Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name - Family - Nairaland
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| Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 2:33pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
Its now a normal trend among married ladies, they dont completely replace their father's name with their husband's name. I believe the husband should be in full possession of the woman after wedding but she, still having to use her father name creates a notion that she still 'partly' belongs to her father. I can't allow my wife to retain father's name after our wedding oo. What do you guys think? 3 Likes |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Kobojunkie: 2:43pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
I pity the fool that will marry you @Poster. I mean any woman who willingly submits to a slave master like your person is likely in for some hell. While I am against the trend, considering the rising divorce rates in the country, I think I understand why some do it. They may not consciously admit it but I sense it is all about security.  23 Likes |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by coogar: 2:45pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
tendercharles: Its now a normal trend among married ladies, they dont completely replace their father's name with their husband's name. I believe the husband should be in full possession of the woman after wedding but she, still having to use her father name creates a notion that she still 'partly' belongs to her father. I can't allow my wife to retain father's name after our wedding oo. What do you guys think? unless the full bride price hasn't been paid by the husband, there's no reason any woman should attach her father's name after marriage! men who allow such are pussies! 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 2:56pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
Why don't you mind your own business? 10 Likes |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by LongOne1(m): 3:03pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
tendercharles: Its now a normal trend among married ladies, they dont completely replace their father's name with their husband's name. I believe the husband should be in full possession of the woman after wedding but she, still having to use her father name creates a notion that she still 'partly' belongs to her father. I can't allow my wife to retain father's name after our wedding oo. What do you guys think? They usually put their fathers name in the middle with a hyphen before the husband’s name (i.e. if her father's name is nairaland, her surname will be nairaland-tendercharles). If she is an only child, then don’t see what the fuss is about. Besides, my surname is already more than 11 characters long, so except she wants to run out of ink when writing, I doubt if she’ll want to add a middle name, lol. 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 3:15pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
stillwater: Why don't you mind your own business? Why should he? Don't you know that women are now slaves to them men? A woman retains her last name and she is in trouble, she keeps her last name and makes it a middle name before her husbands and her husband is automatically tagged a softie, I mean how dare he allow her keep her last name? He bought her so she must Do as he says, she goes to a diff church from her husbands and boom he wants a divorce. If a woman is successful and has a branded name, what is wrong with including her fathers name to her list of names? KHLOE KARDASHIAN-ODOM? NGOZI OKONJI IWEALA( is OKONJI her fathers name?) We have the likes of omotola who has been married for years to a very successful man, truth is some men who know what marriage is all about just cannot be bothered, there are tougher struggles ahead that they would rather concentrate on. It's like Genevieve nnaji's future husband whinging to the public that his wife refused to let go of her fathers name. Crazy Some of these hollywood celebrities still get to keep their names. Oh no, the men paid no bride price that's why 9 Likes |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by SisiKill1: 3:18pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
tendercharles: Its now a normal trend among married ladies, they dont completely replace their father's name with their husband's name[b]. I believe the husband should be in full possession of the woman after wedding but she, still having to use her father name creates a notion that she still 'partly' belongs to her father.[/b] I can't allow my wife to retain father's name after our wedding oo. What do you guys think?Hehehehehehehehe  jennykadry:You've said it all!!! 1 Like |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by dayokanu(m): 4:53pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
tendercharles: Its now a normal trend among married ladies, they dont completely replace their father's name with their husband's name. I believe the husband should be in full possession of the woman after wedding but she, still having to use her father name creates a notion that she still 'partly' belongs to her father. I can't allow my wife to retain father's name after our wedding oo. What do you guys think? OP, Interesting. So if the wife is in full possesion of the Husband, Who would the husband be in full possesion of? I would like to be in full possesion of some women here like Kobojunkie, sisikill, Jennykadry, tpia and those stubborn ones. After they are in my POSSESION, Am I allowed to put ropes on their neck and tie them to the stick backyard. Stuff their mouth with cloth and flog them mercilessly when they dont listen to their owner and masters. After marriage are they also allowed to keep their brain or that must be removed too? NONSENSE AND CONCOBILITY 2 Likes |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Kobojunkie: 4:56pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
@Jennykadry will bash your head in ooo .. . .  |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 5:02pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
Dayo egbe enu e dake  ashi. How many women d you want to own? And na the "stubborn ones" you pack. Try it now and see if your okonkobioko a.k.a weapon of mass destruction will not suffer from self inflicted stroke due to dehydration.1 Like |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by dayokanu(m): 5:18pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: @Jennykadry will bash your head in ooo .. . . Rope on her neck first and tie her to the lamp Post She talks? Stuff her mouth with cloth and buy special Koboko For your Possesion aka property |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 5:19pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: I pity the fool that will marry you @Poster. I mean any woman who willingly submits to a slave master like your person is likely in for some hell.So including her father's name is a sign of strenght? |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Afam4eva(m): 5:26pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: I pity the fool that will marry you @Poster. I mean any woman who willingly submits to a slave master like your person is likely in for some hell.What's the use of going into marriage if somewhere in your mind you're busy thinking of a possible divorce. It's either you're in or out. Marriage is for better or for worse. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Kobojunkie: 5:28pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
tendercharles:  |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Kobojunkie: 5:32pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
[size=13pt]7 REASONS MARRIED WOMEN KEEP THEIR LAST NAMES[/size] The question to change or not to change a woman’s last name is a humanist issue more than a feminist one. If you are an American woman who decides to get married, you will likely change your name. In fact, three million American women do so every year, roughly encompassing the 90 percent of women entering matrimonial bliss. This leaves the 10 percent of women who decided to keep their birth surnames, or the men who decide to change their own, navigating an interesting cultural landscape. Stephanie Coontz is the author of Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage and as Coontz informs us, people in medieval times took the name of the higher-status spouse when they married. But this trend reversed itself in America when women took over exclusive rights on the name change, which eventually evolved into a legal obligation. The rise of the feminist movement in the 1970s helped to change the laws, which included “states [requiring] married women to take their husbands’ names in order to engage in basic activities such as voting and driving.” So what urged women in the 1970s to hold onto their maiden names? In “Making a Name: Women’s Surnames at Marriage and Beyond,” Harvard Professor Claudia Goldin and graduate Maria Shim attribute this trend to age and experience. They write, “The legal, social and economic institutions supporting this custom began to shift in the 1970s: the laws that pressured women to take their husband’s names changed; the appellation ‘Ms.’ became acceptable; the age at first marriage rose; and the number of advanced academic degrees received by women increased.” And yet, the tendency stalled around the 1990s. As Goldin notes , the number of college-educated women in their 30s keeping their name dropped from 23 percent in 1990 to 17 percent in 2000. Rich Lowry , editor of the National Review, believes this is because people are now taking marriage more seriously. He further cites University of Virginia professor Steven Rhoads as declaring “I think it will strengthen marriage. It’s a sign that someone intends it to be a unit, that this is a marriage, and it is for the duration.” Whether Lowry or Rhoads speak for a woman’s choice certainly depends on the woman making it. Most have a personal anecdote as to why she, and sometimes he, decided to change her or his name. But ask anyone why they didn’t change her name, and you’re likely to invoke a new series of questions, including “What about your children, won’t they be confused?” And many times, “What does your husband think?” And finally, “Do you think women are anti-feminist who keep their name?” For women and men who hyphenate their two names, they might be asked: “What will your children do, hyphenate your already hyphenated names?” What you will get is a strong opinion. A surname is about identity, and what’s more personal than that? While some might see the act of keeping a maiden name as an indication of a woman’s independence or a play for personal power, the choice is an issue that can cause unwanted criticism for wanting to retain a lifelong identity whether from family, co-workers or the society at large. Plenty of contemporary influential women have changed their name without anyone questioning their feminism. Lady Margaret Thatcher (nee Roberts) is a name changer, as is First Lady Michelle Obama. Hillary Rodham reversed her decision after her husband’s gubernatorial loss in 1980, becoming Hillary Rodham Clinton. While this decision is personalized on many different levels, there can be some common ground. In the end, what are some of the reasons married women keep their maiden name? . . . . |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by coogar: 5:33pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
stillwater: Why don't you mind your own business? if everyone minded their business, there wouldn't be any point commenting on a public forum, don't you think? |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Kobojunkie: 5:35pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
 The act defines our society as patriarchal. Patriarchy is defined as “a form of social organization in which a male is the head of the family and descent, kinship, and title are traced through the male line.” Further, this is “any society governed by such a system.” We are by definition a patriarchal society because women change their names at marriage. It’s about ethnic identification. As Lisa Cupido writes for the Columbia News Service, Cara August was a bride who chose not to take her husband’s full name, Buikema. As Cupido writes of August, “If I kept his last name, I just know it would bring with it ideas about me that are not true. There are cultural and religious implications for example, I don’t want it to be assumed I’m Christian Reform because I have a Dutch last name. Their personal belief system differs from mine. I just really want to be me.” The bonds of family are stronger than just a name. When a woman changes her name after marriage, does that mean she is less of a daughter to her own mother and father? Of course not. And yet, if she doesn’t share the same name as her children and husband, is she somehow “less” of a member of that family? A name can be a career well-earned. A recent study from the Netherlands reveals that women who choose to adopt their husbands’ surnames may be penalized in the job market. As The New York Times reports , “Using Dutch population data, researchers at the Tilburg Institute for Behavioral Economics Research found that there were demographic differences between women who chose to take their partners’ names and those who did not.” Participants were asked to judge hypothetical women who had changed their names and those who had not. The study showed that people thought that a woman who changed her name to her husband’s was “more caring, more dependent, less intelligent, more emotional, less competent, and less ambitious in comparison with a woman who kept her own name.” Conversely, women who did not change their name were “judged as less caring, more independent, more ambitious, more intelligent, and more competent, which was similar to an unmarried woman living [with her partner] or a man.” Ultimately, many women feel that their names, often steeped in a hard-won reputation in the workforce, are not tags they are willing to give up at marriage. The bureaucratic pressures to change your name aren’t as strong as one might think. In “The Maiden Name Debate,” Katie Roiphe writes that many women change their names not out of “a nostalgic affection for tradition” but “because giving in to bureaucratic pressures is easier than clinging to their old identity. In a mundane way, having the same name as your children is easier.” But many children do not share their mother’s names for other reasons, especially if their mothers have divorced or remarried. Schools, doctor’s offices, and other institutions are more equipped to handle this than one might assume. There are other options. Some women choose to hyphenate their last name with their husbands. Others keep their maiden name as their middle name. And some combine their surname with their husband’s to create a whole new name. The choice is not gender equal. Finally, some men take their wives’ surnames. Lucy Stone, an antislavery and suffrage activist, is thought to have been the first U.S. woman to keep her name when she married in 1855. Later, 1920s feminists formed the Lucy Stone League which, after some lulls, still exists today. The Lucy Stone League supports equal rights for women AND men to retain, modify, and create their own names, as well as equality in patrilineal and matrilineal distribution of names for children.  Why, might you ask, does an organization exist today when name changing is such a common practice among women? As FOX News reports , male equality does not exist in this choice. According to FOX, “when signing a marriage certificate, a woman has a choice to write in what her new last name will be. However, only six states — Georgia, Iowa, Massachusetts, Hawaii, New York, and Delaware — have the same option for men to change their name. “ They cite a recent court case in California where a man who wished to take his wife’s name faced much higher court fees and bureaucratic hassles. Further, “A man in California must advertise his plan to change his name change for four weeks in a newspaper, as well as get approval from a judge.” So, yes, there is yet to be equality for this choice under the law. And it seems that the question to change or not to change is humanist issue more than a feminist one. http://ecosalon.com/7-reasons-married-women-keep-their-last-names/ |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 7:19pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
coogar: . . .and the world would be at peace.  |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by violent(m): 8:30pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
tendercharles: Its now a normal trend among married ladies, they dont completely replace their father's name with their husband's name. I believe the husband should be in full possession of the woman after wedding but she, still having to use her father name creates a notion that she still 'partly' belongs to her father. I can't allow my wife to retain father's name after our wedding oo. What do you guys think? "be in full possession" I guess it just never occurred to me that a man must be in "full possession of his wife": as my experience with this phrase has tend to be limited to the times my amazon book orders arrive late and I've had to email the seller demanding to know when i'd be in "full possession of my books"...or the times i cheer for the bubsy boys for dominating a footy match and being in "full possession of the ball"! Being in full possession of your wife will assume your wife can be used and tossed by you like all other items mentioned above, No? |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by SisiKill1: 8:47pm On Aug 24, 2012 |
violent:Ughhhh!! Don't you just hate when that happens. . .they tell you the books are gonna be there at so so time and when it doesn't, they are like. . .oh well, whatever!! You know the story will be different if it was you who went [i]la di da [/i]about paying them. St[i]u[/i]pid Amazon. . .always delaying the possession of your stuff. |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Johndoe100(m): 2:39am On Aug 25, 2012 |
For a pseudo Christian iya aje like you this is the best instruction from God. [size=18pt]"But I permit NOT a Woman to teach, NOR to have dominion over a Man, but to be in quietness." (1 Timothy 2:12)[/size] jennykadry: 1 Like |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by armyofone(m): 3:47am On Aug 25, 2012 |
i love hypenated names. I'm gonna have it. Hauwa Brad-Pete Armyofone Marine-Army Omoge King-Kong |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by dayokanu(m): 5:31am On Aug 25, 2012 |
armyofone: i love hypenated names. I'm gonna have it. Thats what I'm talking about baby |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by hannydarl(f): 7:28am On Aug 25, 2012 |
I hope the male preachers remember where the bible asked them to love their wives like themselves, provide for their family and be tender towards them? Abi na only where God talk to woman them dey read. Poster na your property, haba after all the bride price? She was more expensive than a house in abuja naa. You own her , her father sold her to you for 15k goat and yam. She was never wanted by her father(hell man, she is a WOMAN) who ever wants a girl in his house. Easy solution sha, remember how you return a faulty or spoilt stuff when you buy and possesss it? Take back your bought wife, go and return it for exchange to another property or take a refund. You are a man and she is created without brains or emotion of her own so if yours has been contaminated by the virus of DESIRE and ABILItY(DA)return her never mind if she is smart, beautiful, inteligent, loving and kind those don't mater her papa name is a taboo and outweighs all those. You were meant to buy a dummy without brain and feeling so you can programe her to your taste I.e cook, clean , Bleep and more Bleep or any other way that pleases you. Her fathers name is a taboo. Never to be seen or heard around her. omo you buy am naaA. |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 7:37am On Aug 25, 2012 |
hannydarl: I hope the male preachers remember where the bible asked them to love their wives like themselves, provide for their family and be tender towards them? Abi na only where God talk to woman them dey read. You have taken the words out of my mouth, I have been throwing up since i read the property part yesterday. My Good God, E don do, I need to get off nairaland, them send una to make me craze ne? |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by birdman(m): 7:56am On Aug 25, 2012 |
If you are not going to change your last name, why even get married. Why not just live as partners, share the house and kids but keep everything else separate. Kobojunkie: This has nothing to do with patriarchy. You change your name to the man's signifying he is now responsible for you, as your primary protector, no longer biological father. Ghana for example, is deeply matriarchal, yet they take their husbands names. Anyways, good luck taking advice from people with a 70% divorce rate. We'll see how that works out  5 Likes |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by CeaserB: 10:42am On Aug 25, 2012 |
[size=18pt]NairaLanders With Their Staunch Feminist Ladies. I Dey Laugh In Greek Whether You Like or You No Like You Must To Bear My Papa Name Na Baba God Sign Am [/size]1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 10:45am On Aug 25, 2012 |
Its not wrong, I allow my wife to do that for now. Her fathers Name is as so powerful as my Dads' so would want her to loose all her identity suddenly, with time it will be scapped off.  |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Nobody: 10:45am On Aug 25, 2012 |
In full possession my foot! Kai! Woman don suffer too much! A woman now becomes a possession cos she is married? @poster I sorry for you o! I got nothing to say abeg. 1 Like |
| Re: Married Women Using Their Father's Name As Middle Name by Biggyd2: 10:49am On Aug 25, 2012 |
Ehen? If the parties agree and it works for them, what is anyone's business? 1 Like |
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