I came across the post of someone here, saying how can you date a girl/boy from a broken home and expect them to be better partners. You don't judge people base on other people's choices it so very wrong. Here is a video that will explain better.
If she jump into a relationship because you feel you love her or him I promise you one thing you will jump out soon feeling it was a mistake. Love is beautiful but there are things to know and learn before embarking on the journey of Love. This video will explain more to you.
When I hear people day there is negative and positive jealousy I get very pissed. Jealousy can breed hate, jealousy can make you want to hurt the other person or hope the fail. There is nothing positive about Jealousy. Learn to talk things over instead of the silence treatment and feeding your jealousy which comes from a place of insecurities. Watch this video and thank me later.
VirtueDigest: It is natural to feel jealous if you are in an intimate relationship and to a certain extent, jealousy in relationships is inevitable. Sometimes, it is okay to feel jealous because it may add a little excitement and zest to the relationship.
Today, more than ever before, people are afraid of being rejected, not accepted, not being loved and worry about losing people they care for. These feelings of loss are natural. Yet, when thoughts of jealousy are extreme, they result in insecurities. But, what do you do when jealousy becomes more frequent and overwhelming?
DON’T PRETEND OR HIDE YOUR FEELING. The feeling of jealousy is not the real problem. The real problem starts when you start acting on that jealousy till it consumes you. You need to understand that your partner lives and interacts with the world around and it contains people of gender that they sexually prefer, but that does not mean they will cheat on you with them. There is a reason you are in an intimate relationship with your partner. Next time you feel jealous, accept the feelings.
BE CALM AND STAY VULNERABLE. George R.R. said, “The more people you love, the weaker you are.” It is not easy to open up your heart to your partner, but you need to accept what is beyond your control and trust yourself to deal with the unknown. Remember, it is a choice to love your partner and you are in a relationship because you made that decision.
EXPRESS YOUR JEALOUSY IN A SOFT WAY. If you feel the ways of your partner are making you jealous, you can express how you feel and talk to them maturely. Let you partner understand that you trust them, but you cannot control your feelings and want them to consider how you feel.
Don't blame this on men. Lack of self love is the reason for all this stuffs. Sometimes it's as a result of insecurities. If you love yourself why will you want to damage your body to satisfy someone else?
So many responsibilities comes with being a man and becoming a married man you can imagine the financial load.This topic has nothing to do with whether you're rich or poor. Some men are scared of commitment, some men are financially not capable yet, you know the bride price, societal pressure on parties and the rest. I will stop here for now.
Zzor: Yes, irresponsible men are the reason why baby mama's are on the rise and sky rocketing. Men please avoid women you have no good intentions for all because of sex, don't have sex with her if you can't marry her. Some women are vulnerable and are easily carried away by sweet mouth, stop putting some ladies in a family way only to abandon them when responsibility sets in as a result of your careless actions. Some of you here are baby daddy's but will rush to condemn and discourage your fellow men against marrying any lady with a child, you insult baby mama's as if they impregnated themselves, some of you go as far as deliberately doing such only to end up telling the lady you are only interested in the child. Remember life is a circle, karma will surely visit when you least expect. To the responsible men out there, please marry that lady with a child or children as the case may be, it's a sign of strength and responsibility on her part, she had options of killing that child but chose to do the right thing. I wanted calling out some names of undercover baby daddy's who always rush to shame baby mama's here, but I reserve that for another day .
We all have our stories but we keep telling ourselves death is not the easy way out. Tell yourself you will make it. Be grateful for the little.
DeathOnTheWay: I have been a Nairaland member since 2010, but I decided to create a new account to hide my id. I am really suffering here, I have not eaten any good food since this week — I only drink some garri and water, my bag of garri is even about to finish, and I don't know what to do. To die is what is hungering me now, I don't know what to do. It is only my phone that is keeping me busy here, we are having Nepa steady and I am only using FreeBasics. I have stopped my online business because I can't afford data. Things are hard here, I am broke, I don't even have enough money to call my own, the only money I have now is 100 naira, I usually buy sugar with my money. The only good that I have here is garri, it's about to finish. My landlord is disturbing me for the six months rent that I am owning, he is saying that he will throw me out if I don't pay him. I am still hoping that things will be okay one day, though it is getting harder everyday. I wish I will just kill myself Instead of dieing from hunger. I don't know if I will ever escape from this struggle.
DebbieBianca: A Malian Woman left in shock after meeting her US based husband-to-be for the first time.
She have not seen her husband to be for the first time, but when she finds out how her husband looks like during their wedding day, she was left in shock.
A lot of guys get rape too. Rape is not a gender base thing. Rape is someone having a carnal knowledge of you without your consent. Check out this link for how to protect yourself against a rapist. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INFld8Yb2eg
MrFlavvor: So yesterday I saw a thread where the OP asked if guys actually get raped in Nigeria and I saw a lot of foolish and ignorant comments about guys wanting to be raped. It made me realize that few people actually take such matters seriouslly in our society today. So I decided to share my story of how in my early years I was victimized by two different ladies older than me at the time.
It started when I was six years old and my parents had just gotten a new house help who came from the city of Calabar. At first when it started it was just a little too much attention paid to my private areas when she was giving me baths. At that age I didn't know what she was doing was wrong but it gradually progressed to her getting naked with me when it was time to have my bath and getting into the tub with me. My parents were both active in the civil service then and were always off to work sometimes as early as six leaving my welfare to her to take care of. One day when my parents were out of town on business and it was just me,my little sister and her she called me into her room, undressed me and asked me to lie down on her bed. She then proceeded to violate me in the vilest of manners in a way that left me feeling dirty even though I couldn't understand why. She then threatened me not to tell my parents and said that this was going to be our new "play" from then on. It continued for a month or so until one day my mom was weaving my kid sisters hair in the dining room and I was playing on the floor. My mom then called her to run an errand for her. While my mom was talking to her, I slipped under her skirt and started fiddling with her privates as she had taught me to do during our "plays". The funny thing was she just stood still allowing me do so in the presence of my horrified mum who threw a comb at my head and proceeded to call for my father. I don't know how the situation was exactly handled but I know that the next day she left our house and I never saw her again.
Fast forward to 5years later. This newly-wed couple moves into our area. The day they moved in I assisted them in helping unload their belongings and ever since that day they became family friends. Now the husband worked on an oil rig in Delta state while we live in Bayelsa so he was only ever home for two weeks out of four in a month. He was a very friendly guy and a kid at heart who loved cartoons and always invited me over to watch a few. One particular month he left and his wife was over at our house and I told my parents I wanted to watch cartoons at their place which mom allowed. I was there till evening but when it was time to go home I started crying about how I didn't want to go home and Aunty said that since it was the holiday period I could sleep over at their place and she'd send me back home in the morning so my mom agreed. I had a field day watching cartoons uninterrupted and eating and by nine I went into her bed room to sleep. I was woken up in the middle of the night by the feeling of something on my body which I discovered to be her hands. She told me I should be quiet and everything was alright but I noticed that she was naked save for a white underwear. She then took my hands and placed them on her breasts and somewhere further south. She used me through the night until she was sated and cuddled me to sleep. The next day she sent me home to my parents who till this day are ignorant of the whole affair. It happened more often through the next year until they moved out of our area. Till this day she and her husband still visit us from time to time with the set of twins they recently had.
These two incidences have shaped my life in ways you can't even begin to think. I became more sexually active over the years as I grew up and I got to enjoy sex but till this day those experiences haunt me. I also found out as I grew up that I have this perverted lust for women at least twenty years older than me and it has led to dalliances with peoples wives and even some of my friends moms who came on to me. I have tried as much as I can to stop but it keeps getting worse. I'm about to attempt therapy for it to see if it helps.
My purpose of sharing this is to let people know that such things do happen and it is important to create awareness about it because it does irrepressible damage to the minds of young children. II don't know if maybe I had spoken up earlier my life would have been different and everytime I see that lady who repeatedly molested me I can't even be able to explain how I feel. My advice to parents out there is to be extremely vigilant over your kids male or female and don't just put trust in people you barely know. I will stop here but feel free to share your experiences below................
Anyiiii: We are in the month of November. I'm still not married. A close female friend of mine will be getting married in December. Two of my close friends got married this year too. I'm feeling depressed right now. Nothing interests me. My decoder is subscribed and I can't watch TV. I have food but I'm not hungry. I have money but I'm not happy. Who says money is happiness? Some men are coming my way but they are not my spec. I'm very beautiful and look so younger than my age. So stop imagining the looks of an old Lady. Why can't I find the man of my dreams? Please you people should pray for me. Is there any good luck herb that you can recommend for me to get my husband? Thanks
Relationship is a journey and when you say this journey you will encounter a lot of things. This is something you all should have known about each other. I equally don't like beer and I wouldn't want to influence some who likes beer not to because of me, I would rather go for someone who doesn't like beer. Don't think can change anyone because of love. Check out the video for more information. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNZHJTPTG7c
Supreme145: So my girl went for a friends wedding yesterday, she was part of the bridal train. While we were chatting later in the evening I jokingly asked her how many guys asked for her number today, she said just one but she didn't give him because she doesn't like the guy I asked her why and she said the guy is short, we laughed over it and continued chatting I asked her how hot the wedding was and she said it was OK that the reception took place in the church premises(she attends methodist), I said so no beer and she said yes just soft drinks, I told her I can't hold my reception inside church o cos there must be enough booze for ma guys. Naim babe say no o, say she no go fit allow alcohol in her wedding but I can take with my friends after the wedding and no playing of worldly songs too,wetin I go come dance naa? She said she will teach me how to dance to Christian songs. Like play like play it was turning to an argument o,funny enough we are not even ready for any wedding cos we still have a year to go in school but I no come dey understand the way she come dey carry wedding matter on top head like gala, any small things na marriage talk, baby we will do this when we get married, if we get married I will do that, not like I don't want to marry her o but my bank account no dey tell me truth at the moment in fact I'm not even sure of any marriage in the next five years. Naso babe take end relationship o,unto say as I insist say I must high beer and dance them davido and wizkid songs for my imaginary wedding. On a serious note I really love her, she's my longest serving girlfriend, I usually break up after dating for some months but I've been with her for 3years now and she's the best I've been with. She doesn't put me under any pressure, she was my saving grace during the lockdown while I was stuck in school but she's 24 and might not wait till I'm ready for marriage, I don't know if this is an opportunity for me to let her be.
I'm going to be doing a video on this topic on my YouTube channel, sex is not the gate way to a relationship and sex doesn't improve intimacy. There are lot of people out there who doesn't dandy sex.
S*x releases stress, boosts immunities, helps you sleep and is heart-healthy. Sex is good whether you're married or not but a lot of people have pushed the narrative that sexx before marriage is bad which I simply disagree.
Here are the reason why I disagree.
1. Sex before marriage is OK because people supposedly can’t control themselves.
Not everyone has the ability to control their sexual urges
We can't really compare those days to what is happening nowadays.
Those day men usually gets married at a younger age compared to now, probably the reason why the narrative of premarital sex worked then. Those days men usually married at the age of 18 while women gets married at the age of 16. At that age, they are still boys and girls and they barely knows what sex is about and are just developing their sexual adventures.
This days men and women gets married at a latter age, some even stay unmarried till the age of 40 because of the economy and other social factors.
How will such a person control his/her sexual urges?
2. S*x can help determine Compatibility.
A lot of marriages this days are hitting the rock because the couple never had the time to check on their sexual compability. Imagine a man that has a high libido and a woman with low libido getting married without having sex prior to their marriage, won't they have issues?
Or a man who has erection dysfunction only for the wife to discover on the wedding night that her husband can't "do the do". What will the woman do?
3. Sex improves intimacy.
I don't know about you but sex definitely improves intimacy in my relationship. Sexx with a dating partner brings you closer to each other.
It gives you the chemical, emotional and psychological bonding you both desire.
So guys, if you can't control your sexual urges before marriage pls have enough sexx.
Don't allow desperation into your heart, don't compare yourself with your friends. It's not about the time you got married but how well it goes. Enjoy a good life and remember while looking for a spec there is no perfect man out there. Love
Anyiiii: We are in the month of November. I'm still not married. A close female friend of mine will be getting married in December. Two of my close friends got married this year too. I'm feeling depressed right now. Nothing interests me. My decoder is subscribed and I can't watch TV. I have food but I'm not hungry. I have money but I'm not happy. Who says money is happiness? Some men are coming my way but they are not my spec. I'm very beautiful and look so younger than my age. So stop imagining the looks of an old Lady. Why can't I find the man of my dreams? Please you people should pray for me. Is there any good luck herb that you can recommend for me to get my husband? Thanks
Not everyone from a broke home becomes a terrible partner. Not everyone from an unhappy home becomes a terrible love. Some people have been shown the road of life just a little love and effort can heal any heart. Don't start off an advice like this. Thank you
SaveMeLord: I have been trying to look for a loop hole in this your story, I found it!, Why will you marry a woman raised by a single mother! who had no father figure during her formative years!
We men no ever dey hear word! Receive advice from these ladies frolicking here as "relationship expert" at your own peril. They will always sabotage you. As a man when you want a woman to marry, look deep into her family, is the family a happy one? is she from a broken home? was there a father figure in her life? Observe her mum? How does she behave? her mother's character? imagine her mother as your wife, will you be able to cop? if you can't then you cant last with the daughter. Because a daughter will carry traits, Ideology and character from her mother.
Now my advice (Alpha advice), your greatest fear has come upon you already (that your son should not be from a broken home) your son is already a victim of broken home already, just accept that fact in your mind.
2.Stop begging a woman to stay in your life, when a woman wants to exit your life, please let her do, begging her will worsen the matter. Sending people to beg her for you and telling her how much you love her is further plunging you in the pit. Even if she agrees and cancel the vow she made by her mother's grave and you end up marrying her, she will never respect you and all you do will never be enough, and her resentment for you will increase until she finally files for a divorce. Is that the kind of person you want to end up with?
3. I know you love your son, but if you really want to get this woman back neglect her and your son, come back and collect your documents, collect your car and stop sending one naira for any upkeep, let her go and work to fend herself and her son. By the time she sees how difficult it is, she'll be the one calling you. Even if she calls don't be in hurry to pick up, let her call severally before you pick up, leave her messages unread for weeks before replying.
4. Stop crying and showing sign of depression that you are sad that she's about to leave you. Behave like you don't care, if you have her on social media good for you...upload pictures of you enjoying your life, smiling and being happy, if possible hangout with more beautiful and slimmer women. If she doesn't come back begging and wailing make I know wetin cause am.
5.When a woman knows you can't do without her or she has something in her possession that you treasure she will use it to manipulate you, it will be her foothold.
FOLLOW THESE AND THANK ME LATER... but if you follow all these ladies advice, I just pity you, some of them are like your baby mama, they will always churn out advice that will favour them!
You're clearly with someone that doesn't have a mind of her own and I'm sorry you have to go through all these because your son. Of she wants a breakup let her go but have a term or you seek legal action to get access to your son but she you do the above talk to her father about your son. You might need to come down here. Some ladies are daily influence by jealous or terrible friends. Act wisely.
Broken2020: I am losing access to my son, all I have worked for is about to crash before me. My baby mama’s friend has dealt a hard blow on my relationship.
Don’t mind my grammatical errors pls
I and my baby had issues last week, only for her to tell me she is not interested anymore, I was shocked because that’s not her, even if I threatened her with a breakup she will tell me I’ll die with you, but this time she said it’s over and she is serious, I have never called anyone into our issues since we have been together but this time I had to tell my younger sister who is married to help me talk to her, she sworn to my sister that she will come back to me only if her mum comes from the grave. My sister called to tell me what she said, my sister advised me to inform my dad since her mind is made up, I don’t want to do that yet.
This girl lacks nothing, am not in Nigeria but I provide everything for her and my son, my son attends one of the best schools in Amuwo Odofin, I bought her a car on her birthday in 2018.
I didn’t sleep all night, I called her around 3AM this morning we spoke till 9AM while talking to her, her friend came to her bedroom telling her to hang up. I asked who was that she said her friend, I asked to talk to her and her friend boldly told me she advised her to quit because I can’t hold her down for that long without even proposing to her, I have been away for 2 years, will I throw a ring to her? They applied for visa twice last year they were denied, I was suppose to visit them this year but I can’t leave here due to the pandemic.
She is a product of a broken marriage so am I, I don’t wish that for my son at all, I have gone to see her dad, her mom is late, she is an only child, I personally took care of her mom till she died, i single handily cover her funeral expenses, including taking care of her aunts and uncles that went for the funeral in delta state since she could not make it to Nigeria at that time.
I met this girl on Facebook in 2014, two months later she joined me abroad. We had my son in 2015 though I wasn’t ready at that time but her mom insisted her daughter won’t abort I told my mom and she insisted I allow her have the baby.
Our wedding was suppose to be in 2017 but because of the disagreement between her dad and her mom’s family my dad insisted I hold on till they are ready. She only met this friend of hers when we got back to Nigeria.
My only crime is I call her too much, I told her she is getting too big, she called it body shaming. I have cried my eyes out.
She refused to go stay in my house in Benin, I pay 750k yearly for their rent in Lagos, their monthly upkeep is 200k, i have never complained till 2 weeks ago when I sent her 120k after two days I wanted her to help me send someone 12k she said she had 10k left, I got mad and told her how much is minimum wage, families still live on it.
Please I need advice, I just look at my son and cry because I know what I went through growing up with my dad and stepmom.
Don't assume she wants to break-up with you just yet, some signs can be misleading. You should talk to her not on phone by see each other and tell her to open up to you and promise to understand and support her decision.
Mrscarter: I think she's maybe flirting with someone else but still wants to come bk to U wen she's finished.
Romance › Coming From A Broken Home Doesn't Make You A Terrible Partner And A Person. by Wittyglam(op): 7:19am On Nov 09, 2020
