I-man:

@RichyBlack

You seem to know a wee bit about restraining orders,any chance you have been at the receiving end of one?

Can there be any scenario in which the subject of a restraining order can be kept uninformed about the order? What will then be the purpose of the order in the first place ?

That 's my point! They may not inform the subject in advance, but must inform later. So, keeping the subject in the dark is usually temporary and applicative only in certain instances.

Ol boy, if you're living in any Western society and you're not familiar with the laws, then you'll be taken for a ride. I try to know ALL THINGS LEGAL, my dreams of a JD from Harvard/Yale/Stanford/Columbia law school, notwithstanding!

I-man:

This idea that a good wife has to be obedient irritates me.Obedient to who?Many women are more intelligent than their male partners.

Well said, but you see, I-man, I'm sure you're more intelligent than a good number of the writers of your laws in the UK, and yet you obey those laws. I'm just wondering if intelligence is the yard-stick for obedience, just wondering.


Marriage vows (traditional):

Male: I love you, _____, and I know that God has ordained this love. Because of this I desire to be your husband. Together we will be vessels for His service in accordance with His plan, so that in all areas of our life Christ will have the pre-eminence. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to love, guide, and protect you as Christ does His Church, and as long as we both are alive. According to Ephesians 5 and with His enabling power, I promise to endeavor to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as a part of myself because in His sight we shall be one.

Female: I love you, ____ and I know that you love me. Because of this I desire to be your wife. For _ years I have prayed that God would lead me to His choice and I am confident that His will is being fulfilled tonight. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future I promise to be faithful to you. I will love, serve, and obey you as long as we both are alive. Christ told us that the wife must submit herself unto her own husband as unto the Lord. For as Christ is Head of His Church so is the husband head of his wife. _____, I submit myself to you.

No be me write am o!

I am quite aware of the law Richy and that a restraining order requires both parties else the dumb ass wouldnt know where NOT to go. I watch Law & Order too, jare. Make I hear word.

It was wishful thinking on my part.

@RichyBlack

The obligation placed on a woman to obey her husband is one of those Biblical rules that erodes my Christian faith.Just makes no sense to me at all.

I have put it on the "ignore" list.

My question really is,what is the point of that rule? Relating it to this thread,the husband has shown little wisdom in his attitude to his wife.On what grounds should his wife continue being "obedient" to such a man? Given all the emotional turmoil he has put her through.

RichyBlacK:

I see your point. The West sometimes try to paint EVERY aspect of our culture and tradition as bad. I agree some of customs are plain old senseless, however, you find stupid norms and mores in every culture - Africa, West, East, etc. On female circumcision, some misinformed feminists have hijacked the good cause of equal rights for women, to further a known agenda. Not all female circumcision is bad, however, ultra-left elements in Western societies with glaring ignorance of societies beyond their shores believe all women outside Western societies are suffering. Pathetic!

We should continue to clamp down on aspects of our culture that are wicked, senseless and barbaric, but still have the wherewithal to uphold those that do no harm to anyone.

Ok, now I know you are mentally retarded

what is this incomprehensible garbage of "all female circumsion isnt bad"

Since when is female circumsion divided into sections? Are you insane?

Btw, I think it's so funny when ignorant village bunnies think throwing the word "feminist" like it's an insult. Please tell me the advantages of female circumsion for the WOMAN. Please let me in on your demented way of thinking.

These are the same pitiful Nigerians that make fun of Islam and it';s rules on women yet you want to cry and say that your rules are good. How is female circumsion any different than making a woman wear a hijab. Same purpose is it not? At least with the latter however, she can take the damn thing off and that will be it, instead of being physically scarred for the rest of her life

How typical that you have guys telling girls whether or not circumsion is "bad". How the hell would you know? Abi you be hermie? Asinwin.

I-man:

My question really is,what is the point of that rule? Relating it to this thread,the husband has shown little wisdom in his attitude to his wife.On what grounds should his wife continue being "obedient" to such a man? Given all the emotional turmoil he has put her through.

You still suck 4Play but I too would like any answer to this question.

D-reloaded:

Ok, now I know you are mentally retarded

Obviously, your knowledge is false!

D-reloaded:

what is this incomprehensible garbage of "all female circumsion isnt bad"

You and I have different definitions of the word "bad" - keep yours and leave me with mine!

D-reloaded:

Since when is female circumsion divided into sections?

There are different types of female genital mutilation known to be practised today. They include:

* Type I - excision of the prepuce, with or without excision of part or all of the clitoris;
* Type II - excision of the clitoris with partial or total excision of the labia minora;
* Type III - excision of part or all of the external Instruments and stitching/narrowing of the vaginal opening (infibulation);
* Type IV - pricking, piercing or incising of the clitoris and/or labia; stretching of the clitoris and/or labia; cauterization by burning of the clitoris and surrounding tissue;
* scraping of tissue surrounding the vaginal orifice (angurya cuts) or cutting of the vagina (gishiri cuts);
* introduction of corrosive substances or herbs into the vagina to cause bleeding or for the purpose of tightening or narrowing it; and any other procedure that falls under the definition given above.



Sources:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_mutilation
2. http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/

D-reloaded:

Are you insane?

I'm not. Are you?

D-reloaded:

Btw, I think it's so funny when ignorant village bunnies think throwing the word "feminist" like it's an insult. Please tell me the advantages of female circumsion for the WOMAN. Please let me in on your demented way of thinking.

Sorry, I do not have the time to fully educate you on this. See:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_mutilation
2. http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/

D-reloaded:

These are the same pitiful Nigerians that make fun of Islam and it';s rules on women yet you want to cry and say that your rules are good.

I have no problems with Islam.

D-reloaded:

How is female circumsion any different than making a woman wear a hijab. Same purpose is it not? At least with the latter however, she can take the damn thing off and that will be it, instead of being physically scarred for the rest of her life

A most misguided analogy.

D-reloaded:

How typical that you have guys telling girls whether or not circumsion is "bad". How the hell would you know? Abi you be hermie? Asinwin.

Well, I know that women also carry out circumcision on women. Go ask the women.

For your information, I understand Yoruba and don't think you can insult me in that language and get away with it.

I've restrained myself from insulting you and I hope that courtesy will be returned. We do not have to agree on everything, and so bring your points and I bring mine, and we exchange ideas. No need for insults, okay. Thanks!

Im glad you understand Yoruba. I dont speak/write it hoping a person doesnt understand since Im not a coward. It's how I express my frustration with psychopaths

Just reading the "categories" listed just makes me wanna throw up. Dont know how anyone can research any of that and still say "oh it's not that bad". Sheer lunancy obviously

and Im quite aware that this is done by other women in most cases, what the hell is your point? It's a viscious cycle obviously, mothers do it cos mothers before them did it and so on, that doesnt change the fact that it's a demented and barbaric act done for the benefit of men

Notice how you havent given me any advantage of this practice for the women themselves. Im still waiting. Im also waiting for a response to Iman's question

D-reloaded:

I'm glad you understand Yoruba. I don't speak/write it hoping a person doesnt understand since I'm not a coward. It's how I express my frustration with psychopaths

Just reading the "categories" listed just makes me want to throw up. Dont know how anyone can research any of that and still say "oh it's not that bad". Sheer lunancy obviously

and I'm quite aware that this is done by other women in most cases, what the hell is your point? It's a viscious cycle obviously, mothers do it because mothers before them did it and so on, that doesnt change the fact that it's a demented and barbaric act done for the benefit of men

Notice how you havent given me any advantage of this practice for the women themselves. I'm still waiting. I'm also waiting for a response to Iman's question

The reasons given by families for having FGM performed include:

* psychosexual reasons: reduction or elimination of the sensitive tissue of the outer Instruments, particularly the clitoris, in order to attenuate sexual desire in the female, maintain chastity and virginity before marriage and fidelity during marriage, and increase male sexual pleasure;
* sociological reasons: identification with the cultural heritage, initiation of girls into womanhood, social integration and the maintenance of social cohesion;
* hygiene and aesthetic reasons: the external female Instruments are considered dirty and unsightly and are to be removed to promote hygiene and provide aesthetic appeal;
* myths: enhancement of fertility and promotion of child survival;
* religious reasons: Some Muslim communities, however, practise FGM in the belief that it is demanded by the Islamic faith. The practice, however, predates Islam.

===========

Although FGC is practiced within particular religious sub-cultures, FGC transcends religion as it is primarily a cultural practice.[30][31][32] UNICEF stated that when "looking at religion independently, it is not possible to establish a general association with FGM/C status."[33] The arguments used to justify FGC vary; they range from health-related to social benefits:[34]

* maintenance of cleanliness
* maintenance of good health
* preservation of virginity
* enhancement of fertility
* prevention of promiscuity
* increase of matrimonial opportunities
* pursuance of aesthetics
* improvement of male sexual performance and pleasure
* promotion of social and political cohesion

@shapey,

I hope your husband is moving rhythmically with you in consonance, RIGHT NOW 3:51 AM (London Time) - tomorrow na Friday, just bone that work sef!

Babies are coming! I predict twins!

Did shapey complain about FGM? How did it suddenly become a topic of discussion?

D__D:

Did shapey complain about FGM? How did it suddenly become a topic of discussion?

I wonder o.

D reloaded was so determined to change this thread to FGM.

If she has some scores to settle with Josh, she should go to the FGM thread.

Wetin concern shapey, her hubby and amsky with FGM and FGC?

i beg you o!!!! shapey is not a circumcised female.that does not happen in our family.we are whole and enitre-just the way we were made.
richyblack and d-reloaded pls cool temper.this is nothing to get worked up over.we all have different opinions on different issues.that should not be a problem at all.d-reloaded i can see you are a very strong willed woman-now that good.

ehmmm richyblack shapey and her hubby moved more rhythimically than you can imagine o . i saw them sharing a long kiss in the sitting room .only goodness knows what that long sensual kiss led to behind closed doors.i'm scared for the poor bed.by the time i left this morning,they were still in bed.work will resume on wednesday for both of them.so baby making all the way

i'm still waiting for a suggestion on how to get my £850 back.nobody is saying anything.i need suggestions or else,you'll all contribute handsomely to offset that debt

See Shapey who was threatening to take time off . . . women sef. Na the bed i blame.

amsky:

i'm still waiting for a suggestion on how to get my £850 back.nobody is saying anything.i need suggestions or else,you'll all contribute handsomely to offset that debt

If you have some evidence you loaned her the money, you can file a suit in small claims court. Court fee should be less than £100.

who is this annoyance called naked wire sef?

d-reloaded i can see you are a very strong willed woman-now that's good.

I wasnt raised to be any other way. 

Anyway  since I do respect shapey and her family lol I will take the whole hoopla into another thread 

Btw since Iman's question DID have to do with the topic at hand, we are all still waiting for an answer.

@ richyblack

£100 is too much for me right now.how can i spend a whole £100.i asked her and she told me to meet the ''dogs'' that slammed her with a restraining order to give me the money.i guess it's finally going to be a bad debt.the horrible thing is that she used my credit card to purchase things worth £850.that's how the problem started o.now i'm paying off the debt.

i'll rather use the £100 in offsetting the credit card payment.

I can never give anyone my credit card not even my siblings. I'd rather give them cash

Kai, no be me. Why did you give it to the lunatic in the first place?

that girl na real bad market. see all that money! Ol boy.

it is girls like this that you pray never to have the misfortune of being hooked to.

is it not me and my kindness.even her brother refused to give her.we went to IKEA together and she said she forgot her wallet and needed to buy stuff for her boyfriends new place.she asked me to kindly add her shopping and pay for it,with a promise to payback that month end.i reminded her it was my credit card.i dont know the devil that pushed me into going out with that credit card.i got shopping worth about £100.she now blasted the leftover £850.this was since july 2007.till date,i've been begging for the money like a begger.i have started paying back,but it's paining me sooooooooooooo much.ah-ah.how can anyone spend someone else's hard earned cash like that.i'll smack her o.pls warn her

D__D:

Did shapey complain about FGM? How did it suddenly become a topic of discussion?

RichyBlack even came up with 4 diagrams of the female reproductive organs

amsky:

is it not me and my kindness.even her brother refused to give her.we went to IKEA together and she said she forgot her wallet and needed to buy stuff for her boyfriends new place.she asked me to kindly add her shopping and pay for it,with a promise to payback that month end.i reminded her it was my credit card.i don't know the devil that pushed me into going out with that credit card.i got shopping worth about £100.she now blasted the leftover £850.this was since july 2007.till date,i've been begging for the money like a begger.i have started paying back,but it's paining me sooooooooooooo much.ah-ah.how can anyone spend someone else's hard earned cash like that.i'll smack her o.please warn her

Since she's moronic enough to spend someone else's 850 pounds on her boyfriend's place, why wasnt she living in said boyfriend's place instead of disrupting their marriage? Oloshi

What were her excuses for not paying before this whole mother in law situation happemed, amsky?

I-man, D-reloaded, D__D, and all the rest:

A strange feeling came over me, call it sixth sense or whatever, but I think this whole story was made up by one person. This cannot be real. I'm having serious doubts about this tale. I have my reasons and would share them later. Anyone that observes carefully should see that there is something unsettling about this whole story; something unreal. I've had many experiences with human emotions and this isn't looking real anymore - the emotion of the characters, especially shapey's goes against normal human emotions. I stand to be corrected, but this is how I feel.

@EveryBody


Shhhh, keep quiet shapey and her hubby are riding the roller coaster. THEY ARE MAKING A BABY!


@Richyblack

You know what bro'? I had the same suspicions but let's just pretend they are real characters. Shapey might be the same as amsky.

I wouldnt say so RichyBlack . . . things like this happen.
I don't think someone would have made up all these just to keep us entertained . . . there have been worse experiences like this.
What makes you think shapey made it all up?

Her husband did not behave differently from several men i know . . .

@RichyBlack

Normally,when I come to a thread.I read the first post and the last posts.I haven't been following this thread and thus wouldn't know whether Shapey/Amsky are ingenious fabulists,quite frankly,I don't care.

Because these stories are often made up,I don't really have interests in these sort of threads.

richyblack!!!!!!!!
what was that you said?pls let us know more about your 6th sense or instincts.shapy will sure be glad to see this.
the 'person'who made it up is a master story teller indeed.who knows you may watch it on your screen someday.

@d-reloaded.the girl said she did not have money.whenever i aske she'll keep postponing the payment.if i had known things will turn out this way,i'd have prevailed on her one way or the other.
richyblack i'm waiting.

richyblack,just seen dr.duke's post.you may want to read it too.

RichyBlacK:

I-man, D-reloaded, D__D, and all the rest:

A strange feeling came over me, call it sixth sense or whatever, but I think this whole story was made up by one person. This cannot be real. I'm having serious doubts about this tale. I have my reasons and would share them later. Anyone that observes carefully should see that there is something unsettling about this whole story; something unreal. I've had many experiences with human emotions and this isn't looking real anymore - the emotion of the characters, especially shapey's goes against normal human emotions. I stand to be corrected, but this is how I feel.

Perhaps it;'s the spirit of the women who have been mutilated coming for your blood?

What exactly is so out of the ordinary in this situation for it to be so "abnormal" to you? Are you saying such things don't happen? esp in Nigeria?

sweet t you also think shapey and i teamed up or what?  okay you think i am both 'characters'? it would have been funny it were'nt sad.i work okay.i have two kids to care for as well as my husband and my career. what this means is that i may not have all the time you think i do to think or conjure up 'dramas' in my head simply for your 'entertainment' on this site.

i can't even begin to imagine what's so out of this world in this that people will begin to think it was thought up simply for entertainment.or is the fact that the couple came back together so difficult to comprehend or what? i myself have been through some rough times and for the first time,i shared it with people here,and got suggestions which saved the day.so why is this simply for your amusement richyblack?

i'm still waiting to hear from you richyblack .i feel bad because i introduced my cousin to nairaland,and when the burden was getting too much for her to bear,i said to her to getit out here and hear the views of people who do not know her and vice versa.only for this whole thing to be put to ridicule like this by someone who thinks i'll leave my job as a med assistance to give him pleasure on a website such as this.

people go through worse experiences in their marriages and thereaftersort out their differences.my mother has had a very horrible experience,so horrible that if i share that experience here,i'll outrightly be called a blatant liar.but she stuck with my father till this day-infact let's not go down that road.

enjoy the rest of your evening.

@Amsky

No no sweetheart, i'm not saying that. Please take care ok?