₦airaland Forum

Mistake 1: Trying To
Change Your Partner
"If they love me enough, they'll change to please
me." So many believe that they can and will
change their partner. It's only a matter of time.
They say, "If he loves me enough, he'll change
that small thing to please me." But to your
partner, that "small thing" isn't so small. Even if
they do try to change to please you, very often
they become resentful. "You don't love me for
myself, but for the person you want me to be,"
they say. And it's true. When you try to change
them they feel you don't really love them. You
just want to turn them into someone to fill your
needs.
Mistake 2: Feeling Like You're A Failure In
Relationships
When some people see that things aren't
working they become depressed. They start to
feel as though they're not loveable, that destiny
is against them or that they will always be a
failure in love. The truth is that you're not a
failure. You simple have not yet been taught
important truths about relationships. Once you
learn and practice new ideas and methods, you'll
be able to handle your life in a way you may
have never thought possible.
Mistake 3: Believing You Have To Be "Good
Enough" To Keep Their Love
Many feel they're not "good enough". They feel
they have to turn into a pretzel to keep
someone's love. Recently a woman came to me
and said, "I finally found a wonderful man but
I'm miserable in the relationship. Everyday I
worry that he'll find out who I really am and
leave." This woman not only expected rejection,
she actually did little things to bring it about.
Soon she began to sabotage the relationship,
finding fault with him at every turn. Although
she didn't realize it, she did this to feel better
about herself. The truth is we can never earn
another person's love. The more we try the
worse we feel. We must simply understand that
who we truly are is entirely loveable. We must
learn to make friends with ourselves.
Mistake 4: Rejecting Your Partner So They
Can't Do It First
Many reject their partners as protection
individuals against being rejected themselves.
The bottom line is these may not feel they
deserve a relationship, they feel they can't hold
onto a partner because they haven't accepted
themselves.
Mistake 5: Believing Your Partner Should
Read Your Mind, And Know What You Want
Without Your "Communicating" Clearly
"If he/she really loved me, they'd know what I
needed and give it to me." Many believe that if
their partners really loved them, they would read
their minds. It wouldn't be necessary to have to
actually ask for what they wanted. This is one of
the most serious mistakes people make in
relationships. Without truthful, open,
communication no relationship can flourish.
Effective communication, however, can be a
skill. And though you may feel that you have
repeated yourself a thousand times, that YOU
HAVE communicated. There are available
communication techniques which, in and of
themselves, can save your relationship. Not only
is it necessary to know what you want, and to
ask for it clearly (without producing guilt) -- it is
also necessary to be able to accept both yes and
no.
Mistake 6: Believing It's Your Partner's Job
To Make You Happy
Your partner is not there to meet all your needs.
If he/she says no, it doesn't mean he/she doesn't
love you. Some demands may be impossible to
fulfill. It is not your partner's job to make you
happy. Your partner should be here to grow and
share with you.You must learn to make yourself
happy, and make others happy as well. Love is
based upon communicating, consideration and
giving. First, however, you must be happy with
yourself, before another can make you happy.
Mistake 7: Believing It's Hard To Get Him To
Talk
"No matter what I do I can't get him to talk, and
I do not believe he is sharing all of his honest
feelings with me." Many women claim they can't
get men to talk. When time comes for intimate
conversation guys clam up, offer a few grunts
and expect women to magically understand
what's going on. Women feel shut out and men
feel misunderstood. However, there is something
women don't realize. Men want to talk. Under
the right conditions, they'll talk all night long.
Men desperately want to let others know what's
going on. However, something else many don't
realize is, men are more fragile than women. In
order for them to talk, things have to be right.
All that's needed here is to learn how to create
the right conditions, what is necessary for a man
to feel safe enough with you to talk.
Mistake 8: Being Addicted To Fighting
Many couples keep relationships alive and
exciting by fighting. When they see their partner
upset, it reassures them that they care. Others
have seen their parents fighting and this is the
only role model they have. Some are addicted to
the "high" they get out of fighting. A few crave
the feeling of domination or control. Domination
is not love. If it hurts, it is abuse, not love.

#team YC let me hear you say ,hoohah! waiting for temigracie.

Good day ladies and gentle men, fellow debater , members of the high table , chairman , moderator and audience. Ma name is Yc zhah jiggernoid speaking for the motion which says " couples should have their own separate rooms." I wanna speak on just 2 points which are privacy and bad habits
•
•
Privacy »
What is privacy!? Privacy is the state of being alone and not disturbed by another person. You see there are ups and downs in a relationship which some of the misunderstandings need just silence and privacy to settle it. Imagine a case where a man returns from work tired and exhausted the next thing is for the wife to welcome him with unnecessary talks and sometimes even nags. In a situation like this, the guy will just need sometime to be alone and relax from the days stress so he'll just walk into his ROOM and lock the door and dayum he's free! . Another scenario is when the husband possesses some valuable like cash or gold and he doesn't want the woman to know about it, he'll just hide it in his room and lock it up. The main reason for this point is this ; women seems to be curious and restless when the husband makes call or work on their personal pcs, so they'll try to hack and see the husband's messages and social network accounts just to be sure that he's not cheating, per eventually they find messages like" thanks much dear" from a female worker, they'll let hell loose in that house that day without seeking for any explanation, this can be avoided if the husband has his own personal room which he locks anytime he's not around!

BAD HABITS
There is no guarantee that the husband or wife does not have any skeleton in their cupboards. Either of them might be a chain smoker, drug addict, porn addict and so on. When they have their own separate rooms , they will do these things with ease and convenience and carefully clean up the place leaving no trace of what they did because the husband or wife might be against such acts. Another reason is that some people in this world just choose to be dirty pigs! Not everyone can stand the sight of dirty under wears and linens hanging around all over the place so if they have their separate rooms , such dirts would be limited to that room alone!

So with these two points of mine, hope I've been able to tell why couples should have their own rooms, thanks!
#drops_mic and audience claps#

M currently on the red bar, I'll type when I charge

Introduction : Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the official thread for the debate between two NL scholars from this wonderful section. it started as a simple argument between the both of them before they decided to get the public involved and do justice to the motion which says "COUPLES SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN SEPARATE ROOMS" . •. •THE DEBATERS»». TEMIGRACIE » she's against the motion. •YUNGCHOP » he's for the motion. •. •. •. On the high table we have ; kachisbarbie , priscaoge , rokiatu , missmossy , rozzay , tosyne2much , marvellousGod , superstar007 , sameer1212 and Djeezy. •. • Our Honorable mod » Farano . And chairman of the occasion Oga Seun . •. •. • The winner will be the scholar with the highest number of likes, thanks.

onila: you havent violated the rules


the forum is just too busy

sure? But let the owner come and explain jare

Seun please your attention is needed urgently sir, for the past 12 hours now I've not been able to create topics on NL and I didn't violate any of the rules. It keeps saying "please wait for a few minutes before submitting this post" immediately I click the create a new topic button. If I have violated any law please let me know thanks.

temigracie: Yeah, I ll love that....

Dont you think it's gonna affect their sex-life??....Apart from that, what are the things you think should still be private??....For example, my husband sleeps with me on the same bed....Whenever I feel like doing the real koko, I can reach out and do silly things to him....

But if his room is next door, and i feel like doing it....DOnt you think am gonna have second thought??...That maybe he might turn me down...

I'll address your points one after the other. . The debate will hold 2mao, be fully prepared I'll mention you to the thread. Then after that we'll beg the mod to take it to front page then the person with the highest number of likes win agreed?

temigracie: Privacy!!....In marriage??....Do we actually need to hide things from each other??...

Whats so private that we cant let each other know about??...

If we sleep in different rooms...There is evry possibility we'l be drifting apart little by little...Theres every possibility we wont discuss issues together like before...There is every possibility we become sex-starved and start cheating...

Why should we be sleeping in different roooms??...Are we strangers to each other??...We are married....so, we must sleep together.....

how do you become sex starved?? Can't you walk to his room? . And no matter the closeness of the couples there are still things that needs to be private! Should we have a debate??

Oluwa the God that made someone to where a whole house in lekki on his feet . . . . Please Bless Me and make me use that same amount to do my haircut!!

It tastes like oats without sugar. . . Don't ask me how I knew

Male : AbdeL Akbar bin AbdeLLah. Female : Shifao whitney AbDeLLah

temigracie: I honestly dont like the idea....I wont accept it...

He is gonna be my personal warm pillow and cushion....How are we gonna do the do??...When konji catches anyone, are we gonna start doing hide and seek or begging for attention??....

Hian!!....We ll sleep on the same bed ni ooo....Roll on each other....cuddle....hold each other in different sleeping styles...Then fire on whenever mother nature starts pressing those buttons...

NO! You see, even as husband and wife, you still need privacy!! Like me now, me and my wife can't stay in the same room! I just need to be alone sometimes, when conji comes knocking you can go and meet your husband to render you his services and leave after the project vice versa

This shoes!!

Edit that nonsense post jor. . . See gbagaun abeg, well I'll call ma mom ma HeaRT! #rip_Tinuke

Edit that nonsense post jor. . . See gbagaun abeg, well I'll call ma mom ma HeaRT!

Nah

Friendzone? Its inescapable

naijaboiy: I just shared your post...

I hope i'm not crushing on you

ogbeni the mentions are gerrin too much can you type her moniker?

Superstar007: add yours

mine here . . . • Boy sees girl with a new pair of shoes ; Baby so you can buy new shoe and I've not done my bb subs? That means you won't be there for me during broke times . . . Its over! •girl: baby guess what?? Boy: as old as I am you can still call me a baby?? . . . Its over! •boys flashes the babe with a hidden number ; boy : didn't you see my miss call? Girl: its an hidden number I saw o so "I can't call back" boy : ehn ehn? You're too big to call back abi?? Upon the fact that am the one that bought you credit . . . Its over!

Op shey its fish you want to catch abi? I can borrow you ma fishing rod and spear for just #750 MTN airtime

Omg so 4king funny

marieolae: Abegii!

why is it "paining" you? Are you a stripper?

1) Ladies can become happy simply
by having a cup of warm
coffee or because of buying
a new strawberry lip gloss…and
a bar of chocolate plus a
romantic movie DVD can fix
even their toughest day.
2) They don’t have a rick of
pinching something while
closing a zipper.
3) They don’t need to shave every
day.
4) They can exchange dresses,
hug and, even, sleep in one bed
with their girl friends, without
being called that offensive word.
5) Ladies are able to have
multiple orgasms. Yay!
6) They can get rid of stress,
simply, by sinking in a warm
bath with rose petals, while
men, often, need a box of beer.
7) In public restrooms they have
separate cabins and, often,
cleaner environment.
They can talk with mom on the
phone for two hours without
being called “mommy’s
daughter”.
9) If they are ever in a bad mood,
They can easily refer to a
premenstrual or post menstrual
syndrome.
10) Inviting a guy to a date is
not included in their list of
responsibilities, but if they ever
do this, they will be considered as
self-sufficient.
11) Their honor will stay spotless,
even, if they weren’t able to repair
Their broken fridge or stick a shelf
on the wall.
12) When they want they can easily
become 10 centimeters taller,
simply, by putting on high
heels.
13) They can fully use the power
of makeup to boost their self
confidence and self-esteem.
14) Only ladies can fully experience
the pleasure of wearing
beautiful, lace lingerie.
15) Gentlemen open all doors in
front of ladies and give them flowers,
to make them feel special. Amazing right?

1. Don’t use a credit card at a strip club.
Ever.
Regardless of your situation in life – you don’t
want anything traceable back to some seedy
gentlemen’s club.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that you should never
use credit cards in a strip club, yet so many
suckers do it. And more than one man at some
time in his life has been caught by this paper
trail. Not to mention, there’s the huge possibility
that you’ll end up spending more than you ever,
ever should. Use cash.
If the bartender says you need a credit card to
open a tab, make sure you tell her that you’ll be
settling in cash. There are so many reasons we
don’t need to go into them all here. Not the least,
what are you going to do with $300 dollars worth
of “Fanny Cash” when you leave?
That’s the unused play money they make you
buy. It only makes you need to come back again
to spend it.
2. Don’t concentrate on just one stripper.
This is one of the most common mistakes you see
guys make in a club. When you get all caught up
in one girl you lose all your leverage. You need to
have “options” – like in the art of the deal.
Any businessman tell you that the key to success
is to have multiple deals cooking at once. That’s
Leverage and strip clubs are no different.
3. Avoid long, drawn-out conversations.
Remember, these chicks are hustlers. They are
going to come at you with the “sob story” of how
they are trapped here, paying their way through
college, yadda yadda…and the longer you get
caught up in this shit the more chance they have
to weave their magic spell on you.
More than one man has fallen prey to “white
knight” syndrome. And it puts you in total
“customer” mode – which means she is in
working mode. She has her set gambits and plan
of attack – and the longer you let her get into it,
the more you are seen as a target and not a
boyfriend. This puts you at an extreme
disadvantage.
4. Try not to call the place you are in a
“strip club” or the girl a “stripper”.
5. Don’t dress like a schmuck.
No business suits, no hippie dirtbag clothes. You
need to make a statement. Show some flash.
Most men dress like douchebags these days.
Remember – every guy that walks in is the same
to her – a customer. You want to be different.
6. Not bringing enough cash.
You need to have some on hand. You don’t have
to spend it all – and we’ll talk about the right and
wrong ways to do that.
7. Don't flash cash the wrong way.
Spreading cash around the wrong way is acting
like you are concerned about how much or how
little you spend. Don’t be cheap - and don’t act
like you care. Get your stripper a bottled water
when they get off stage. They are busting
their ass.
9. Don’t act like all the other customer
dorks.
And remember it’s a strip club - you didn’t sign a
contract when you walked in so you don’t have to
to tell the truth. Her real name isn’t Jewel or
whatever the hell she tells you it is – so you don’t
have to use your real name either.
It’s a great time to reinvent yourself – it’s all
about escapism. It’s best not to let her know your
name, or what you actually do for a living. Lie
your ass off. Afterall, she is.
10. You purchase exactly no dances.
Trust us on this. You buy dances, you don’t sleep
with strippers.
11. Don’t go with a big group of guys.
Nothing says “mark” more than rolling to a strip
club in a big group.
12. If we had to pick one mistake that is a
“deal killer,” it’s not coming with the
proper style
Style of dress, attitude, and simply not acting like
a regular guy. This is also a good lesson for life:
Never act like regular guy.
13.Never be the White Knight
This probably the worst situation - when you hear
a guy trying to “white knight” with a stripper,
trying to get her out of “the life.”
Holy shit will she take you to the cleaners. It’s
amazing how many men fall for this – and think
they are “in love”. It’s akin to being in the friend
zone with a woman – where you do everything for
her and hang out with her, and never even get a
kiss.
Only this is much more expensive and
devastating. She will be sleeping with someone
else, and you’ll be paying for the apartment
they’re doing it in.
14. Never ask silly questions Another big mistake is asking her all
kinds of questions about what it’s like to be
a stripper.
This is the kiss of death – because you are
demonstrating that you don’t know what it’s like
to date a stripper – and your “resume” now says
customer, mark and dork – not boyfriend.
15. Ask her out!

Kachisbarbie: Sharers: they share every post, preferably that of a follower/e-crush. Then I read the post and wonder if I was supposed to find it
intelligent/sarcastic/funny...

Anti-se.uns : These ones don't just like my guy. They jump on threads that are aimed @ attacking his person.

Tribalist bigots : they are my worst set, they turn everything to an Oduduwa/Biafra warfare.

Political fanatics: They don't use eye to see any political thread, when they don't see a political thread, they have a way of even steering a romance thread to politics.

E-Famzers : aww, they are the online family...you just can't wait to be associated with one or all. I don't need to over-emphasise their importance. They can sometimes lead you to front page topics, faster than the NL app. I gat me an e-family

Woman-wrappers Their interest is channelled @ Nlers with (f). They tag/mention/like/support every motion that is feminine. They have a way around the female folks... I think they make NL fun in their unique way.
-kelvinGraphics (this dude should be a VC in an Institute of Woman-wrappering by now )
-Unibenstudent (a Registrar...guy where have you been?)
-yungchop (my guy...lol, I think by now he should be a HOD in a department(Romance) in the Institute of Woman-wrappering)

Albert Einstein(s) This set make you wanna upgrade your IQ. They can turn a very dumb thread to an intellectual one. All their comments are enlightening, as much as I like them, I sometimes find them too serious.

Brb...

hehehe. I don't know why you don't want to believe a nigga , I told you I have change joreh ! the last time I mentioned a lady in my post was 2weeks ago. priscaoge can bear me witness

ulster: i think the independence of scotland will present a lot opportunities like you rightly mentioned....the other thing that amazes me is how easy and simple its for people to go their separate ways. Maybe we can try same in Nigeria....if scotland succeeds.......i dey laugh oh!!!!

yes o!

jnrbayano: It's okay.

Kindly work on the bold. I did achieve great success working on mine.

cool . . .thanks.

jnrbayano: Is the emboldened what my post above suggested?

I will let it slide..

Have a nice day.

asin bro, I get annoyed easily, please accept ma apology.