dammytosh:

I think it is wicked to assert that i dont see any wrong in beating up the woman. Nobody can touch my wife cos i am wise enough to protect and prevent her from getting to that level.
The simple law is that no inlaw comes to stay with us and i still maintain that it is wrong to beat an in-law whether you are a lady or a guy.

And throughout my post i did not insult any one to warrant any insult.

Dammy did you think my post here was for you? though!! you are of the school of thought that the 14year old is her MIL.

In Nigeria, how many of ur children calls on police when u shout @ them, even beat them up?
how many times has ur wife called police on u for battering her or even for isolating ur manly responsiblities @ home?
How men can take it when a woman relax in parlor and watch her fivorites sport channels etc while the man prepare food in the kitchen? what's wrong with these things,our culture isnt it?
Nonsense!! i dont get, it is that we cannot be honest and tell ouselves the truth? we have a conservative culture, we tend to have this we feelings. when it come to families we are supposed to be keepers. she only beat the girl and she did not kill her so what's the drama abt? the girl herself is rude and is not well brought up to have reported her aunty to her father instead of the husband if she was that hurt. In as much as it's wrong to maltreat any child it's not a crime to discipline a child who did wrong. No sane man should Slap another man's wife cos the woman disciplined a child. was there any bruis or cuts or was she beaten to coma to mean that she acted cruely to the girl? the man is not responsible at all. may be he used the avenue to avenge for something he has been nursing for the woman.

did someone say it's a taboo to beat a sister inlaw becos she is supposes to be a mother in law but she is free to insult and misbehave in my own house? to hell with that nonsense primitive taboo.

freecocoa: I honestly don't even know what to say to you again,your case is tiresome.

Really !! , then say you are sorry for saying i sounded moronic because i never insulted you.

That a lawyer states a section of the constituion does not mean he agrees with it. I only cited traditional and cultural rule that might make the BIL act shamelessly and i thought i mentioned that he should have withdrwan his daughter instead of foolishly slapping the wife.

I am so cultured that i will rather report my wife's siblings to her and not smack them, no matter how young they are.

ronkebp:

So Dayo, you cannot correct a 14 year old that is living with you? it does not matter what form of correction is given? because the same girl that reported to her dad she was slapped, will also report to him when she is asked to kneel down....so because she is 14 (minor) she is above correction.

You can talk to and scold. Thats correction. but physically touching a child is wrong no two ways about it. Because our culture allows it doesnt make it right.

Moreover it hasnt been proven anyway that beatiing a child makes them better. Else we wont have the level of decadence we have in Nigeria

dayokanu: The problem with Nigerians is that they dont see anything wrong as long as it doesnt happen to them

A man thinks beating him is wrong but doesnt see anything bad in beating wife, driver, or staff/Apprentice

A woman thinks beating her is wrong, But she doesnt see anything wrong in beating other women or househelp

The child thinks beating him/her is wrong but doesnt see anything wrong in beating his/her younger ones

Why cant we simply condemn all form of violence

So spanking/beating depending on the level, is wrong? I can see you will re-write the Bible.

dayokanu:

You can talk to and scold. Thats correction. but physically touching a child is wrong no two ways about it. Because our culture allows it doesnt make it right.

Moreover it hasnt been proven anyway that beatiing a child makes them better. Else we wont have the level of decadence we have in Nigeria

Why did the Bible say it now!!!! why did Solomon say "spare the rod and spoil the child"?

ronkebp:

Dammy did you think my post here was for you? though!! you are of the school of thought that the 14year old is her MIL.

I am sure you are a Yoruba girl. May be in the diaspora, i dont really know. You can ask around, that is what the tradition and culture calls them.

I am not in any way using it to justify why the BIL should slap her but like i said, they are all wrong.

ronkebp:

So spanking/beating depending on the level, is wrong? I can see you will re-write the Bible.

Spanking and beating are violent acts. So what stops the child you spanked from spanking others too since his mom did it to him. We encourage violence in our acts directly and indirectly.

Bible? Should we go strictly by the bible? So for Moslems where the Koran states the man can beat his wife that is also right? or in the bible where there is nothing wrong with polygamy

is that our guiding principle right now? if we are to go by the bible tell me so i can bring out at least 5 tenets in the bible that you sef would shudder to think of abiding by.

In the bible is a woman allowed to speak in Public?

ronkebp:

Why did the Bible say it now!!!! why did Solomon say "spare the rod and spoil the child"?

the same bible said you are unclean during your period and you are not to be allowed to sit in any religious house.

dammytosh:

I am sure you are a Yoruba girl. May be in the diaspora, i dont really know. You can ask around, that is what the tradition and culture calls them.

I am not in any way using it to justify why the BIL should slap her but like i said, they are all wrong.

Forget tradition, do you personally believe that the 14 yr old is her MIL?

dayokanu:

Spanking and beating are violent acts. So what stops the child you spanked from spanking others too since his mom did it to him. We encourage violence in our acts directly and indirectly.

Bible? Should we go strictly by the bible? So for Moslems where the Koran states the man can beat his wife that is also right? or in the bible where there is nothing wrong with polygamy

is that our guiding principle right now? if we are to go by the bible tell me so i can bring out at least 5 tenets in the bible that you sef would shudder to think of abiding by.

In the bible is a woman allowed to speak in Public?

In which Bible verse did you see that polygamy is allowed ? so you are saying the Bible is wrong for allowing it?

ronkebp:

Forget tradition, do you personally believe that the 14 yr old is her MIL?

If i forget tradition and my elder brother does not forget tradition. I guess it is safer that they are on their own and we are on our own.

Seeing once in a while will not lead to any form of quarrel.

I can protect my wife with my life but i would have taught her how not to risk my life in unnecessary and unwarranted situations.

coogar:

the same bible said you are unclean during your period and you are not to be allowed to sit in any religious house.

That is an arguement for another day. you cannot use it as an example in a case like this.

ronkebp:

Why did the Bible say it now!!!! why did Solomon say "spare the rod and spoil the child"?

Which of the follwing verses in the bible do you agree with

"A man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man." (1 Cor. 11:7)

"But i suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man but to be in SILENCE 1 Timothy 2:12

"Notwitstanding she shall be saved through childbearing"

"For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." (I Corinthians 11:8-9)

ronkebp:

In which Bible verse did you see that polygamy is allowed ? so you are saying the Bible is wrong for allowing it?

Polygamy was encouraged in the bible All the men of God were Polygamist Abraham the father of faith, Jacob, Solomon and even the man after Gods heart David were Polygamist. And there was no place where it was denounced as bad

ronkebp:

That is an arguement for another day. you cannot use it as an example in a case like this.

ok then,
let's ignore a part of the bible and let's use another part that suits our agenda as a whip to flog others.
if we all follow what is written in the bible to the letter in this day and age, we would all be in maricopa county jail.

dayokanu:

Which of the follwing verses in the bible do you agree with

"A man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man." (1 Cor. 11:7)

"But i suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man but to be in SILENCE 1 Timothy 2:12

"Notwitstanding she shall be saved through childbearing"

"For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." (I Corinthians 11:8-9)

I agree with everything the Bible has said, i have not made any laws nor am i ready to start arguing about what the Bible has said. God is the head of the Man, and the Man is the head of the woman (no one is arguing with that) God made man from dust, woman was made from the man's rib. So what is your point

vanitty: Foolish family, stupid husband
It is the way you portray your husband/wife that they will be treated
I am 100% sure the man does not hold the wife in high regards in front of his relatives.

The wife should not even bother with the in-law.
Face the husband squarely, by the time she finishes dealing with him, the in-law tries even calling her by name, the man would have responded with a violent bang.
My advice will only work if there is love/sanity in the hubby's heart for her though.

Arin fin oshi. The girl must have dragged herself so badly in front of them.

This cannot be far from the truth.

I remember my cousin that just got married earlier this year,she entered th e family and was trying to please everybody(inlaws) just to avoid quarrels,you need to see how they almost turned her to a maid(her husband traveled for a course abroad two months after the wedding and she asked me to come stay with her).

The man's brothers that are even younger than my cousin would eat and dump the plate for her,she'd be the one to wash,she'd be the one to go down stairs and get water when the one up stairs stops running,she'd be the one to sweep etc(with help from me) and she was already visibly pregnant o,to the point that one of the useless boys told me to prepare noodles for him one day,i fell out with him that day,gave him a piece of my mind,it wasn't funny at all.

When she realized she couldn't take it no more she reported to her husband on phone,this was just about 5 months into the marriage o,the man called and asked them to leave his house if they cannot be of help to his wife,that his wife is his wife and not their maid.

His mother wanted to make a case out of it,saying "so her sister can stay but she wants to chase your brothers from your house" but he didn't even give space for that,they left and when he came back,he called for a meeting and issued a decree on how he wants anyone who visits to behave,come and see how they all respect the lady today,that my cousin sef don wise up.

dayokanu:

Polygamy was encouraged in the bible All the men of God were Polygamist Abraham the father of faith, Jacob, Solomon and even the man after Gods heart David were Polygamist. And there was no place where it was denounced as bad

Who encouraged it? Christ or God? Did you ever think of why God chose Sarah instead of Hagai, or Rachel instead of Leah, or Bathsheeba (if i got the spelling right) instead of all those wives David packed together

coogar:

ok then,
let's ignore a part of the bible and let's use another part that suits our agenda as a whip to flog others.
if we all follow what is written in the bible to the letter in this day and age, we would all be in maricopa county jail.

And why did Christ come? so that we all can be enjoying the "Grace" that everyone is presently enjoying, which will soon be over.

ronkebp:

I agree with everything the Bible has said, i have not made any laws nor am i ready to start arguing about what the Bible has said. God is the head of the Man, and the Man is the head of the woman (no one is arguing with that) God made man from dust, woman was made from the man's rib. So what is your point

Are you always in silence whenever a man is talking like the bible prescribed? Were you created in the Glory of a man?

How women should be in a tent during menstruation and not speak to men.
How women are unclean after childbirth, oh also a verse states that women are not saved until they birth a child.

How about the clothes you wear? Are they mixed fiber? Cause that's not okay!!

People take these verses and interpret them to fit their lives and ignore others that do not benifit them at all.

If you say the Bible is the way you should be living, than put on your linen clothe and stand behind your man as you walk in public sit in the back of the church in silence and build yourself a tent for your mentstration cycle and don't even think about coming out till you're done.

ronkebp:

Who encouraged it? Christ or God? Did you ever think of why God chose Sarah instead of Hagai, or Rachel instead of Leah, or Bathsheeba (if i got the spelling right) instead of all those wives David packed together

Why did God choose racheal over Leah and Why did God choose Bathsheeba The wife David snatched from her husband and killed her husband in return

dayokanu:

Are you always in silence whenever a man is talking like the bible prescribed? Were you created in the Glory of a man?

How women should be in a tent during menstruation and not speak to men.
How women are unclean after childbirth, oh also a verse states that women are not saved until they birth a child.

How about the clothes you wear? Are they mixed fiber? Cause that's not okay!!

People take these verses and interpret them to fit their lives and ignore others that do not benifit them at all.

If you say the Bible is the way you should be living, than put on your linen clothe and stand behind your man as you walk in public sit in the back of the church in silence and build yourself a tent for your mentstration cycle and don't even think about coming out till you're done.

And why did Christ come? so that we all can be enjoying the "Grace" that everyone is presently enjoying, which will soon be over.

dayokanu:

Are you always in silence whenever a man is talking like the bible prescribed? Were you created in the Glory of a man?

How women should be in a tent during menstruation and not speak to men.
How women are unclean after childbirth, oh also a verse states that women are not saved until they birth a child.

How about the clothes you wear? Are they mixed fiber? Cause that's not okay!!

People take these verses and interpret them to fit their lives and ignore others that do not benifit them at all.

If you say the Bible is the way you should be living, than put on your linen clothe and stand behind your man as you walk in public sit in the back of the church in silence and build yourself a tent for your mentstration cycle and don't even think about coming out till you're done.

Do you go to church at all? Ever heard of the new testament?

dayokanu:

Why did God choose racheal over Leah and Why did God choose Bathsheeba The wife David snatched from her husband and killed her husband in return

Ask God Himself now....look up to the sky and say "Baba God, why now?".....

When God made Adam...how many women did he create from his ribs as recorded in the Bible?

freecocoa: Do you go to church at all? Ever heard of the new testament?

I quoted from 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy are those not in the new testament?

dayokanu:

I quoted from 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy are those not in the new testament?

Padi me abeg "Grace" has made everything new and i don't know what paul was telling the people of Corinth there but i know those laws don't apply no more.

vanitty: Foolish family, stupid husband. It is the way you portray your husband/wife that they will be treated
I am 100% sure the man does not hold the wife in high regards in front of his relatives.

This was exactly my Dad's response when my mom relayed this story to him.

Freecocoa, that your cousin in-law na correct man. If he hadn't done that, what happened to this woman could have happened to your cousin, even worse than that.

ferhyntorlah:

This was exactly my Dad's response when my mom relayed this story to him.

Freecocoa, that your cousin in-law na correct man. If he hadn't done that, what happened to this woman could have happened to your cousin, even worse than that.

My respect for him is maximum,he's what i call a real man,you need to see this man rocking\singing his boys to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night,he even tells me and the girl's mother to go back to sleep sometimes when we went for omugwo,he helps with the chore and still goes to work.

He's just great.

For the woman, I will advise her not to say anything and for me as the husband I will return the useless girl to the family house and will seriously warn my family to stay away from my wife and make them know what soever my wife did they don't have the right to do anything to her without my consent and for my younger brother I will give him the beating of his life for raising his voice against my wife, to show my anger I will not communicate with them again. I know somebody reading this will condem me but it was writen the the man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one, any insult to my wife is also to me, but I trust my family they will not dare that nonsense.....lop

freecocoa: Padi me abeg "Grace" has made everything new and i don't know what paul was telling the people of Corinth there but i know those laws don't apply no more.

Are you saying some laws in the bible have been cancelled? or what exactly are you saying? These exact passages are in the new testament so what is the point?