₦airaland Forum

tnx for d completion

who dey tlk?

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

@ayus

hmm hmm, y u no tell me na, make we go together

abeg shout ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

haba ay. i not fit fashy u nw, hw u dey

to our room na

thats ma yummie

@dups10

pls look for somtin else joh

zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom

lollllllllllll i c

Reasons to Become a Nurse

- Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.

- Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms.

- Needles: It's better to give than to receive.

- Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops, eventually.

- Expose yourself to rare, exotic, & exciting new diseases.

- Interesting aromas.

- Do enough charting to navigate around the world.

- Celebrate the holidays with all your friends, at work.

- Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

- Courteous & infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.

nightie hw many picanto obby don giv u during his reign and after

cold:
POINT OF VIEW

A woman was bein congratulated by a frnd after her son & daughter were married within a month of each other.
"What kind of boy did your daughter marry?" asked the neighbor.
"Oh,he's wonderful"gushed the mother."He maqs her sleep late,wants her to go to d beauty parlor every day,won't let her cook,insists upon taqin her out to dinner evry night."
"That's nice"'said the neighbor."And your son?What kind of girl did he marry?

"The mother sighed, "Oh i'm not so happy there.She's lazy.Slips late evry mornin,spends all her time at the beauty parlor,won't cook & maqs them taq all their meals out".

lmao

tintin

One day the obj was out jogging and accidentally fell from a ridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the obj out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of nigeria today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."

The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"

"I'll personally hand it to you," said Mr. President.

"I'd like to be d EFCC chairman," the second boy said.

"I'll appoint you immediately," said the grateful president.

"And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.

"I'll personally , wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!"

"No -- but I will be when my dad finds out I saved you from drowning."

she must hear

biggy

Attorney's Heart

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "You're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker".

The man quickly responds, "The attorney's".

The doctor says, "Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

The man says, "I already know enough. We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"

to where

Hurts All Over

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "You have to help me, I hurt all over," said the woman.

"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.

The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

My Aunt passed away this past January. Her bank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, but had now grown to somewhere around $60.00.

I placed the following phone call to the bank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections, "

Bank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Bank:"Do I think God, excuse me, what did you say?"

Me: "Do you understand what I was telling you, specifically the part about her being, dead?"

Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Bank: ", (stammer)" , "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew, but feel free to contact her lawyer at: Bleep"

Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure."

( Later, After they have gotten the fax. )

Bank: "Our system just isn't set up to handle this, "

Me: "Oh, "

Bank: "I don't know what more I can do to help, "

Me: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her, I suppose, don't really think she will care, "

Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Bank: "That might help."

Me: "Fredrickson Memorial Cemetery, Hwy 19 and plot number 233."

Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "Yes sir, that's what we do with our departed loved ones."

dat is d besttiest place, i can assure u

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.

The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."

"And did he?"

"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

Gud Morning

coz u r lovly yummie

aiit yummie G/M

tnx britany

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.

Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"

The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."

The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.

Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."