ronkebp:

Hmm....Kai, Jenny, (shaking my legs)....hmmmm!!!!chei!!!!(takes a deep breathe). If it were me, all of them will hear from me.
- That lady is a stupid woman in the first place, for not knowing the family she married into.
- If that little girl's father did not want his daughter to be corrected in the first place, why sell her off to a more capable family??.

Aru!!!!

if na me them slap? My hubby would be cooling off his heels inside FOX RIVER for murder and I will be looking for Lincoln burrows, Tbag, pappi and Michael scofield to get him out.

jennykadry:

if na me them slap? My hubby would be cooling off his heels inside FOX RIVER for murder and I will be looking for Lincoln burrows, Tbag, pappi and Michael scofield to get him out.

So Jenny Is beating a 14yr old right in your books? if it was your own child beaten by a relative would you have sent flowers to them? At least we know what Nigerians call beating

jennykadry:

if na me them slap? My hubby would be cooling off his heels inside FOX RIVER for murder and I will be looking for Lincoln burrows, Tbag, pappi and Michael scofield to get him out.

My dear....hmmmmm!!!! my hubby must not even hear of it. Hmmm!!!! he does not want his brothers coming to our house, anytime we are in Nigeria, talk more of eating and leaving the dishes in the sink, then, not to talk off raising their voices at me, then to top it up...slap me Hmmmm i would rather i dealt with the situation myself, so as not to create enemity between siblings....that guy go take!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!his father that backed-him to my house will cry for him.

Chivivian125: relative or no relative,lets call a spade a spade...you dont go abt slapping people's wife except u know of course dat the husband is a weakling...if d younger brother has bn a terror,a no nonsense person,d man who called himself is elder brother wudnt have done such

I am not into sentimental jokes. A wife is not a blood relation and can decide to leave the husband on the instance, vis-à-vis. This scenario has happened several times. However, I have not heard that a brother left brother or sister except death.
Now a wife or husband should not forget the cardinal relationship among human beings. What you forgot is that the elder brother could be a terrorist extra-ordinary.

Dede1:


I am not into sentimental jokes. A wife is not a blood relation and can decide to leave the husband on the instance, vis-à-vis. This scenario has happened several times. However, I have not heard that a brother left brother or sister except death.
Now a wife or husband should not forget the cardinal relationship among human beings. What you forgot is that the elder brother could be a terrorist extra-ordinary.

So because a wife can leave her husband anytime, she deserves to be receiving slaps from her inlaws?? since "blood is thicker than water".

When you are dealing with your husband's relatives, you have to be extremely carefull because someone will call you a bad and wicked wife even in a situation where you are right. I won't blame the woman because this husband's relatives could be so annoying that it takes only the grace of God to endure their bad behaviours. Culture my foot. I think patience and endurance is the solution when it comes to these relatives. The lord is our strenght. As for the BIL, he must be an irresponsible man and also a mad mad, he must be treated as one. You dnt go about fighting for your kids without asking questions, this is one of the reasons why we have so many irresponsible and rude teanagers. Bad parents with their useless trainings. If you can't discipline your child and people can't help you in disciplining them, don't breed them at all because you will be answerable to those rubbish behaviours.

dayokanu:

So Jenny Is beating a 14yr old right in your books? if it was your own child beaten by a relative would you have sent flowers to them? At least we know what Nigerians call beating

Abeg stop this talk of what Nigerians call beating,that we see stories on NL doesn't mean that's how all Nigerians beat,atleast i had a mother who beat us when we went wrong,even relatives sef so stop making it sound as if all Nigerians use 4 by 4 ply wood to hit children

dayokanu:

So Jenny Is beating a 14yr old right in your books? if it was your own child beaten by a relative would you have sent flowers to them? At least we know what Nigerians call beating

Once upon a time just before i left nigeria, my cousin visited us from the states, she was used to mummy doing everything for her. She refused to make her own bed because according to her that was why we had a house help in the house that my parents pay. I told her twice to go clean her room and make her bed she refused, actually told me to shussh and let her concentrate on what she was watching.!So I went outside, plucked a cane and smacked her twice at the back with it and for the remaining 10 days she stayed with us, mad man did not need to tell her to watch the road before crossing.

I hope I have answered your question or do you want me to tell you another story of my friends 6 year old son who told me to shut up and got a smack in his behind and to top it up, my friend dashed him another one on his butt cheeks fr telling me to shut up?

freecocoa: Abeg stop this talk of what Nigerians call beating,that we see stories on NL doesn't mean that's how all Nigerians beat,atleast i had a mother who beat us when we went wrong,even relatives sef so stop making it sound as if all Nigerians use 4 by 4 ply wood to hit children

In the Nigerian tradition rules there is nothing wrong with beating a minor, Beating a woman, beating your houseboy, beating anyone you perceived weaker than you, poorer than you, Not as connected as you etc.

So going by the traditional rule No offence commited by both parties

Agree or disagree

dayokanu:

In the Nigerian tradition rules there is nothing wrong with beating a minor, Beating a woman, beating your houseboy, beating anyone you perceived weaker than you, poorer than you, Not as connected as you etc.

So going by the traditional rule No offence commited by both parties

Agree or disagree

People got different upbringing, my dad never hit my mother even when she drove him nuts, he taught his sons not to hit a woman, but he never stopped my mother from hitting us as kids when we messed up

dayokanu:

In the Nigerian tradition rules there is nothing wrong with beating a minor, Beating a woman, beating your houseboy, beating anyone you perceived weaker than you, poorer than you, Not as connected as you etc.

So going by the traditional rule No offence commited by both parties

Agree or disagree

My dear its not as straight as you paint it so there nothing like "Agree or disagree" here.

Actually by the traditional rule it is an offense to hit someone's wife,if there's anywhere i've seen many Nigerians refrain from beating someone,its usually a case of "leave am o na person wife" as far as we are concerned here,it is not a crime to use mild beating to correct an erring child.

jennykadry:

People got different upbringing, my dad never hit my mother even when she drove him nuts, he taught his sons not to hit a woman, but he never stopped my mother from hitting us as kids when we messed up

Thats just your household,

There are some household where nobody was beaten whether wife or kids or househepls or drivers

There are some household where Only the kids were beaten

There were some household where ONLY the wife was beaten. i know a man who would never touch his children yet treats his wives like housemaids

There are some households where they dont beat wife and kids but Househelps and drivers were beating like drums in Celestial church.

^^ With all due respect to your parents, did your dad ever hit your mum? Seeing that she is the weaker vessel?

freecocoa: My dear its not as straight as you paint it so there nothing like "Agree or disagree" here.

Actually by the traditional rule it is an offense to hit someone's wife,if there's anywhere i've seen many Nigerians refrain from beating someone,its usually a case of "leave am o na person wife" as far as we are concerned here,it is not a crime to use mild beating to correct an erring child.

In most Naija cultures the Wife is seen as the family's property.

When the husband dies, they share the wife as part of the property. Beating your wife is not unacceptable in most naija cultures

Actually some religion prescribed "light beating" of the wife. The wife was not beaten by an outsider, She was beaten by a member of the family

So if we are to go strictly by naija traditional culture both of them havent done anything wrong

But in modern culture both of them would be in jail, Possibly the womans offence would even be worse

jennykadry: ^^ With all due respect to your parents, did your dad ever hit your mum? Seeing that she is the weaker vessel?

My dad beat us kids but didnt beat my mom, But thats just a family

We cant pretend there are no ppl beating their wifes. infact years back I would say wife beating happens in majority of households.

Regardless of what people might think, a lot of people in Nigeria were brought up well. I don't Just know, I have seen cases.

dayokanu:

My dad beat us kids but didnt beat my mom, But thats just a family

We cant pretend there are no ppl beating their wifes. infact years back I would say wife beating happens in majority of households.

So it isn't just in my household then?

This is not wife beating, this is inlaw beating. Even the man that paid her bride price has not slapped her, so what gives a BIL the balls to do so

safarigirl: Firstly, how dare the woman slap her niece? She wasn't in any capacity to do that irrespective of what the gurl did. Knowing that the gurl's parents are neither dead nor disabled, not even poor apparently, it's not like she was doing them a favor, on the contrary, they were probably trying to make her stay in the family liveable by sending their kid, knowing she'd need help. If the gurl had offended her in any way, she would have reported this to her husband who would have been in a better position to discipline the gurl. No be she born pikin, she no dey related to the pikin, yet, she's beating her. Would she like if she sent her daughter to stay with her in-law and the man's wife beat her? The BIL was wrong, fine and good, no matter the wrong, a man shouldn't hit a woman for any reason, but he hadn't done it, his wife would have, and it would still get to the point of brother against brother. This is why relatives should be kept at a safe distance in marriage.

I am completely with you on this one. The man is wrong for beating her (he could have just confronted and berated her) but she is very likely wrong for slapping the niece. Our nigerian people need to learn their boundaries, someone else's teenage daughter was sent to your home to help you and it's not that her parents are desperate or poor and you repay them by beating up the girl. If she's out of control in your house, send her back to her own house instead of beating her up. This is not a 5yr old we are talking about but a teenager, the child of your inlaw at that. She get liver o. Am I an alien or something? Who born me to be beating my inlaw's child? Honestly, the person I feel bad for in this situation is the girl.

All of you claiming the woman shouldn't have hit the girl, tomorrow when the girl is rude to someone in front of her parents, who do you think will take the blame for the girls rudeness. This same BIL will be the first to point fingers at the woman and claim his daugther learnt it from her, afterall he dropped his daugther with his brothers wife to be trained.

Dede1:
Please do not slap any relative of your husband living with you.

It's that simple o.

I was disciplined by mum whilst growing up, even at that age(14) I still chopped beating from relatives. We were not beaten blue and black, but we got something.

Nonsense

steph7: All of you claiming the woman shouldn't have hit the girl, tomorrow when the girl is rude to someone in front of her parents, who do you think will take the blame for the girls rudeness. This same BIL will be the first to point fingers at the woman and claim his daugther learnt it from her, afterall he dropped his daugther with his brothers wife to be trained.

So in your opinion hitting a minor is OK?

if hitting a minor who is considered a child under law is OK, A child who most likely cant defend herself is OK, Then why should hitting an adult not be OK?

Most of us were beaten while growing up, it doesnt mean its right, Its the culture of beating people weaker than you that has spread. The wife beat a weaker minor, the BIL beats a weaker wife. T1t for tat

If Colonel thinks its Okay to beat Sergeant, So why cant General beat Colonel?

jennykadry: I was disciplined by mum whilst growing up, even at that age(14) I still chopped beating from relatives. We were not beaten blue and black, but we got something.

Nonsense

Beating is not a prerequisite to being a good person. many ppl who werent beaten turned out to be exemplary individuals

The way i was beaten as a youth, I can never beat anyone like that. My Parents did that because they didnt know better

dayokanu:

In most Naija cultures the Wife is seen as the family's property.

When the husband dies, they share the wife as part of the property. Beating your wife is not unacceptable in most naija cultures

Actually some religion prescribed "light beating" of the wife. The wife was not beaten by an outsider, She was beaten by a member of the family

So if we are to go strictly by naija traditional culture both of them havent done anything wrong

But in modern culture both of them would be in jail, Possibly the womans offence would even be worse

My dear the part of Nigeria where i come from,beating your wife attracts a fine if she reports you to your kins men (infidelity is the only reason why they may support you)let alone an outsider beating her.

Religion especially christianity is taking over many cultures in naija so most of those things are being outdated,if you are talking about before i was born then i won't argue with you.

But even with all the modernity now,correctly a child with mild beating is not a crime in nigeria.

Unless the woman in the story battered the child mercilessly or batters her at the slightest provocation,if not i'll say her dad has a beef with the woman,he just used the slapping of his child as an excuse to do what he has been wanting to do.

dayokanu:

So in your opinion hitting a minor is OK?

if hitting a minor who is considered a child under law is OK, A child who most likely cant defend herself is OK, Then why should hitting an adult not be OK?

Most of us were beaten while growing up, it doesnt mean its right, Its the culture of beating people weaker than you that has spread. The wife beat a weaker minor, the BIL beats a weaker wife. T1t for tat

If Colonel thinks its Okay to beat Sergeant, So why cant General beat Colonel?

we are in nigeria, I don't think I know any family that says they don't beat their kids. The point here remains the girl was dropped in a relatives house to do chores and be trained to be a better person. I'm sure the woman in question beats her own kids. Do I believe spanking kids works - YES!if the father didn't want his daugther spanked he should have tot her some manners before sending her to another person's house

dayokanu:

Beating is not a prerequisite to being a good person. many ppl who werent beaten turned out to be exemplary individuals

The way i was beaten as a youth, I can never beat anyone like that. My Parents did that because they didnt know better

Did you turn out well or not?

I wasn't beaten with wires, cables, sticks or deadly objects but I was smacked with a nice well shaped sand papered cane.

No one has said those that Never got smacked turned to losers, you are the one saying that.

If a child errs that child gets either the smack or talks in Nigeria. We all got that and we are still alive

ronkebp:

oH!!!! SO FOR YOUR brother to raise his hands against your wife, is teaching her a lesson? isn't that so?

hmmmmm!~!!! okay ooooo....

why would my brother raise his hands against my wife? i don't move around violent women and if i ever marry a woman that raises her hands against another man's kids then she deserves whatever she gets from there - no quarter given!

steph7: we are in nigeria, I don't think I know any family that says they don't beat their kids. The point here remains the girl was dropped in a relatives house to do chores and be trained to be a better person. I'm sure the woman in question beats her own kids. Do I believe spanking kids works - YES!if the father didn't want his daugther spanked he should have tot her some manners before sending her to another person's house

Are you sure when the child was dropped there they told the wife she is allowed to beat her?

First thing you say is we are in Nigeria. If we are in Nigeria then anything goes. I can beat my houseboy, driver, If i am driving and okadaman bash my car, I can drop and beat him, I can beat my wife, I can beat my wife, i can beat anyone since WE ARE IN NIGERIA

Nigerians. The way we talk one will get the impression that beating people is the only way to teach them proper behavior.

dayokanu:

In the Nigerian tradition rules there is nothing wrong with beating a minor, Beating a woman, beating your houseboy, beating anyone you perceived weaker than you, poorer than you, Not as connected as you etc.

So going by the traditional rule No offence commited by both parties

Agree or disagree

@DAYO,

YOU SEE THE POINT MISSING HERE IS NOT ABOUT A MINOR BEING BEATEN AS ASSERTED.

IT IS ABOUT THE WIFE RAISING HER HAND TO BEAT HER MOTHER-IN-LAW .

THE CULTURAL AND TRADITIONAL RULE IS THAT YOU DON'T BEAT YOUR IN-LAW NO MATTER WHAT !!!!. THERE IS SO MUCH ADO ABOUT A WOMAN RESPECTING ALL HER IN-LAWS THAT ACCORDING TO TRADITION AND CULTURE, SHE IS NOT PERMITTED TO CALL THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME NO MATTER HOW SHE IS NOT TO TALK OF BEATING AN IN-LAW.

THAT IS THE STANDARD TRADITION AND CULTURE IN YORUBA LAND

SO ALL PARTIES INVOLVED ARE GUILTY IN THIS CASE.

dayokanu:

Are you sure when the child was dropped there they told the wife she is allowed to beat her?

First thing you say is we are in Nigeria. If we are in Nigeria then anything goes. I can beat my houseboy, driver, If i am driving and okadaman bash my car, I can drop and beat him, I can beat my wife, I can beat my wife, i can beat anyone since WE ARE IN NIGERIA

You are talking as if the woman just woke up one morning and started beating the girl,na wa o.

jennykadry:

Did you turn out well or not?

I wasn't beaten with wires, cables, sticks or deadly objects but I was smacked with a nice well shaped sand papered cane.

No one has said those that Never got smacked turned to losers, you are the one saying that.

If a child errs that child gets either the smack or talks in Nigeria. We all got that and we are still alive

What does spanking achieve?

We have people who were spanked that turned into hardened criminals. I have some friends who were brought up as Deeper life like 10 of them. All 10 smoked like 6 joined Confra in school, One was jailed. All these kids were well beaten when growing up.

Likewise we have ppl who werent spanked that turned out good.

So If there is no evidence to prove Spanked children turn out better than others then whats the point of Spanking other than to satisfy our sadistic inclinations