Nairaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 1258603 members, 1698333 topics. Date: Thursday, 23 October 2014 at 06:56 AM

How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband (7377 Views)

My Brother Want To Marry A Widow With Three Children / A Widow's Plight / Having Serious Problems With My Late Husband's Family. (1) (2) (3) (4)

(0) (1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by kemtol: 7:03pm On Oct 04, 2012
Hi nlers. I am a young lady who unfortunately lost my husband after four years of marriage. Its been two and half yes now since my husband death.is it okay for me to start a new relationship now. How many years is a widow required to mourn his husband before moving on. Thanks a lot as u respond.

1 Like

Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by k2039(m): 7:12pm On Oct 04, 2012
I think you can start a new relationship,you are female and you are not growing younger.
Put it behind you and move on with your life.
I'm sorry for your loss
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Kobojunkie: 7:26pm On Oct 04, 2012
where and who made this rule(if one exists on how long anyone can mourn)? undecided

If you find someone, whether it is the next day or 3 months after or 12 years after, go for it. The dead will not mind how you long you mourn em. When we mourn we do not really mourn the dead but we mourn OUR OWN loss . . the dead is dead and gone . .. no consciousness left behind.

2 Likes

Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by ifyalways(f): 7:34pm On Oct 04, 2012
Regardless of which part of the country you come from, 2 years is more than OK, Imo.

Btw,do you have a child for your late husband?
If you are still living in same house you shared with your late hubby, you just have to be discret, no sleeping overs by the new man.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by kemtol: 9:22pm On Oct 04, 2012
tnx to everyone dt responded . iam from d west and i av a son
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by ifyalways(f): 9:35pm On Oct 04, 2012
Are you staying alone with your son or with your in-laws?

If you've performed all the necessary funeral rites,you are good to go.Take your time though and be careful if the type of man/men you introduce into your sons life.
Depends on the type of relationship you shared with your MIL,you can subtly confide in her that you are ready to hit the dating scene again.

Your own mom too should be able to advise you well. wink
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by olapluto(m): 10:28pm On Oct 04, 2012
Why not look after your son for now? Best answer to your question is this:
If you were dead and able to see your living husband, how long will you be OK for him to mourn you for? For real love, it is usually for the rest of the spouse life. For marriage based on money, it is between 1 second - 1 month. Others may vary

3 Likes

Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Nobody: 10:33pm On Oct 04, 2012
kemtol: Hi nlers. I am a young lady who unfortunately lost my husband after four years of marriage. Its been two and half yes now since my husband death.is it okay for me to start a new relationship now. How many years is a widow required to mourn his husband before moving on. Thanks a lot as u respond.
6 months-1 year.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Siga: 10:33pm On Oct 04, 2012
You say u are from the west....so, most likely u be Yoruba......well....if u wan follow our culture......1 yr is enough.....after a yr, u are ok to drop all the black cloths and wear colourful cloths....and u can move on with ur life.....sister.....ur late husband don finish hin own work for this world....u gat work to do....take care of ur son and make sure the new guy loves ur son more than u sef......no wait ooo...time no dey wait for anybody.....
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by abifoluwa: 10:34pm On Oct 04, 2012
ola_pluto: Why not look after your son for now? Best answer to your question is this:
If you were dead and able to see your living husband, how long will you be OK for him to mourn you for? For real love, it is usually for the rest of the spouse life. For marriage based on money, it is between 1 second - 1 month. Others may vary
its beeen four years bro. she be female.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by carefreewannabe(f): 10:36pm On Oct 04, 2012
it's your life and your decision. do whatever makes you happy. everyone is different. some people mourn intesively and therefore need a shorter period of time and some others need more time. nobody should judge you. a year of mourning can feel like 10 years whereas a year of happiness is like a week. time is relative.

all my best wishes to you.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by frosbel(m): 10:44pm On Oct 04, 2012
ola_pluto: Why not look after your son for now? Best answer to your question is this:
If you were dead and able to see your living husband, how long will you be OK for him to mourn you for? For real love, it is usually for the rest of the spouse life. For marriage based on money, it is between 1 second - 1 month. Others may vary

what a strange advice.

He is dead, so she is free to remarry , imo after 1 to 2 years after the funeral.

To suggest otherwise is imposing unnecessary burdens on a young woman.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by obicentlis: 10:46pm On Oct 04, 2012
My dear, life goes on but most importantly with respect to your dead partner. Its not easy anyway, but. Why can't you focus on taking care of your son first? Even if anything will happen, I advice you should very careful considering your son. The best mourning and respect your dead partner will ever get from you is that you give his son the best care and attention. But, if you can't actually stay without a man, look for a friend, not just for dating or marriage sake but a real friend. May God guide you.
 
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Nobody: 10:51pm On Oct 04, 2012
Is there a mourning police who determines for you when you have mourned enough?
You know your pain, you know your heart, you move on when you feel good and ready, we are too outward worry too much about others and suffer in silence
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by peckers: 10:54pm On Oct 04, 2012
kemtol: Hi nlers. I am a young lady who unfortunately lost my husband after four years of marriage. Its been two and half yes now since my husband death.is it okay for me to start a new relationship now. How many years is a widow required to mourn his husband before moving on. Thanks a lot as u respond.
firstly shey you don born?, because that is what matter most, then secondly you can only remarried if you lack something like financial care and sex, thirdly is there anyone disturbing you for a date? these are the Question u need to ask yourself *shikena*
 
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Lexusgs430: 11:05pm On Oct 04, 2012
First question I would ask is, how cordial is your relationship with your late husbands family?
Second question, have they insinuated or mentioned this issue in passing?
Why I ask, is just due to respect of your inlaws and relationship with their Grandson.
But I think 2 years plus is long enough to mourn your late husband.
Wish you luck in your future decisions.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by booqee(f): 11:07pm On Oct 04, 2012
Don't look at how long. Just focus on ur emotions and ur mind. If d situation is such dat you're already loosing it and you badly crave for someone beside you..maybe just for moral and emotional support, why don't u go for it before you loose it and break down into a wreck...sometimes gettin a new partners helps in overcomin dat grief. Btw, i believe ur son needs a man in his life.
But anyway since dis is africa..i guess one'll be tagged as bad if you remarry too quickly. But in ur case, its two years and a half, and i think dats okay..okay to mourn ur husband..okay for u to move on.
But hey, don't let it take u by suprise or shock u if people start running their mouth if you start a new relationship. No send anybody at all. Fact remains dat if u wait 50years b4 u start a new relationship, dem go still run their mouth noni!
Wish u d best!

1 Like

Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Adamo84(m): 11:09pm On Oct 04, 2012
kemtol: Hi nlers. I am a young lady who unfortunately lost my husband after four years of marriage. Its been two and half yes now since my husband death.is it okay for me to start a new relationship now. How many years is a widow required to mourn his husband before moving on. Thanks a lot as u respond.
We should advice you base on which law/custom/tradition? Cos as far as i'm concern the waiting period varies accordingly.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Nobody: 11:14pm On Oct 04, 2012
Adamo84: We should advice you base on which law/custom/tradition? Cos as far as i'm concern the waiting period varies accordingly.
The idea of waiting period is to see if the woman is pregnant for the late husband but we have turned it to something else.

1 Like

 
 
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by amacastel: 11:30pm On Oct 04, 2012
ola_pluto: Why not look after your son for now? Best answer to your question is this:
If you were dead and able to see your living husband, how long will you be OK for him to mourn you for? For real love, it is usually for the rest of the spouse life. For marriage based on money, it is between 1 second - 1 month. Others may vary
@ ola nawa u oooo

Which kind advice be dt 1 if na man no be dt day I'm dy fin anoda beb a because she be wonam u dy tlk lik dis see dt son wil grow take a wife as a companion who wil stat seeing d mum as a disturbance my der go on wit ur lif wen u get anybody u lik cos everybody has his own lif n lif is so sweet
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by ashson: 11:42pm On Oct 04, 2012
Well, in islam a widow will mourn her husband for 4months and 10days. after that she can remarry and move on.

2 Likes

Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by berem(f): 11:52pm On Oct 04, 2012
ozo-dimgba:


U see ur life, call u for wetin? Mind wetin mind u oooo. B4 u ask a widow for a date, ask her wetin kill her husband. Otherwise OYO [on your own] is ur keske. cheesy :
WTF did you just write?
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by nanaman: 12:08am On Oct 05, 2012
Good wife you are,having mourned your husband for so long..remember death is in inevitable so, pick up where you left and move on with life @ least the family members must surely know you have done your bit & you have to move on since you are still young to get into a new relationship and who ever says you have not done enough should kill his/her spouse and mourn till eternity..
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by freecocoa(f): 12:12am On Oct 05, 2012
This issue is kinda sensitive. I know some cultures have a particular time set aside to mourn a spouse or husband as the case maybe.

But i think whenever your heart is ready is okay, i don't know about others but i believe if someone you truly loves dies, it will take you a lot of time to be ready, not saying 2 years is too short but i think you should focus on training your son now and if you are really ready, you won't ask questions.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by talkingfingers: 12:13am On Oct 05, 2012
You've got two primary considerations, you and your son.

Be sure you are emotionally ready to give the new man your best. You need to have moved on from your late husband as it's not ideal to have him come between you and the new guy too frequently. And like others have said, he's got to love your boy like his. Failure to do that should be a deal-breaker.

Bottom line, you don't need to prove to anyone that you loved your late husband by mourning forever. Like the responses here have shown, you can't please us all no matter how hard you try.

All the best.

1 Like

Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by chucky234(m): 12:13am On Oct 05, 2012
If you truly love him then mourn him forever,till your dying day because that's what true love stands for..
You can move on with your live and attend to your every needs but always have in place in your for him,always.
.
Recently a dog was discovered to have spent the last six years sitting beside its dead master's grave watching over him,that's a good example of how a loved one should be mourn.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by Yomieluv(m): 12:24am On Oct 05, 2012
Let the dead bury their dead,do you want to mourn him forever,as if he would do that if it were him,you are good to go after two years,but many factors must come in place,your relationship with your inlaws,your financial status,and your son..those three are VERY important when making decision.
Re: How Long Should A Widow Mourn Her Late Husband by navygrl: 12:53am On Oct 05, 2012
Only you can answer that. When youfeel your heart can handle a new relationship then and only then can you. Boone else can make that decision for you

(0) (1) (2) (Reply)

Can Today's Women Have Successful Careers And Happy Families? / White Wedding Or Traditional Marriage Which One Do Yo Prefere? / Couples Squatting With Parents: Your Experience And Take On It?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See Nairalist and How To Advertise. 68
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.