₦airaland Forum

EagleScribes:
It's about a month in office now

But before I complain, I feel it is better to be slow and know where you are heading to, than to rush into taking decisions without having a direction

Really, you are a pure evidence of the saying that common sense is not common. So buhari wasn't prepared b4 he came out to contest inda first place. After 4months of winning an election, buhari is still thinking on how to form a Government. We are in serious poo

Abegi , this na serious matter o. Don't just read and go, Your advice is highly needed

I have been dating this girl for about 3months now; two days ago, she sent me a worrisome text that got me thinking. Please read below and tell me what you think I should do.

This is how it all happened, 4days ago, I traveled from Owerri to Portharcourt for a seminar. When I got to the PH, I boarded a taxi to get to my destination. Few minutes after I step down from the taxi, I realized my phone wasn't with me, (I mistakenly dropped it inside the taxi)and the taxi was long gone; so I call my line immediately, and the taxi man answered the call, and told me he is on his way outside the state for a work, but promised he will return the next day. He said I should come to their company the next day to collect it.

The next day, I went to the taxi company and they gave me my phone, the battery was dead, so I want to my hotel room to charge it in other to contact my girlfriend (whom I know must have been trying to contact me for long) ( I don't have her number offhand yet) to let her know I arrived PH safely. Immediately my phone got some life, 3 messages from my girlfriend entered my phone, when I opened it, I was shocked to see the content.

In some of her messages to me, she said "you think you can do anything with a girl, and go free? After I finishing dealing with you, whenever you see a girl you will you will run for your life, that is if ever you will survive. No matter where you run to, I will find you. This is not a threat, this is a promise... you have just dig your own grave, In your next life you wouldn't mess with a girl like me. You were deceived by my calmness, that's why you think you can do anything you like to me.. Lolz! Had it been you know me well, I doubt if you will try nonsense with me. Go and ask very well about me, pple who know me well will tell you that you are finished dude, you will see fire, you mess with the wrong girl, RIP in advance bastard , we shall see who laughs last".

After reading the messages, I was wondering why on earth will she send such to me, so I called her phone several times, but she kept declining my call. When I was scrolling through my phone to uncover what went on, on my message outbox , I noticed this text message was send to her from my phone during the period my phone was with the taxi man: " DON'T CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN, YOU ARE DISTURBING ME". I think she was calling my phone after I left it in the taxi, and the taxi man stupidly thought the best thing to do was to send such message to her to make her stop disturbing him while driving.

Now, I'm still in PH, planning to travel back to Owerri tomorrow. She is still declining my calls. I have send her several text messages explaining what happened, but got no reply from her. I have called her neighbour to ask about her, and she said she hasn't seen her.

Truly, this made me realize I don't really know her that well, or know what she is capable of doing. I don't even know if I should report the issue to the police when I get to owerri, or I should just take it as an empty threat.

What will you do if you find yourself in this scenario? Will you still continue with the relationship if she finally realize you are innocent?

raayah:
It depends on the couple. Compromises can be made.

They can decide to go to their different churches.
Or Choose to go to one church.

My mum went to deeper life on sunday while dad went to Anglican.

No hassle

Really! I think only few african men will allow that.

Those day in school I have this female friend , she is core catholic from a catholic family. We all attended catholic student fellowship together when we where in school. Last sunday, as I was driving pass, I saw her coming of from an Anglican church. I stopped and called her and we exchanged pleasantries. So, i ask her if she now attends anglican; and she said yes, that she got married to an anglican man. She went on to say that , a woman have no church until she marry. That love can lead a woman to any church or to any religion.



Is it true that a woman have no church until she
marries?

Dollyak:
Really. Some girls still fight over guys in 21st century? God help you lots

Is all about the guy's money . she is defending her maga

lexy2014:
tnx 4d compliments and d response. So if u claim 2b an adult who knows all, y didn't u give this answer in d first place? (What do u mean by "whatever way"Permit me yet again 2 borrow from your wealth of wisdom. Which taxes does d FG collect from d people of d SE?

Your lack of knowledge is on the high level. Go and enlighten yourself. Enough of the free lectures! I need an intelligent brain to argue with, not one that keep asking dumb questions without making a single point. I got better things to do

lexy2014:
I believe d question is simple and straightforward enough 4 anyone 2 answer. U don't need 2b a rocket scientist 2no how 2 partake in a discussion. Its when u don't no what 2 say that u resort 2 using cheap talk like uv done. So, what resources are u talking about?

So you mean to tell me that you don't know that every state in nigeria contribute some parcel to the revenue of Nigeria, be it through tax or whatever way. It this is what gives them the right to demand something frm federal Government. Voting a man to become a president is not the ground for one to obtain the right to demand . That's why I said you asked dumb question, bcus even primary school children knows every state contribute to the centre.

ChappyChase:
Wa joko si mbe, ke anyi tua, e na kudi nka?
Come sidon, make we bet, wey your money?

Omo yolober! Omo yolober! Kuro nibiyi. Abo oro la a so fomoluabi boba de nu e a dodidi... E dahun oruko yin .

lexy2014:
what resources are u talking about?

What a Dumb Question! As old as you are, so you are yet to know that every state contribute their part in Nigeria's revenue.

ChappyChase:
Hahahahahahha! Well you are not the first person to shut me up for saying am an Igbo boy(I don't even look like it).. But as an igbo boy who has lived in 12 different state of Nigeria speaks 7 different language(Igo,Hausa and Yoruba included), I will say with all due respect an Igbo man can never rule a fellow igbo that's why most of us leave our villages to other land cause we got the "I must succeed" syndrome and our pride always makes us to succeed!!!! I love igbo and am proud to be an Igbo!!

Story for the gods! You are a pure yolober . I can bet on that!

ChappyChase:
You know that is impossible! I as an igbo man will never vote for any igbo man!!! E bu eze ne hulo gi( translated) you are a king in your own house!!!!! If you be igbo you will know the literal meaning of that adage....

Shout up! Stop claiming what you are not. You are a typical yoruba boy with yoruba tribal marks all over your face. Stop deceiving yourself ok . Igbo wanna be

yusufobinna1:
This people are the most confused being God ever created,from we don't need a post to build second niger bridge and yet u didn't vote this man but u want heaven and earth.Biafra

Yes! They didn't vote this man, yet this man still generate resources frm their land, so they have the right to demand sometin back in return.

Kastonkastroll:
the oil is for every nigerian, just because the oil is extracted from your region doesn't make it yours. Grow up mr man

So now the oil is for every nigerian? Yet, you attack a section for making demands frm the government. Bloody hypocrite! That's what you all are. Where did u dump your sense?

cirmuell:
I'm sure he will, but making demands on who he should appoint won't work at all, don't hold your breath.


What resources? Wait, you mean the oil? The people who own it ain't even making any demands. Pffft

Am a Niger deltans! And I suppose the lower Niger movement . We are tired of Nigeria! Hatred and marginalization everywhere !

Kastonkastroll:
. Thief ole, so the niger/delta oil is now yours ?

You are a bloody Parasite! Am a Niger deltan and Rotimi Ameachi is my brother. Stop stealing our resources, if you want us to stop making demands. Ole!!!

500GP:
AM NOT
THE IBO DOESN'T DESERVE ANYTHING FROM BUHARI. THEY ABUSE BEFORE AND DURING THE ELECTION. THEY THOUGHT GEJ WILL WIN BUT IN THE LONG RUN BOTH GEJ N THE IBO FAILED WOEFULLY......
THE NORTH, SOUTH WEST, NORTH CENTRAL........ ARE NOT DEMANDING, WHY IS THAT THE TRIBE THAT CONTRIBUTED LESS IS DEMANDING?

You are nobody mr. Man! APC, buhari and Nigeria as a whole doesn't know u exist. You are just a rag making silly noise on nairaland, and feeling like u are contributing something when u are not.

Alphaoscar:
Else you declare biafra or you refuse to vote for him? What happen to your lower Niger movement and biafra? You think you can be shouting biafra and expect anything meaningful from Nigeria?

Nairaland Slowpoke bigot! You take people's resource and you expect them to keep quiet and not make demands. Leave our resources, and we will never demand anything frm u. Go back to exporting groundnut and Cocoa

MERKEL: Your excellence, Please caution your
incumbent president.

GEJ: What did he do to you?

MERKEL: He called me Michelle and called my
country western Germany.

GEJ: You mean Buhari called you Michelle?

MERKEL : Yes, maybe he thought I was Obama's
wife, that is why he called me Michelle.

GEJ: You mean Buhari also called your country
"western Germany"?

MERKEL: Yes oooo, but I do not know what he
mean by 'Western Germany', perhaps, he wanted to
say, West Germany, besides, west Germany had
ceased to exist since 1990, we have only Germany,
though I tried to correct him but he refused to
listen to me.

GEJ- Did you also say Buhari called you president
Michelle?

MERKEL: My brother, I tire for Buhari ooooo, he
call me president Michelle in the presence of world
leaders, instead of, Chancellor Merkel, please tell
him to re-enrol into one of the many almajri
schools you built in the north.

GEJ: I will do that, but please, kindly forgive him in
the name of allah, he has NEPA bill as certificate.

MERKEL: Did you say NEPA bill, you mean, Sai
BABA did not have ordinary secondary school
certificate which is the minimum requirement to
contest for any elective post in your country.This
is corruption of highest order, the anti-corruption
crusade must start from him.

GEJ: Please let him alone, if it starts from him,
Bamboo and Dog may again soak with blood. The
blood of every Nigerian is important and sacred to
me.

MERKEL: Ok, but please one more thing sir.

GEJ: Make your request, I am listening.

MERKEL: Please sir, whenever Buhari is on
international assignment, Nigeria should get him
an interpreter.

GEJ: Why?

MERKEL: The world leader did not understand what
he was saying in our last G7 summit, that is why
we give him a take home assignment like nursery
two pupil.

GEJ: Hahahahaha, What was the assignment?

MARKEL: We asked him to go back home and list
the assistance he needed from us.

GEJ: Hmmmmm, alright, Nigeria lawmakers will
soon pass a bill that will legalised Hausa as his
official language, both home and abroad, and the
lawmakers will also approve more two senior
special assistants on hausa interpretation for him.
Even, Nigerians are also complaining about his
english, if he speaks, we hardly get the message
he is passing across.

MARKEL: That will be better, but Nigeria don enter
one chance.

GEJ: Hmmmm, please Pray for us.....

Many sexually mature men wake up in the morning with an erection. Some refer to it as "morning wood" or "morning glory". This early morning glory can be confusing for female partners, because most women assume that erections are a result of sexual arousal. Otherwise, why would a guy have one? Yet there are at least two different kinds of erections: the usual kind that results from feeling turned on, and the kind that occurs during sleep. Morning erection is perfectly common, normal and natural, so ladies there's no need for you to freak out or get confused when he wakes up with a wood. In fact, morning wood is completely normal — a lack of it may actually suggest a problem related to erectile dysfunction.

# what causes early morning wood?

1. Full bladder : The increased size of the bladder can stimulate a part of the spinal cord that causes a reflex erection to prevent urination during sleep. This supposedly can provide men with the
psychological benefit of preventing urination during sleep. This is why the wood often disappears the moment during or immediately after urination.

2. Use of Erectile Dysfunction Medications: The use of Erectile Dysfunction drugs like viagra or Cialis can cause one to experience morning wood. The reason, of course, is that all of these usually increase arterial nitric oxide levels, including those in the penis, and this will in turn impact morning erections. It has been found that morning erections are more common in men taking drugs, Like Cialis, than in men who do not use these drugs.

3. Brain Activities During Sleep: During sleep we lose conscious of ourselves. Our brain remain active even as we sleep, it wanders into all sought of things and sometimes, to something erotic in the form of dreams. This often cause physical reactions, such as an erection, without the sleeper waking up. Specific neuro-reflexes that are stimulated during sleep are the cause of the spontaneous erections that occur, and morning erections are simply the tail end of those. A man can still be experiencing the physical effects of midnight erection when he wakes up early in the morning.


# What if You Don’t Experience Morning Erection?

Morning election is not an everyday experience, but a situation whereby you don't experience it at all should be a ground for you to begin troubleshooting if you have psychological (or psychogenic) erectile dysfunction. However, researchers have noted many lines of evidence and studies that show morning erections are primarily connected with your level of testosterone. Testosterone is the principle sex hormone responsible for the development of reproductive
function in male vertebrates. Testosterone is one of the hormones referred to as androgens, which are also known of as anabolic steroids. when testosterone falls far enough, you are likely going to lose your morning erections. That doesn't necessarily mean that you won't still be able to "get it up" during the day when sexually stimulated, however. The reason is that a normal erection is achieved through a different pathway involving the senses of touch, sound and sight. However, if you allow your testosterone to remain at low enough levels for a long enough period of time, it is likely to graduate into erectile difficulties during sex.


# what might cause a man's testosterone to fall far low .

1. Overweight: men who carry extra pounds almost always have elevated aromatase levels, an enzyme that converts testosterone into estrogen. So, any extra fat you are carrying could be causing your testosterone to go down. To correct it all you have got to is lose the weight.

2. Masturbating to internet pornography too often: Too much masturbation and ejaculation reduces a man's testosterone. And those who are into extreme porn are in double trouble because it takes a LOT for them to get aroused in the real world. Men hoping to regain their morning and firm erections may want to refrain from porn and masturbating as often.

3. Use of medication: Some of the drugs used to treat depression, hypertension ,anxiety, diabetes, prostate issues, acid reflux and even painkillers can all have a strong negative impact on your testosterone. So if you not experiencing morning wood and you are under such medication, then it's likely to be the cause.

4. Heavy expose to xeno-estrogens: These endocrine disruptors have been described by scientists as “Environmental Hormones” and their impact on your masculinity, which includes your ability to achieve an erection, can be profound. These chemical compounds can drastically disrupt the testosterone to estrogen balance in your system. Xeno-estrogen are found in most of our cosmetics (check label for ingredients ) which contains butyl paraben, propyl paraben, methyl paraben and ethyl paraben. As a matter of fact, even something as simple as being in the same room with your girl when she paints her fingernails can be enough to take you out for a day or two.



NOTE: If you have concerns about noticeable changes in your morning erections and their frequency, consult your doctor or primary care physician to see if there is a more serious underlying issue. Keep in mind, though, there are a variety of cause and factors that lend their influence to morning erections, especially things like the length and quality of your night sleep. Changes in morning erections, such as a decrease or lack of them, do not necessarily mean there is a serious problem.

#This you experience it today? Well, I actually did

Mind you this isn't about Nairaland men
bashing ladies stuff. It's about letting you know
some things you do to us in bed that annoys us. So
ladies do us a favour and keep this little list in mind
when next you’re getting our rocks off. We love you
already but we’ll love you even more!

1. Playing dead. When you just lie there like dead
body. some women feel that showing up and saying
"yes" is the only contribution needed on their side.
Are you a participant, or just a spectator taking
notes on a man's performance so you can report
back to their girlfriends?

2. Asking a man to go wash his mouth (before you
kiss him) after he has finished performing mouth
action on you is unsexy and can really ruin the
mood. Why shy away from your stuff, If you know
it's safe. It's a turn off. We are not pig that eat dirt.

3. Bad vaginal hygiene. If, as soon as you take off
your underwear, the room smells like a fish market.
It is a big turn off . The smell makes us feel like
vomiting. No guy will have an attention in such
atmosphere. One cause of this foul smell is not
wiping up clean after peeing. some girls do it, and
it's bad. The funny thing is that this women will still
insist you give them mouth action. Guy! Better run
for your dear life.

4. Asking Too Many Questions during sex. Most
women compile all the questions they want to ask
and save it until during sex. That when you hear
them push out all sort of question like : “Do you like
the way I kiss you?” “You like the way I moan?” “What do you want me to do?”. Figure it out yourself and stop interrupting us! We like to focus in our dealings. In fact, If your woman begins to
ask all sought of questions, ask her to go back to
playing dead.

5. Faking orgasm. How can a man improve his
sexual performance if his woman keeps faking orgasm? As long as he thinks she's satisfied, he'll keep doing the same thing, and she'll keep faking. Eventually it will become a vicious cycle. Some women still have the nerve to complain about their men's lovemaking skills. Instead of complaining to their girlfriends, women should make it a habit of letting men know when they're pleasing them and when they're not. Men deserve some credit, our egos are not as fragile as women think. As long as it's constructive criticism, men won't mind if it will improve the lovemaking

6. Too much Cuddling. We get it, it’s nice, but
sometimes you just take it too far. A woman can
cuddle all day long in one position unlike men. 10
minutes a guy have already starts feeling body pains and wants to change his position. Give him some breath.

7. Bringing up issues to discuss immediately after
sex. Sometimes after we’ve had sex we just want to
go to sleep. Please don’t get annoyed when we don’t
want to stay up and talk. That stuff we just pulled out takes a lot of our strength, and all we need is a good rest. So don't feel bad if we sleep off on you.

8. When you go to the toilet to poo with the door
open immediately after sex (first round). Why on
earth do you want us to know you are pooing? It
makes us feel like we hit out the poo .So gross. I bet
you no guy will stand for a second round after that.
It's a turn off.

9. Teasing without giving .Riling us up with the
filthiest of dirty talk and sexy moves beforehand,
only to then tell us (when we starts responding) that
you are on your period. What sought of wickedness
is that ? Before you wake up a sleeping lion, you
ought to be ready for the consequences.

10. When you watch TV over our shoulder when we
are kissing you. We know when you are doing that ,
and it so not cool.

11. Whatever your friends tell you or what you may
read on the internet, you should ask before you try
to slip a finger up a man’s butt. We may not
appreciate it. There are a few men who like it but
trust me, there are plenty more of us who don’t.
Better ask, so you don't get a hot slap.

Ladies! Mind you this isn't about Nairaland men bashing ladies stuff. It's about letting you know some things you do to us in bed that annoys us. So ladies do us a favour and keep this little list in mind when next you’re getting our rocks off. We love you already but we’ll love you even more!

1. Playing dead. When you just lie there like dead body. some women feel that showing up and saying "yes" is the only contribution needed on their side. Are you a participant, or just a spectator taking notes on a man's performance so you can report back to their girlfriends?

2. Asking a man to go wash his mouth (before you kiss him) after he has finished performing mouth action on you is unsexy and can really ruin the mood. Why shy away from your stuff, If you know it's safe. It's a turn off. We are not pig that eat dirt.

3. Bad vaginal hygiene. If, as soon as you take off your underwear, the room smells like a fish market. It is a big turn off . The smell makes us feel like vomiting. No guy will have an attention in such atmosphere. One cause of this foul smell is not wiping up clean after peeing. some girls do it, and it's bad. The funny thing is that this women will still insist you give them mouth action. Guy! Better run for your dear life.

4. Asking Too Many Questions during sex. Most women compile all the questions they want to ask and save it until during sex. That when you hear them push out all sort of question like : “Do you like the way I kiss you?” “You like the way I moan?” “What do you want me to do?”.
Figure it out yourself and stop interrupting us! We like to focus in our dealings. In fact, If your woman begins to
ask all sought of questions, ask her to go back to playing dead.

5. Faking orgasm. How can a man improve his sexual performance if
his woman keeps faking orgasm? As long as he thinks she's satisfied, he'll keep doing the same thing, and she'll keep faking. Eventually it will become a vicious cycle. Some women still have the nerve to complain about their men's lovemaking skills. Instead of complaining to their girlfriends, women should
make it a habit of letting men know when they're pleasing them and when they're not. Men deserve some credit, our egos are not as fragile as women
think. As long as it's constructive criticism, men won't mind if it will improve the lovemaking

6. Too much Cuddling. We get it, it’s nice, but sometimes you just take it too far. A woman can cuddle all day long in one position unlike men. 10 minutes a guy have already starts feeling body pains and wants to change his position. Give him some breath.

7. Bringing up issues to discuss immediately after sex. Sometimes after we’ve had sex we just want to go to sleep. Please don’t get annoyed when we don’t want to stay up and talk. That stuff we just pulled out takes a lot of our strength, and all we need is a good rest. So don't feel bad if we sleep off on you.

8. When you go to the toilet to poo with the door open immediately after sex (first round). Why on earth do you want us to know you are pooing? It makes us feel like we hit out the poo .So gross. I bet you no guy will stand for a second round after that. It's a turn off.

9. Teasing without giving .Riling us up with the filthiest of dirty talk and sexy moves beforehand, only to then tell us (when we starts responding) that you are on your period. What sought of wickedness is that ? Before you wake up a sleeping lion, you ought to be ready for the consequences.

10. When you watch TV over our shoulder when we are kissing you. We know when you are doing that , and it so not cool.

11. Whatever your friends tell you or what you may read on the internet, you should ask before you try to slip a finger up a man’s butt. We may not appreciate
it. There are a few men who like it but
trust me, there are plenty more of us who don’t. Better ask, so you don't get a hot slap.


Complete the rest..

The perpetrator will never go unpunished .. RIP to the dead

So young and beautiful

OP ! Your problem is spiritual .

Justsaying

loomer:
The truth is, his presence reminded u of how him de hit the right spot

Baddest lolz ... Seriously, this is serious matter. Let's be serious.

What nonsense! They should be jail abeg. They can continue their tongue licking inda prison cell for all I care

Stale gist

Volksfuhrer:
SMH at you. Is the man not related to the women? Oh, the women didn't know they were marrying an oba?

I give up! U still have a long way to go

Volksfuhrer:
The man is a Yoruba monarch, not the king of Spain whose wife could go banana over another woman. On top of that the Oba is Muslim. So wetin concern jealousy for this matter!

Read b4 you comment.. I never talked about the oba. I was only referring to the women.