I will try to keep this as straight as possible. the girl in question is not Nigerian, i am, and won't tell her nationality as am here to seek advice not to spread sentiments. I have been dating this girl for 3 months, 2 weeks and 5 days now, i bet when your in the kind of situation i am now, everyday will count. she's a really nice person, fun to be with,and just to add, really beautiful too, she's the kind of person that stands out cos when you look at the society (environment) she's in, its rare to find such a well "groomed" girl, you know we Nigerian guys we like our girls to be totally submissive, dedicated and respectful not like their foreign counter parts that acts like ur equal in a relationship and all that. The problem in our relationship is that in all of this time we've been dating we've not had sex even once, its not just that part but whenever she senses that a pre-intimacy may lead to sex or something of that nature is coming up she'll just stand up and walk away, you can just imagine the whole scene, sometimes i feel like she's not attracted to me in that kind of way, its frustrating and annoying. I asked her if she's a virgin and she said no, what then is the problem? she wouldnt say. well last night same thing happened and i felt its too much for me to take any more and i went all lose, i was so angry i asked her to leave, at around 1am in the night she sent me the below voice notes, i will attach them so u can listen for urselves, for those who cannot listen to it immediately, in it she explained to me how she was raped 3 times, once when she was as young as 7yrs old. I have no doubt this girl likes me alot, so do i. However if ur a guy and in a relationship for this long and nothing is happening you begin to get the feeling ur being played for a sapp. this happened last night and am confused as what decision to take, first, immediately i felt sorry for asking her to leave, then i felt pity for her. However the idea of her having been raped 3 times is something i also can't ignore. Do i keep on with the relationship hoping she'll be able to cope with the trauma later on? cos it seems to affect her idea of sex. 3 months is a long time. The delimma now is do i stay or do i find a way to end the relationship?

Awwwwwwwwww!
Feel for the girl so much but from the clip she said she 'ALMOST' got rraped, or did i miss something??
And errrmm, i dont think its really a good idea to attach that clip.

.

Remove the clip oga. .its not a good idea..

and

Your action is wrong and bad.. To send a lady you claim you love out at that dark hour just because of s . e . x.

My advise is - leave the girl.. Do not stay with a lady because:
1. You need s . e .x
2. You're single
3. You pity her

Stay only IF YOU LOVE HER.

Well, matters like these are difficult to handle. The questions are 1.do u really love her or u jst want sex 2. Do u mind that she was raped b4 and can u handle the situation. 3. Are you with her for the long haul (do u see her as someone u can marry?) If u can't love her for who she is now, it's better to break up with her immediately. She would hurt but its much better. Trust me, if u stay with her she'll eventually give herself to you because she OBVIOUSLY really loves you. Dnt be selfish because she's has been thru a lot.
PS: I'm speaking to u frm experience so I think u shud listen to me.

U Give men a bad name. Pls remove the clips. Even if she is not a virgin. Have u heard of repentant virGins? And the babe was evn molestd and u came here and put the tape. That's relly insensitive.
Plss leave her, let her find a more mature and caring man.

First of all i didn't listen to the clips. If she sent u that in confidence then u are betraying that by putting it up here.
Secondly,handling rape or near rape is bad enough..it's difficult for a woman to get past that.
All she needs now is a mature,kind n loving that'll see her thru this not one who can't seem to stop thinking thru his penis.
If u can't be that guy then let her go..she'll think u did so coz she was molested n may find it difficult to tell someone else about this but she'll be better of in the longrun.
If u can handlee it then u need to be patient with her.

And Mister u are just way too cruel to send her out late in the night just coz of sex..did u even wat coulda hapnd to her if she met the wrong men on d way home?

I think what the girl need right now does not have any description pertaining to you. She need a loving mature father figure .
Not a sexx starved person.

She was not raped. She was almost and her conviction is now that 'guys are all after sexx and if u don't give them , they force themselves on you'
Unfortunately u are just about to prove her convictions right.

kitty kat: U Give men a bad name. Pls remove the clips. Even if she is not a virgin. Have u heard of repentant virGins? And the babe was evn molestd and u came here and put the tape. That's relly insensitive.
Plss leave her, let her find a more mature and caring man.

"insentitive"? thats really huge, i did not mention her name or give any clue to her identity, still some one seem it fit calling me a betrayer. i didnt come here to humiliate or anything like that, this is some one i care about i've been around with for 3 months, this whole thing came as a shock to me. i could not talk to knon friends about it, cos that would actually been letting out her confidentiality, so i came here where no one knw us just get things straight, and this is what i get?

ITbomb: I think what the girl need right now does not have any description pertaining to you. She need a loving mature father figure .
Not a sexx starved person.

am nothing of what u've said.

Molesting a virgin can be a life time trauma. You need 2 be matured 2 manage her. If u cant cope, just walk away!
I suggest u let her be n give her more time. If agro catch, go ashawo joint.

1. She needs to see a psychologist
2. Show her so much love so she will forget the ugly past.

12 inches!:
Well, matters like these are difficult to handle. The questions are 1.do u really love her or u jst want sex 2. Do u mind that she was raped b4 and can u handle the situation. 3. Are you with her for the long haul (do u see her as someone u can marry?) If u can't love her for who she is now, it's better to break up with her immediately. She would hurt but its much better. Trust me, if u stay with her she'll eventually give herself to you because she OBVIOUSLY really loves you. Dnt be selfish because she's has been thru a lot.
PS: I'm speaking to u frm experience so I think u shud listen to me.

thanks man, i do care about her, it wasnt just about the sex, like i said the way she just walk away without a clue of whats going on just leave u void. now that i knw what it was about, i feel bad. that picture of rape and whole all that is what i needed advice on. how where u able to get tru with that,u said u've been in same position. and oh the clip is off now.

acidosis™:
Remove the clip oga. .its not a good idea..

and

Your action is wrong and bad.. To send a lady you claim you love out at that dark hour just because of s . e . x.

My advise is - leave the girl.. Do not stay with a lady because:
1. You need s . e .x
2. You're single
3. You pity her

Stay only IF YOU LOVE HER.

i felt no one knows us here and it wasnt of any harm, the clip is down now. and it wasnt about the sex, really it wasnt, at the time i actualy thought she was playing me or something. this was not what i expected when i opened this topic, i was in a messed up state of mind and needed to let it out. and i didnt send her out in th dark, never said so, i asked a driver to take her home while we both cool off.

Since when did sex mean that a woman loves u?

this life sef...most of the girls are beeches and most o the guys are fucktards. OP, yes, i'm talking to you.

uj_sizzle: First of all i didn't listen to the clips. If she sent u that in confidence then u are betraying that by putting it up here.
Secondly,handling rape or near rape is bad enough..it's difficult for a woman to get past that.
All she needs now is a mature,kind n loving that'll see her thru this not one who can't seem to stop thinking thru his penis.
If u can't be that guy then let her go..she'll think u did so coz she was molested n may find it difficult to tell someone else about this but she'll be better of in the longrun.
If u can handlee it then u need to be patient with her.

And Mister u are just way too cruel to send her out late in the night just coz of sex..did u even wat coulda hapnd to her if she met the wrong men on d way home?

I did not send her out late, it was around 6pm and there was a driver to take her home.

BoboYekini: this life sef...most of the girls are beeches and most o the guys are fucktards. OP, yes, i'm talking to you.

U dnt me or her or d situation we'r in, so if u've not got anything to say how about u shut up?

Well u never mentioned the driver before...so now i know u aint completely heartless

That aside, i do understand what sexual frustration can do to a man and u aint wrong for wanting to have sex with ur girlfriend (well wen u bring God into it then it's wrong:p) but like we've all said u need patience with her,she lost her virginity to brutal animals and was sexually harassed at 7yrs of age! Icld hit those men ryt now. That's one hell of an ordeal to get past. If u love her that much get her a shrink, if u can't keep showin her why u are the better man..dnt pressure her,let her come to u dis time.

Unless this girl get the psychological help she needs, you will never find happiness with her.
SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP!

guy my cotribution is,for you to listen to esponental,and just do as he said.

and mr brownjay,perfect point,there is no long preaching on evening church. finito

MRbrownJAY: Unless this girl get the psychological help she needs, you will never find happiness with her.
SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP!

Seconded

my Dear brother, that Lady, if u love her dont rush her, respect her feelings, you describe her as being distinguished, so why urge her for sex,? go ahead and marry her if you LOVE Her. sex is not a true Love neither is it a measure to show how much a lady loves you ok. it is well, may GOD gives you understanding

Its un-nigerian of u to betray her trust(as a foreigner)by attaching the clip.beg her and show her more love and care esp.when she has let loose of her hidden emotions

U've betrayed the trust she has with u, y did u have to put up the tape she personally sent to u ?
I'm really disappointed with this act of yours, if all u crave for most in this friendship is se.x then I 'll suggest u get it else where.

Pls just respect her decision of not wanting to have se now.

kitty kat: Since when did sex mean that a woman loves u?

Since buying a girl bb bold 5 and brazillian hair and carrying her to silverbird cinemas means a guy is caring and loves you.

-so if i say no to s.ex in my relationship,it means am a player?..21th century..and perhaps if i give him and thousands more my body it means i love them all?

[size=13pt]and bennyraz was MIA.. WTF[/size]

chidyhels: -so if i say no to s.ex in my relationship,it means am a player?..21th century..and perhaps if i give him and thousands more my body it means i love them all?

[size=13pt]then say no to gifts and don't ask the guy for money, clothes, hair, ice-cream, cigarette e.t.c[/size]

Well,
Putting the recording up here,was wrong,for whatever reason.
Next,
Kindly leave her alone if you don't love her or its se.x you just want.In the long run, if you hv se.x with her and dump her, you would make her feel horrible and worse considering her past.
If its just se.x look for someone else.