₦airaland Forum

Mastersure:
Great Nairalanders,
May the new year be good to everyone here.

Please, i have a problem i need to share with us all here, with the hope of sound counsels on how to manage the situation.

Now the thing is, i am in a serious relationship that is leading to marriage with a lady. But this lady is an ulcer patient. This condition makes her to fall sick almost every week. Stomach upsets and general body weakness, but she still works.
Monies are spent in the hospitals steady and in addition, my plan is after wedding, when we would have been married, i will ensure that those products that eases/relief the ailment like, Milk and Yoghurt together with the normal drugs will always be available at home. (She takes Milk and yoghurt steady for reliefs).

Now my problem is, she falls ill almost all the time, Her younger sister is also an ulcer patient, her mother too is an ulcer patient and her uncle is also a chronic ulcer patient. And these have been given me issues.

True i love her 100% but it will not still be a big deal to end the relationship.

Please, Doctors, Mothers, Fathers and all the experienced and learned people here, Is this a big deal? And how can i handle the issue?

Thanks and God bless you all.

There is always a man for every woman and vise visa, whether you marry her or not, someone will still marry her without minding her condition.

If you are the one with such condition, will you be happy if everyone is rejecting you? If people could marry HIV patient, I wonder your fear about an ulcer. She need proper medical care and avoid the triggers, that is all. Besides, ulcer can be cure with herbs if you follow the due process.

Sirchiboy:
Victor Osimhen reveals that when he made money , HE TOOK ALL HIS DAY ONE FRIENDS to Turkey 🇹🇷. He sponsored everything and got them accommodation and jobs there , today they are doing extremely well too .

Victor didn’t tell them to keep hustling and praying , he simply showed them the way .

Many of you have made it but you can’t even help family . Shame on you

Moral lesson : Stop telling your friends to work harder , just help them
If you can

It all depends on individual involves, and in case of siblings not helping one another, it could be the way they were brought up by their parents. If the parents always preach love, humility and kindness to one another in the family from inception, things like this hardly happened.

As for friends, you need to chose the people you called friends wisely, if you are the generous type, please don't make a selfish stingy person as friend. A smart person should be able to know a friend who can stand by him in times of need withing six months of being friends. Also check yourself well, do you also lend a helping hands to others from the little you have,if the answer is no, then you don't deserves help from others too.

Edusouls:
USA don tire for the war high oil prices in the states Is grinding their citizens, and other nations are crying,midterm is fast approaching, the closure of the straits which Iran controls is a nightmare to USA, 25 billion dollars of Iranian assets would be unfozen, Iran would never give up their enriched uranium or ballistic missile program, its just a matter of time blockade of the Hormuz would happen again, I don clear for una eyes say Iran no be walk over, they gave America serious bloody nose and nearly strangled isreal, make trump try any rubbish again make I see…

It was a tactical war played by USA, Iran is no match to Isreal, let alone mighty US. America avoided ascalation as much as they could, reason you think Iran has a chance. If US were to make a direct attack on them, it might turn to another world war as some countries will join them in the war.

If you play chess game, you will understand that Iran has been defeated long ago. Regime change that will finally turn Iran to liberal state they once were is around the corner.

ChizzyBuna:
There is a POS babe I have been toasting for 1 week. This morning I was in her shop toasting her when Taskforce people came and grab her POS signpost and seized it
Me personally didn't stand up only her stood up and confront them. They ended up tearing and destroying the signpost and I was just there sitting and did nothing.

Now I'm thinking if I should have acted and try restrain taskforce since I'm the guy toasting her to prove my masculinity
Or
Did I do the right thing. Buy sitting down and just watching them wreck her sign post

P.S
Her offence was that the post was on the road but it didn't look like it . Anyways did I do right or wrong by not reacting and staying calm

P.S again

See these white knights telling me to man up to 10 taskforce agberos only me??
If na one on one I'm capable but me against 10 hefty agberos. You dey craze??
This is a babe that told me she has a BF/fiance so me dey try play side nigga role chop and clean mouth. I no come this life to die for any banny

A smart guy would've used the opportunity to finally win her over. Not that you will start fighting them, all you need to do is to appease them, they will understand you better than the poor girl. If she is sensible enough, she will turn down your advance because you don't seem to have an instinct to defend vulnerable people around you.

grandstar:
I am thinking of going into farming.

How much would it cost to build a mud fence for a 10,000 sqm of land which is a hectare of farm land

I am trying to cut costs. I will use cement to plaster the walls eventually. Using cement bricks for fencing would be too expensive.

Lolz, don't waste your money, mud blocks cannot sustain heavy rain for 3 years. To fence an hectre of land with cement blocks, you will still need a lot of strong concrete pillars for demarcation, not to talk of clay blocks. It can only be use to build houses and not fence.

gidgiddy:
Don't hope on Tinubu to restructure Nigeria, he will never do it. The simple reason to know that Tinubu has no intentions of restructuring Nigeria is that if he did not do it in his first term, or at least start the process in his first term, he won't do it in his second term

Anyone who is serious about restructuring Nigeria will not wait for second term to do it

Tax reform

State police

Decentralization of power generation.

Decentralization of NDA and barracks.

Decentralization of CBN

Development commissions for each zone.

Coaster networks roads to link the regions.

Local government autonomy

Are all antecedents of true federalism. I think he stopped because of the way Northerners reacted to tax reform, which could jeopardize his second term ambition.

WizardOfNG:
My point is simple. ND region suffer the brunt of oil exploration and commercial extraction that has negatives for oil-rich communities.

They should receive more to deal with how their communities have become Nigeria's transactional asset.

Also, it is condemnable a nation claiming to host many brilliant and educated people is focused mainly on oil and gas when we have so much to utilise becoming rich and privileged.

Blame the Niger delta leaders who has for ages been embezzled what meant for the development of the region. 13% derivative is more than monthly alocation of many states, yet you keep crying that you don't benefit more from the oil exploitation in your region.

Regionalism is better because it will make your leaders to look inward and develop their cities. And contrary to your believe, only an inland oil facilities can be awarded 100% to the producing states, offshore oils are federal government property, which can be used as intervention fund, foreign affair and national armies.

Haydens:
Remove rigging, Tinubu can not even match Obi's footstep.

He is a master rigger so don't even x-ray him with obi.

If you go out to vote in elections days or have experience about Nigeria politics, you would've understand that as bad as APC is, they don't need to rig to win 2027 presidential election. Their structure is too massive compare to 2023, all they need to do is to mobilize party members and key players to share money to voters on election day. People don't vote or work for political party base on performances, they do so as a result of what they could gain from them. For instance, if you are one of the ward leaders and you has been promise a Keke worth about 4m or Camry 8m, won't you mobilize all your families, friends, neighbor's and associates to win your ward? That is how structure works.

Atiku/Obi ticket would've be a strong opponent to remove APC but personal greed for power dismantled their structure.

AdisGlobal01:
SHE_NEEDS_YOUR_ADVICE

My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé's father passed away unexpectedly in November.

His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.

I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.

Then his mother called.

She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband's funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.

When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:

"If it were your own father, wouldn't you find a way to attend?"

I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.

That was when he dropped the bombshell:

"No presence. No wedding."

I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.

I was wrong.

The wedding was officially cancelled.

My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.

It broke me, but I did.

Months passed.

Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.

What he said left me speechless.

According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a "real wife" would have kept begging until she was accepted.

Then he announced that he had "forgiven" me.

Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.

As if the breakup had never happened.

As if my feelings didn't matter.

As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.

Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.

His response shocked me even more.

He said:

"I'm not done. You don't have the right to be done."

I blocked his number immediately.

But that wasn't the end.

A few days later, he appeared at my father's house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.

My father told him clearly:

"My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available."

Still, he refused to accept it.

Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.

Now I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?

What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.

I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.

My question is:

If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to "forgive" you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love... or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Perhaps you didn't explain the situation to your employers very well because I don't see any reason they will denied you of attending such sensitive occasions like your dear fiance father burial. The father of the person you had fixed date of wedding with? The father of the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with? You ought to have treated it as if it was your own father.

Well, maybe you are just one unserious girl in the office they don't expect to have a serious guy to marry. Even at that, you could have just given your boss some excuses.

My takes; if you truly wants to attend, you will surely do so regardless of your office rules. Just learn from this and move on with your life.

No

idahme:
Instead of you to own a building own a business what do I mean. If you have 20million, don't go buy a land and start building rather take a chunk of it and start up a business and the grow it. As long as your business is growing you can conveniently pay your rent and subsequently use the interest generated from the business to build.

You are only building for yourself to enjoy a complete aesthetics in your home and not because you want to keep it for someone. Rather than keeping a house for the next generation, keep a business that could maintain and keep your next generation.

Business can failed but your land and housing investment cannot fail. I used to think this way before but later realize that a house you built is also an asset that could generate money, and still save you millions that could be spent on rents. A house you built with 20m at a good location can still be sold at 50m or more in few years. Also, you can obtain a good loan to improve your business using your house as a collateral.

With my experience and many more I have leant from people, I will advise a young man with 20m to build small bungalow first with 15m and use the rest for business. By the time you must have been very sure of your business or knows all the basics to Excel, you can use your house to obtain loan amd easily expand. The most hardest challenges that a lot of married men are facing today is to combine house rent with family expenses and children school fees.

ukfootwear:
I don’t believe there’s any inheritance in habit , do you know why ? Because there are some attitudes or let’s say character you thought you inherited until someone tamper with your space , you thought you inherited calmness until you’re frustrated and you broke a bottle to fight back and your father never did that. Character is inbuilt , that’s what you are even if you pretend someday it will reveal itself

You are 100% wrong, I am so pragmatic to the core but you see these inheritance trait or character is very real. The mind of a child is plain, noil and void, but these innate traits or character influence a child approach or encounter to the outside world.

There are some traits or character you copied from your parents by carrying their DNA. Taking your example as a case studies, every human can fight back but there are some people that can never break a bottle no matter how bad you offended them.

My little boy has inherited a trait from me that is so astonished to me too, and nobody thought him that.

Majority of them don't realize because they roll with rich men kids as well.

The ones that found themselves among the poor children became more arrogant by their non chalant attitudes.

Smart guys, these two matches could obviously influence their market values. If they perform poorly, big clubs may have a rethink but if they don't play any match before transfer window closed, clubs will only judge them by last season performances.

Politics is not a do or die affair, that you are not on the same page should not make somene your enemy. There should be freedom of choice and opinion from everyone.

What if the person you think will perform better get there and everything turn upside down. How will you confrong the person you had made your enemy because of that?

Everyone is suffering from Tinubu policies including insecurity but let not make enemy with one another because of that. Let allow people to make their choices withiout any form of intimidation.

Adblg0610:
Before Tinubu became our President
:
1. 2 Nigerian former military generals and Heads of State, later ruled as civilian Presidents for a total of 16 years, without solving insecurity.
2. During GEJ’s Administration, Nigerian troops fled the battlefield in droves, due to lack of sophisticated weapons to fight.
3. During that period, insurgents had conquered and hoisted their flags in 17 local governments in Borno, Yobe and Adamawa states. They had even extended the battle to Abuja.
But now, American troops have been around for about 3 months. Tinubu has fortified the military, made Christians to head the Ministry of Defence and the military, to ensure transparency, because it was thought that the Muslims were treating them with kid gloves. When insecurity initially started, Atiku was too busy with privatization to mind it’s consequences.

With the way banditry has been turned to a big business in Northern Nigeria, no president can solve the issue as long as he depends on Nigeria Military or police. And how many thousands of machinery fighters you want ti hire from outside to defeat those riff raff blood sucking demons in the northern desert.

Only North and its leaders can solve this problem, divide the country into regions and let each zone take care of its security. North will not fold their arms and allow these criminal elements to ruin their region while their neighbors are fastly progressing. You see those young amajiris they dont want to educate, by the time they have no one to blame again for their woes, no one will teach them to train them.

Banditry in Nigeria has come to stay, you can defeat terrorism but not banditry that those who are meant to defeat them are part of it for business.

Goo0dHardDick:
Madness

Not madness, for every action, there is always reaction. We don't live with them, and I am very sure op too will have some shortcomings he won't tell us here in his narrative. Women became wise as they aged, as long as a woman doesn't sleep around, you can definitely manage her if you are smart enough.

Every woman on earth are intolerable especially if you are looking for perfection from them. The most viable way wise men used to address such situation is to become less available at home.

Ameduedwin:
Good afternoon house, I will like to be brief here.

I am about to take my wife home to her parents even though her both parents are dead, I married this lady 2019 with two kids, fast forward to 2020, immediately this lady delivered her first child, she changed, started misbehaving, talking back at me, with insult, nagging and all sort of aggressiveness towards me.

I call some few members of my family to come and talk to her, after talking it didn't yield useful result, in many case, this girl doesn't want me to touch her sexually, I have to manage her like that for seven years now, but now I have fed up with her character and I have decided to take her home to her parents house.

As of now nobody in her mother's room now, the room is under lock and key, and only their step mother that is in the compound for now.

My worries is my children, am I not exposing them to some danger of any kind? As for my wife she doesn't fill remorse at all, she have already started preparing her belongings to travel maybe because she knew my children are so glue to me, she thinks I can't send them home.

What did you advice me to do in this case. Thanks you all..

Please tolerate her a little more as long as she doesn't cheat on you.

Be less available at home, try to ignore her sometime. Just focus on yourself and the children, she will soon come back to her sense as she aged. And if you must date another girl, let it be casual and not make it to be obvious to her.

PDPdestroyer:
Lol. Do you need further evidence that those politicians in the opposition will do much worse than those in the ruling party? Just tell me one single thing these people have gotten right since they formed this coalition

No man born in a woman can fix Nigeria with this present arrangements. Anyone promise to fix Nigeria is only being sweet talk to gain power he/she can subsequently misused.

Until we go back to regionalism or a system that will allow elemination of states and give focus on central and 774 local government, we will keep taking those who just want to add president to their names as solutions.

States government are the major problems of Nigeria, this is where our resources are being recklessly threw into the ocean by semi illiterate or unqualified touts called themselves governors. If not madness, how do we even expect real development when local governments are not truly functioning in the country. We are all the same, and we behave like a cursed humans.

helinues:
Who invited the people killing you? during the herdsmen crisis when Buhari was the president, the question those who are just accusing anyhow didn't bother to ask is, whose cows are the herders protecting?

God bless you, I wrote about this on Nairaland some years ago. These dangerous herdsmen are only working for politicians, elites and some ordinary Nigerians. They don't own cows, they are only being giving shares or salaries. Majority of cows you see in southern Nigeria are owned by southerners. There was this professor back then who owns about 150 cows and employed Fulani boys to monitor them in the bush. I got to know this when his cow destroyed our plaintain farm, we were told that the owner is one of powerful professor at the senate, that even if we report the issue to the university authority, they will likely not do anything. That was how we lost over 3 acres of plantain farm as a young graduate that time.

Fast forward to around 2014, the incident of cattle rustles were rampant, and these investors bought sophisticated guns for these herders to protect their cows from cattle rustlers. I can boldly say that herders I knew since when I was young were mostly Fulani walking around with just stick and Cutlers to direct their cows.

These herders subsequently took advantage of these weapons and started raping women in the farm, until they graduated into kidnapping for ransome.

Just like you, I don't support independent security force establish by individual or group of people. Igboho should be directed to join already functioning state backing Amotekun and take the leadership role. He can be easily trial or remove that way should he start taking advantage giving to him for different purpose. We need local security force stronger than Amotekun in south west, we also need a great worrior like Igboho to lead the course, but we must be very careful giving such power to individual whose large numbers of people are directly answerable to.

Anuoluwa12345:
Good evening, pls I need help on something
I don't even know how to put it well, but I will try my best to explain a little..and I seek sincere advice from matured and experienced ppl on the forum.

I am a type that when I love ppl, I love them wholeheartedly..to the extent that I will give in all my best to them.. be it family members or non. When I tell you I gat your back, then I truly mean it. But the problem now is, when these ppl hurt me. I don't know how to handle it, I don't even know if I will call it unforgiving spirit or maybe cause I remember things alot, I will surely not forget.

It's not as if I won't forgive them o, I will but, to make that relationship between me and that person smooth back.. it's not possible.. the distance will always be there.. tho before I get angry or pick offence it takes long, but once it happens like this! I know I have lost relationship with that soul.

Some of my relatives (extended fam) offended me, and since about 3 yrs now, these ppl have been sending different ppl just to beg me and talk to me etc.. in order to make things back, but it's just not working!. Cuz I know myself.

And I am a type that, once I vex, I don't look back..even if the person has done a lot of things etc.. I have tried my best but it's just not working. And I understand the fact that there is no how there won't be argument among humans, it's not possible.

My greatest fear now is, what if I marry, is this how It will be towards my husband, someone I claim I love? Pls how do I tackle this problem before I reach that stage, pls I need sincere word of wisdom from elders, else why I come to a faceless forum to pour out my mind.

You will definitely stopped, marriage do humble women, and you won't be different from those that are there before you. When you start having kids, your goal and priority in marriage will change, and love might not even part of them. Besides, the more you get matured, the more your desires for peaceful home.

ednut1:
Children are not always blessings afterall

They were, just that this one failed to train his.

ZaddyJ:

This Bayern president mean oo.

He is only joking, if Madrid want him, they will get him. If they refuse to sell, they will manipulate the player or his agent and he would force an exit.

May be you are the type thet buys baby food 20k twice per week, unnecessary weekly shopping, use 50k to cook soup, use 150k for power units to enjoy 24/7 AC and other wastefulness at home. Sometimes, those who are clubbing or carrying women are even spending wisely than some men who don't

How can you be earning 1m naira per month and still be complaining with a family of 3. You better cut your expenses now before it too late for you.

ednut1:
Rubbish talk. No one flashes abroad as the calls are unlimited and most people used post paid plans

You can never tell, you can flash someone for different reasons. It is not always about not having a call card, sometimes you flash to remind someone about something.

B

ElevationD:
I do not think so. Fubara knows that his hands are tied.

If he decamps, the house of assembly will find the excuse to impeach him finally. His continued stay is simply premised on the fact that he needs to protect his chances for a possible future attempt at returning to the seat.

I think APC moved too fast with the primaries. With the court ruling of yesterday, other parties have more time to secure more members and conduct their own primaries, particularly NDC and ADC, who need to get more national spread.

Fubara has the choice to run on the platform of another party, particularly NDC, which seems to have started gaining momentum in Rivers state. I do not foresee that happening. However, his name is already on the campaign council list of APC and I believe that in agreeing to step down for the APC candidate, he must have received some assurances from BAT.

The judgement could be a bate use by the same APC to score another political points. What if after the primary, they appeal the judgement and it is reverse? Imagine the number of people who think they have found another platform that will be affected. A smart politician will stay where he is and lobby for appointment.

All Nigeria politicians are the same, I wonder what people jubilate about the people that have stolen away their future. It irritate me the way nairalanders fought to defend these useless animals that are only after their selfish interests.

Every presidential appearant always have good manifesto, to implement it is the major problem.

Nigeria can only be better under true federalism where each region will tailor the affair of their people withiout any external influence.

osuofia2:
Fatty liver or hepatitis, all leads to cirrhosis of the liver.
Lime and lemon all have anti inflammatory oxidant.
Use it early In the morning with tea before breakfast

The combination of lemon, ginger, garlic in warm water before breakfast do the wonder.

I think Tottenham deserves to go down,they are just useless team playing with no serious passion.

West Ham will surely beat Leed, and I doubt this poor team can make even a draw against Everton.

What I passed through in the hands of FCMB and Access bank were too much to explain on social media.

But now that i longer get big money to keep with any of them again, na to stick with my Opay and Palmpay remain.