₦airaland Forum

speeder: A wife sends a nude photo to her husband with both legs wide open.
WIFE: I will wait like this till you come.
HUSBAND: That's okay babe, but who ib s the person taking the picture?

WIFE: This is the 21st century for goodness sake! Didn't I tell you I bought a new camera? It has a mode that allows you set a time for the cam, take a pose, then the camera does the rest. That is, you can set it to take the shots by itself.
HUSBAND: Amazing!
WIFE: I hope you didn't forget that my friends will be coming over next week?
HUSBAND: Yes, what about it?
WIFE: I told them you are the smartest, most intelligent man alive. Now, wouldn't it be good you didn't show up that Saturday, save yourself the embarassment of advanced discussions? I know a good excuse to give for your absence.
MANFRIEND: You dey too much, joor!
WIFE: Wetin man... woman go do?
MANFRIEND: But do you think he bought it?
WIFE: Too much talk no good for evening mass.
They resume their 'sextivity.'

Somebody who chooses to walk to the fifteenth floor of a building when there is a well-mainained, functional lift provided should not complain to me about food assistance or fatigue. Thank God she mentioned the agricultural sector, a sector we do not want to harness to the limits. It is a shame we have an alarming rate of unemployment in a richly blessed nation. My question: "What will she or 'they' have when the affected become concerned, because they are not yet...

If you cannot get off this forum due to spreading of life-changing messages, why are you complaining then? Nevertheless, not having SELF-CONTROL is something our Creator detests. I took a short break from Nairaland, thanks for bringing me back. l have been laughing at several comments here, too.

When will Ps3s boku for 'belgium'? presently playing my Ps2.

Whether Elephant say him go bite dogs, that one na him own concern. Whether dogs say dem go swallow elephant, new things go dey happen always. After all gragra na LION still get jungle.
This LION is the class of followers, the one I fall into. We have both the knife and yam in our hands, and we give to whomever we
please. Come 2015, na whom the cap fit go wear am. If Nigeria better, e better for you and me.

striktlymi: Hmmm...very nice! But the question here is: do you believe we will retain our free-will? If yes, then what is the assurance that we can't sin like Lucifer did? Remember that the things you mentioned: sex, fear, poverty etc were not the motivation for Lucifer...he wanted power.

Why are you still asking me questions about Freewill and satan's covetousness for power? Maybe you slowly and carefully go through my script again. Let me point out what satan failed to realise about God before he (satan) started coveting what belonged solely to our 'Rock of Ages' with this illustration. Suppose you are the owner of a big house and under your employ are several servants. Physically you are another Samson who no one knows how to defeat. The law in the house is that no gun is allowed, yet you have a secretly loaded gun hidden in one of the rooms. Unfortunately, one of your servants chances upon this gun, intent on killing you and taking over your property. The day he finally pulls the trigger is the day he finds you always wear a bullet proof vest inside. The day he finds out that the gun had always been put there to test their sincerity.
The bible asks a question: "Why do you fear the one who has power to kill the body only; what about the One who has the power to kill both the body and the soul?" Again, 'who can battle our God and win?' Satan might have thought he had finally won his evil intentions when he found (the gun), only he had not fully understood the powers that his Creator possessed. Nobody likes engaging in a battle he already knows he will not win. In fact, seeing God's biggest enemies- satan and his demons- blown to nothingness in the flames of hells, why would any one of the righteous wanna start a business he will not be able to finish. We will still have our freewill and more, but nobody will wanna try what the father of unfinished business did and failed. Who can battle the Lion of the tribe of Judea...?
What I have found out today is that somehow our present world has been a test ground since the garden of Eden saga.

At Ijaw kid, I feel upset when some people and pastors talk of Jesus as if he was an ordinary man. Jesus was God's son become man. He was perfect all through, sinnerless. No matter how a christian you are, you cannot be perfect or sinnerless; we inherited that mark of imperfection from our first parents. That is why we ask of forgiveness whenever we wrong one another or God.
At striktlymi, too much thuggish music I listen to. I meant my eyes are opening the more.
Back to the topic, let us see this topik from another angle, the angle of the present world being a test ground. Before I proceed, let me present this to the house: Was the satanic rebellion before God created the garden of Eden and man or after. If the rebellion was before man got moulded, then I see the the Job's scenario playing out. It seems the real reason why the tree of life was finally put in the garden could have been satan challenged that man will only worship God if man didn't see something better, had everything going for him positively, just like was in Job's case.
Adam, unlike Job, failed his test. Had it been Adam passed his test, a time will come when the trees would have been uprooted and taken out of the garden, and satan punished alone for his sins. This leads to one of my best scriptural statements: Many are called but few are chosen. This statement is beginning to form a new meaning for me. After the destruction of the present world the FEW will be chosen from the many, saved because they are sheep in Jesus' flock.
Those who make it to the new world and heaven will not fail like Adam did his test. Like Job, they passed once and for all, and tested shall they never be again! All the things that forced us into sin in their former lifes would be gone: sex, fear, poverty, inequality, malnourishment and starvation, death, sickness et c. Nobody can defeat God. Moreover, seeing the punishment granted the sinful ones, man has no option than be loyal. God is God, who can battle him and prevail. My people say "anaghi arapu ebe a n'echi ozo jebe ebe a n'aro agwu."
I do not know whether he has "eaten the fruit." Anyways, just my assumptions.

striktlymi: I have been thinking about what you have up there and if I am correct...the summary is that if eventually you make it to heaven, you would choose to align your will completely to that of God by asking him to remove your capacity to be rebellious?

If the above is what you are saying then would I be correct to say that you hold the belief that in heaven there won't be the freedom to sin? In order words, free-will will become limited to only what is pleasing to God?

No. What I was saying is that used to be my old fear till I fell on this topic. By disintegration I mean that I should become non-existent. That is, if I make heaven I would like to decide by myself whether to be in heaven, enjoy the new life or stop existing because of my old fear that the satanic cycle might repeat itself. That is if I am lucky to make heaven, for 'hellers' will not have need for this opportunity anyway.
Nevertheless, so many things are creeping outta my mind since I set eyes on this topic.

striktlymi: The only case I can think of right now would be that of Lucifer....he was with God in heaven but still had the ability to sin. Are we saying that that part of sacred scriptures is only relevant for man and not angels?

Another question I might add would be that, if Lucifer was able to sin what assurance do we have that Angel Michael, Raphael and Gabriel would not do the same some time after?

You do believe that man will continue having free-will in the life after...I still do not understand how man can have free-will and still not have the capacity for sin.

Yes, the bible was written thousands of years ago, so how does one know whether other angels have not joined the satanic alliance? I once replied a pastor asking for my stand on making heaven, "if I was opportuned to be among the 'sheep', I would request God disintegrated my whatever form I had then." He asked my reason, I did not give him a reply. This topic was my reason, fearing a repeat of the satanic feat.
Going with the bible, satan's sin was different from the other angels' stains. While satan is roaming the world with his colleagues: humans and some fallen angels, some fallen angels or demons are locked up in nether prisons, waiting for the day they, satan and his other demons, and a part of mankind who thought the gospel of Jesus was a joke, would be,given their punishment in the lake of fire.
Loyalty. Whether God decides to make us robots or still continue with His freewill approach, man would have finally, loyally too, found the answer to Joshua's command to Isreal of old: "Choose you today whom to serve." Seeing all the past consequences that come with turning against God, reaping those present gains that goes with serving Him, that new set of mankind will serve God wholeheartedly. Afterall they fought the good fight and won.
Off topic or new topic, I think not every 'sheep' will make heaven, this world was created was created for a purpose. If not that our first parents erred...

fifa456n: There is no believing in evolution, it is a fact, there is just so much evidence it's overwhelming. And all your free will argument is rather weak, if there is a god of the bible, there is no free will but rather an illusion of free will because god already knows all our plan. The christian god is clearly a man made invention, a racist, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynist, psychopath, angry, jealous diety. Yea you might say it is innate, but back in the days when human didnt know anything about their world, God sounded like a good idea, and things like sickness were viewed as devil's work

So you finally believe in evolution, or you can believe in anything. Afterall it is a free world! Nobody is forcing you to give up on your beliefs. Just like I wrote earlier, I have seen atheists give up on their beliefs and turn monotheists or polytheists, and vice-versa. Like you, I have thought deeply about so many things that surround us on this planet, about God et c. In fact, who has not.
On freewill, it is so, so real. Even the bible says we are created in God's own image. I know so many times I have used my senses to see the outcome of a venture, yet I go ahead and give it a try, hoping it turns out contrary to what I had on mind.
Talking about diseases, I do not know your ancient people's views on it. My great ancestors classified it into two: The one with a physical cause, needing you to go into bush and cut some grasses or herbs; the one with a spiritual cause, where you had to consult a 'dibia' and offer some sacrifices. I have old relatives who still do not believe orthodox medicine, who use herbs and consult native doctors. That is, not everyone, centuries ago, believed that every sickness was caused by the devil. We have been given the power to subdue the world. Some do and praise their God(s), some do and challenge their Maker.

If you do not believe in evolution just like few atheists, what do you then really believe in?
To topic, I have severally searched for the tribe in the world that was bereft of an idea or worship of god before they got 'enlightened'. We did not learn that one, it is innate. That is, Asia might have brought us God and Jesus or God and Mohammed, but every continent had their gods, including several superstitions.
The God the bible teaches is a God of love. From the account in Eden of Genesis God blessed man with freewill. This freewill was put to test when our first parents decided to heed satan's advice. It was replicated again by Isreal of old when they made Saul king, rejecting God's leadership. The "let Thy kingdom come" part of The Lord's prayer is simply telling us that man cannot do anything positively lasting without God's intervention. If God is now neutral in (some) of the happenings of the world, that does not mean He will be neutral forever. When the appointed time comes, He will intervene. Then, man will see no reason not to be loyal to His leadership. Ever since man got the leadership baton in his hands, to the day he will 'guil:tifully' return it to the owner, he has been falling from one peril to another.
Our brain is the greatest gift God gave to mankind. Just like other earthly gifts, some underuse, overuse, use it correctly, or use it wrongly, even to the extent of insulting the giver of the gift. It is a pity that not everyone (even me) may be saved. In our world the only thing constant is CHANGE: People have gone from being christians, muslims, pagans to being atheists, and vice-versa. Myself?, I do not belong to any church presently, I am a stay-at-home christian.

When some Africans in the same literary class as Achebe are comfortable calling him by that title, I cannot see the reason why Soyinka is making matter out of it. I will not blame Africa and some honest parts of the world for giving him that title, afterall we are not fools, even if the western world thinks otherwise.
When we started having feelings that some of our children were going to honoured for their excellence in literature, we knew that it would not be long before Chinua's name got mentioned. Since the body responsible for the award thought otherwise, men and women of integrity decided to celebrate him in their own way. Like someone said, it might still get to him posthumously. He deserved the father of modern African literature title.

Peter should know that Anambrarians will never again vote in candidates with qualities as his. When did he become the 'king-maker' in our dear state. Hurry up with your tenure and go for questioning, abeg!

Okija_juju: FINALLY!!!

Shey when I said it that this Polymer Business was pennywise, pound foolish, some imbec!les attacked me.. Atleast a paper bill would tear and be re cellotaped, but polymer fades of.. Infact, some polymer bills are so bad, you cant even tell what denomination of currency you are holding.

This is a welcomed development!!

What if we were into recycling full-time? One of the things wrong with Nigeria is not that we cannot have the bullet trains that ply the rails of the Japanese and French; the maintenance spirit is not just here. Let somebody tell'em that we could recycle these 'faded' notes, incurring less cost in the process of making new notes.

CHAIRMAN1: And my naija brothers and sisters are hailing her as one of the greatest leaders of her time....take ur time o! Make una de try do research my people! Nobody seems to like Mma Thatcher

The greatest or best leaders always have the largest number of people trying to 'pull' you down. Being the best does not come easy; your opposition will range from people who think you are no good to people who think they will fare better. If you think I am wrong, ask The Son of God.

Few years ago I always got offended when people said my hands were very large they feared for the person I laid them on. Now it seems it pays to have hands on the large side! My prayer request: Jesus, son of David, let these companies come and pay to use my hands to test their devices. Let us go to work for the 'real' reason for my hands- the size of a gorilla's- are here.
Being serious, where will this technological madness lead us?

Seems most of you guys do not know or have forgotten them hellish rappers from Cleveland, Bone thugs 'n' harmony. Anytime you guys talk about rap and fail to mention their name I feel you have not started! They were the pioneers of fast rap but none of their members is on that picture, only their mentor, Eazy-E.

Since men learnt to shoot without missing, eagle learnt to fly without perching. Use your polymer or rubber hand-gloves to rip the 'fortress' to shreds!
In vain do we watch over a building if God is not... What am I even on about?

Igwebuike.
Unity breaks adversity.

This n7 has become the next big thang in my area at Awka. Men, women, boys and girls are flexing the machine as if it is a rare gem, a diamond. Nobody wants to see it as a 'Tecno.'
Another question: Does it come with that flip cover, or do you buy and fix it yourself?

BizBloke: Just call me. I have lots of them. Thanks!

I wanna know whether it is pay on delivery or pay before you deliver?

Who are these alamajiris? If it is right to have 'them' in our islamic north, is it right to have them in our present day naija? Force them to be enrolled in available schools while you build more schools for everyone. Nobody is an almajiri, osu, slave, never-do-well et c. Truth be told, they will change when they do things with 'normal' people. Building all these schools and segregating this folks will not help matters. Let us stop wasting our limited funds. Who are these alamajiris? If it is right to have 'them' in our islamic north, is it right to have them in our present day naija? Force them to be enrolled in available schools while you build more schools for everyone. Nobody is an almajiri, osu, slave, never-do-well et c. Truth be told, they will change when they do things with 'normal' people. Building all these schools and segregating this folks will not help matters. Let us stop wasting our limited funds.

Once discussed this topic with my neighbor. He was the type that screamed as he prayed, so everybody in the compound heard his evil pleas to God about his enemies.
God is love, and all who serve Him must know how to love eveyone- even your killer! Nevertheless, we are all humans, and it is easier said than done.