₦airaland Forum

[quote author=£&nairato&froUK]dis is a big problem in the nigerian community,

i know women are more rebelious abroad but US is becoming the wife murdering capital

God help us[/quote]I agree.

It's very disturbing!

caseless: 'if u are in rome, then, act like the romans'

it is not even always about emulating ameicans, but africans, nigeria/nigerians to be specific, have overtaken america/americans in some of the so called 'american culture' if u look at the cases of human right violations which are common in nigeria. For example, are there;
1. Baby factories in the u.s?
2. Again, are there hideouts in the u.s where children under 12 yr undergo apprenticeship in prostitution?

3. Are children below 14 travelling to europe like africans(nigerians) do to italy through niger republic and libya? Even as environment contribute to how africans behave over there, we must not also forget that Our problem is inherent. No blame oyibo dem for everything...we get our own wahala too

Why do YOU think such things are happening?

coogar: it's because africans in diaspora are losing their identity. they are not sure if they should hold on to their african roots or copy the african americans. it's everywhere, i am sure the africans in the UK are the same if not worse.

Interesting perspective!

And...I agree with your supposition that such behavior is not limited to America.

Doesn't it make you wonder why?

[b][/b]

ileobatojo: Could you please specify exactly which behavior or behaviors you're talking about. Because the only Nigerian you mentioned in this story are the RN and her daughter. Just want to be clear on what perverse behavior specifically you are trying to highlight in this story. Thanks.

Well...it depends on what YOU consider perverse (disturbing) behavior.

per·verse
/pərˈvərs/Adjective
1.(of a person or their actions) Showing a deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in a way that is unreasonable or unacceptable 2.Contrary to the accepted or expected standard or practice. Synonyms: vicious - perverse

Why do YOU think nine Nigerian nurses were killed by their partners, between 2005 and 2008?

Where YOU were raised, in Nigeria, how many times were such happenings "news of the day"?

If such happenings were rare in your village...why is it that such happenings are becoming more and more common in the Diaspora?

Such happenings aren't new in America...but in the Nigerian/African community...here in America...such happenings WERE rare...until a decade or so.

Why?

ileobatojo: Could you please specify exactly which behavior or behaviors you're talking about. Because the only Nigerian you mentioned in this story are the RN and her daughter. Just want to be clear on what perverse behavior specifically you are trying to highlight in this story. Thanks.

One...the murder of nine Nigerian nurses between the years of 2005 and 2008.

Second...the stabbing of a 6-year old daughter, by her own father...a Kenyan.

Third...the murder of a Kenyan wife and two of her children by the husband.

Fourth...the case of Alexander Kinyua, who alledgedly killed an associate and ate some of his body parts.

Such happenings are becoming more common among African immigrants. It's not uncommon, here in America.

What's going on?

coogar: it's because africans in diaspora are losing their identity. they are not sure if they should hold on to their african roots or copy the african americans. it's everywhere, i am sure the africans in the UK are the same if not worse.

Wow!!!

You may be onto something!

Why are incidences of perverse behavior, domestic violence and the murder of one's spouse and children seem to be escalating, among African immigrants in the Diaspora?

Could it be that the stresses of immigration or culture shock be the cause...or...something else?

Just this morning, a friend called to inform me that one of his cousin's friends has been jailed for prostituting out the 12-year old daughter of his Nigerian girlfriend. This child is now pregnant, by who knows, and the mother, a R.N., at the county hospital, is beside herself with grief and guilt.

What's going on?

America is viewed by some as the "great leveler"...but...are some of her basest/immoral behaviors influencing the behaviors of some Naija/African immigrants...behaviors that could and do place them smack dab in the crosshairs of the American justice system?

What's going on?

Are such behaviors already existent within such immigrants...but magnified by the so-called permissiveness of American society...good or bad... moral and immoral?

Any thoughts?

Yield: You're the one who said they helped pay for her Masters. :

According to her, since these particular relatives co-signed for the loans, THEY "paid", since she couldn't carry the loans herself...no established credit. But she's paid all those loans off. That's all I know about that.

Yield: Is she a Christian?


No, not everyone's called to marriage. Some Christians (who've never been married before) don't have the desire for marriage. They usually describe themselves as being "called to singleness". BUT Christians who're truly called to singleness are those who've never been married before (no se-xual relations either) and do not want to get marred, but rather use their gift of celibacy for the glory of God. That is, instead of directing their energy into marriage, that energy goes toward God, seeking and serving Him more.

You said, she's "much more interested in pursuing her budding career as a photojournalist than following tradition (i.e. snagging a man and popping out babies)". LOL. Do her reasons for remaining single have to do with her faith as well (i.e. seeking God's Kingdom?). Unless she has really opened up to you, you might not know. I reckon there must be more to her not wanting to get married than just focusing on her budding career, whatever it might be.

She's a Seventh Day Adventist.

Sanboy25: Your friend is quite a catch. Why don't you try to be her man?.... or is it the purpose of this thread.... ?

I am lady...not a man...and I am straight.

Yield: She followed her passion, good for her. Seems she's doing well for herself ('a budding career in Photojournalism'). Yes, I'm always happy for people who defy tradition and follow their dreams. Did she ask her relatives to help pay for her Masters though or did they just decide to chip in and help her out?

Relatives chipped in for the Bachelor's. She used student loans for the Masters.

"Thou shalt not idolize or worship your Minister/Pastor/Reverend/etc."

Why is it that some people feel the need to idolize/revere/worship their church leaders...to the point of slavish devotion...devotion which sometimes leads to dangerous or deadly outcomes...devotion that remains steadfast...even when these leaders have proven themselves to be morally and ethically bankrupt?

To All:

My friend in question -

- has a Masters in Fine Arts (which she had to pay for, with help from sympathetic relatives, because her parents thought such a degree was basically useless)

- has been living on her own for several years

- does contract and freelance work for various media outlets

- has never had a serious boyfriend

- is still virgin (at least that is what she told me)

- is straight (at least that is what she told me)

- has never been molested (at least that is what she told me)

- doesn't exhibit any signs of emotional trauma or mental illness

- strikes me as not the type of woman who would not be submissive to any man...or...suffer any man who believes that men are superior to women

IMO...it takes guts to buck tradition!

A 34-year old Yoruba friend has become something of a pariah in her family, because she expresses NO interest in marriage and motherhood. No amount of heartelt entreaties, threats of growing old all alone, being called stubborn and selfish, being shunned or questions about her sexuality has changed her mind. She says that she is happy and much more interested in pursuing her budding career as a photojournalist than following tradition (i.e. snagging a man and popping out babies). In a recent hot exchange with her parents over her "unnatural state of mind" (e.g. crazy thinking), which I witnessed, my friend shouted "Mum! Dad!...ALL are not called to marriage! Will you please leave me to live my life the way I want to live it?!"

I wisely excused myself. I have NEVER seen my friend and her parents fight like that!


Do YOU believe that ALL people are called to marriage...or just SOME?

Should the parents and the rest of the family back off?

Do you know someoone like this?

On this site, as well as other Naija sites, I am always amazed at the amount and depth of hatred I see, falling from the fingers of Naijas and non-Naijas who call themselves Christians.

These self-proclaimed Christians seem to delight in directing their specific brand of hatred toward others based on Ethnic Group, Race, Religious Belief (or lack thereof), Political Affiliation, Sexual Orientation, Social Class, Choice of Mate, Educational Level and everything in-between.

If God is about love...then what are those who call themselves Christians about...when they go around hating on other people?

Where is the love?