Hi,

I read your entire story and here are my feedback and advice;

1. Your Husband seems like a Narcissistic personality type. And you as a mother has a co-dependent personality. The toxic relationship dynamic between you and your husband is the foundation for a poor family relationship dynamic. I would highly recommend couples therapy to improve the relationship dynamic with your husband.

2. About your son. Among your entire family, your first son is the only one that recognizes the toxic family dynamic within your family unit. This has led him to withdraw and isolate himself from his immediate support group. This has led to you and your family to label him as the blacksheep of the family. I am sure you and your husband see your first son as the cause of the family problems. This is the usual dilemma of the blacksheep or scapegoat of a dysfunctional family unit.

3. This brings me to my next point. Amending the relationship with your son and fostering a positive mindset in him. Firstly you need to talk to him one on one. Without any form of judgment. And most importantly, in confidentiality. When I say confidentiality, i mean that you need to assure him that your conversation is between mother and son. Void of the fathers (your husbands) influence. The aim to build trust with him, create a safe space for him to feel comfortable with you. Sincerely apologize to him as regards any wrongs you have made as a mother. Be sincere, and give references or past events so he knows that you are genuine. This one on one communication would require you as a mother to come down to his level to really understand and relate to whatever he has to say. The aim of the communication exercise is to establish connection between you two. In the end your son should be fully aware that his mother wants the best for him and is willing to work with him to achieve this. That is the goal. Please note that this step might not happen in 1 day, it might take a while to build this level of trust, intimacy and understanding with your son. So be patient

4. While you work on building a better relationship with your son, also work on the relationship you have with yourself. Learn to set firm boundaries with yourself. This would prevent people (including your husband) from easily manipulating you. Learn to speak positively to your self. This would help you speak to your son because you would be able to relate on a positive frequency when both of you communicate on personal matters. Learn to be accountable. Take full responsibility for the lapses and mistakes you made and lay down concrete steps on how you would improve yourself.


There are a lot of i would have loved to pen down but i feel these few points would really help out.

You sharing your story here means that the motherly instinct to do what is best for your family still burns within you.

Feel free to reach out to me.

Keep pushing and dont give up.

Hi,

I think you should highly consider upgrading your status (maybe take some online courses or certifications) with the aim of increasing your worth in the labour market. While doing this, be actively looking for other better vacancies.

I am suggesting this because the salary figures you are mentioning are too low considering you have a family to cater for. And this current economy is not favorable.

Keep pushing bro

ibkayee:
Laziness

thats sad

This is innovative.

To be honest, I am highly positive and hopeful for the great things that would come forth from Nigeria in the coming decade.

Kudos to the team.

@swaylore

Nice to meet you. And thanks a lot for the feedback.

Nigerian Architect Akinwale Arokodare has passion for creating digital worlds. An avid technology and design enthusiast passionate about using empathetic Design and Technology to create his Metaverse.

Akinwale believes that the next coming decade, humanity would experience significant technological advancement, especially in the regions of immersive technology. And that designers, architects, or creatives would have a huge responsibility in creating these immersive digital worlds in other to provide sensual experiences.

In this article, Akinwale shares snapshots of metaverse versions of various landmarks of Nigeria such as; Tafawa Balewa Square, National theater, Catholic Church of Christ, and the Lekki Ikoyi link bridge.

Edit*

I couldnt find out how to edit the main post to include the images.

So i decided to try uploading them in this post;

Image 1;
[img]https://imagizer./img923/4417/rLzwud.jpg[/img]

Image 2:
[img]https://imagizer./img922/9706/9HFskV.jpg[/img]

Image 3:
[img]https://imagizer./img923/4872/DHDcDD.jpg[/img]

Hello Nairalanders,

I would like to share an article i just published with you guys.

Application of emotional design thinking to propose efficient changes to the specifications of technology, with the aim of reducing their negative environmental impact.

The article highlights the negative environmental impact of using white themed papers within the digital landscape as a result of the unconscious emotional attachment humans have with technology.

Please share and spread the light.

Comments and feedback are welcome

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Letter to my Dad

Its the middle of a cold night, and I am staring at my PC screen, glancing at an email received from my Dad about 3 weeks earlier. Notwithstanding the broad darkness that wrapped herself around the vacant Lagos streets, I found myself actively searching for the mental strength to draft a supposedly long-awaited response to him. A reluctant effort that required significant struggle, I must say. However, despite the formidable internal battle with hesitation & procrastination, letters turned into words, words to sentences, and sentences became a scanty but precise 1-pager with contents well dressed up to mask feelings of hurt, disgust and bitterness.

Strangely though, completing the herculean task of drafting a response didn't bring the mental & emotional reward I was expecting. Rather, I felt uncomfortable just thinking of the possibility that the recipient will end up printing my email. What a waste of beautiful trees, I thought. This was someone who had the habit of printing everything. Those little ecological friendly text signatures located at the bottom of emails advising recipients to refrain from unnecessary printing wouldn’t cut it.

My Approach

Out of my genuine love and connection with earth, I prompted to protect Her beauty in my own little way by editing the email response before sending. My aim was to reduce the probability of the recipient printing my email. I changed the page background color to black, changed the color of the text/content to white. Exported as a PDF, hit Send. Oh, I included a footer & header text stating the following;
This document was created with a black background intentionally. Reduce Deforestation. Save the Earth

A drop in the Ocean

Albeit a personal effort towards making a positive impact on the environment, an effort which is largely insignificant when compared with the current prevalent environmental conditions, most especially the. effect of paper waste. According to statistical data at theworldcounts’s online website, the global consumption of paper from 2001 to 2019 amounts to 386 million hectares of forest lost . This loss represents 10% decrease in trees since year 2000. Considering that about 93% of paper comes from trees, this amounts to a huge loss of our beautiful nature.

This loss fueled my desire for a more sensitive and emotional approach towards the use of paper. An approach that’s applied at the roots of the human mind, rather than at the roots of beautiful trees.

A sad Acceptance

I noticed a link between the rate of deforestation and the emotional attachment humans have with paper. Its one of unconscious acceptance of social/technological norms. We are so used to seeing white background themed papers on the digital screens that we do not cringe at the sight of piles of wasted paper within our personal space. Talk less of hectares of forests amounting to millions.
This “collective unconscious” acceptance of a digital theme spirals into series of occurrences that have far-reaching negative impact on our physical environment. One could argue that such dilemma is one of the hidden negative impact of technology on society,
A sad fairytale, I must say. The erosion of human freedom, dignity, and potential by technology.

The illustrations below describe the various emotional states towards different scenarios.



Image 1 above describes the emotional state of an individual observing a digital screen with white page.



Image 2 above describes the emotional state of an individual observing piles of wasted paper (white page background), and with varied ink usage /coverage.



Image 3 changes the scenario significantly by filling 98% of the white paper with ink. So basically, imagine walking into an office space and seeing piles of wasted paper all covered in ink. Front and back sides, including the top, bottom and side borders. All covered in ink.

Images 2 & 3 could capture the same amount of paper but deliver very different emotional responses. Surprisingly though, the emotional responses of surprise, guilt and shame become present when there is significant presence of Ink (i.e. absence of visible white paper) as shown in Image 3.

Despite the distinct emotional responses in scenario 2 &3, the loss of beautiful trees is the same.

A black background changes human behavior, consciousness and awareness towards the effects of waste, by placing the processes that instigate the required emotional responses before the relevant actions (such as printing) are committed.

Collective drops of Empathy

Altering a behavioral pattern that’s been unconsciously accepted by majority on a global scale would require major effort from much of the population. A united and consequential endeavor hinged on the waves of sensitivity for planet Earth and Her inhabitants. The required drive for change will involve major shift in how we think and feel towards ourselves.

Imaging turning on your device, launching Microsoft Office Word or PowerPoint, you are welcomed with a black themed paper. Your expressions are recorded on the screen as white text outlines. Hitting Ctlr-P becomes a decision that requires you to feel & think before you act. You wouldn’t want people to see that you used up the printer ink, would you? Imagine a world where digital signatures are the norm. Internal memos, corporate letter heads, formal & informal letters, quotations, proposals, invoices, bills, etc. All products of digital desktop publishing, mostly circulated and contained within the digital space. Rather than littering, degrading, and destroying our personal space.

Objectively speaking, my actions alone will not be enough to cause significant improvement in the reduction of deforestation and the overall effects of climate change. Nevertheless, my experience and subtle plea could shed light on the possibilities achievable when humanity feels rather than thinks.

#blackpaper
#000000


Thank you.
Akinwale Arokodare

...

I agree 100%

genq:



Nope!

This lockdown will cause the breakdown of many marriages.
Couples who are used to having their own space will be forced to deal with the reality of their already broken relationship. Husbands and wives will get sick and tired of each other, children will be bored and will end up witnessing numerous arguments between their parents.
It's gonna be a sh!t show!

I found a write up on this topic.

Check out the attached images.

Anyone notice queues at filling stations already

Bro my advice;

Be careful when trying any new stuff on your skin. You never no how your body will react to the ingredients. I will advice that whenever you are trying out new stuffs, just apply them to a small area and watch how it affects the region before you apply it the whole area.

On my personal experience. I will l like to ask, is this from pimples, or razor bumps? However, with the position on your face it looks like its caused from razor bumps. I use a cream called Neo-Medrol. You can try it out, but refer to my advice in second paragraph.

Depending on your location, Neo-Medrol is considered as a steroid and thus banned in some countries so you should check the availability. You should also research on it so you are more aware.

Also another advice... most times, manifestations on the external part of our body is as a result of what we put inside. so please consider your nutrition, drink a lot of water daily, lots of fruits and vegetables, reduce carbs e.t.c.

Lastly, i will advice you get a zinc supplement. It helps there are several research online referencing the lack of zinc in the blood to the development of acne & pimples on a Male's face. Most of these papers say that ejaculates contains about 14mg of zinc so you might have to reduce the frequency at which you shoot.

Just my 2cents bro.

ahnie:
Sex...my sex life z snoring!

why?

HaileSelassie:
2018 has been a roller coaster year for me.. Got a job around Feb immediately after service.. Obviously oblivious of how office politics is played, I got booted out some four months later.

Only to discover that the girl I had built my dreams with was only leveraging on me and cheating all d time. Attended a record 15 interviews after being relived no show... Gosh!

I lost interest in life itself.. I lost interest in developing relationships, Backstabbing friends, selfish FAM, mom remarrying just a year after dads death, losing that family love I once enjoyed as a last born, mehn I slipped into depression...

I long lost interest in My dear Arsenal football club, getting to watch again after Emery's appointment. Lost interest in sex, lol my libido used to be up above d clouds, lost interest in my web development tutorials..

I had fixed q date to commit suicide sef, just hung on and finally opened up to my elder bro. Who admonished me not to give up!



D only thing safeguarding my sanity is working out.. Venting the frustrations on those iron bars.. I lost fat and built up muscles.

Well still haven't gotten a Job, the interviews keep coming had one on Friday, and another comes up on Wednesday, not giving up yet.. I might have Lost a great deal of my vibe, but I am getting back to my real self

Still got bouts of depression now and then, but I know it will be over soon.. Amen

I feel you Bro..

Just keep doing things that keep your mind from going under... like the gym routine... Avoid bad company, cos misery likes such environment. Surround yourself with people that cheer and motivate you. Maintain your health. Keep in touch with friends and family. Avoid too much social media, but keep your self updated with current happenings. Focus on self-development. Gradually, or suddenly, it will work out.

trustworthy1:
Before now, I read novels a lot to the extent that small children (my neighbor 's children) always give their novels. But now I have so much lost interest in novels that it doesn't trip me anymore.
Also, before now, I always like posting pictures on facebook and enjoy all those likes and comments in pictures. Right now I detest social media to the extent that I deactivated my facebook account.

Nice

anayolity:
Good morning Family!

What are those things you've lost interest in recently?
I will start with me; work, sex ,friends, humanity,trust.

feel free to add yours..

You have lost interest in basic life issues. SO what did you develop interest in?

The fight for Lagos is getting intense within the party and with opposing parties.

But honestly, who wouldn't want this so called "god-fatherism" in APC-Lagos saga to end? Putting an end to the saga seems to be a more greater objective than having a so called preferred candidate emerge as winner.

Does anyone know if Jimmy Agbaje is making a come back?

Is that a "Police station" structure?..

"Speaking their mode of operation, Gora said in the evening a group of not less than four members of the syndicate would be stationed at a particular cash machine to pose innocently and observe the customers as they carry out their transactions on the cash machines."

Would anyone be comfortable accessing an ATM with 4 unknowing persons stationed just by the machine?

MamaTuoyo:
I am a CU graduate and to be honest, I am speechless.

Oyedepo needs to look into this, Funny enough papa may not respond. Then when I was still in school, he was always saying that he does not read newspapers and listen to what people has to say about him. I know the man is really trying his best, but the people he put in charge are just trying to be mini gods. Muyiwa and most of the management team were 2 sets before my set, and I expect them to be more understanding since they were once students in the school. I really don't understand what they are doing, including Azubuike.

I can remember how they almost expelled my younger brother and sister because they saw a video of my sister's birthday party in her laptop. The party was done during the holiday. So they wanted to expel everyone in the video. My mom ran to school immediately and she was able to sort things out.

Covenant University is a good school academically, but the people running the school ain't doing what Oyedepo wants them to do.

Spot on.

There seems to be a disconnect between the people running/managing the place and Pst Oyedepo. I remember Muyiwa as a holy/ Pst Oyedepo protogee. Now it seems he was just forming demi god. I wouldn't be surprised if other students present and past come forth with more daring stories. This might be the tip of the iceberg

UyaiIncomparabl:
Why aren't there comments from females here? Don't you people work too?

OP. Hang in there. You'll be fine. I prophesy that by the end of this month, being my birth month, you shall be surprised with something very decent. Amen.

You spoke my mind

Position: Cartoonist illuatrator

Requirements:
* Create cartoon illustrations in vector format
* Work with various vector software applications (e.g corel draw)
* In depth knowledge of kids oriented cartoon illistrations
* Innovative and creative

Job details
* 6 months contract (extendable)

Location
* Lagos

Send portfolio to
Info@wireframeonline.com

SURElee:

You don't have tho give up rice, just switch to brown, bssmati or ofada rice with plenty of veggies.
Amala should be made from plantain flour and alwasysd eaten with oiless okro soup
Unripe plantain boiled with oiless steamed vegetables, greens, carrots, cabbage, lettuce etc
Sweet potato boiled with veggies no oil
No fried foods
Drink 3 litres of water daily
Do skipping exercises.
Take boiled ginger water and lemon first thing in the morning on empty stomach
Drink at least 3 cups of green tea daily

Thanks surelee.. nice one there

wow nice one it's your choice my dear, keep it up

francababy:
I need suggestions from those who live or have knowledge of the the safest and most privates estates in Lagos. The company I work for intends to build a staff quarters for expatriates to save money on hotels and rents, going long-term.

Please I need this information urgently and honestly as I have being placed in charge of the building committee. And, the requirements are that the estate should have record of being secure, with good security and private. People can not just flock in and out of the estate when they have no business there.

If this can be on frontpage, I would appreciate.

Hi Franka,

Just went through your post. Also, I sent you an email. My company is currently constructing a luxury Residential apartment at Park view. Th building is currently at Finishing stage. The residence is fully serviced with 247 electricity, with security, a swimming pool and a Gym.

Considering that the users would be Expertrates, I would suggest renting serviced residences, since the users are not permanent residents.

If interested, contact me. We can visit the building and have a look.

I got the exact same email... How do you know its a scam..

Anyways, I also think its a scam cos of various reasons.

1. The email used in sending the email.... HR@Jobfactory.org........ Why not the real company address?
2. In one of the documents attached along with the email (Travel docs) you are asked to contact a particular travel agency to book your flight and train tickets with.... Now thats how they would steal your money

Let me know what you think

Lets play on www.Chess.com

search whalewale

Good luck