Dis Guy:

pass me the sick bucket!!

lol naija man not wanting something back hehe
its like saying Nigerian politician not wanting to benefit from some largess

coogar:

arrant nonsense!
so even if the person he's married to is behaving like an animal, the husband has no right to correct her? where do people get their warped philosophies from? his wife is talking to her ex for goodness sake - do dogs associate with cats? any married woman who prefers speaking to her ex against her husband's wish is a whore or an aspiring hoodrat! how many women would feel comfortable with their husbands chit-chatting with their exes??

i trust my wifey - dem no born am well!

Johndoe100:

What about a crazed femi- nazi?

Shollypopz:
Exactly what [b]Kobojunkie [/b]was trying to say.....Absolutely, no respect!!

.....SMH!.........

coogar:

no respect? has the wife respected me by speaking to her ex after i have told her to stop?
be following kobojunkie's ill-advised comments. she's probably someone's punchbag in a village in kogi state who comes to nairaland to form superwoman!

Shollypopz:
I think 'Nairalanders' scan through ppl's post and they don't read diligently....

What Kobojunkie has been trying to say is:
1.) Tell the op not to take action that would hurt his marriage even more e.g giving ultimatums, threatening.....

2.) All the op can do is complain to his wife 'bitterly' (as d op likes to put it) and hope that she respects his feelings enough to break the chains of communication with her ex.

3.) The op is only contemplating that there has been further conversations going on with his wife and her ex apart from a few happy birthday calls, condolence visit when her mum/dad died........Kobojunkie is trying to say the conversations btw d Op's wife and her Ex might be completely harmless and the op needs to act rationally.

I don't know who [b]Kobojunkie [/b]is, in fact I just noticed the 'person' on NL, but I'm sure he/she is a 'super person', lol

*btw, I love ur profile picture*

coogar:

is that what you do?

the op has tried to be a gentleman but the wife went back to open talks again with her ex!
you mean the op should fold his hands - of course, ultimatums and threats should be made!

the op should [b]hope the wife respects his feelings? the same feelings she pissed on the first time? you are assuming this woman is normal, she's not!!! the only way to straighten her up is to take the respect by force! the subtle way has not worked otherwise we won't be here - so what makes you think it would work now....

Shollypopz:
Who's being an a*ss now?

Just in case u are thinking of giving ur wife an ultimatum one day, just rmbr a Shollypopz [/b]warned u.........

[b]The op's last reply to this thread:

"contd, on my trust issue, because she so much trusted me all these while, i also want to get a level where i can trust her so much too. Her trusting me gives me some confidence, i need her to have some confidence. But that aside, the issue of comunicating with an Ex is what i dont like, its nt healthy, & dats why i left all my Exes to enjoy their homes, rather giving them old memories. thks God she now understand with me. We are working on d healing process now. Thk u all & God bless".

Always bear in mind that on NL, u only hear one side of the story.........

Shollypopz:

I think 'Nairalanders' scan through ppl's post and they don't read diligently....
What Kobojunkie has been trying to say is:
1.) Tell the op not to take action that would hurt his marriage even more e.g giving ultimatums, threatening.....
2.) All the op can do is complain to his wife 'bitterly' (as d op likes to put it) and hope that she respects his feelings enough to break the chains of communication with her ex.
3.) The op is only contemplating that there has been further conversations going on with his wife and her ex apart from a few happy birthday calls, condolence visit when her mum/dad died........Kobojunkie is trying to say the conversations btw d Op's wife and her Ex might be completely harmless and the op needs to act rationally.

I don't know who [b]Kobojunkie [/b]is, in fact I just noticed the 'person' on NL, but I'm sure he/she is a 'super person', lol
*btw, I love ur profile picture*

Kobojunkie:

You deserve a handshake for taking the time to read and understand before responding . . . skill that is seriously lacking around here.

Siena: I've read the OP's post, and I feel for him. I can also understand his concerns.

It's one thing for a married woman to maintain contact with her ex, but actually visiting him?? I don't get that one bit. Some are calling him insecure, I disagree. Every human has insecurities in them, no one is born feeling insecure. It's a dormant emotion, so dormant we may not realise its existence. All it needs is a trigger to bring it to the forefront. In this case, the OP's insecurities have been triggered, and it's not difficult to see why.

And someone here mentioned "Nigerian men and their insecurities." Well let me educate that person - insecurity does not have a race, it's not a "Nigerian" emotion. Everyone has it built in. And anyone who doesn't have, or claims not to have the dormant insecurity emotion in them, is not a human, but a souless robot. Even animals have insecurities!

I too would be pretty miffed if my wife maintained close contact with her ex, to the point she visited him, and she received birthday wishes from him! When I was single, once I started a new relationship, my ex was history. I can't even remember things like their birthdays, their favourite color, food etc. I don't believe a married woman should have time to be visiting her ex. And this ex, why doesn't he spend his excess energy and time with his own wife? Is his life that empty and drab?

This is not about respect, this is about a blatant disrespect for her husband. If it was the guy seeing his ex, and his wife was upset, he would be crucified, labelled a player, selfish, opinionated etc. The boot's on the other foot, so the guy's labelled "disrespectful" for daring to express his displeasure.

Marriage needs compromise in order for it to work. In this case, the husband isn't happy with his wife maintaining close contact with her ex (including visiting). The wife's digging her heels in, and obstinately refusing to see why her husband's not pleased. Is her ex more important than her husband, to the point she would rather make him unhappy to keep her ex sweet? C'mon!

For those that are not married, try to imagine how you would feel, if even your girlfriend or boyfriend was in close contact with their ex. This woman is in the wrong, even a blind, m[i]o[/i]ronic Silverback Gorilla can spot the issues here.

Efemena_xy:

Try not to get a heart attack on my behalf.

Efemena_xy: Nigerian men and their insecurity issues.

@Poster, so bottom line here is that you don't trust your wife.

So the question here is, what are you going to do about it?

proudlyafrican: [b][/b]

I understand where you are coming from and where you are going,if you read my post you will realize that i said i went to her parents to discuss the issue but they just refused to reason with me.Did i just jump to her parents to complain? "No". I talked with her but my talks with her for a change was yielding no positive fruit.I don`t want to go into details,we have had an altercation about her Ex in 2007 where i told her about my displeasure and our separation happened in 2011,so you can see how long i have tolerated her action as an adult that you claim she is.My case is worst than the case of the OP which is just the fact that his wife is talking with her Ex,mine got to the point of she not only talking with her Ex but pinging,chatting on yahoo,receiving calls on skype and to the extent of sending her pics to him on a daily basis.Bro! WTF.

safeact:


Sorry to tell you dis, i think that you are just looking for a CHEAP POPULARITY. Even if u ar white, green oo!, red or watever, u are only seeking to be noticed. Imagine ur bottom status : "the few minority should not impose their views on d majority". And now, in every threads, u try to impose ur view on d majority so that people will notice you. Sorry to tell u, u are just contraditing ursf!

Go and get married and come back to tell us dsame old story of urs using ur NOTICE ME OR I DIE (NOD)ideology and see if u will not end up in a jun(g)kle!

Mind u, i dnt hate u but i hate ur attitudes!

Etranshub: Try to shut the bleep up if u dnt ve an advise for any1 seeking advise online

Efemena_xy:

Go stick your head far up your a $$ bloody fagg0t. And whilst you're at it, kill yourself slowly. Very slowly. Mtcheew!

Kobojunkie:

um . . . sorry, I can't help you at all. Great that you felt your bile against another human beings right to post his/her opinion on issue needed to be on the pages of nairaland . . **sss*** . . . . it just so happens that I am really not the your problem . . . so I can't help you there. Goodluck!!

gmyguy: ...well, at least you are somebody's daughter and I bet the daughter's father falls in your sarcasm...how I wish the roles could be reversed and see your opinion change as well

safeact:


Go help ursf and not me!

coogar:

never knew a lamb could bite!

Kobojunkie:

I thought the reason you decided to get my attention was so I could notice you and your issues . . . I did and explained there that I cannot help you there is all . . but yeah, I have noticed you as you needed me to.

Efemena_xy:
G
Go stick your head far up your a $$ bloody fagg0t. And whilst you're at it, kill yourself slowly. Very slowly. Mtcheew!

safeact:

U are making wrestling to b a fight just like coogar and Efemena are now doing. Lol. See how i will just exist to teach u maturity that u lack!
Good day kobojungle, lol

obowunmi: Poster, this issue to me is not an issue of trust but an issue of respect.

Your wife is NOW a married woman. If she cannot leave the ex issues from 8 yrs ago, then there are serious issues. If she respects you, as your wife, ex will not be in the picture.

A normal wife will say, I am married now, pls out of respect for my husband, I don't think this friendship is appropriate. Will you sit and wait before they start to catch feelings for each other again? I mean common.

I'm not married yet and I'm certainly not in touch with any exes from 1 month ago. Rubbish!