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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? (37602 Views)
Poll: Does God recognize traditional weddings?Yes: 80% (210 votes)No: 19% (52 votes) This poll has ended |
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Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 12:24am On Jan 11, 2008 |
This Is Not Fornication, Or Is It? You are engaged to a fine lady that means the world to you,the big Church wedding is set for Christmas time. The traditional wedding (or a court wedding) is performed in August and her people finally hand her over to the groom according to customs. As Christians can the man and woman begin to enjoy each other in spite of the fact that they've not wedded in Church? |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Nobody: 12:27am On Jan 11, 2008 |
No they cannot begin to chop themselves. Until the marriage is blessed IN A CHURCH before God and man, the traditional thingy is not valid at least from a biblical stand point. Just my oppinion. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 12:28am On Jan 11, 2008 |
I have sinned kidding |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 12:33am On Jan 11, 2008 |
davidylan: But most Christians have preachers bless their union in the traditional marriage ceremony too. We had a powerful preacher and even altar call in mine. The best Christian band from Aba was there and choirs from 2 churches came dressed in their robes and sang special numbers. The only difference was that I was not in a white gown and he was not in suit I felt married after the ceremony so why couldn't we chop? I know we Christians have that rule but I don't know why we say so. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Nobody: 12:39am On Jan 11, 2008 |
+osisi: just a question though, if you already felt married then why go ahead with the white wedding? Again just my humble oppinion, the white wedding (at least for a christian couple) is a testament to the world that both have kept themselves pure before God and man up until that day. Maybe traditional marriages have changed as in the old days it was just a custom without pastors and altar calls. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 12:44am On Jan 11, 2008 |
davidylan: I ask the same question. I think it's just because that is the norm It's such a waste of money. My dear it has o Even funerals now have altar calls. Things have changed. We had our traditional on a Wednesday and wedded on Saturday the same week,talk about feeding the multitude for days. We Nigerians sabi waste |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 12:47am On Jan 11, 2008 |
I'm sure I'm not the only Christian asking why it is considered fornication to chop after the court or traditional wedding |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Uzzyan: 12:49am On Jan 11, 2008 |
Even if the trad thing was done with much glamour and with priests and what have you. My dear sis it was not done in the church which is the house of God. As dave said ur white attire shows purity. If u feel that getting down is ok for u. Then no qualms all u gats do is just to go get a milk wedding gown. So so that is all i think i gats say for now. @ last post I know sha but anyways that would make one marry asap |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Gamine(f): 12:52am On Jan 11, 2008 |
My parents are yet to do their white wedding and they ve been married for over 30 yrs so are you gonna tell me , they have been fornicating and all six kids are bastards! i dont think so! God recognises all legal institutions So you dontt have to dress up in white before you know your gettiing married! 1 Like |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Nobody: 12:55am On Jan 11, 2008 |
There is a reason we have the white wedding . . . the problem is that it has been so devalued over time that people no longer understand its spiritual significance. Atheists now get married in white wedding gowns in chapel halls, even muslims have since joined the bandwagon. Until we are joined in the household of faith in the presence of God and the brethren i dont consider myself married even if i had a traditional wedding. Neither of my uncles were allowed to go home with their wives after the traditional marriage. Everyone had to go stay with family members until the white wedding proper. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Esss(m): 1:07am On Jan 11, 2008 |
If you have paid the bride price to her parents, and the family has recognised you as their in-law. You are traditionally/customarily allowed to put you smartcard into her decoder. If you do it the legal way i.e through the court, in the presence of witnesses {usually the parents}, that means you are legally allowed to card into her ATM. If you go to church (N/B; A church permitted by law to perform wedding ceremonies and give out legally recognised certificate), this means you are now spiritually and legally allowed to put your sim in her phone. Simply cos u have not done the white wedding does not make the union a sin before God. White weddings most times are just a formality or a chance for the union to be blessed by the church. The day the bride price is paid, you are now husband and wife. 2 Likes |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Nobody: 1:18am On Jan 11, 2008 |
Esss: lol oh how so subtly the world has succeeded in watering down God's own rules. It is not the white wedding perse but its spiritual significance that makes it absolutely important. White weddings are not a formality, they are the outward offering of our bodies in Holy Union to Christ Himself. Christ likens the relationship between a man and his wife to that between Him and the church . . . to trivialise that process of joining oneself to his wife as a "legal" matter or "mere formality" or a chance to pay bride price is not right. God does not recognise a "legal" declaration of salvation . . . even if you file an affidavit to that effect at the UN world court. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 4:38am On Jan 11, 2008 |
Gamine: Not at all. If they publicly declared themselves as married legally,they are now husband and wife |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 4:51am On Jan 11, 2008 |
davidylan: But David where is the ruling that a man and woman must first come into a church to be declared married. I know that's what we do but where is the express instruction to do so? When Isaac took Rebecca and Jacob took Leah and Rachel,what we saw were gifts exchanged and that night they knew themselves. The marriage at Cana,we have no record that a priest joined the couple or the woman wore white,all we read about was a feast. Many areas in the Bible talk about a man taking a wife so I believe whatever legal means a man uses to dclare a woman his wife should suffice. In the parable of the virgins where Christ was teaching on a heavenly principle using earthly example,we hear of a banquet when the bridegroom arrives. I'm not saying the so called white wedding is insignificant,all I'm saying is that it may just be a ceremony that we are used to and that it's the standard. The exchange of rings,wedding vows,wearing a white flowing garment and all that is just what we made up ourselves as a rule. [b]I believe for Christians,biblically speaking,a crowd of witnesses,blessings from the parents and a man or men of God is in order but I won't dare say that those who did not go into the four walls of a building called a church are unmarried what about those who marry by the beach with a minister?[/b]Please someone should correct me with biblical references,I am always eager to learn what I don't know. 4 Likes |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by chatykrew(m): 10:35am On Jan 11, 2008 |
@osisi i cant but help myself laugh, +osisi: i agree wit you tot pattern that church or no church, as long as both accept and are committed to it, parents have agreed and sought for pastors blessing i dont think anything is wrong with dat, as ess said Esss: well that is how i feel , oh |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by pilgrim1(f): 2:04pm On Jan 11, 2008 |
davidylan: Lol. . . @davidylan, Yes and No - your submission here is either way. From a "biblical stand point", the traditional thingy is not valid. But so does the traditionalist argue, because from his own "stand point", the CHURCH thingy is NOT valid! This thread has kept us chatty in the office (break time). Trust us women, our mouths talk this and that! Someone silenced the rest of us when he finally asked (after a long silence, listening to us): Abeg una well-well, which Church did Abraham wed Sarah before im own valid? He just smiled and promptly left the staff room! |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by lafile(m): 3:27pm On Jan 11, 2008 |
What happens to the people who just decide to have a "church blessing" as it is called? |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by dafidixone(m): 3:40pm On Jan 11, 2008 |
You are engaged to a fine lady that means the world to you,the big Church wedding is set for Christmas time. In my own opinion, I think coming together of Man and woman ordained by God must have the consent of Parents. The white Wedding thing I think is the culture of the White that introduced Christianity to us. I want us to mark the word "Consent of Parents". Permit me to say this people decided to make things complicated because they love some ceremonial aspect of a particular method. Some also because they like to display wealth they choose all the method available to Marrige. After all the mariage attended by Christ was not describe as being White one. And I don't think there is anywhere in the bible that provide a particular order of engament between man and woman. @ poster, You have your Parents (Wife and Husband) consent? and that is suppose to be your Traditional. I will just like to tell you that you are the one making life more complicated for yourself. You could have decided on one of the three available methods. But I am not God to Judge anybody. the Bible says if your Conscience does not condemn you, You have been eating the yam anyway Love your wife! keep eating the yam In my own opinion you are not a fornicator except you may ask for pardon if you have been eatingf the yam before the |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 5:19pm On Jan 11, 2008 |
dafidixone: I am female and the scenario I created is not about me but most Christians are faced with that situation constantly. My own "waiting period" was only 3 days thank God and after my traditional,I did ride home with my husbands people but my mother in law insisted I sleep in her room,she is a Holy Ghost filled woman and did not want any mago mago in her home before the white wedding. I only posted this topic because,I've always thought about it and wondered if those who actually did sleep together were fornicating and my answer seems to be NO. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by jokepearl(f): 5:26pm On Jan 11, 2008 |
Let start with this question, What is marriage? I am going to give a biblical defination Gen 2:23-24. To me so far the two families are involved and the wife's parent hands her over to the husband they are married. Even the church (Most churches i Know) can't marry two people without the two parents in agreement. The church is for blessing and also to involve the spiritual family. So there si no sin involved. Even the church wedding is void without a court notice, Let people respond first. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by jokepearl(f): 5:32pm On Jan 11, 2008 |
Even the church wedding is void without a court notice, What i mean here (before i am torn to pieces) is that as proof of marriage u can't just give the church name without a court thing it won't be legal in (my country sha) |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by dafidixone(m): 5:46pm On Jan 11, 2008 |
I am female and the scenario I created is not about me but most Christians are faced with that situation constantly. Follow Christ and not People. Laws were made because of Man and not Man because of Law. My dear Sister Just understand your relationship with God let the dead bury themslves Happy Married Life |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by rockiedink(m): 12:18am On Jan 12, 2008 |
i have a very valid question in this scenario; what makes up the church? the building or the people? bear in mind that we are God's temple not some whitewashed building! afterall, the temple wey fine pass any church wey dey Naija today where na God dem for dey worship, wetin Jesus talk about am? no be say dem go destroy am him talk? abegi make we learn to think with our heads following wetin the Bible talk and not some rubbish some Pastors and 'churches' feed us. why do we have brains for Christ's sake! |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Nobody: 12:21am On Jan 12, 2008 |
now am beginning to get confused |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by TayoD1(m): 2:00am On Jan 12, 2008 |
@pilgrim1, Yes and No - your submission here is either way. From a "biblical stand point", the traditional thingy is not valid. But so does the traditionalist argue, because from his own "stand point", the CHURCH thingy is NOT valid!Which one be di yes and no now? The word of God is yes and by us the Amen is spoken. To those who believe that the marriage is only recognised by God when done in a church, does that mean all married unbelievers who have never stepped in a church are fornicators? Absolutely not. The important thing in marriage is that the one in authority hands over the authority to another. In this instance, a man leaves and is removed from the authority of his parents, and the woman's parents hand her over to the man. That is why Genesis tells us that a man must leave his father and mother. As for the woman, we saw God bringing and handing over Eve to Adam, thus relinquishing his fatherly authority to Eve. When this two are done, a marriage has taken place. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Nobody: 2:14am On Jan 12, 2008 |
Tayo-D: Oga Tayo-D, i was typing out a piece in my defence when someone logged me out mistakenly. Now that i have read this piece i am better educated on this matter. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 2:16am On Jan 12, 2008 |
Tayo-D: My brother I had the same question in mind. Am I more married than a woman whose parents accepted a few thousands of naira,bottles of schnapps and kegs of palmy and sent their daughter on her way? |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by osisi5: 2:19am On Jan 12, 2008 |
davidylan: You see david,all you need is for a man to dash his daughter to you and before we can say Jack Robinson,belle don begin protrude |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by Nobody: 2:59am On Jan 12, 2008 |
+osisi: My sister, no be so o. We must enjoy madam first before pikin begin to appear abi. Back to topic, Tayo-D's post opened my eyes to see things a different way. But why is it a tradition that young married couples especially in nigeria are not allowed to sleep together before the white wedding even after the traditional? |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by toshmann(m): 3:51am On Jan 12, 2008 |
davidylan: which nigeria are you talking about? the same nigeria wey dem born me? where bobos de mount the babes 5yrs b4 the babe parents even sabi say the bobo de exist? abegi for my villa, as the traditional wedding de finish, na so de dude de carry the babe waka. even if the wedding end by mid-night, the babe no go sleep for her papa house at all. e no de happen for my side. white wedding na ceremony. period. blessing ko, blessing ni. so if i marry my okpekesis, bend on my knee, erupt some advance level prayers, God no go bless my marriage wey dey legal b4 man and b4 God? guy cool down. church wedding dey expensive these days. @BabyO, so baby una no bree wait 3 days b4 una chop "feast of passover" |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by longman83(m): 3:37pm On Jan 12, 2008 |
As far as I'm concerned this is something of a grey area, akin to the scenarios Paul discussed in Romans 14. I think this passage and also 1 Corinthians 8:10-13 are very instructive in dealing with apparently disputable issues like this. I'll post Romans 14 for it is a very good read: Romans 14 1 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. |
Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication? by longman83(m): 4:10pm On Jan 12, 2008 |
We can insert the wedding ceremony issue in place of the issues discussed in the passage above, such as eating meat and sacred days. Regardless of where we stand on the issue, each should be convinced in his own mind, desist from looking down on others with different views, AND glorify God by keeping his own conscience. Personally, I find Tayo-D's post to be spot on. The marriage covenant was instituted by God long before the church wedding ceremony and other traditions came onto the scene. Therefore, all wedding ceremonies are valid before God. However, those of us who hold to this view must ensure that we will not create dissension, back-biting and strife by what our conscience permits. This is esp. relevant for those of us in the ultra-Pentecostal RCCG-type churches, where most Christians hold only the church ceremony to be valid. If you attend a church like this, or are surrounded by such-minded Christians - or even more importantly, have parents with those views - then it is better for you to put off sexual relations until after the church ceremony. As Paul said in Romans 14, 'don't let what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.' As Christians, we ought to put the benefit of others before our own. Just my two cents. Then again, what do I know, I'm single . 1 Like |
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