₦airaland Forum

I've been married for four years now, and it seems my wife has become a stranger.

We've been having issues from the first year, mostly on different styles of life.
I am a guy who loves managing resources and very focused on achievements because I was born with a silver spoon but lost it due to the death of my father, I never wanted to experience the same thing as I did when he died.
She on the other hand is comfortable and okay with what she has, not too bothered about achievements.

I've been calling for management of resources for a while but she's the type that grew up in a very comfortable home and knows not how to manage resources.

Another issue on my part is that, she does not really care about how she looks and that's one of the things I care about.

I lost, or should I say resigned from my first job due to pressure and things became hard. I had to sell some of my landed properties so we could survive.

I got another Job and in six months, I made millions. We lived well until I wanted to chase my passion in banking again.

Got back into banking and to cut the story short, I met one lady where I was sent to. I loved her. I wish I had met her first honestly. In a year, she showed me a lot in the kind of woman I wanted. Then I lost my job again, this time because I wanted to go for youth service.

I got back home and I told my wife the game plan. I bought foodstuffs for at least two months and went for camp. In less than a week, my mother called me and was angry why I left my wife and two kids hungry. I exeated camp immediately and came back home. After investigating, I found out she sent the food to her mother who is an associate professor, without telling me and while she knows out conditions.

I got so angry. I wanted her out.
I considered things because my second child which she had by force is just 5months. She had the baby because she stopped taking contraceptives because of advice from people that if she has a male child for me, I'll stay.
After much, she can't leave, because who will take care of the boy?

Yesterday, she read my messages and discovered I was having an affair and wants to leave. I told the lady off this morning but, I still loved her.

I can't allow that. Even if she does, she has to wait for the boy to be at least a year old. Remember she was the one that wanted this baby, not me. Now she wants to leave the liability for me?
And I can't allow my kids to grow with her because I don't want them to learn such lifestyle.

What should I do?

Your desperation has cost you so much...one error to the other....the fact that you left a job to face nysc after touching millions in your life tells me you are NEVER coming out of this problem. God has helped you so much but you just can’t find a way to stabilize your own life.

Always looking for one external thing to blame. A person that seeks no improvement improves on nothing and a desperate man will always marry a mannerless woman in haste.
A desperate woman will marry a wicked man. The end.

D

TobiArchy:
So how much is a plate...
please add prices...

A plate is between 3k to 5k depending on what you want.
Kindly call/whatsapp.
08033196306

IDGAF what you say, all this hashtags and calling on authorities AFTER THE DEED IS ALREADY DONE is bullshxxxt to me.
The only solution is to move with a deadly weapon at all times the minute you suspect anything, stxxb anybody in the eye, or pour something poisonous in their face and scamper for your safety.
Make e no be your head dey go use count scores.
All this long talks after someone’s life is already altered forever is never worth it. Rubbish country.

F

Idan. Sounds dirty.

Weak story.
In this day and age, una still never sabi move.

God1000:
Only him with three wives.

But it seems only African men marry plenty women, you will hardly see European or American man doing this, I'm not even sure.

Why are you comparing real men with humiliation-loving cuckolds

Well we’ll well

Silly speech

Buddha3:
No matter who you are, if you threaten the peace and sanctity of my family's well-being and existence, I'll end you!

That woman has no business going online to ask for advice. Even if that girl is not biologically the man's child, the man has found love and fatherhood in the little girl. He is at peace. As far as I'm concerned, he's the father of the girl cause he's been shouldering her responsibilities from birth.

Nobody go fit blackmail me for this life. I'll fix you permanently without thinking twice. Don't know why any human will sit somewhere and take delight in being a source of pain to a loving and peaceful family.

“mistakenly” reconnected with your EX. Lmaoo. Mistakenly.

The concept of a soul mate is real.
If you ever find someone you have a deep lying sincere concern for and will do anything to make them happy even if they’re not with you...that’s your soul mate.

Most humans develop selfishness as a coping mechanism after failed relationships...this leads to desperate choices due to biological clock and finance (women) and status (men).
That is why most people are happy with divorce.

A xombination of tiger nuts, dates and root stem (man power) which are all natural are sold on the street for less than 500 naira so why are you here crying
Why do most of you act like villagers when there are solutions everywhere?? Even villagers know these solutions.
If your problem is extreme viagra (100ml) is there for you but prepare for aftermath headache sha according to users report.

To everyone still watching porn, as Nigerian man that lives in nigeria, stop watching anything outside african porn...you cannot be watching American chicks while fvcking Nigerian ethnic looking women and expect not to malfunction during sex.
Your visual erotic experience has to match the reality of the kind of women you have sex with in real life...

Secondly, stop squeezing your dick too hard, no woman’s vag!!na is that tight or gripping

Lol. You have to vibrate at the level of the woman you want, and she will appear before you...ready for you...all this wooing thing is a thing of the past and Nigerian women are not worth it anyway. They bring strife and indigence into your life. They always have 300 problems their father can’t solve and easily manipulated by other men.
Make money, travel the world, find a wife.

Those telling you to dress well, act polite be confident etc my question is FOR WHO? For people wey never bath??

Don’t chase women bro.
Become the man, they will chase you, you set your standards and choose the best one wey suit ya taste.

Godfather898989:
I'm thinking about marriage man...seriously is time almost all my buddies are married

That’s not a reason to get married.

Dirty story.
If her husband is still with her he’s a sheep.

Your brain is empty.

vibrant40:
Okay. I met this girl in an exam hall, we were both writing exams, so we did the student things, she asked me a maths question which she was kind of afraid of and me being a maths person answered her question and moved on with with my exams. After the exams she search for me to say her gratitude and we moved on. I think after the results was released and she got an A in the exams was when she had to find me and got me on Facebook. She chatted me and introduced herself, so we began chatting from there and that was how I got to know she is my kind of woman.

I asked her out, we started dating or lemme say I started dating her because at a pint she told me we were only friends during the time, be she do come to my side, we do touch and kiss but no s*x. Down the lane I got to know she had a guy whom she was dating but she could not marry because she has so many revelations and dreams that he is not the one and according to her, the guy had so many red flags. At a point I put it to her she should choose what she wanted on time, the guy or myself.


According to her she choose me. Along the line, she told me about another guy disturbing her for romantic relationship, because no matter what she will tell me anything even if she knows I am gonna hurt by that, although I do take it that she is trying to literally tell me to do quick and pop the question if I really want to marry her. All of a sudden I observe she was receiving a Seyi call till like 12midnight, and I would want to call her only for her to be busy on another call for a lengthy period.


She will not stop talking about this guy whenever we are together, how good the guy is to her, she even was like we have the same character but only that the guy is taller than I am and she had also never shy away from talking about the physically height of her dream children.


I saw all these as competition and keep letting her know how much I love and want to marry her. One afternoon, she just rang me and said just a sentence, 'I will marry you'. Well that gave me the assurance I needed, I met her mother (dad is late) and I must confess she has a very good mother, the mom checks on me everyday (infact she did while I was typing this epistle). I popped the questions and she said yes. We had our introduction and currently planing on getting married.


The problem now is, she would still not stop talking about this Seyi guy. She even called me one to tell me she went to his house, that the guy called home to come, I confronted her so many times to tell her how I felt about it, she kept saying sorry and keep repeating the same thing of no cutting loose from the guy, she even claimed that at least she is not having s*x with now that they are just talking..


Some days ago we had a serious argument about this matter and she was like maybe we should even end the relationship if I don't trust her (and this has always been her anthem whenever we have serious arguments, she would say maybe we are not compatible). She later apologized and promised not to let that happen again that she would cut loose of the guy, only for us to be talking via whatsapp last night around 11:40 for to receive this guys call and they spoke for like 10mins. I ended my call, she called back later and was like it was just an innocent talk they had....


Seriously, I am tired and confused, what should I do? Please help me with your candid advice. So sorry for the long epistle and some bad grammar.

Your brain is empty.