goodnight kind lady. God bless and dont forget my 1% when your money comes

joshjosh:

it is the love of a mother for the male child. it is not wickedness just a misguided love that can easily be passified without fighting.

No offence but you are speaking like you're naive

Not all "mothers" can be treated with "sweet talking"

i do not mind being naive.
i was blessed with an extra-ordinary mother that will do anything to bless and increase the children God blessed her with.  we didn't have much growing up. we had love and the best care she could give. people richer than us sent their kids to live with others not us even if we were cramed into one room.

thank God life has changed today but heaven forbid i forget the home that gave me the spring board the to life i enjoy today.

i grew up around women that wanted the best for their kids even if that means them opposing their choice of women. there is nothing wrong with that. most men i know today would have been happier if they listened to their mum warning them about the nightmares they choose for themselves.   they say love is blind but marraige is an eye opener.

come to think of it how many people know what is good for them when marraige is concerned? if everybody's choice was right why do we have all these broken people and broken kids all over the world  from broken relatioships?

i am not a spokes person for mothers every where. i do know most are not evil. infact their maternal disposition works against anything that hurts their own child. 

i am all for people choosing to live with whoever you want.  but i also know too that the right to bear my family name comes with the responsibility of not allowing any jezebels daughter into the family blood line in the name of personal choice.  uneducated illeterates have kept the family name pure and good before me. i owe a duty to the next generation to up their game.

hope that does not upset you. it is called duty it is a very good word. this small world of I,Me and myself is ugly dont you think? it is no crime anywhere in the world to advice your own child.

It is a crime if it's against the happiness of your own child.

and since when is it cool to torture another person (daughter or son-in law) just because YOU dont believe your child should be with that person?

You say these mothers are "helping", when a mother comes into the home and accuses the wife of being a witch for not having children, that's what you consider to be a "mother's love"??

calm down.

this is not everyday thing. there are millions of people happily married with good relationship with their ma and pa inlaws. people don't just wake up catching witches. things happens in relationships. there must be some thousands of ugly daughter inlaws calling their ma inlaw witches it doesn't equal every daughter in-law. it is my observation that most mothers love their kids more than any other person in the world would love that child. boyfriend and girlfriend husband/ wife included.

it so comfortable to want your partners to go to war with their parents because they don't accept you.  The Law of Attraction begins and ends with gratitude.  i can't understand how some people claim you love somebody and hate the people that gave birth to them.  have you heard the word " love me-  love my dog"?. becareful the bridge you tear down  because you may need to walk through it one day.

why do you major on minors?  you may have a bad ma-inlaw.  every mother is not like that and make sure you don't become one.  most  bad mother inlaws start by opposing everything in sight  which you are trying to do here. 
one moment it is all men not standing up next it is mother in-laws. seun created an open forum so we are allowed to villify everyone we wish.

there is a situation on the ground here that is bigger than your opinions on a whole group of people so i am going to leave you as i deal with more pressing issues. 

thanks for your time and have a very good day ma'am.  this is my last post here

joshjosh goodmorning to you.how can this be your last post i'll take that as a joke anyway.
thankyou everyone,there's alot to learn on nairaland.okay,my husband was here last night,and we talked for long hours-into the night.it was a very emotional one for me. right now i think i'm falling ill-stress and all that.
we talked about everything that went on from the day we got the message to date.i have never seen my husband that way.he looked like the whole world was on him.he said he was sorry and that he had learnt his lesson.he felt he could handle the situation without anyone being hurt,but that blew up in his face.we managed a very close and warm hug.he seemed to understand that just needed a little more time.
about 20mins after he left for work,someone buzzed, it was his sister.my cousin refused to open the door.she said she wanted the key to our house so she could move her things out.she said''pls tell that slot to get me the key to my brother's house'' apparently she came on the night flight cos i could see her stuff down there.

my cousin called my husband and asked him to come and uproot his sister from her steps or she was going to call the police.i just sat there crying.how can this girl follow me after all the trauma she had caused me.at this point,my cousin's hubby got bk from taking the little boy to school and met her standing there.he asked her to get out.she said ''this is none of your business.you just get that bastard my brother married out here to give me the keys to the house''.amsky was talking to her husband through the buzzer to come in.
she stood there for a while and left.that is where i am now.no peace whatsoever.i'm trying to take it in my stride.despite all these,i still love my husband so much.his sister is just determined to frustrate me out of my home.i dont get why she should call me such names.there is one thing that makes me happy, she'll eat of the dish she's serving me in some time soon.she's 26,and will marry in the near future.then she'll be sorry.

God bless you dear sister. good to know you guys are talking.  just relax. it is not time to answer her. you will know when that time comes. not just now.  my sister says your heart and mouth are your personal properties.  she is permitted to call you names  just as you are permitted to not answer the names she call you.

you are precious in your husband eyes. any other person talking rubish is just that RUBISH and non sence as my granny calls it.

you are in our prayers and know you are both going to pull through this one. the God of heaven will see to it that you come out  not hurt.do not let it. choose not to be a victim. there shall be no loss here

have a good day and thanks for coming to tell the house but please don't forget to tell Jesus always. He is right there with you.

that song says 
there is no mountain that we cannot climb. 
when i say we,
i mean Jesus and i.

there is no mountain that you cannot climb.

there is a calm after every storm. let the healing flow to you dear sister

Jesus is Lord over this matter. all sin is forgiven and forgivable. relax and enjoy a good relationship. if you ever have time to read i would gladly recommend garry smalley's  the joy of a committed relationship/love. it will bless you

Abrahams blessings be on you. Genesis 49:25 -26

joshjosh pls dont go.why are you going?dont you want your 1%anymore

shapey,you forgot some thing o.she said you and your husband should come and pay her the 8k pounds you owe her,find and pay mortgage on a 2 bed flat for her and give her cash for distabilizing her.how can you forget that silly bit.imagine!!!!!!!who dash her £8k? when she is the one owing me £850.that girl is a devil in disguise.did you see her eyes this morning?like someone who is poised to destroy.i was even scared for my husband that was standing out there with her.her brother should do something fast.

pls my good people of nairaland,i've told shapey to go home with her husband and she said she's still thinking of it.this guy has exams in3wks and he needs her support.he is clearly in a dilemma now.he's still in pain for losing his mom,in greater pain for almost loosing his wife,and the greatest pain that his family is trying to tear him apart.shapey pls.if there is anytime he needs you,it's now.he told me he wonders how he'll be able to prepare for his exams in his present state.he has always dreamt of being a surgeon,pls dont let him down now.i'm saying this here so that you'll all help me appeal to her.we all learn from experiences.i can bet my little finger that this will never happen again.just try and move on.he told you never to leave him,you are the center of his life!!!!!!!!  if na me dem tell that one i will just faint.pls my dear sister,pls go back home to him.

oya joshjosh,reloaded,sexxy,kogilomo,  richyblack et al make una put mouth.my own don dey pain me.make i work b4 dem sack me.

@amsky,

I agree with you; shapey needs to put her own mom outside of the relationship and move in with her husband ASAP. The guy needs her support and she'll only be executing an emotional tit-for-tat if she doesn't give him the support he denied her earlier.

In my sincere opinion, I think shapey has lost her own independence to her mom, and this will surely create more problems henceforth. This marriage needs a miracle to get back to normal, and that miracle must either be performed on shapey or performed by her. God bless.

Shapey, am so happy you and your husband have found a way of sttling it at least to some extent. No body should have the power to fustrate you, people can say what they want about you, you should not give her the benefit of making you fustrated. The worst is over, work towards restoring peace and love to your home. Wish you the best.

Happy this matter has reached a joyous ending. May God continue to bless your union. It was indeed an experience people should learn from. For those who could not flip over the internet pages for Shapey's narration to date, please see the summary of her post hereunder. I just printed it for keep.

please guys i'm slowly dying.i came home some days back with my husband and there was a message on the answering machine.it was his cousin who stays with his mother in nigeria.the guy said' momi dey sick.im neck don turn 360 degrees and dr say na severe stroke i get.'i laughed.that was the biggest sin i have ever commited in my life.please don't get me wrong.i did not laugh because the woman was ill-no.it was the way he said the 360 thing-i just imagined someone's neck turning all the way round,and i chuckled.i did not even laugh so loud.
a few minutes after then my hubby went off to the patio.i went to put my arms around him and the way he threw my hand soff was shocking.he then began to tell me how disgusting i was and how he could not believe he married such a heartless woman like me.i've never felt so hurt in my 27yrs of life.he started making calls to people in nigeria to take his mom to a better hospital.while i was taking my bath,his younger sister who works in tesco returned and he apparently told her what happened and how i laughed.i went to the kitchen to say hello to my in law,but she said' even if my mom and you are not best of friends,you did not have to laugh when you heard she was ill.'
that killed me.i tried to let her know i was not laughing and my mom-in-law.my hubby kept on boning me for 3days after that.i was in bed on the 4th day when i heard my sister in law scream.i jumped out of bed and ran to her room to find my husband there.his phone had dropped to the floor.the cousin called and told of mama's death.a knife tore through me.my husband's eyes were red like blood.he stormed out of the room.i went and knealt by my in law and held her.we cried together.later that morning i went to work-i work in a shop(m&s). before leaving,i did everything i could to console my hubby.i was even a bit late to work.

when i came back,my husband calle dme.i was so happy,i thot he was about to settle things.this man started telling me of how heartless i was,and that eventhough i had a little quarrel with his mom 1yr back i did not have to flaunt my heartlessness by going to work that day. i was shocked.just for the record,the little quarrel he is talking about took place when his mother came to uk and was threatening fire and brimstone if i did not get pregg.when i planned with my man that we will not have kids till we were able to cater for them properly.she was told but she kept saying it was me who refused to get preggy so i can keep sleeping around.there was alot of anger and voices were raised.a neighbour called the cops.she left 3 days later saying i had bewitched her son.i can't laugh at her misfortune even though we were not the best of friends.i have to work.this is uk things are tough here.i tried my best to make her happy when she came,but she went bk telling people i left her and locked her up in the house.please my problem now is my husband that has refused to talk to me.his little sister seems to understand but she no longer gists with me like she used to.i'm at work now and i dread going home to meet the horrible situation in my house.please i need suggestions.arrangments are being made to go to nigeria and he's not even putting me in the picture.my in law said he told her i'll plan my trip myself if i'm interested in going.i felt so bad.i withdrew 1000pounds from my a/c for him to add to the expenses in nigeria but he turned it down.i hope my marriage is still intact.please help me on this one.
the thing is he would not even talk to me.like yesterday,he walked in ,i came up to him for the usual hug,but the way he nudged me aside was terrible.even in his sister's presence.just got home and his sister told me he ordered chinese.but there is dinner in the kitchen for goodness sake.why is this guy treating me this way.he's got a BA ticket to nigeria only for himself.he has not even told me anything about it.it was his sister who mentioned it to me.i went to him on my kness this morning.when he felt my cries and pleas were disturbing him,he stood up and left the room.my boss has been asking me what the problem is because he has noticed am not my usual bubbly self.i keep trying to evade the question.how do i wash my dirty linen in public?i was even pretending to be dying of cough last night just to know if he will come to the bathroom to know what the problem was.he did not.is my mistake so grave that it cannot be forgiven?i'm truly sorry and i have told a good friend of his to come and intervene.the guy promised to drop by on his way from work.i just hope he does because it's quite cold out there.
i'm at my wits end.don't know what else to do.

the guy i invited to come and beg just left.he called my hubby and spoke to him.i heard his friend telling him he should not take it as far as he has,and he has to cool down.he replied that he said i laughed on purpose and he sees it like i'm so excited his mom died.after the guy left i went to beg again for the umpteenth time.he just stood up and went away.
i have just got a BAticket online for myself.i went to him and told him was going to nigeria even if he does not put me in the plan.i also begged him to forget about everything so we do not disgrace ourselves further in nigeria.i know he heard me but he did not respond.
i don't know what my sister in law has up her sleeves now.i hate that i ever told my husband to let her stay with us.she told me' why have you not even had a baby?at least my mother would have been happier if she had seen her son's child' i think she'll cause trouble for me in nigeria.she has been making all sorts of comments and going to talk to her brother in their language-efik.i don't understand because i'm ibo.she does not usually speak efik because her brother warned her not to since i don't understand it.
one thing i know is if things get okay b/w my hubby and i,she'll leave.
av spoken to my mom about it and she is not happy.she said like you all did to settle things before leaving for nigeria.she said to go into the room,lock the door,put the key in my bra and tell him we just have ther to settle or else nobody is stepping out of the room.he booked his flight to nigeria for sunday.i also have a seat on that flight too,and i've told him that much.i'll keep trying and i know he'll give in,albeit gradually.my sister in law is a small fry to me.when this blows over,i'll show her who's boss i promise.she has really hurt my feelings. i thought we were closer than this.when my husband did not want her to stay with us,i fought for her to stay,so she'll be able to save some money to finish up her education.when she has no money,i'm always there for her. i know i've been there for her when all seems down and she knows it.i just pray to make things right with my man,then i'll ask her why she was so cruel.this is a mess created i know,but i'll come out of it a better fellow.
his freind calle dme saying he is deeply shaken by his mom's passing and i should keep talking to him.he told me he cried.i feel so sad because all was well befor the answering machine episode, he's been making calls to nigeria for things to start taking shape before he gets back-he's the 1st son. the phonecard got finished and he still had other calls to make.i called a friend of mine to send me a card PIN by text and she did.i copied it down and gave it to him.the guy took it and said 'thankx'.i hope this is the beginning of a break through.i've known my man for 5 years and he has never done this.
i hope this blows over really soon.
afterlocking myself and my husband in the room,he wanted to go watch the tv in the early hours of the morning and asked me for the keys.i told him he'd get it only when we had settled our differences.to cut a long story short.he told me that his anger towards me was aggravated by what his sister told him. please my dear friends hear this--he said she told him i called my sister in the us and was so excited,telling her that 'the old witch is dead now i can have peace in my home.good riddance to bad rubbish'.i was in shock,tears began to flow down my cheeks.as i was trying to recover from that shock,he dumped another bombshell.my sister in law told her brother that i said i told my mother that i'll be sending huge sums of his money to her since my mom in law was dead.
at that moment,i thought i was dead.
i simply broke down in tears and told my man that i never said any such things.i even asked him to call my sister and mom and ask.i went to his sister's room,and told her to repeat what she told her brother before me and my elder sister because i was going to call my sister.she could not utter a word.she just stood there staring at me.this was about 3.20am.my husband was just staring at his sister.i told my husband i was going to call mysister so he could confirm.i later went into my sister in law's room to ask her why she had to tell such blatant lies.she replied saying-'i only thought it will make things better'.i got so angry.i walked away congratulating myself that i had contained my anger.

i did not even know he heard what his sister said.it was when i was trying to put a few things together that.my husband called me.he said 'look angel you have to calm down' .i pinched my self.it's been almost 2wks in this hell and suddenly i hear him calling my pet name!!!!!!!!!!.he told me his sister told him so much,but since he can now see she made things up,there would be no need telling me more.i told him i was not keen on hearing any more.my sister called from the us to know if we needed anything from there.my husband told her i was the organiser,so she could talk with me.i then hinted her on what was going on.she spoke to my husband telling him she had hardly spoken to me.she called my house 2ce and my in law told her i was not home-meanwhile i was o.she called me 2ce at work but i could hardly talk to her.that confirmed everything to my husband if he was in doubt.now i am relieved that i'm no longer a witch to my husband's eyes,and he now knows who the real culprit is.my annoyance stems from the fact that he can hear such horrible things about me and keep them to himself,and believe them.one thing i know for sure is his sister is moving out once we return.and then secondly,we have to re-address things in this marriage.i thought things were 100percent okay,but now i know that is a big lie.he has told his sister that she must not breathe a word of the past 12 days to anyone,or else he'll seize her passport.i'm still watching and waiting.truly,i'm no longer so interested in this marriage.this is the plain truth.it only means that if i had not been persistently pleading,these things woul not have come out.
my parents,sisters and cousins will be there for the burial.for me,after truly paying my last respects to my mom in law,i' have alot of looking inwards to do.it's been hell on earth for the past 12 days.
i was doing my masters when i met my husband.i had to round off,before i could discuss anything about marriage with him.this was in 2004.we got married in 2005 september.the suggestion not to have kids just yet was mine and he bought it.he was in medical school and that is aaallloootttt of cash and .apart from that my husband is one who likes planning to the minutest detail.we planned to start trying for kids by june this year. thanks so much.you are so right about the topic.i guess i was not just at my best at time of posting.
well things are better than they were before,though not fully back on course.i managed to make his favourite junk for him-mac and cheese.as for the other madam who wanted to put a noose around my neck,she has not given up.she is determined to complete and accomplish what she has started.she told me she 'will never forgive me for creating a rift b/w herself and her only brother.'how silly can she get?i just told her i was sooo happy she's a woman too.and it'll not happen to her only if she decides not to get married.
i'm seriously preparing for the sunday trip.my mind is made up,thanks to all your posts that gave me alot of strength and courage where there was none.
i'll never leave nairaland o lai lai!!!!when i return,it'll be one love b/w me and y'all. i'll also intrduce my husband to this forum-that's if his work will permit.
hello people.its almost 12midnight and i had to come out with my husband to send some mails to a few people.its so amazing how many guys do this overnight browsing thing.
thank you to everyone who has lent an ear or do i say an eye to my post.but honestly,things are turning a bit ugly over here for me.i have been hearing alot of rude side remarks directed at me.stuff like 'the sons wife never allowed her reap the fruit of her labour'. and all sorts of hurtful things.some of them are nice,others are just something else.my sister in law does not even respond to my greeting anymore.last night she was in the sitting room with her cousin and they were speaking efik.the next thing i heard was the cousin singing to my hearing-''holy ghost fire pursue them,all those that will put hatred and darkness in our family,pursue them,if possible break their legs''.i sat there for a while and then left to bemoan my fate on my own.it's not too good when your in laws speak a different language o.you'll hear nwi like me here.
my mother is coming,my sister is here from the us and is keeping me company.i told her not to speak our language at all,so they'll not think we are talking about them.my own type of igbo if we speak it, you'll think we are consulting a big oracle for you.
anyway,things are not going on as well as i anticipated.i hope it does not get worse.if it does get worse than this,i wont know what to do.my husband has been trying to put my mind at ease but it's not working.the few people who welcomed me warmly the first day we got here changed their warm attitude later.i am not hallucinating.
i may not be able to browse again before the burial on saturday,nor before i heard back to the uk on wednesday.
thank you everyone.i love you all.
hi people.its like a breath of fresh air to be out here.i see that my cousin has let you in a bit on the goings on before and during the burial.right now i'm totally broken.my elder sister is a pillar,but for her,i'd havve been dead and gone at this time.
amsky gave a picture of what transpired there.it was hell for me,i tell you.the eldest man in the family summoned me after my sis in law had heaped all sorts of lies against me. eg-i refused to get pregnant because i wanted my husband to be the last person in their lineage,that i said i was coming for the burial to know if my mom inlaw had really died as it was too good to be true,that i said i was going to fight my husband's elder sister and alot of other things.she also said i was cheating on my husband.my hubby's elder sister came to me on friday night-wake keeping -and said'madam i've been waiting for you to come and slap me o'.i was at a loss.the little one who used to live with me now said-see her singing choruses like an angel nobody will ever know she is a little LovePeddler.in shock i asked her-what have i ever done to you ?i looked around for my husband but i did n't see him.my sister froma distance saw the confrontation and rushed down.i told her what went on.when my mother heard,she went mad,saying that she was going to handle it her way.the singing was still going on,i went back to the bedroom because i was so scared for my dear life-i do not understand efik mind you,and everyone looked at me like i was the devil himself.a short while l8r,i heard a lady saying in english'where is she?please bring her out here let me thrash her thoroughly like a criminal'.my hubby now walks in and says'ehm please come and greet my mom's sister'.mind you this mom's sister was the 1 saying she wanted to flog me.the next thing i know my mom and sister come in with my mom shouting at everyone in english-have i commited an abomination giving my child to you in marriage?she turned to my hubby and told him how ashamed she was of him,and he was not able to stand for his wife, my sister was already throwing my things into the box.i cried and cried like a baby.
they all forgot the burial and i was now the talk of the town.his elder sister was saying i had to explain why i said i would knock her teeth out.at that point,i heard my husband saying he'll not attend the burial and he was going to cut all ties with them bla bla bla.my mom told him he should not even bother because when he'd have handled it,he was busy calling me to come out and greet them.
we went to a hotel,and sleep eluded me.the lexotan my mom gave to me did not work,because i was wide awake crying my eyes out till it was time for the service.
on the day of the burial,i went for the service from the hotel with my sis and mom.my husband made frantic efforts to reach me,but did not succeed.he saw me during the lying instate and held my hand.i saw tears in his eyes,but me i was so hurt,i just pulled my hand away and stood in the corner.his elder sister came and said to me'oh!queen of england are you here to laugh at us?i thought you went back to london yesterday'.i had to pull my mom out to avoid another show down.i sat with my husband in front at the service,and i could tell he was not concentrating.he kept stealing glances at me,and trying to talk to me.
when it was time to carry the body out of the church,i went with him,and he did the dust to dust thing.when his sister was asked to perform hers,she said 'o my darling mom all those who rejoiced at your misfortune will surely meet theirs soon'.it does not take rocket science to know she was refering to me.alot of comments like-if only this woman who she welcomed into her home(me)had let her see her grandchildren. etc etc.
after the grave was covered my mother said 'oya let's get going.'i told my husband i was leaving.and he started begging me to stay.before i could say anything my mom said'' she's not staying here.you heard your sister.i don't want my daughter to meet with her misfortune very soon.i cannot guaratee that you can take care and protect her,so she's getting on a flight to lagos with me.i looked into my husband's eyes and i almost cried.infact i did.i told her i wanted a few minutes with him.he asked me if i had to go.honestly,i did not feel safe even with him there,and i told him that much.he asked me to stay that' we'd go to a hotel that evening.i told him i had to get away. he said he really needed me and that i should stay.i replied that i'd want to be with him,but i did not feel safe with everyone thinking i was a witch.i had to go.i did not want to leave him but i had to.i felt betrayed by him,and truthfully,i did not want him by my side just then.
that was how i left to lagos,and i'm waiting for a call from virgin atlantic that will decide if i'm leaving for london tomorrow or not.i've been talking with my husband but i don't know if i want to be with him just yet.i feel let down and betrayed.don't get me wrong please my friends.i love him so much-i still do nothing will change that-but for now,i'll want to be on my own for a while to sort things out for myself.i've gone through alot these past weeks and i need to gradually heal.i told him i'll like some space to ymself.it kills me to think even for a minute that this may be it for our marriage,but i'd like to face reality-that will help me alot.i'm 27,been married for 1yr and 4mths and now this.
my cousin has not minced words in telling me that once my husband knocks on her door,she'll fling it open to him.i'll be in her place till i get on my feet again.i'm shattered and my psyche is in a mess,so i need time to myself.
as for my sister in law,my good deeds towards her will stand against her.i don't want to attribute this to the fact that my hubby is not from the same tribe as me.my cousin is married to an ibibio man and they are having the time of their lives.my husband is a good guy too but he has betrayed me to the last bit.

i have to seriously do some soul searching now.when people say a woman is battered i now know first hand that it not only involves physical battry.after all i went through begging to be forgiven before we left for the burial,now this.i wonder when life will stop throwing these things at me.
goodnite everyone.i am so grateful.
there is more to it indeed.my husband's family did not approve of his getting married to me because i was not from his place.being an only son out of 3 children,his parents fought tooth and nail to ensure that he changed his mind.he did not listen to them and went ahead i broke up with him because of it.i did not want a situation where i'll be the cause of 'katakata' in his family.when he put his foot down,the battle line was drawn.his younger sis was so sweet at first but with the recent happenings,i now know it was all a huge lie.she just wanted to avoid paying bills,rent and tax.
their first excuse was-please finish you internship before you get married.they siad that hoping he'll ditch me by the end of it but he did not and the hatred got deeper.so this is were it has landed me today.\
i'm trying to give a true picture of events here.when i think i've erred,i say it without mincing words.my mom in laws sister came with a cane richyblack-a whip.what we'll call koboko back home.i saw it for a split second.my husband saw it too,and was calling me to come and greet the person holding the cane.
i'll not like to go over that ugly experience.i'm already having a hard time forgetting it.when i think of it,i just feel sooooo bitter,so bitter that i nurse thoughts of leaving my husband and forgetting about anything that has to do with any man on this earth.i regret the day i encouraged my hubby to let his sister be with us.looking back now,that is the worse mistake i've made in my life.if not for all the lies she told her brother about me,he'd have easily forgotten that i ever laughed when we listened to the message.but there is just one thing i find very difficult to get and that is the fact that my husband will believe his sister over me,and not call his people to order when they were toturing me.i do not understand it.

i'm still in pain,but i know that by HIS GRACE,i'll come through.he is on his way back,but i'll not move in with him just yet.i'll like to sought myself out,we'll talk heart to heart and from there,we'll know the way forward.
if not for my mother who danmed all consequences and stuck her neck out for me,they'd have done horrible things to me.

okay,my husband was here last night,and we talked for long hours-into the night.it was a very emotional one for me. right now i think i'm falling ill-stress and all that.
we talked about everything that went on from the day we got the message to date.i have never seen my husband that way.he looked like the whole world was on him.he said he was sorry and that he had learnt his lesson.he felt he could handle the situation without anyone being hurt,but that blew up in his face.we managed a very close and warm hug.he seemed to understand that just needed a little more time.
about 20mins after he left for work,someone buzzed, it was his sister.my cousin refused to open the door.she said she wanted the key to our house so she could move her things out.she said''please tell that slot to get me the key to my brother's house'' apparently she came on the night flight because i could see her stuff down there.

my cousin called my husband and asked him to come and uproot his sister from her steps or she was going to call the police.i just sat there crying.how can this girl follow me after all the trauma she had caused me.at this point,my cousin's hubby got bk from taking the little boy to school and met her standing there.he asked her to get out.she said ''this is none of your business.you just get that bastard my brother married out here to give me the keys to the house''.amsky was talking to her husband through the buzzer to come in.
she stood there for a while and left.that is where i am now.no peace whatsoever.i'm trying to take it in my stride.despite all these,i still love my husband so much.his sister is just determined to frustrate me out of my home.i don't get why she should call me such names.there is one thing that makes me happy, she'll eat of the dish she's serving me in some time soon.she's 26,and will marry in the near future.then she'll be sorry.

@Shapey

Take things easy sweetie, no need to cry anymore. Concentrate on your husband and re-newing your love for each other. Better days are ahead and you will look back and smile in content. Your only revenge to your sister in-law is "KARMA". Like the Americans say "YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE" . And sometimes you get double dose of it. You sister in-law is headed for self destructions unless she finds a way to apolgise and change her way.How can a woman be like that at 26, i thought she was 15. Please, quit crying and concentrate on rebuilding your home. It is well with you.

shapey my dear you know we are all in this together.  
me i am waiting for your baby shower and dedication. when we shall sing what the Lord has done for me  i cannot tell it all.  we all have stories of situations we feared the worse and allowed God to pull us through.

whatever you fear now is not as bad as it looks. we are talking about your best freind here you know. i think in one of your earlier post you expected to be forgiven quicker than he did. now this is your turn to show this brother how to forgive. you know you will still need his forgiveness in the future  so show him how to do it

we did a project at work. we had to sit down carrying boxes on our lap and allowed people  throw various objects like silly names, racism, cheating and all form of disgusting names. suddenly  an empty box became full of junks and loads. when it was time for compliments and good things there was no space left to keep them.

we were also told to embrace any person we loved in the enviroment carrying that box you need to see how funny adults looked.  this was at work. i was nearly looking for the offering plate because that lady  preached something to me that day.  hatred and carrying bitterness is a load that pushes those we love from our embrace.

please dear sister biko forgive your darling brother and husband in Jesus name.  show him how to forgive i beg.  have a blessed day.  your relationship is worth saving

joshjosh:

we were also told to embrace any person we loved in the enviroment carrying that box you need to see how funny adults looked. this was at work. i was nearly looking for the offering plate because that lady preached something to me that day. hatred and carrying bitterness is a load that pushes those we love from our embrace

That is a nice one, I just add that to my knowledge.

some guys are just drama queens

Anyway amsky, while I agree that since shapey and her husband were finally able to talk (hopefully they've both come to an agreement on how such matters should be dealt with) and that she should go back hiome and help him with his exams, she CANT go anywhere UNTIL something is done about her sister in law, either her husband talks to her or whatever he wants to do, point is shapey should stay with you guys until her husband settles things with that witch.

Until then, there wont be any peace and her going back there when that tart is running around will just make things worse. When her husband gets things straightened out, perferrably by getting a restraining order on the sister away from shapey then yes she should definitely move back in and hopefully everything will be normal again, un til then No.

hello everyone.i've read the posts.and they all made sense to me.
my husband had to do an about turn when he heard of his sister's latest drama.he came back,we went to the house together and sorted out his sister's stuff.it's now in storage.
her monetary claims are a gigantic lie.where did she get the 8k from to loan my husband and i?i cant help laughing at this point.anyway,like i said earlier,experience teaches.

joshjosh are you married?when you do-if you're not-she'll be so lucky.my husband has alerted the cops about his sister's threats.she sent me an e-mail saying she'll deal with me and that my parents will search for me.she has been asked by the cops to''pop in and have a chat with us''.
i do not know now if there'll be any such thing as a restraining order,but since the police are aware,she'll be wary of doing anything against the law.
when that is handled,then i'll be heading back home,hoping to continue with my hitherto peaceful life.

Shapey,
Thank God u had a safe trip.
As for ur husband,I'm begging you to pls reconsider and
go home.He needs you now more than ever.
YOu had confronted your worst nightmares and I believe that's the end of it.
You are better now,wiser.
What you just passed thru will definitely make you a better woman.
It is well.

@ shapey

If you keep to your signature 'don't worry be happy' then sky is the limit.

I don't know this your sister-in-law but I think she is the one the devil is using unfortunatelty for her she is almost ready matured woman for marriage. If she is lucky to have anyone to marry her then it will be pay backtime.

Remember my advice in my previous post here.

Thera are 2 types of war. The spiritual and the physical. Usually people who are not here with you in the UK will be fighthing spiritual but once you call the name and blood of jJesus with your husband in prayer and fasting. They cannot do you or your husband anything.

I willalso advice your husband to pretend as if both of you are on your own and not pick anyones phone for some foreeable future. Plant disarray and confusion in the camp of the enemy, don't let them know what you are doing, that way they wil be asking questions 'are they or are they not together, they will be busygossipping while you are building your life and making babies.

You and your husband are very lucky couple. You quickly able to see the eyes of the enemy early in your marriage before you have children so you will know how to handle in-laws from both sides.

One more piece of advice, just ask your mother to pray for you and encourage you in your marriage and any negative thing she might see or hear for her to just continue to pray for you. Because if you ask her she has fought her own battle with your father's family and her own family with her own marriage.

I see bouncing baby this time next year. have a great day with your hubby and God bless you abundantly.

For this last post from Shapey I say,
Jesus i Thank you wellu wellu, i thank You wellu wellu.
The Lord has done it again

shapey:

joshjosh are you married?when you do-if you're not-she'll be so lucky.my husband has alerted the cops about his sister's threats.she sent me an e-mail saying she'll deal with me and that my parents will search for me.she has been asked by the cops to''pop in and have a chat with us''.
i do not know now if there'll be any such thing as a restraining order,but since the police are aware,she'll be wary of doing anything against the law.
when that is handled,then i'll be heading back home,hoping to continue with my hitherto peaceful life.

I still personally think a restraining order should be drawn up in case she tries anything fishy while you are at work or anywhere outside your house. Either way as long as the cops have been notified, all should be well.

Btw, you should give the cops the copy of the email and whatever threatening garbage she sends so they are fully aware of how psychotic the girl is.

and yes when all that mess is handled THEN you should go back home and hopefully by His grace your life will be fine again and your husband will pass his exams 

Shapey,
The nightmare is over already. I think you and your husband need to be together asap and be under one roof so that the healing can take place quicker. The more you see each other and talk, the quicker your relationship will get back to its original state. I know it may not be easy at the beginning but just go through the motions such as exchanging warm greetings, welcome him back from work with a hug, calling him his pet name (even if it sounds heavy in your mouth at the moment), etc. Just begin to do what you used to do before this whahala started and before long, it will be as if you never had a misunderstanding with him.

I don’t believe in separation or divorce because they never solve the problem. Fortunately enough, He loves you very much and vice versa despite all the brouhaha. You are a winner already!!

Stay blessed.

shapey:

my husband had to do an about turn when he heard of his sister's latest drama.he came back,we went to the house together and sorted out his sister's stuff.it's now in storage.

That's what i'm talking about! That's how to be a man. Whoever is not for you is against you. Dont matter if its a blood relative she has just got to go. Abeg make you go enjoy your husband. Ding-Dong the biaaaatch is gone!  

I am happy things are looking up for the couple. As for that his sister, she should just be deported o! Infact, I pray she marries the worst man in the world and have the worst in laws in the world. I don't even know what word to describe her with.

at last things are indeeding [b]shapey[/b]ing up. Bye bye to witches in your home . . . ur husband i'm sure is very sorry pls go home and at least see him thru his exams first.

no-ooo the baby won't wait till next year.once she leaves with her husband now,i know he'll score.the guy is able to do all things.
her hubby is working on getting a restraining order,we are hoping that'll be cleared up by friday morning.she has finally agreed to go back to her house when the restraining order is done.
as for that sister in law,she must pay me o!!!!my £850 full payment.i know she'll come to her senses,and crawl back asking to be forgiven.she's a very wicked person.
her husband is still in shock at his sister's early morning performance.he now knows his family is up to no good.i know they'll come thru.

her hubby is working on getting a restraining order,we are hoping that'll be cleared up by friday morning.she has finally agreed to go back to her house when the restraining order is done.

Excellent

thanks that restraining order must be in place quick. God bless you for being there for her. mayyou get support even before the need arise in your life.

Everything God Said About You Will Come to Pass

Daily Devotional Wednesday, January 23 from Called to Conquer

Today’s Scripture Reading: Genesis 37:5–36, 45:1–15 Key Verse: Genesis 45:8

It was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.After Joseph’s jealous brothers threw him into a pit and sold him into slavery because of his visions, he soon found himself in Potiphar’s house where he again faced mistreatment.

Although he was only seventeen years old at the time, Joseph held on because somehow he received and believed the vision of God despite his circumstances and the many people who tried to stop him.Whatever God spoke about you in eternity will happen in your life, no matter what people try to do to you financially, politically, physically, or spiritually.

If God said it, you will get it.God said in Jeremiah 1:5 that before you were formed in your mother’s womb, He knew you. Paul added in 2 Timothy 1:9 that not only did God call you, but He gave you a holy calling. No one can add to it or subtract from it. The devil cannot add or take anything away, no matter what he throws at you.God said it, so it has to happen.

Regardless of whatever happens in the “in-between” time, the things God said will come to pass. He will see to it that you make it through to the end.Today's Prayer:Heavenly Father, thank You for divine purpose and the holy calling You have given me. Today I am reminded that it was You who sent me here and not other men or women.

What You have said about me will come to pass as surely as the sun rises each day, and no one can add to or subtract from Your decrees. Thank You, in Jesus’ name.

joshjosh you have been such a great guy.thanks.i didn't think you were this born anew.
that's good.pls keep being yourself okay. many thanks.

Oga o.
Me thinking this story was over and i see like 5 more pages.

Na wa o.
Shapey welcome back jare and i thank God for journey mercies.

All i can say is that tank God for brilliant family members.
Your cousin, sister, mother etc.

Girl, i have experience the whole different language palava.
In my case, they even brought a wife to him, into our house and they spoke their language - me still being all nice and cordial while they killed me in their native tongue.

Girl, this is a real eye opener sha - you and ur man has some serious issues to discuss - for sure.
And girl dont even think that its over, get on ur knees and get closer to the God that was present when u said ur vows.

I dont blame ur Mum, i would have done the same thing.

i wouldnt exactly give that title to a guy known as being an advocate for female circumsion, amsky but hey whatever

adeboo, you didnrt understand the language at all??

D-reloaded:

i wouldnt exactly give that title to a guy known as being an advocate for female circumsion, amsky but hey whatever

adeboo, you didnrt understand the language at all??

What language?

adeboo:

Girl, i have experience the whole different language palava.
In my case, they even brought a wife to him, into our house and they spoke their language - me still being all nice and cordial while they killed me in their native tongue.

Im referring to this.