The issue of call the police, report to the authority, hire tug or the man does not beat a woman is the school of thought that constituted one of the major reasons Africans found themselves in socio-politico-economic dire strait. Most of the times, few Africans tend to jump line into blindside of European view in order to achieve their skewed ends without logical or cultural examination of the fact.

The usual suspects on this thread are all on the high side of the madam and yelling or inquiring why madam did not call police or hire thugs or report to the authority. However, they foolishly forgot the angle of the incident which calls for “child abuse” on the part of the madam. If we have to go European, the madam should not have put her fifty hands on a minor in the first instance.

If the teenage girl living with her uncle is misbehaving, the madam should have called the attention of her husband to issue instead of beating the girl. If she had allowed her husband to handle the issue or discipline the girl, the dictate of our culture would not have called for swift reprisal.

All this made up fake stories self that always make front page.

Ahhhh!!!!!

drnoel:

I believe that only a lady can make the statement u made and go free making that statement. Even when my elder one told me they restrained him, I can confidently tell u, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I didnt want to hear something like that. I found it unfair then, but after I opened this thread I have spoke to my elder one and some older relatives about the issue. I realised as we were discussing the issue, that although my relatives restrainting him at that time may not have been the best thing to do but it certainly was the wisest. Yes, his wife was not happy on hearing that cos she now believes she doesn´t have any allies among us (her in-laws) and I don´t mean any disrespect by saying this but "women see things only in certain ways (pls someone correct me if am wrong).
I have repeatedly assured my cousin´s wife, that she should be patient and that the issue would be tackled appropriately. Have told her that it was clear she was wronged but that it has to be tackled by the family cos the slap was not just an insult to her but also to her husband and her husband´s people.

what kinda brain does that man have in his skull i think that woman who was slapped husband too should go and give his elder brothers wife repeated slaps too. That way the man will no what it feels like ant there wunt be any need to resolve any issues. Since they held him back in oder th fight his elder brother......

drnoel:

I believe that only a lady can make the statement u made and go free making that statement. Even when my elder one told me they restrained him, I can confidently tell u, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I didnt want to hear something like that. I found it unfair then, but after I opened this thread I have spoke to my elder one and some older relatives about the issue. I realised as we were discussing the issue, that although my relatives restrainting him at that time may not have been the best thing to do but it certainly was the wisest. Yes, his wife was not happy on hearing that cos she now believes she doesn´t have any allies among us (her in-laws) and I don´t mean any disrespect by saying this but "women see things only in certain ways (pls someone correct me if am wrong).
I have repeatedly assured my cousin´s wife, that she should be patient and that the issue would be tackled appropriately. Have told her that it was clear she was wronged but that it has to be tackled by the family cos the slap was not just an insult to her but also to her husband and her husband´s people.

ur so wroooooong abt women dear,anger is justified bt wat is nt,is wat u do wen ur angry,its natural d woman feels d hubby shld go n fight n dat dos nt mean dat a man wudnt feel same if in dat circumstance

en guys / damsels

if your boss does wrong to you , and you go to the HR dept and he gets a warning letter---do you think you will grow in that company-----------the channces are very slim ecept you are too --too good

however,

the wise one says two wrongs cant make a good one.

i have a personnal experience--a woman sent her 10yr old in law packing after steeling meat from the pot with no swabbles of any sought. but the boys mother says the son was covered with shame.
within a year the woman lost a kid to this experience.dont ask me how i got to know---- they were all pagan as at that time.
the real question is who actualy won and who lost.

i would encorage NL TO state their status when replying to issues like this,
i can catigorically say all those calling for war war in this post are not married or inexperience in niger dealings on marriage stuffs-----dont mean to insult any one, just that many people will get a wrong lesson form wrong teachers and they would say they got it from the internet

as the bible says b4 you go to war count the cost.

taryour:

what kinda brain does that man have in his skull i think that woman who was slapped husband too should go and give his elder brothers wife repeated slaps too. That way the man will no what it feels like ant there wunt be any need to resolve any issues. Since they held him back in oder th fight his elder brother......

The man who slapped the madam had thinking brain in his skull. He should not only slap the madam but also report the madam to the authorities for child abuse.

Mr--Why:
All this made up fake stories self that always make front page.

Ahhhh!!!!!

mr why,weather fake or real,pple learn 4rm it

What a rude and callous brother in law. He is sane and doesn't have respect for his own brother either. Cos if do he wait till he meets with him or even talk with the woman to know what warranted her to beat the girl. Even if the woman if the woman requested for the girls to come over to be assisting her on house chores, should dat warrant the little girl to disrespect her aunty? What is wrong to discipline a child for wrong doings? I could beat my sister or niece if they do anything dat warrant it and any of them that cannot take discipline but would insult me should just spare me the visit.

jennykadry: ^^ so in clear words, it was okay slapping his wife? Chineke ekwela ihie ojo

@Jennykadry this is a very delicate matter if you are married.I tell you people talk of revenge immediately and still go to church, RCCG,Winners,CEC and so on,clapping and dancing as if heaven is just 1 mile away.

@OP, pls continue advising your cousin's wife.She can handle the issue with her husband and still maintain her pride,though beating the husband's niece is not to her advantage at all. She should find a way of handling the house duties not requiring any help.There are some automated machines that can help + the husband can add some helping hand in the house,thereby cutting off interference from people.

[size=14pt]Mario Puzzo said 'Never you allow anger to blind your reasoning,don't make decision when you are angry'.
[/size]

This case is SO DAMN SERIOUS!! in fact, i just don't know where to start from. That's why i'm not in support of in-laws staying with newly married couples. Especially if the age gap isn't much. But in this case, that's not even what triggered it. What's bad in one beating/correcting a minor leaving under ur roof and eating ur food? If anythg goes wrong in that person's life, won't you be accountable?? Just the same way u're free to discipline any such person. That niece must leave the house with immediate effect and never to come back. The husband needs to NOTE that none of his siblings is allowed to spend the night in that house any longer, that era has passed. Being his elder brother, there's little or nothg the hubby can do. He should just distance himself from the entire family so they'll feel his pain and talk sense into the idiot of a big broda to go and beg the couple he's wronged. I can't even imagine how the poor lady feels now.

chii8: ur so wroooooong abt women dear,anger is justified bt wat is nt,is wat u do wen ur angry,its natural d woman feels d hubby shld go n fight n dat dos nt mean dat a man wudnt feel same if in dat circumstance

that does not advise the person on what to do

Chivivian125: Respect is reciprocal,d man has lost it..even force men dont beat ladies not to talk of someone's wife

The forcemen do sometimes.

Firstly, how dare the woman slap her niece? She wasn't in any capacity to do that irrespective of what the gurl did. Knowing that the gurl's parents are neither dead nor disabled, not even poor apparently, it's not like she was doing them a favor, on the contrary, they were probably trying to make her stay in the family liveable by sending their kid, knowing she'd need help. If the gurl had offended her in any way, she would have reported this to her husband who would have been in a better position to discipline the gurl. No be she born pikin, she no dey related to the pikin, yet, she's beating her. Would she like if she sent her daughter to stay with her in-law and the man's wife beat her? The BIL was wrong, fine and good, no matter the wrong, a man shouldn't hit a woman for any reason, but he hadn't done it, his wife would have, and it would still get to the point of brother against brother. This is why relatives should be kept at a safe distance in marriage.

drnoel:

Believe me in clear words its neva ok slapping a lady talk less of ur brother's wife. But like some said earliar on the deed had been done, its things that come later if not handled properly that can destroy things. Me for one, I don't think I can just watch and see a man slap my wife (God 4bid) without giving him one back. That said, it still may not be the best thing to do and am glad am not in the position to find out. My wife is even very angry with my elder brother 4 getting involved. Still facts remain the same, my cousin´s wife was slapped repeatedly by her husbands elder brother. Her husband was retsrained by relatives from retaliating. I just heard today that a family meeting has been scheduled to take place at (a neutral place) my elder ones house since he is older than the two parties. We are all to come with our wives.

What kind of family do you have in your place? your brother slapping your wife? I cannot comprehend it really. For starters, It has never happened in my extended family, the closest i heard was when a cousin of mine insulted another of my cousin's wife, he was summarily sent back to his father. We are just too cultured for that type of nonesense. If it ever happened to me, i do not think my reaction will be to draw blood, but believe me, it will be to your tents O Israel. Family would come to an end and we will re-define family not in teh African context but within the 'nuclear family' context. What madness is that? so if an outsider slaps your cousin's wife, what would the husband's bother do? should you be protecting yourselves in the family both extended and nuclear. Please read Mario Puzzo's 'The Family'. As a rule in my extended family, we never disagree when there is a third party present. We can always reconvene and apportion blames in-house, but outside, we remain a formidable one-entity. What rubbish

safarigirl: Firstly, how dare the woman slap her niece? She wasn't in any capacity to do that irrespective of what the gurl did. Knowing that the gurl's parents are neither dead nor disabled, not even poor apparently, it's not like she was doing them a favor, on the contrary, they were probably trying to make her stay in the family liveable by sending their kid, knowing she'd need help. If the gurl had offended her in any way, she would have reported this to her husband who would have been in a better position to discipline the gurl. No be she born pikin, she no dey related to the pikin, yet, she's beating her. Would she like if she sent her daughter to stay with her in-law and the man's wife beat her? The BIL was wrong, fine and good, no matter the wrong, a man shouldn't hit a woman for any reason, but he hadn't done it, his wife would have, and it would still get to the point of brother against brother. This is why relatives should be kept at a safe distance in marriage.

What the hell are you talking about

Reporting a 14-yr old who lives with you to her parents When you can give her one back-hand slap on the spot.

The in-laws were very very wrong to attack the woman just because she disciplined their kid.

But I think there must have been some other issues. How can a man slap his daughter in law just because she disciplined her daughter? I'm still shocked!

safarigirl: Firstly, how dare the woman slap her niece? She wasn't in any capacity to do that irrespective of what the gurl did. Knowing that the gurl's parents are neither dead nor disabled, not even poor apparently, it's not like she was doing them a favor, on the contrary, they were probably trying to make her stay in the family liveable by sending their kid, knowing she'd need help. If the gurl had offended her in any way, she would have reported this to her husband who would have been in a better position to discipline the gurl. No be she born pikin, she no dey related to the pikin, yet, she's beating her. Would she like if she sent her daughter to stay with her in-law and the man's wife beat her? The BIL was wrong, fine and good, no matter the wrong, a man shouldn't hit a woman for any reason, but he hadn't done it, his wife would have, and it would still get to the point of brother against brother. This is why relatives should be kept at a safe distance in marriage.

This your talk get comma o,the child is under her care,why shouldn't she take disciplinary measures?

This is Nigeria my sister and the girl is an adolescent,we all know how they behave when they get to certain age,apparently the girl is a spoilt child,for her dad to just walk up straight to the madam with resounding slaps,it shows he doesn't train his child well,atleast he could have heard from the madam before taking any action(s),he's just a stup1d man and soon enough that girl will start slapping him,nonsense.

ifyalways: I think restraining the man is a wise decision, a deed that must be done.

God forbid this happened to me, I know I'll join in ratraining my husband because hmmm, he can kill his brother/uncle in that rage.

Done is done. The husband needs to send "signals" to his brother or whoever battered the wife that such an act, should not, under any circumstance repeat itself. Don't ask me how he'll send the "signal" oh. Lol

The little girl has to be sent back to her people immediately. A strict rule for all relatives put in place from henceforth.

Babe, You nor go restrain me if I be ur husband O. If as a husband to my wife, I have neva hit her, the thot of anoda man hitting her will make it difficult to restrain me. i will definitely control the actions (I wont hit him) but I will talk sense to him and demand a full apology to my wife. apology to be made in the presence of all those who witnessed the beating. after that, I will also apologise for my wife beating the niece as She really should have used corporal punishment. beating is unacceptable for disciplining a teenager.

jennykadry: Why did you people restrain him? Is the situation not bad as it is? A man's wife was slapped and you retrained him?

You must be kidding me,both the restrainer and the restrainee are kidding me

thank you O jare. when you beat a Man's wife U have also beaten the man O. it is the worst way for an elder brother to insult You. although, like i said earlier, I wont degrade to fisticuffs sha

We so much love sensational stories, stories about women being abused surely attracts so much sentimental comments. Let us be fair in reporting all sides of the story in an incident because one day you might be the victim of same calumnious report.

Ujujoan:

What the hell are you talking about

Reporting a 14-yr old who lives with you to her parents When you can give her one back-hand slap on the spot.

The in-laws were very very wrong to attack the woman just because she disciplined their kid.

But I think there must have been some other issues. How can a man slap his daughter in law just because she disciplined her daughter? I'm still shocked!

If the hat fits the head, just wear it. It is all in the name of discipline. The man discipline the madam as she discipline the teenage 14 year old girl.

When divorce shows face, the wife and her relatives would want to send the husband to his forbearers. But the brother and niece of the husband will always stand behind him. So with this in mind, wife should be extremely careful when dealing with family issues as they relate to husband’s family.

Well, wot am certain of is that neither of d parties involve are right. I mean all of them (niece,husband,wife and husband brother). Wen u're staying wit ur brother, that is wen u shld behave well d most. As 4 d wife, in nigerian cultural settings she has no rite 2 beat her husband pple either small or old. Rather custom demands that she respect them, even some 2 d extent of not calling them by their names (Yoruba). As 4 d husband, if it was an outsider that beat his wife up, will he have torn his clothes thier. Wot if he can't handle d person in question e.g(agbepo) . 2 d brother, wot he did has no name other than a stupid response as an elder. He shld be ashamed of himself. My solution 2 all dis is that, d brother beg his brother and d wife and d little girl be dealt wit, cus that does not dispute d fact that she course dis all. Dis time around by d husband and not d wife. And she shld continue leaving wit them 2 really show that they have move on 4rm d issue. Note dis is needed in other not 2 send signal 2 d girl that she was right

Water9430: Well, wot am certain of is that neither of d parties involve are right. I mean all of them (niece,husband,wife and husband brother). Wen u're staying wit ur brother, that is wen u shld behave well d most. As 4 d wife, in nigerian cultural settings she has no rite 2 beat her husband pple either small or old. Rather custom demands that she respect them, even some 2 d extent of not calling them by their names (Yoruba). As 4 d husband, if it was an outsider that beat his wife up, will he have torn his clothes thier. Wot if he can't handle d person in question e.g(agbepo) . 2 d brother, wot he did has no name other than a stupid response as an elder. He shld be ashamed of himself. My solution 2 all dis is that, d brother beg his brother and d wife and d little girl be dealt wit, cus that does not dispute d fact that she course dis all. Dis time around by d husband and not d wife. And she shld continue leaving wit them 2 really show that they have move on 4rm d issue. Note dis is needed in other not 2 send signal 2 d girl that she was right

What are you people saying abeg? In which Nigerian custom is it not allowed to discipline a kid living with you,in-law or not? If the woman inflicted injuries or beat the child beyond what is ordinary would have been another case,but from what i garner from this story is that its just the normal spanking a mother would do to her child,na wa o.

.

I have been in a situation where my hubby's elder brother told me to leave their house or he'd slap me.My hubby got up,rushed to him and told him to try it and see what he can do,he built d house and no one can send his wife out of it but him.
For people talking about child abuse,its obvious most of u will produce citizens who like their western counter-parts will tell their parents to shut up,beat them up and/or disrecpect them openly.
I will spank,discipline and punish my kids until they are 17 and/or are no longer my responsibility.And by God's grace,they'll be good ciizens of the world,respectful,responsible,God-fearing,hardworking and sensible.

As for the slapping brother inlaw.He is lucky the woman doesn't have a brother like mine cos my brother won't take any man beating his sisters and he states it clearly to any intending husband-to-be or boyfriend of his sisters.

Its an insult on a man for another man to lay his hand on his wife,the disrespecting man would jus have told him indirectly that he's a weakling and can't do nothing

freecocoa: What are you people saying abeg? In which Nigerian custom is it not allowed to discipline a kid living with you,in-law or not? If the woman inflicted injuries or beat the child beyond what is ordinary would have been another case,but from what i garner from this story is that its just the normal spanking a mother would do to her child,na wa o.

You are sounding like a wicked woman. If you slap my daughter, which is a child abuse, you will be kicked. Thank goodness you remembered it is normal spanking a mother gives to a daughter. However from the story, the madam is not the mother of the teenage girl. Please do not slap any relative of your husband living with you.

The brother inlaw is an irresponsible human being,he has no respect for neither his brother nor his wife,one day someone will beat up his wife also
so that he will have a feel of what it looks like.
Then the husband to the beaten woman should sepatate his immediate family(wife and kids) from his other family,cos he is part of the cauae of this nonesense.lastly,that stupid brother inlaw should be banned/stopped outrigthly from entering his house henceforth.

Lexoria: I have been in a situation where my hubby's elder brother told me to leave their house or he'd slap me.My hubby got up,rushed to him and told him to try it and see what he can do,he built d house and no one can send his wife out of it but him.
For people talking about child abuse,its obvious most of u will produce citizens who like their western counter-parts will tell their parents to shut up,beat them up and/or disrecpect them openly.
I will spank,discipline and punish my kids until they are 17 and/or are no longer my responsibility.And by God's grace,they'll be good ciizens of the world,respectful,responsible,God-fearing,hardworking and sensible.

As for the slapping brother inlaw.He is lucky the woman doesn't have a brother like mine cos my brother won't take any man beating his sisters and he states it clearly to any intending husband-to-be or boyfriend of his sisters.

Its an insult on a man for another man to lay his hand on his wife,the disrespecting man would jus have told him indirectly that he's a weakling and can't do nothing

I guess your brother equally informed you not to slap your husband relatives. Who cares if you slap your kids blue and red?

Ah the famous “Nigerian Culture” where wives are slaves to their husbands people. They can be beaten, slapped and insulted, however they have no right to reprimand a rude 14yrs old who lives with them, eats their food and drinks their water because technically, the 14yrs old is than them. Why, wifey shouldn't even be calling them by their names. . .where is the respect in that?

Someone actually said for the fact that he doesn’t beat his wife, no one can. Begs the questions . . .does that mean if you beat her, every Tom, D!ccck and Harry is allowed to then? Hmmm!

Another one, a woman, for that matter says the lady who got beaten to a pulp should have waited for her husband to come home and then report the 14yrs old child. Hmmm, Nigerian Culture breeding a generation of woman-child, who now “Tell my husband for you”.

What I find most interesting is the people waiting to hear “the other side” of the story. A woman gets a beat down because she reprimanded a child and some people are talking about the “other side of the story”. I guess they are waiting to hear horror stories that justify the beating. After all it is the way of the Nigerian Culture. . .Whatever happens to a woman, she must have done something to deserve it.

The Nigerian Culture. . .No wonder all the other countries are lining up in droves to adopt it!

IT IS THE TRADITION AND YORUBA CULTURE.


AS A WOMAN, YOU DON'T BEAT YOUR IN-LAW FOR ANY REASON. THE GIRL SHE BEAT IS ASSUMED TO BE HER MOTHER-IN LAW AND THAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE REASON THE FOOLISH MAN INSTEAD OF TAKING HIS DAUGTHER AWAY ASSAULTED THE NOT WELL TRAINED LADY.

LADIES SHOULD LEARN TO BE DILIGENT ENOUGH NOT TO GIVE ROOM FOR ANY FAMILY MEMBER TO COME HELP YOU.

WHY NOT BRING YOUR OWN SIBLINGS TO HELP YOU FORTHNIGHTLY / WEEKENDS AND GO HOME ON SUNDAY.

WICKED AND LAZY GENERATION. I KEPT WONDERING WHY MY MOTHER NEVER HAD ANY HOUSE HELP AND YET I REMEMBER POUNDED YAM AS LUNCH ON OUR TIME TABLE ON WEDNESDAYS. DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE WORKS IN A FORMAL ORGANIZATION FROM 8-6 AND SHE DOES NOT PREPARE IT IN THE MORNING.


-- MY CENT

@All, the scripture "lead us not into temptation..." Was what came to my mind after reading this story and tried putting myself in the position of the beaten woman's husband. If anyone should assault my wife!!! Only my reflex can tell what I can do to the offender.

asemota2012: The brother inlaw is an irresponsible human being,he has no respect for neither his brother nor his wife,one day someone will beat up his wife also
so that he will have a feel of what it looks like.
Then the husband to the beaten woman should sepatate his immediate family(wife and kids) from his other family,cos he is part of the cauae of this nonesense.lastly,that stupid brother inlaw should be banned/stopped outrigthly from entering his house henceforth.

Nobody will beat up the brother-in-law’s wife as long as she did not slap another couples’ daughter.

dammytosh: IT IS THE TRADITION AND YORUBA CULTURE.


AS A WOMAN, YOU DON'T BEAT YOUR IN-LAW FOR ANY REASON. THE GIRL SHE BEAT IS ASSUMED TO BE HER MOTHER-IN LAW AND THAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE REASON THE FOOLISH MAN INSTEAD OF TAKING HIS DAUGTHER AWAY ASSAULTED THE NOT WELL TRAINED LADY.

LADIES SHOULD LEARN TO BE DILIGENT ENOUGH NOT TO GIVE ROOM FOR ANY FAMILY MEMBER TO COME HELP YOU.

WHY NOT BRING YOUR OWN SIBLINGS TO HELP YOU FORTHNIGHTLY / WEEKENDS AND GO HOME ON SUNDAY.


-- MY CENT

I do not agree about that yoruba culture thing u are saying at all and how do u know what tribe the family is from?