i got back from school to find my elder bro dating a girl i slept with a year ago
at first i taught he was just gettin his share, but was shooked when i returned
from youth service and he officially bought her an engagement ring and announced
thier engagement furthermore they plan on getting married this june

last week i called the girl and had a long talk with her ,but she is bent on getting married to him saying its our little secret

what would you do if you were in my shoes?

ladies will you allow your sister to marry a guy you slept?

pls help me out here,

Sounds more like it's your pride hurting here!

It's your decision to tell your brother, but I'd leave things be. Do you want to break them up, because you feel your brother has what you for some reason or another, gave up?

As per the question "Would I Let my Brother Marry A Girl I'd Slept With?" How would I stop him? Hold a gun to his head? I'd leave them be!

Some may say, my loyalty should be to my brother, but it's up to him to look into his girlfriend's background, and decide if her past could affect his future, not for me to do his dirty work for him, and start dishing the dirt on her!

Siena:

Sounds more like it's your pride hurting here!

It's your decision to tell your brother, but I'd leave things be. Do you want to break them up, because you feel your brother has what you for some reason or another, gave up?

As per the question "Would I Let my Brother Marry A Girl I'd Slept With?" How would I stop him? Hold a gun to his head? I'd leave them be!

Some may say, my loyalty should be to my brother, but it's up to him to look into his girlfriend's background, and decide if her past could affect his future, not for me to do his dirty work for him, and start dishing the dirt on her!

You got it right my guy! I agree with u 1million percent

@poster ------ Did you just slept with her or was in relationship with her? l need your answer to enable me give you the best advice.

Lets be realistic here . . .

1. The wife-to-be failed to tell her so-called hubby-to-be that she once dated and slept with his own brother . . . that is already a very serious breach of trust.

2. Face it . . . once u've slept with a woman its hard not to repeat it. How will you feel if your wife had a dirty little sex secret between her and ur own blood brother? Can we honestly trust that such will not repeat itself when the husband is not around? Can the husband trust his wife with his own blood brother?

If i were you i would long have warned my brother. There is nothing more devastating than knowing that ur own brother has seen the deepest secrets that you thot were reserved to just you. This is shaping up to be a recipe for not just a failed marriage but a fractured family.

Siena:

Some may say, my loyalty should be to my brother, but it's up to him to look into his girlfriend's background, and decide if her past could affect his future, not for me to do his dirty work for him, and start dishing the dirt on her!

how is he supposed to do this? he's not a prophet, unless his brother and wife tell him he's unlikely to find out.
One day the desires of the flesh will over ride any loyalty to her marriage and she will fall for her husband's brother again.
Like they say . . . talk is cheap. Sometimes a lot of our "responses" are far detached from reality.

ahhh. tricky. but really, what is your own? the girl wasnt good enough for you to marry, but your brother thinks she's wife material. my view is that if she's really a good girl, a good person on the inside, dont spoil things for her or your brother. you wont gain anything from it.

iceblue:

ahhh. tricky. but really, what is your own? the girl wasnt good enough for you to marry, but your brother thinks she's wife material. my view is that if she's really a good girl, a good person on the inside, don't spoil things for her or your brother. you wont gain anything from it.

A "good person on the inside" would not neglect to tell me that she once had sex with my own blood brother. That is already a sign that she is not trustworthy.
You can forgive her for sleeping with other men, when the man involved is your own blood it becomes a different story.

A "good person on the inside" would not neglect to tell me that she once had sex with my own blood brother. That is already a sign that she is not trustworthy.
You can forgive her for sleeping with other men, when the man involved is your own blood it becomes a different story.


u men are difficult people, that's why. even if she had one boyfriend in her life, it will cause problems. what's the recipe for a happy marriage? blind wife+deaf husband!

it's her right to decide whether to tell him or not, but many of you cannot , forgive?, wrong word, because she could not have offended when u werent in the picture, let go is more appropriate, even when it happened in the past and there is nothing left of that occurence or relationship. if they are both sure that their marriage can work, poster should ask the girl whether she wants to come clean with his brother. if they dont tell, he cant have a headache over what he doesnt know

@ Poster really did u guys have a relationship or u just had sex
Was there something that spurred an emotion in her that led to sex, or u just had sex, it could also be that u forced her u know or played on her intelligence, cos as far as we know, she was younger then, than now. Tell us the kind of affair u guys had.

@iceblue
very cool talk there. you talk am well.

@jkpretty
good point

@poster
oya, e dey ya hand. tell us make we reply your question.

It depends on the type of girl I know she is.
If I know she is wayward, I would tell my brother to drop "it" like it's hot
If I know she is good and all other things required in a wife I would keep my mouth to myself!

Iceblue you dont seem to be getting my point. If she slept with another man that is different as its possible both of them would never meet again. But my brother? I will have to live with the vision of him on top of my wife forever and the deeply ingrained lack of trust that each time i leave them alone together i may not be sure what they would be up to.

Another man will fade away . . . my brother will not.

[color=#000099][/color]i suggest it's high time we produce a drug dat wil control u guys gigantic jigbijigi in other 2 avoid all des sexcapades, all des Essex girls should b e-mailed 2 alagbon prison. infact we need ESCC( economic for sexual crime commission).mr presi take note. back 2 u ojare, se u think say life na chop n go. u don 4get wetin bible say, do unto others wat u want dem do 2 u. we philosophers dey call am "Law of Retribution" common man dey call am NEMESIS, bros 4get dat can thin wey som people call 'hurting ur pride" which pride? u better go humble urself so dat papa God 4give u ur sin, s.

@pOSTER

Since u have refused to answer my question about the kind of REL u had with her.

Well, your sins of the past has caught up with u. You may have thought u had a hit & run, or u had a taste of some naive girl & crept away. Cos i believe if u were in love with her then or she had been someone meaningful in your life, You would have included that in your Initial post.

Karma has a way of catching up, Now its your bro in love with the same girl (u probably have abused). Get off their case & seal your lips like she said.


Hmmn I love that bad girl, lol , lol.


Forget the story of telling your bro anything. Cos if u do, i'm sure she can't be that dumb not to be able to produce a simple answer as "I was naive, i thot he loved me, i wanted to tell u but couldn't find how" & your brother is so in love he'll believe, move on & maybe hate u. So why don't u seal your lips from now & wait for your own dream girl. LMPAO!

hi jkpretty, nice words. i gbadun ur reply 2 dat guyman never accept d fact dat na rubbish he do

then if its ure little secret and it doesnt bother u forget about it move on except everytime u see them together thats all u think abt in that case ure kinda in deep shit!!

jkpretty:

@pOSTER

Since u have refused to answer my question about the kind of REL u had with her.

Well, your sins of the past has caught up with u. You may have thought u had a hit & run, or u had a taste of some naive girl & crept away. Cos i believe if u were in love with her then or she had been someone meaningful in your life, You would have included that in your Initial post.

Karma has a way of catching up, Now its your bro in love with the same girl (u probably have abused). Get off their case & seal your lips like she said.


Hmmn I love that bad girl, lol , lol.


Forget the story of telling your bro anything. Cos if u do, i'm sure she can't be that dumb not to be able to produce a simple answer as "I was naive, i thot he loved me, i wanted to tell u but couldn't find how" & your brother is so in love he'll believe, move on & maybe hate u. So why don't u seal your lips from now & wait for your own dream girl. LMPAO!

U got it wrong, she's never going to produce an easy answer here and the fact that she kept quiet for this long is enuff to wreck her intergrity with the husband to be! trust men, nobody buys explanation wen it comes to this!!!

the line of thot is this: if u did with my bro and cudnt tell me, hw much more have u done that i wont ever knw of! it smacks more of pretence no matter how hard the babe has shown to be a gud person!the gudness has become sheer pretence to get him hooked!

its a tough call, and there is no easy way out of this!

like every game of deception, someone is obviously going to get hurt either now or soon enuff!!! cos this poster aint thro yet and the bro is obviously in love or delusion.

whichever way, its a sorry case!! and u ought to av told ur bro wen u saw the babe with him, if u guys were pals!

You guys are just too insecure!

@Kaycrystal

I just went ahead asking the poster a question i knew the answer to. He abviously had a cheap relationship with the girl. In his post he said when he saw them together at first he thot probably it was some in my quote "sharp runs" only for him to get back & the girl has gotten engaged by the brother.

The moment he has refused to open his mouth at first when he saw them together, he should berra keep his mouth shut forever, like the pop will say or is it the reverend?. He thot his brother's relationship with the girl with be casual just like he had with her, but poor big brother fell flatly in love.

My Point is: When u guys go about rubbishing girls, u forget that it could come back to hunt u. The girl he thot he washed his hands off, was cleaned by his own brother. He should take it as it is. That's how life is. He's going to clean up someone else's bitch too. And someone somewhere will think he's gone crazy. lol

jkpretty:

@Kaycrystal

I just went ahead asking the poster a question i knew the answer to. He abviously had a cheap relationship with the girl. In his post he said when he saw them together at first he thot probably it was some in my quote "sharp runs" only for him to get back & the girl has gotten engaged by the brother.

The moment he has refused to open his mouth at first when he saw them together, he should berra keep his mouth shut forever, like the pop will say or is it the reverend?. He thot his brother's relationship with the girl with be casual just like he had with her, but poor big brother fell flatly in love.

My Point is: When u guys go about rubbishing girls, u forget that it could come back to hunt u. The girl he thot he washed his hands off, was cleaned by his own brother. He should take it as it is. That's how life is. He's going to clean up someone else's bitch too. And someone somewhere will think he's gone crazy. lol

These are the type of guys I hate and I am so disappointed David is one of them.

hi,

what goes around definitely comes around.
u slept with her knowning u wanted 2 just enjoy urself,forgetting she's a woman n will get married someday n if u thot of it,it never occurred 2 u it will b ur own brother.How funny.
guys do a whole lot of shit n xpect chic 2 suffer.obviously u took advantage of her even if u did not rape her.
i advice u 2 go ahead n tell ur brother!ewu!

u no longer date her, after one year, she'sa ur brother's wife 2 b n u dey fear or worry say ur brother is lucky.

dis xmas, my friend asked mi exactly d same ? n his name is david.he dated a chic during our service year in d north knowing d chic no send n considering d way she lived .i asked him then if anything was going on, he said nothing was on between them.when i pressed, it seemed i was intruding.i left him.i just saw him iyr after service n guess what?d chic na him elder brother fiancee now.he asked mi what i will do if i were d one n i said nothing alth i saw d worry on his face.i just dey laugh.he asked mi if she was a wife material n i said yes after all i b chic n no fit spoil another no matter what.he forgot we all know d girl is not a wife material but a sex pot.
i wish my friends davids good luck at least after 7yrs dy will come 2 dis forum 2 accuse d chic rather than go 2 court as gbenga obasanjo is doing.

dt girl u dey chop fit be your brother wife so guys stoppppppp destroying others.

michelin89:

You guys are just too insecure!

true talk gurl,

@ poster

I have been in that position. My cousin and a former friend of mine slept together, but it was before I met him. He told me and so did she (eventually).
It's up to your brother to be man enough to realise that it happened before he got in the picture.

I am glad that I was told, but honestly I was even happier that my friend told me before my cousin. It showed I could trust him and everything was in the open.

So try to convince her to tell your brother, but seriously, it's not your place.
Let her be the one to tell.

HELL NO.

Tell him now becos when he finds out^{'cos he will} he will never 4give you.

What u are gonna do?

There is nothing to do.
U arent with her no more, you arent sleeping with her no more so whats the deal?

Since u said u had a long chat with her and she said she is real serious about him, then u need to stay outta it

What i may be tempted to do would be tell one of ma brother's good friends and leave that one to talk with him for me.
At least then he cant say that i didnt tell him.

A

hey, guys thanx for ur concern
there are some things i want to make very clear here

1)our relationship was more than just sex,but we not lookin that far(we were quite young then)

2)the girl involved is someone i hav alot of respect for
i hav no doubt she will make someguy(definitely not my brother) a happy man

3) the thing is that when she found out, we are brothers,
i xpected her to she to tell him,by herself before it got to this stage of marriage
it is not my place to tell my brother(i am not a spoill spot,and i dont intend to tell him nw)

4)it has got nothin to do wit ego,envy or jealousy the main thing is that i have slept with my brothers wife b4, hw i am i supposed to live with dat

@adeboo[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]
b4 they get married or after
if after,then my bro will probably kill me
i strongly think she shld tell him herself

@iceblue
@jkpretty
hope i hav answered your quetion

What's all the rubbish you girls are talking about? Nemesis?
I and a girl had sex, my brother is about marrying her, what's nemesis here?
You open your legs and enjoy, later you say guys are bad.

No matter the situation, i think it's better the girl tells him to avoid chaos when he later find out.Cos i'm quite sure he will find out soonest even if the brother refused telling him. _{My View}