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thedareafolabi: Episode Fourteen - LOVE MARRIAGE AND FRIENDSHIP.

I have never seen my Anike so beautiful, she was looking like a million dollars, the last time I saw her like this was in a dream, I saw her on our wedding day looking graciously beautiful, her pathway to the altar was littered with beautiful golden roses which perfectly matched the yellow embroided tail of her wedding gown. Anike was the definition of Royalty in that dream…

Today my Anike is dressed in a sleek black gown that ended just above her knee; her beautiful spotless skin was nsync with the meticulously carved Deola Sagoe piece, one of my numerous gifts to her. The firmness of her breast was a wow sight and the sight of her cleavage would send shivers down any man’s spine. The simplicity of her make-up complemented her child-like smile. I almost knelt to ask her to marry me on the spot but “James Bond no dey rush”, she graced the black gown with a yellow shoe and bag and the heels of her shoe sef na elele… it is not easy to be a fine, enterprising and intelligent guy, see as Anike dey roll her curves just to remind me of her hotness and protect her interest like say na me be Bill Gate. Anyway I will fight for her too if I have to… again, I know Anike is not dressed to impress me alone but to also send a message to Funke Salman that she is the rightful owner of this handsome dude; My humble self “EDWIN BABATUNDE ALEXANDER” as it was Sunday and we were visiting the Salmans.

I have prayed to God not kill Wole for me o, I have again borrowed his car for today’s outing, in fact I think I will just buy this car from him since na me dey kuku use ahm sef… but what are friends for, atleast the guy too dey bring hin “you must chop my money” babes to my house and they will eat my food, use my stadium to the play match and sometimes the guy they borrow boots for the match sef… what are friends for? We are even jare...

I had decided to wear a black pants, my pink shirt since that is Anike's favourite colour and bless it with my black mauri shoe "jejely o", but madam Anike had a different plan, she said our dressing must be complimentary, we must look like a couple, "shey you are going to impress another person ni" to use her words. So I finally left the house wearing a yellow Hawes and Curtis shirt, a black pants and a black suede shoe.

Off course we had a discussion on how I must behave when we get to the Salman's, or should I called them Madam's threats...

- I must sit beside her and not opposite her when we get to the Salman's.

- I must not leave her alone with Funke at any point and I must not be alone with Funke Salman throughout the visit.

- I must not make any form of joke about our relationship. Even if it is not an embarrassing thing and...

- I should allow her be my wife, meaning; she is in charge of my well being for the day...

I sighed and said okay, after reciting a little prayer for “the spirit of my mother's head” to follow me so I can survive today. I know Anike can be a jealous lady, she doesn't play with anything that will take her man from her, on the other hand, I understand Funke to be the simple type, her intention is not to take Anike's husband but to talk to her newly found brother freely and I personally need Funke to make the money I will use to take care of Anike, so dearest God help me to help this two ladies to understand themselves... In fact I became so scared at a point and I started feeling sick but "Man na Man" and "E.B.A nah Boss Man... No shaking".

I locked the door to my apartment and complimented Anike again, I said;

" You are the best thing that ever happened to me and you look so beautiful today I feel like the luckiest, richest and blessed man alive" and planted a kiss on her check...

She gave me a soft smile, followed by the “talk to the hand” sign and replied;

"Ahh Babatunde... Your mouth is just too sweet, is this the first time you are seeing me? Don't flatter me joo".

I know you guys don't know My Anike like I do, anytime you compliment her and she plays it down, sing a victory song in your heart because you have planted a "Boko Haram Bomb" in her head and the head is swelling already, just pray it doesn't blow "patapata"... on my side that compliment was a bribe too, so I can make her happy and enjoy my visit to the Salman, it is also a compulsory assignment I must do... I cannot count how many fights we have had just because I didn't compliment her one time or the other.

We were on our way and Anike's choice of songs were motivating, the songs were flowing and I understood how she felt, Anike was following her man to go and close the dream deal, which will usher in the blessing of a dream pay, a dream car, a lavish apartment and off course the vacations... Now, I know why She became a disc jockey in the car, she started with the popular gospel tune... "Koso ba bire... Kosi Baba bire... Koma solorun bii re... Igwe..." Then moved on to other thanksgiving songs, she even played 9ice's "wedding day" and sang along while looking at me most of the time... Womaaaaaannnn....!!!. She danced all through the trip and signalled me to join the happy moment at intervals which I gladly did. You don't want Anike's "wahala" on a day like this, she won’t shout at you o, but you won’t her to be quite too, if you know what I mean.

We landed safely at the Salman's residence, Anike looked at me and smiled as we got out of the car, I waited for her to adjust her dress and took her hand and I lead her to the beautiful door leading to the main lounge... I felt sick again and my heart beat increased but "today na today", I looked at my beautiful Anike, winked and smiled at her, she smile back, I was about to plant a kiss on the forehead when Funke Salman opened the Door. With excitement and full joy Funke greeted Anike just like I prayed she would, a warm smile, hug and sweet compliment of her dress and looks, she concluded by telling Anike she is the luckiest girl alive to have me as her man, Anike's replies were also western and on point... "My baby dey rep die"... We walked in and Alhaji called me over...;

"Babatunde my son, come here... It is nice to see you again, your sister has talked about you almost every day since the last time I saw you in her office"

I walk to him and we shook hands, Anike went on her knee to greet Alhaji and he was impressed, he told us we were beautiful together and he couldn't wait to receive invite for our wedding.

Then Funke Salman came out looking different, when we got to their residence she was wearing a blue jean, a long Indian designed top and a veil over her head, now she is dressed in a multi colour Ankara gown and a veil, cute girl and those eyes I have not still found a way to stop admiring them. She invited us to the dining area and I again held Anike's hand as we walked over to eat...

Funke served her Dad first then Anike before she served me and herself, the meal was Ofada rice, made with a difference, there was green peas, sweet corn and other "medemedes" in it, and the "Ayamase" sauce was "on point" chicken, gizzard, "shaki" and liver with other usual "orisirisi", and I must not forget the home squeezed orange juice as usual, what a meal...!

Alhaji broke the silence as we ate;

"Hope you are enjoying your food Anike?" he asked,

"Yes sir" my baby answered with a gracious smile...

I smiled at Anike and added;

"Anike has an excellent tongue for taste, on like me, anything goes when am hungry, I just want to eat and fill my tummy..."

Funke laughed, she told her Dad and Anike not to believe me, she continued;

"Huh, Mr Babatunde... You have an excellent taste for food o... I have seen you eat several times and your choice of meals were not bad"

That statement Funke made was already in Anike's head, I had to beg and explain what "seen you eat several times" meant later that night.

We finish our meals and Alhaji advised me and Anike on marital issues, he told us we looked like a couple already so we should try as much as we can to keep the love fresh, he prayed for us and promised again to grace our wedding "insha Allahu"... Funke also admired our union and told Anike to take care of her brother... to which Anike replied she would keep trying.

Each time compliments were paid to Anike... I receive either a pinch on my thigh or a stump on my foot under the table... "My baby head dey swell like no man business" that is another way Anike manages "head swelling things".

Funke invited Anike on an excursion on the property so I and Alhaji could talk, Anike looked at me for approval and I broke another rule for the night... I made a joke about our relationship. WARNING NO.3, I said;

"Yes Anike, let Funke show you around you will love it, especially the peacocks, Abi you don't want to leave your husband... Iyawo yawoo..."

Alhaji and Funke laughed but I noticed Anike forced a smile as she makes space to get out of her sit and walked out with Funke holding hands, Alhaji Salman lead me to the living area holding my hand as usual and I followed with humble steps.

I finished my discussion with Alhaji and we joined the ladies in the garden where they were feeding the peacocks, I was surprised the way I saw Anike and Funke gisting and laughing, I said a little prayer and thanked God for answering my prayers on this ladies. They clicked..! They finally noticed us and walked over... Alhaji asked Anike if she had fun and she confessed that it was a wonderful experience, she also told Alhaji he had a magnificent mansion ...it is Beautiful, elegant and serene, to use my baby's words.

Alhaji and Funke walked us to our car, and I heard the ladies say "see you soon..." "Ehnn?, See you soon ke?" "So I was just afraid for nothing..." I gave Funke a hug and she told me to take care of her "wife" o...

I told Alhaji I will bring the proposal over by next Sunday and he told me to take my time and come up with a very good one... Funke gave me a "thumps up" sign; she gave Anike a hug and told her to take care of her brother too.

We had barely made it out of the Salman's residence when Anike asked;

"So we are working for SKS now abi?"

"No" I replied.

“Why” she pressed,

“Nothing”, I answered.

Anike looked at me, wanted to say something then she kept quiet and looked on, I wanted to explain what happened and my mystery plan to her too but "I am enjoying the suspense in this... I will tell her when we get home jo"...

I placed my right hand on her left hand and squeezed it and my Anisky pepperoni squeezed back... just like Micheal Scofeild and Sarah in the action sitcom series PRISON BREAK, Anike trusts her man and she believes he will always have a plan and I will not fail her, So help me GOD.




Episode Fifteen - THE CEO

(levels don change now)

I woke up this morning to see the lovely face of my Anike beside me, the shallow dimple that soothes her cute face when she sleep and the innocence she projects just makes me love her more, I just finished writing the proposal for SKS Consulting and since I hope to end my gist with you guys here, I want to let you in on my plans and let you be the judge.

I am not going back to El-Paso or any other company owned by my Boss again and the reasons are obvious, in life, if you will ever work for a Boss please pray to find a Boss that will seek the development of the firm and the personal development of the persons/people that make up the organization, because that is when everyone can be happy and business will grow more. I have worked for El-Paso for over four years now since I graduated from the university, while I thank the management of El-paso for the opportunity given to me to work and taking off the streets, I think I have been diligent enough and I have worked very hard, morning, Afternoon and Night to contribute my own quota to the development of the company and still the Boss has never wanted my personal development, he wants everything for himself and his Family. He has four kids schooling somewhere Abroad on the money that I personally help make and yet my salary cannot buy a return ticket to America, I am not saying lets us share the profit 50/50 but I am the brain behind what brings this money in, just treat me fairly and make me feel important too.

I am not saying I am the messiah or the major factor in El-Paso but I can tell you I have helped El-Paso make a lot of amount of money and I have not been taken care of as it befits an employee of my kind and off course the last import business saga, if it was a more dangerous issue Anike's husband will be in kirikiri now o, for something I knew nothing about... So at this point I don't care what happens to El-Paso or the Boss or his family but I pray Almighty God helps him out of his "Greed-caused" problems, But I Edwin Babatunde Alexander has moved on to greater things.

I love the Salmans, that family has shown me love from the first day I had contact with them, I love Funke Salman and if I did not have Anike she would have been my wife no doubt, she is beautiful, intelligent, warm, alluring, sexy and off course RICH, what else does a man want in a wife, but I love my Anike and together we will build a future greater than what the Salmans have, Anike loves me and I love her too and with love all things are possible.
 
Alhaji Salman kashimawo Salman is the best guy I have known after my father, he is a rich man that hasn't forgotten is diligent days, he is the definition of a father, a Boss like no other, a friend and an in-law sef, if to say I no carry my eyes from Funke, he is just too kind a man, he is the type of man you meet and you start believing in fairy tales. A man that has allowed his life and existence go beyond trivial barriers like religion and ethnicity. A very handsome man with lovely kids, he has not allowed his wealth to control him, he controls his money and touches lives with it in many ways than how he earns it and the money keeps piling up. Now, I believe and can confirm to everyone that when you give more, you receive in multiple folds.

I am not taking a job with the Salmans either, but we are going to be doing business together, my last meeting with Alhaji Salman at his residence went thus;

"Babatunde, quite a beautiful and homely wife you've got in Anike, hope you are taking care of her, you guys look like a couple already, don't leave her o" Alhaji warned as we sat in the living area.

"Thank you sir, I have been told that several times in our four years of courting and I have also seen much more qualities in her, we have had our share of issues but I guess that is why we understand ourselves better and our love and respect for each other is growing every day." I replied.

"That is so nice, and I pray Almighty Allah in his supremacy guides your steps and gives you all it takes to be a husband to your wife, because Babatunde, when a man marries a good wife, the flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone, every other thing will come easy, he can plan and be happy to always return home to meet his family, I miss Mama Funke every day, no matter how rich and wealthy I am in life I owe it to her support as my wife, but "Inna lilahi wahina'ileahi rojiun", we were from Allah “sub’anawata’hala” and to him we shall all return" Alhaji said and sighed..

"May her soul rest in perfect peace and May all she left behind continue to receive the blessings of the Almighty" I prayed and we both chorused a gentle "Ameen".

We were quite for some minutes then I broke the silence...

"Sir, I have come with my decision and a proposition for SKS consulting, I am not here as an applicant to SKS sir, I am here as your son and you are my father and guardian"

"Ok, Babatunde, what is your decision and what do you want to propose to us?" Alhaji asked with a smile.

"I have terminated my appointment with El-paso Nigeria limited, It was a very emotional thing for me but again life must go on, Sir, I want to work for you, In fact the package you proposed to me was overwhelming and I have still found it difficult to come to terms with benefits of that magnitude on a Job compared to where I am coming from, but again Sir, I had plans before we met."

" I was working on being my own Boss and practicing as a Client Base Development Consultant, I was waiting to raise enough venture capital for the business to start up when fate brought us together" I said and waited for Alhaji to respond before I continue.

Alhaji nodded and signaled me to continue;

"Sir, I am working on a Client Base Development plan for SKS, it is a world class plan just like I do and would have done if the contract had been awarded to El-Paso Nigeria Limited, but this time it is coming from my own personal registered firm "El-Nino Client Resource Incorporation", we will develop a world class client base development department for SKS Consulting in twenty four(24) months, get you the best hands in the industry and provide world class training for the staffs and continue support you remotely if and when needed."

"Alhaji, I can do this, I have always done this and the results have been very impressive, As my first client if you allow me do you the honours sir, I don’t want us to discuss money yet, All I want is for you to fund this project and provide “El-Nino. C.R.I” with all the information we need to build an unbeatable Client Base department for SKS consulting. Alhaji I can and I will do this, when I am through, then you can pay me any amount you want..." I concluded and looked straight into Alhaji eyes, I was ready for any answer.

Alhaji Salman looked at me, smiled and gave me a pat on the back, he praised my plans and gave me kudos for my skills in the field of client base development, he said he wasn’t alien to the fact that I am one of the best hands around if not the best in the field of client base development and continued...

"Babatunde, I am impressed you are working on your own company and I am a firm believer in the "Be your Boss" strategy in life. No one can ever be Mega-Rich working for someone else, I will discuss your proposition with Funke and we will take a management decision, which I am sure will be positive. Are you here with the proposal and plan from "El-Nino"?"

"No sir" I replied,

"Okay then, go and finish it up and bring it for us to look at, don't rush yourself Babatunde, you are like a son to me, left to me I have accepted your proposal, I just want your sister; Funke's consent too before I give you the go ahead to start you know she is at the helms of affairs now at the office and I must respect that... while you finish up on your proposal and start up plans, I will ask them to prepare an office for you at the SKS complex to use for the twenty four months… also all that I promised you still holds in terms of benefits for the job, your car, your house and your vacation, we will re-discuss the pay when you bring the proposal proper" Alhaji said...

I felt like an angel just took me on a heavenly trip, I was so happy yet I was shock and did not know how to thanks Alhaji, I tried to prostrate but again he held me back and insisted it is against the doctrines of Islam, he congratulated me in advance and we shock hands and hugged…
I have called my mum and Dad on this issue and a lot of prayers and advice have been dished out to me, my mum will be coming over next week for my cousin’s wedding, I plan to take he to Alhaji Salman to thank him and also see the man that God has sent to up lift the life and social status of her son, as for my Dad all he said was:

“Babatunde, just know what you are doing, avoid women and plan well, they are selling plots of land now Ganmo and new GRA Ilorin once you have money come and buy o. I will tell your mother to give you details when she comes next week, typical Yoruba man abi?

So that was what went down last week at the meeting with Salmans and my parents, Anike already knows her new status has the wife of a CEO and Funke has called to congratulate and welcome me to SKS as a client base consultant, she said she can't wait to have me around her all day as a colleague at work and a big brother to seek advice from... To which Anike is in full support of. "I wonder wetin dem give themselves chop, this their love for each other dey fear me sef". They have had lunch together like twice since they met without inviting me, Anike even knows some details about my new job which I don’t o… women, they also have a wedding to attend this weekend, I was invited but I have to start working on SKS’s client base development plans. My only fear is when your female boss and your wife are friends just pray they don’t fight o, because you won’t like to be in the middle of that fracas, I trust my Anike sha, she hardly keeps friends and Funke is a very understanding, respectful and reasonable young lady… they will do well by His grace and I need them to do wello...

Now I feel like I have never had a problem before in my life, everything seems easy and plans are already going on in my head to do some things I have always dreamt of doing, my dream house somewhere in a serene estate, my kids in good schools, that vacation by the ocean seem visible now and off course I can also live my life as an example to my younger once and help give a hand to diligent lads in my community… that is true wealth in my opinion, which will serve as a reminder to me on how I got this far in life and what I need to do to continue to sustain my new height in the social realm. I am not a wealthy man yet but soon all things been equal I will be a comfortable husband and a father to my children and live a life where money will not be a problem but how to spend it will be the issue. So Dearest God I pray again, please bless me with the grace of humility, grant me patience, guard the existence of my household, guide my steps and grant me the strength to always know you and remember you in all my endeavors… Amen

So you guys cannot hear wedding bells ringing?... I am going to meet Anike’s parent formally with my family in eight weeks time for a formal introduction and ask for their daughters hand in marriage, our wedding proper will be in four months time and you are all invited, thanks for supporting us to this point.

Please o, if anyone wants to write me a letter, invite me to an event or introduce me from now on, my social status and rank has changed please, maybe I should just introduce myself again so you guys will know how to address me... 

Hi, I am Edwim Babatunde Alexander, the Chairman, Chief executive Officer, Managing consultant and Chief financial officer of EL-Nino Client Resource Incorporation, I am also every other post I need to play to make my business a success....

Now you know.. “levels don change now you know fit know me again now I am 10/10…10/10… 10/10 … shikena.” Thank you


P.S. - I will like to thank my numerous readers across the globe for reading my first series TWO MAN BUSINESS, I would have loved to mention your names but you all know yourselves, thanks for the encouragement, advice and constructive criticisms may you all find joy in all you do because you all gave me a lot of joy writing this and knowing someone will read it somewhere and smile, thank you so much. I will also like to state here clearly that everything written in this piece, names, company names, addresses and nicknames are all fiction it is in no way related to anyone or anything what so ever.

thedareafolabi: Episode Seven - “CROSSROAD”

It is 3.a.m in the middle of the night. I have had less than three hours of sleep since I left The Salman’s residence yesterday, I can also confirm to you that there are twenty small squares of ceiling in my room, something I have never noticed….

“Should I call Anike? I thought,

No, if I do, she will know something is wrong with me and I will have no choice than to tell her, but I don’t want to tell her yet, not even over the phone.

I should call “Maami” then, but what will a grown man like me be doing calling his mother in the depth of the night like a baby.

My Dad nko? Forget the guy jo, he is too strict, he will just tell me to take the right decision and remind me of how he took care of himself without disturbing his parents when he was my age, if i am lucky and he is in a good mood, he will order me to go and pray about it and take my decision as directed by God… Hmmmmm…

How about My Boss chief Kosamotu Alake, What should I tell him? How do I even explain what happened to him?, first, I must return the Advance he sent to S.K’s P.A, since Alhaji S.K Salman has concluded no contract for El-Paso, what will I say is the reason for the return now? The Boss is smart he will suspect foul play and I dare not tell him I am leaving to take up an appointment with SKS consulting, I will be called degrading names; Traitor, shameless greedy boy, “Woman wrapper” and all, that is if he doesn’t curse me and call security to throw me out of El-Paso plaza.

The Boss has been taking advantage of me for a long time, I have worked for him with nothing to show for it, and he only paid me on Wednesday to motivate me so we can win the Salman’s job. Why should I consider or even pity him? Ehn..? Why… I need a plan; a way to get out of this, one extra brain won’t be too much to ask for right now Baba GOD.

The soulful sound of the call to prayer from the mosque on my street reminded me it was 5.30a.m as usual, I rolled to the side of my bed, went on my knees and started to pray..

“Dearest God in heaven, I know you love me, I have always seen your hand of favour in all that I have embarked on in my life, thank you now and always, Dear God as you already know, I am confused, worried and scared about the course of my life and successful existence on earth, “Oluwa o” you are the God of wisdom, you blessed David with the wisdom to defeat Goliath and you stood by him, pleased God, I am facing my Goliath now bless me with the wisdom to make the right decision and stand by me through the journey.

Dearest God, I am scared o, but because I have you I will worry no more. Bless my parents, my siblings and my heart; Anike, protect us all from evil now and always. Amen.”

I read the psalms like mum says I should always do and crawled back in to my bed, trying very hard not to worry.
Some minutes passed and my heart beat was increasing again, I pick up my phone and dialed Anike’s number..

“Hello Anike baby mi” I teased trying hard to hide my worries.

“Her husband” she replied.. ” Why is your voice like this Tunde? That your oga has over used my husband again abi? God will kuku deliver you from his claws”

“I think he has”, I thought to myself and continued..

” Are you still coming over?”

“Yes I am, but not as early as I promised, have to take my mum to my tailor but I will come sha…. oh. I see… Someone is missing someone already ehnnn.. Oko iyawo oo” She joked.

I confessed to missing her without the fear of been teased, I also begged her to branch the market on her way down; I have missed her wonderful vegetable soup.

I ended Anike’s call and dialed my mum’s number immediately….

“Maami” I called thinking she wouldn’t know who was calling her this early but she did,

“Ah! oko mi, Babatunde Ajani okin, how are you? How is work? And Anike? I have missed you o…..” She sang in a frail voice..

We discussed other family matters before I confessed my worries, she praised me and reminded me of how promising a son I am, she also promised to pray for me and I know that includes consulting her pastors.

she warned me not to rush anything and I should not discuss this with anyone again, ” if your harvest is bountiful, you do not announce it to the world” to use her exact words. She told me my Dad was attending the Community development association meeting when I finally asked of the old man and promised they will both call me later in the day. She prayed for me as usual and we ended our yarn.

I dropped my phone and tried to clear my head and it rang again, I pick it up and Guess who..?

Its Funke Salman.. “Hello,” she sang with that alluring voice again.

I was so confused I didn’t know how to answer..

“Hellooo!” she sang again,

And I finally mumbled. “Hi, Funke, how are you? How is Alhaji...? ”

“Hey, Babatunde, we are fine, sorry if I woke you up o” she begged.

“its okay” I replied.

“Ehhm, I was thinking if your schedule isn’t too tight for the week we could hang out, one of my girlfriends is having a little birthday party on Wednesday at her house in Magodo and I am officially inviting you as my company, what do u say?”

“Ah, Madam, this is a great honour oo, but…” I tried to reply but she cuts in.

“Babatunde no buts jo, just an atmosphere to gist and get to know each other outside the formal stuffs and you are acting like it s a kidnap… we might soon be colleague you know.. Oya jo.. Let’s start getting use to each other and it’s a great honour for me too”. She begged,

See me o, Funke Salman invite me for date I dey form.., wetin dey do me sef? Babatunde, you better smart up and follow her, this will give you the opportunity to get some info and confirm some things too, abi what do you guys think?

I finally agreed to the date and she told me to wear whatever I like, party time is 5p.m and I will join her in her office.

Immediately Funke was off the line the thoughts of Anike sneaked in to my mind, “if she catch you. Huh.. Babatunde, you are playing with fire” I warned myself. But no shaking jo, it’s me nah, “E.B.A The Phenomenon.”

Well, It is not certain I will take the job yet, some things are not clear to me about the whole thing and The Salmans, is it share luck orchestrated by God that made my Boss send me to SKS?, or The Salmans planned and waited for my Boss to send me over? And that He did. Funke and this her party invitation nko, she wants to flirt with me abi?, it’s obvious, even you guys know, well time will tell…..

My eyes are heavy, I think I will take a nap while I wait for Anike and leave you guys to go about your normal day too.. Thanks for standing by me to this point my people, See you on the other side.

By the way will one of you guys please help and wake me up, if you notice I am talking in my sleep please…..

thedareafolabi: Episode-Five - “Meeting the Salmans”

I smiled at the mirror as I brush my hair, this is the real definition of “fine boy no pimples”. I said to myself, I know some of you will “yinmu”, “Na unah sabi oo” I advise you cook your “beefs” and eat it o, abi how else will you describe a six foot two handsome young man, dressed in expensive, well sown Senegalese styled white caftan, a white cap and a black leather slippers, (Dimeji Bankole style). All courtesy of my sweet Anike baby, one of my numerous gifts while she was observing her one year compulsory youth corp service in kastina state, northern Nigeria.

By the way today is Friday and I am meeting The Salmans.

What else could be the reason behind my hyper-happiness?

Money.. and the fact that I will see that beauty again, “Miss Funke SalMan” a.k.a “come and do eyes”.

I have actually rented a car today, after a lot of begging, treats and promises; one of my “omo Baba olowo” friends will come and pick me at the office with his father’s Nissan Armanda SUV. The cost? A promise to hook him up with Anike’s friend, Ruth and ten thousand naira if he stays in the car through my lunch meeting.

I took a bike to the office has usual, this time it was an old Ijebu man that told me all of his troubled life’s story while I begged God for a save trip to the office on his “So help me God” bike. I got to the office in one piece only to be angered by Ronke, our fat receptionist.

“Good morin, Oga Ba’atunde, you are looking feri fine oo” she mumbled with her conk “Ibadan” accent.
T
“Morin” I teased back.

“I have told “this one” not to call me “Ba’atunde” again, abi another thing dey there ni?”

When The Boss employed her, he said she is his niece from Ilesha, I wonder how “Ibadan person take relate to ijesha o”, plus rumour has it that Ronke and The Boss are seriously “collaborating”.

”Yeye girl”, her recharge card business has nosedived, thanks to me and The Boss, wonder how much I owe, but when she “sef” wants to do every business nko, she will sell shirts, curf links, even “chin chin and chips” haba.!, now serious alarm dey blow her”, she ties scarf to work, no money to do hair”… I laughed out loud.

Now at the Salman’s residence, I stepped out of my “borrow pose” SUV and marveled at the white structure, with chocolate coloured roof, it’s a masterpiece with two Conspicuously giant pillars guarding the magnificent entrance door, a well mowed lawn to the left and a beautiful white mosque to the right, the central walking areas and walkways tiled with red and white interlocking brick tiles and the car park? Heart breaking.!, one white jaguar, a black Mercedes Benz G-class, another white Mercedes Benz C-class,”4matic”, a white Range Rover Sport Hse and the latest Toyota Camry, black. “My garage in a few years”, I motivated myself, I will just change the Toyota Camry to the latest “Rav4″ for Anike, she loves it.

I noticed Funke’s bright smile from the distance as she walks towards me, dressed in pink and white flowered Indian gown with a white veil, no make-up and this babe is still on point, we exchanged pleasantries with casual hug this time, she confirmed my unique dress sense as she ushered me in… “My guy go dey inside car, na my money dey work”. #wink#

This house is a Pseudo-paradise o, exotic Arabian styled living area, leather sofa? The best I have seen yet, the rugs, paintings and chandelier nko? Lovely. Just has Funke begged me to have my sit her Father appeared from what seems like a staircase corridor, I rushed to my feet and walk towards him?

Alhaji S.K Salman, this man oozes money, Tall average weight fresh light skin man with no strand of hair on his head, a well trimmed white beard, and his slightly big eyeballs, now I know where Funke got the eyes from. He was dressed in a White “Jalamia”.. I made an effort to prostrate but Alhaji held me half way to the ground.” No.. No.., Babatunde, it is forbidden to prostrate for any man except Allah in Islam” he informed as he shook my hand with his baby-soft hand, Still holding my hand he lead me to the luxurious dining area where I could see a well set table, my heart leaped with joy. “When last I chop correct food”.

I tried to introduce myself as we sat down to eat, again, Alhaji told me to save my speech.. “Funke has told me all we need to know about you, I just wanted to meet you that’s all Babatunde, now let’s eat. Do you like fried rice? It’s my favourite” he said, like a father talking to his son.

We ate quietly, very rich fried rice, salad, soft chicken and chilled home-squeezed orange juice, “this is the life my people”. Funke finished her meal first and excused herself, Alhaji and I finished almost at the same time, he asked me if I enjoyed the meal and I confessed I did sincerely.. Then Alhaji S.K Salman Dropped the Bomb;

“Babatunde, I am not giving El-Pas o this contract, I want you to ……..





Men...........I just want to be frank.....you are good, you have heard it so post episode 6 before I change my mind