toria1980: i am not confuse.. right from the very day i stop dating him, i told him i cant continue because there is no need to date him for that long since am not marrying him.... the fact remains, he wont let go..he kept sending series of messages on my Fbook knowing fully well that i am not in the country

And now you are 32??

[quote author=toria1980]
2yrs.... and we've known each other for 9yrs

And since then he has not found someone else? Them swear for am? Babe pack well i beg

toria1980: i am not confuse.. right from the very day i stop dating him, i told him i cant continue because there is no need to date him for that long since am not marrying him.... the fact remains, he wont let go.. he kept sending series of messages on my Fbook knowing fully well that i am not in the country

Hey be sincere, you played around him for too long, you made him believe you both could head somewhere, you got a better dude and religion became the excuse. Tell me am wrong.

How will your families cope and accommodate each other?

Who decides what religion your child is raised in? Him or you?

Do you want your child to have a muslim name?

How will you cope with him during Ramadan?

If you can't support his religion, you don't love him.

MOVE ON.

kokoye: Tough one.

If you both are serious xtian or muslim, it might be easy now when it's just the two of you.

But what happens when you have kids: where will they worship, what kinda music will they listen to; will you let your daughter's head be shaved when born, who will they hang out with, family members visiting, etc

These are some of the things you need to consider and decide on.

It is not the easiest of things except you both are free thinkers.

u just pointed out some of my points....... i will want to bring up my children in xtian ways... but most muslim will not allow their wife train their children.. even though he claims he doesnt care about the religion now, tomorrow he might change his mind

D-Explorer:
Hey be sincere, you played around him for too long, you made him believe you both could head somewhere, you got a better dude and religion became the excuse. Tell me am wrong.

u are wrong
how could i have played him when he is aware of my relationship with another person, @ a point i gave him an option which he couldnt take... i told him the only reason i will marry him is him converting to christian.. but he didnt take..i knw it sounds crazy, it is the honest fact

2 my understanding i think some times we need 2 look into dat be4 we get married

toria1980:

u just pointed out some of my points....... i will want to bring up my children in xtian ways... but most muslim will not allow their wife train their children.. even though he claims he doesnt care about the religion now, tomorrow he might change his mind

Then you know what you must do.

You cannot fully bring up ur kids in a certain way except you have the same religious view with their dad.

If you have told him and he still wants to hang on, then you need to step or get a restraining order against him. You can't marry him (according to you) so let him talk a walk jorh

toria1980: Dear Nairalanders,

My ex proposes to me, i refuse his marriage proposal because he is a Muslim.
in his words he said "i wont stop you from practicing your religion". but i refuse him, for two years now he is still beginning me to marry him

It depends on how strong your walk with Christ Jesus is. Religion is not just a belief. It is a way of life or a way of living. The Islamic faith permits a man to marry up to 4 wives. Can you bear sharing your husband and home with other women? I personally cannot be joined one with someone who is not a believer of Christ Jesus. My bible tells me not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

No matter how much he pesters you, say no. Marraige is for better for worse. Depending on how strong of a believer he is in his faith, he might demand that the children be raised muslims or that you convert to Islam. If you don't, that might be the beginning of the end of your marraige. Is that what you want? You think marraige is like boyfriend - girlfriend relationship? Marraige is not a joke and definately not for the faint hearted. Change your phone number and move to another city if possible so that the pestering stops. In the western world, what he is doing would have been considered harrassment and he could go to jail for that. However, in Nigeria, anything and everything goes.

CrazyMan:
Maybe by the time you get to 35 years and you're still single, you would consider his proposal...hypocrite

thank you

tobechi20:

u are a hypocrite. Dating a muslim but cant marry him. Y did u date him in d ist place

How many men marry the lady or ladies they once dated? Dating allows you to figure out whether the person is compatible for you or not. Not all relationships are meant to lead to the alter. Difference in religious beliefs can cause a rift in a marraige especially if the couple in question are both stunch believers of their respective religious beliefs. She is not married yet so I see no reason why she should compromise and go ahead marrying a man whom she will not be happy with.

toria1980:

u are wrong
how could i have played him when he is aware of my relationship with another person, @ a point i gave him an option which he couldnt take... i told him the only reason i will marry him is him converting to christian.. but he didnt take..i knw it sounds crazy, it is the honest fact

It is d same thing my dear.when you startd dating him where you 18yrs old? that you didn't knw wot you wantd, how can you even contemplate dating a muslim when you knw the religious obstacle,knowing fully well that you can't change your religion for him,but you decided τ̲̅ȍ fool around with him for two years?
Again since 2004,incase you don't know this iS 2012 and if you still haven't found another guy to settle down with by now,τ̲̅ȍ the extent you A̶̲̥̅̊я̲̣̥ε̲̣̣̣̥ considering your muslim ex,
Then abeg marry the muslim guy even though am against it, because you just might not see anybody τ̲̅ȍ marry you soonest. GOSH. about 8yrs difference•

CrazyMan:
Maybe by the time you get to 35 years and you're still single, you would consider his proposal...hypocrite

is being single a crime in the society? becos at the end of the day i am saying i pick these person to spend eternity with him.he is a muslism and tomorrow he might just wake up and bring in another wife all in the name of religion

toria1980:

thank you

Ignore him please! Can't you see the name of his user ID? Take anything a crazyman tells you with a pinch of salt because even mentally sick people have access to the internet these days in this era of technology. This is 2012 Toria. Don't let anyone try to emotionally blackmail you into doing what you don't want to do. When the true bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh comes along, you will just know it. It will feel right and you won't have any doubts in your mind whatsoever.

So what if you turn 35 and are not yet married? If God says He has a husband for you, you will marry at God's appointed time. Funke Akindele just got married at 36 years of age. There are women who married since they were in their 20s and are now in their 40s and still believing God for children (fruit of the womb) or just became new parents after years of waiting. So my point is, wait on God's time. If you rush into marraige, you will be bound to rush out.

If you still feel anything for him just go for the last bleeping and bid each other fairwell. You might realise that is what you were missing. Marriage is not child's play.

toria1980: Dear Nairalanders,

My ex proposes to me, i refuse his marriage proposal because he is a Muslim.
in his words he said "i wont stop you from practicing your religion". but i refuse him, for two years now he is still beginning me to marry him

Don't second-guess yourself, dearie. You made the right choice.
Besides, if he claims to love you that much, why doesn't he change his religion to yours? I mean, if you're willing to chase a woman for 2 years and still won't take "no" then you should be willing to do what it takes to make her yours.

toria1980:

is being single a crime in the society? becos at the end of the day i am saying i pick these person to spend eternity with him.he is a muslism and tomorrow he might just wake up and bring in another wife all in the name of religion

In Nigerian society, being single is perceived to be more of a crime than all the money that how thieving politicians loot each day thereby leaving the average Nigerian in abject poverty. That is just the Nigerian cultural mindset for you: A sick and skewed mindset.

Cristalz:

Don't second-guess yourself, dearie. You made the right choice.
Besides, if he claims to love you that much, why doesn't he change his religion to yours? I mean, if you're willing to chase a woman for 2 years and still won't take "no" then you should be willing to do what it takes to make her yours.

Very well said my sister!

seedord247:

Can you explain the bolded part sir ?

My broda no need to border ursef on that explanation. That guy's comments on thread are always inexplicable. he lacks gud language expressions. Confused fellow

mikeuz:



It is d same thing my dear.when you startd dating him where you 18yrs old? that you didn't knw wot you wantd, how can you even contemplate dating a muslim when you knw the religious obstacle,knowing fully well that you can't change your religion for him,but you decided τ̲̅ȍ fool around with him for two years?
Again since 2004,incase you don't know this iS 2012 and if you still haven't found another guy to settle down with by now,τ̲̅ȍ the extent you A̶̲̥̅̊я̲̣̥ε̲̣̣̣̥ considering your muslim ex,
Then abeg marry the muslim guy even though am against it, because you just might not see anybody τ̲̅ȍ marry you soonest. GOSH. about 8yrs difference•

u dey vex? i just mentioned that he is aware of my relationship with another person..... even if i no see man marry, he will never be an option

dasparrow:

It depends on how strong your walk with Christ Jesus is. Religion is not just a belief. It is a way of life or a way of living. The Islamic faith permits a man to marry up to 4 wives. Can you bear sharing your husband and home with other women? I personally cannot be joined one with someone who is not a believer of Christ Jesus. My bible tells me not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

No matter how much he pesters you, say no. Marraige is for better for worse. Depending on how strong of a believer he is in his faith, he might demand that the children be raised muslims or that you convert to Islam. If you don't, that might be the beginning of the end of your marraige. Is that what you want? You think marraige is like boyfriend - girlfriend relationship? Marraige is not a joke and definately not for the faint hearted. Change your phone number and move to another city if possible so that the pestering stops. In the western world, what he is doing would have been considered harrassment and he could go to jail for that. However, in Nigeria, anything and everything goes.

no matter how he pesters she should say no..i hope you're married otherwise when she comes here to say i am single and desperate on a new topic, you should be the first to comment. Religion has existed for so long and it is now that we are segregating ourselves and saying i can't do this with another human..does his religion make him evil? there are some terrible christians out there that will hide their characters and even your pastor will support the marriage ..then he starts showing his real self. fear go catch you. My eldest sister was actually in your shoes but she knew this guy as a friend for some years back and after many bad relationships with different christian guys whom my mom liked ...it never worked for her until this guy came from an old friend to the level that they fell in love..my mom went crazy( being a strong woman in rccg)she opposed it like a plague, even quoting the scriptures above but my sister was adamant and went ahead..got pregnant and had a kid for this muslim guy..now they are happy, the guy is really really nice and my mom now likes him but the deal they had was that she should allow her worship as a christian and not interfere which they agreed ...now they're so happy together and this guy even comes to camp with her and my mom..he says his prayers can get answered anywhere ....so poster don't allow some laws that were made without considering peoples emotions ruin your life !!

This is what religion does to people.

Frm ur OP, you EX proposed to you
If he is really your "EX", then he should be in your past...and someone else should have taken his place..
please can you just move on with your life already, and keep your "EX" in the past where he rightly belongs..
And if you are really a christian, you should really know the answer to your question..

I wouldn't accept a date proposal talk less of marriage proposal.

Cristalz:

Don't second-guess yourself, dearie. You made the right choice.
Besides, if he claims to love you that much, why doesn't he change his religion to yours? I mean, if you're willing to chase a woman for 2 years and still won't take "no" then you should be willing to do what it takes to make her yours.

thanks Cristalz.... i gave him an option to covert which he refuses...

seedord247:

So, muslims and christians serve different God?

Most of what is written in the bible in is in the quran... The only thing thats different btw the 2 religion is their form of worship and the language they used in interacting with God when praying.

If educated folks like you can believe in what you wrote above, i see know reason why we shout for peace.

. Is jesus d son of God in d quran? What is d place of d trinity in d quran? As a christian i knw d bible does nt recognise muhamed. So we do nt worship dsame God.

dearie, u will be a big fool, to believe that a muslim will allow you practice christianity when u ar his wife! Dont be the 2nd victim i have come across!! If u really want to remain a Christian, forget him and his pleas and marry a devout christian! A pagan will even be better than him,shun sentiment and check what i said.

claremont: This is what religion does to people.

Exactly. Religions that you were born with.....

Deen4me: Hypocrisy of the highest level, is what i call a religiously mixed marriage i.e Christian / Muslim

They say you love each other bla bla bla.

and Each partner believes that the other is gonna spend eternity in Hell

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Food for thought

Spot on!