I'm a Nigerian man in his early 30's and I need help right now: I've got 2 girls in my life.

Meet Girl (A):

Nigerian Girl of 26yrs. Intelligent, quite caring, very good at cooking Nigerian dishes, very sexy looking (though not romantic), but also very stubborn - has very little respect for a guy. I've been on this girls's case for like nearly 2yrs now, pleading with her to date me and let's move on from there. The impression she always gave me was she liked me alot but had reservations because i look and talk like a player. She doesnt believe I could seriously tell her i'm single and expect her to believe me - her perception of me is an intelligent, good looking, hard working young man who doesnt have a problems - and those sort of men cant claim to be single.

Meet Girl (B)

Namibian Girl of 25yrs. Intelligent, extremely caring, very good at cooking Namibian dishes but happy to learn how to cook Nigerian dishes too, not as sexy looking as the Nigerian but extremely romantic, very respectful and always mindful of offending me. I got introduced to her about 2 months ago and we've been in touch since then. She percieves me to be her perfect match and is very keen to date me - all i need to do is ask.

I know some people are wondering where the problem lies - well, the problem is I was going to ask the Namibian girl out but decided to tell the Nigerian girl about it before moving on. I wasnt sure it was the best of decisions to tell her about it but i decided to let her know before she comes up with some accusations - as they normally do nowadays. Her reaction was swift and sleek! All of a sudden she's interested, she says she's always been interested but only wanted to be sure i was for real - now she is convinced i'm for real.
I would gladly date her if i had not met this Namibian, she is exceptionally different from the normal Nigerian girl, she's all i think of and its giving me a funny feeling of guilt when ever i remember the Nigerian one. On the flip side however, it would be really difficult to get my family to accept a foreigner as a potential wife, that is going to take alot of energy.

From your post you seem to have made your choice, so what more advice do you need. go with your heart and not your head.


By the way, why should there still be two girls in your life?

There are 2 girls in my life because i have not made a choice yet. The Namibian is where my heart is but my brain says she is a foreigner and the fight with family can be fierce. The nigerian is the one my brain is recommending but i'm not sure she will be anything close to what the Namibian would have been.

Its hard to choose without feeling guilty about hurting someone

So the girls are now wares you can decide and choose which one you need?

if you have made your decision, what advice do you need again.

@ Poster.

Go for the Namibian girl.

My reason is simply because she kept it straight and direct with you. She never hid her feeling and made u know that she wants you- that simply shows you how honest and plain her heart could be.

On the other hand, close the door of your heart on the 9ja chick. She is not straight and palin. And my guess is that she's got a quite messed up heart which has made to have acunning heart. Am sorry if i sound quite harsh, it's just that I can't seem to express myself milder. She's only considering "creeping" with you simply bcause she feels threatned about losing her "territory" which is you. This nulify whatever love claim she's professing now.

About your parents' accepting the Namibian, all I will say is that, if i were you, I'd go ahead with the foreigner as long as she's human and not an alien. Parents have a way of wanting to control our lives, but we should take our decisions and stand firmly on them. They will always come around someway.

[s]My mum is like that, but I guess she learnt her lessons with me[/s], and now she respects my decisions as long as am ready to face any consequences of my actions.

Good luck bro.

Hey,

If u'll follow my advice the Namibian is what you should consider provided she clears the ground from 'stormy waters' before you meet her family which you have not. She could even suprise you. Her family could be nicer than you think. You shouldn't be afraid. Beauty is not everything but what she has to share is the most important. Marry a woman who loves you a 100% not a woman who would make your life miserable if you find yourself wanting.

It is best to witness than to preempt what would happen because of her being a foreigner.

Don't waste time, NAMIBIA I CHOOSE.

Toniaslim how are u?

hi im sorry not to answer ur question. but i ahve 1 for u? are u online?

I'll tell you this one time. . . . . .

Once you switch on  to 'getting a wife mode', u follow your brain(85% of the time) and your heart (15%).

The reverse for getting a babe. 

just my 2 cents as usual 

Jairzinho:

I'll tell you this one time. . . . . .

Once you switch on to 'getting a wife mode', u follow your brain(85% of the time) and your heart (15%).

The reverse for getting a babe.

just my 2 cents as usual

Interesting. . . . . .

Oga o.

Why are u seeing wahala now and running after it?
From what u are saying - i would marry the Namibian girl sha, i wont even date her i would marry her straight.

But follow ur heart and ur common sense.

@adeboo. good evening ma'am. hope you are well? where have u been hiding? i was actually hoping sound mind like you get to see this and advice this brother.

boy o boy i would dump the nigerian lady yesterday and go namibia. there are many foreign nigerian women too.

but goodluck and still learn to follow your heart

pick anyone and send the other to me.
Thank u

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY GUYS STILL WASTE THEIR TIME OVER NIGERIAN CHICKS,

I WAS AT A GAS STATION DELY FEW WEEKS AGO TO GET A DRINK ACROSS THE STREET FROM A DEALERSHIP WHERE I WENT FOR A SERVICE INSPECTION ON MY CAYENNE; I SAW THIS NIGERIA GIRL PUMPING GAS, AND I GAVE HER A COMPLIMENT FOR HER OUTFIT, SHE SAID IM CUTE THOUGH, BUT I'M NOT GIVING U MY NUMBER CAUSE I DON'T DATE MEN WHO TAKE ONLY METRO, I JUST SMILE .
3 DAYS LATER, I SAW THE SAME GIRL AT A CARWASH, SHE IMMEDIATELY APPROACHED ME WITH A HUG, AND SAID: SHE'S BEEN DREAMING ABOUT ME EVER SINCE.

THEY R UGLY, RUDE, FAT AND STUCK-UP. I NEVER DATED ONE BEFORE CAUSE I SEE WHAT MY BUDDIES THAT DATE NIGERIAN GIRLZ GO THROUGH. ON 2 OCCASIONS, I HELP MY BUDDIES DUMP THEIR NIGERIA CHICK AND HOOK THEM UP WITH AN ETHIOPIAN AND UGANDAN GIRLS RESPECTIVELY.
DUDE, DUMP HER IN A HEART BEAT. GO WITH THE NAMIBIAN CHICK AND SHE WILL TAKE U TO THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN. AS FOR YOUR FAMILY?, TRUST ME, THEY WILL JOIN THE BAND WAGON ONCE THEY SEE HOW HAPPY U ARE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY GUYS STILL WASTE THEIR TIME OVER NIGERIAN CHICKS,

 I WAS AT A GAS STATION DELY FEW WEEKS AGO TO GET A DRINK ACROSS THE STREET FROM A DEALERSHIP WHERE I WENT FOR A SERVICE INSPECTION ON MY CAYENNE;  I SAW THIS NIGERIA GIRL PUMPING GAS, AND I GAVE HER A COMPLIMENT FOR HER OUTFIT,  SHE SAID IM CUTE THOUGH, BUT I'M NOT GIVING U MY NUMBER CAUSE I DON'T DATE MEN WHO TAKE ONLY METRO, I JUST SMILE .
  3 DAYS LATER, I SAW THE SAME GIRL AT A CARWASH, SHE IMMEDIATELY APPROACHED ME WITH A HUG, AND SAID: SHE'S BEEN DREAMING ABOUT ME EVER SINCE.

                  THEY R UGLY, RUDE, FAT AND STUCK-UP. I NEVER DATED ONE BEFORE CAUSE I SEE WHAT MY BUDDIES THAT DATE NIGERIAN GIRLZ GO THROUGH. ON 2 OCCASIONS, I HELP MY BUDDIES DUMP THEIR NIGERIA CHICK AND HOOK THEM UP WITH AN ETHIOPIAN AND UGANDAN GIRLS RESPECTIVELY.
                DUDE, DUMP HER IN A HEART BEAT. GO WITH THE NAMIBIAN CHICK AND SHE WILL TAKE U TO THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN. AS FOR YOUR FAMILY?, TRUST ME, THEY WILL JOIN THE BAND WAGON ONCE THEY SEE  HOW HAPPY U ARE.

o boy u dey enjoy ooooooooooo, only u get 9ja and namibian chik,,,,give me 1 na
any way, me i 4 take the namibian chick,d 9ja chik no know her bloodgroup.
use ur head oo, u can always talk 2 ur family 2 accept her,afterall its ur happiness in the relationship/marriage that matters

@SOPRANO

because you happened to met a mental one does not give you the right to generalise. If you don't want to associate yourself with naija chicks then it's you choice.

I wonder what you're doing on nairaland by the way. . . . . there a lot of 'Naija chicks' here you know.

Its not a sin to be entirely closed minded but please keep it to yourself and your buddies

@ NAJA HAJE

Closed Minded? You are a lost cause, I was simply expressing my opinion based on multiple experiences. I'm not generalizing any one based on nationality. I'm pretty sure you know what I'm saying is true,
Come to think of it, U R IN THE UK, THE NGR CHICKS IN UK R WORSE, THEY GO OUT WITH 419 MISCREANTS AND COMPLAIN WHEN THE DUDE GET LOCKED-UP IN JAIL. HOW DO I KNOW?, I come to LonDon at least 5 times annually. THEY GIVE UP 4 A PAIR OF TIMBERLAND, all you've got to do is take them to OXFORD STREET FOR SHOPPING and THE REST IS HISTORY , ALL in ALL, THERE R SOME GOOD ONES, BUT THE REST?
PLS FILL IN THE GAP -NAJ

At 30 you have to come to nairaland to ask us to make a choice for you ?
How can we do that? Do we know these girls?

SOPRANO:

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY GUYS STILL WASTE THEIR TIME OVER NIGERIAN CHICKS,

I WAS AT A GAS STATION DELY FEW WEEKS AGO TO GET A DRINK ACROSS THE STREET FROM A DEALERSHIP WHERE I WENT FOR A SERVICE INSPECTION ON MY CAYENNE; I SAW THIS NIGERIA GIRL PUMPING GAS, AND I GAVE HER A COMPLIMENT FOR HER OUTFIT, SHE SAID IM CUTE THOUGH, BUT I'M NOT GIVING You MY NUMBER CAUSE I DON'T DATE MEN WHO TAKE ONLY METRO, I JUST SMILE .
3 DAYS LATER, I SAW THE SAME GIRL AT A CARWASH, SHE IMMEDIATELY APPROACHED ME WITH A HUG, AND SAID: SHE'S BEEN DREAMING ABOUT ME EVER SINCE.

THEY R UGLY, RUDE, FAT AND STUCK-UP. I NEVER DATED ONE BEFORE CAUSE I SEE WHAT MY BUDDIES THAT DATE NIGERIAN GIRLZ GO THROUGH. ON 2 OCCASIONS, I HELP MY BUDDIES DUMP THEIR NIGERIA CHICK AND HOOK THEM UP WITH AN ETHIOPIAN AND UGANDAN GIRLS RESPECTIVELY.
DUDE, DUMP HER IN A HEART BEAT. GO WITH THE NAMIBIAN CHICK AND SHE WILL TAKE You TO THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN. AS FOR YOUR FAMILY?, TRUST ME, THEY WILL JOIN THE BAND WAGON ONCE THEY SEE HOW HAPPY You ARE.

you driving CAYENNE? Men who drive PORSCHE CAYENNE don't nag about, also those who can lease it don't abuse women cause the pleasure in that ride give life another joy of living.
stop all these hatred on my naija queen if they bounce you for your inability to be a man or lack of sexual satisfaction it's your fault.

I don't have one of them but they still make my day for just seeing them.


@poster
you choose namibia girl?
I'll attend your funeral.

@ OZIOMATV

Can READ AT ALL? YOU SHOULD ASK FOR YOUR TUITION RE-EMBURSEMENT.

LACK OF MANHOOD?, THEY CAN'T WITHSTAND MY POUNDING, EVEN YOUR SIS. HAVE YOU EVER SEE A WOMAN'S NUDITY IN LIFE? I DOUBT IT, ( RYAN SEACREST WANTS YOU) .
YOU R THE REASON WHY MEN SHOULD USE CONDOM BEFORE SEX, SO NUTCAKE LIKE U DON'T ROAM THE STREET.
THEY R TOO UGLY AND BORING FOR ME, AND WHY WOULD I WASTE MY TIME ON THAT. ( COMPARE TO ETHIOPIAN BEAUTY)
I DON'T NEED A CAYENNE TO GET A GIRL, THE BEAUTIFUL ONES I MEAN,
GET CIVILIZED, I MIGHT HOOK U UP WITH 1 OR 2,

Go ahead with your man prostitute am OK with my girl and if I may have a second thought it's gonna be my original black ass niaja 4ever chick not a cheap hungry ethiopean harlot who get hooked with any looser or crack addict that happen to come on her way. If you can fit in the game come challenge me and insert your picks not a dream girl that will never turn on to you even when you become bill gate's next of kin.


I've wasted my humble time to talk to an Idiot.

SOPRANO:

@ NAJA HAJE

Closed Minded? You are a lost cause, I was simply expressing my opinion based on multiple experiences. I'm not generalizing any one based on nationality. I'm pretty sure you know what I'm saying is true,
Come to think of it, You R IN THE UK, THE NGR CHICKS IN UK R WORSE, THEY GO OUT WITH 419 MISCREANTS AND COMPLAIN WHEN THE DUDE GET LOCKED-UP IN JAIL. HOW DO I KNOW?, I come to LonDon at least 5 times annually. THEY GIVE UP 4 A PAIR OF TIMBERLAND, all you've got to do is take them to OXFORD STREET FOR SHOPPING and THE REST IS HISTORY , ALL in ALL, THERE R SOME GOOD ONES, BUT THE REST?
PLS FILL IN THE GAP -NAJ

In my post i didn't insult you in any way so that didn't give you the right to do that to me.

From the way you have just expressed yourself it clearly shows why you are having such a huge problem with Naija Chicks.

Without even asking you where you go when you're in the UK . . . . . I ALREADY KNOW. Its such a shame that the babes you expereinced were the peckham and brixton chicks.

Well you know the UK is quite big but why should I be telling you . . . . . your type of people will neva dare cross the border into civilisation.

I have neva come in contact with the kind of gyals your talking about. That actually sounds like the your lady friends in the Bronx.

Well Like I said. . . . . you are close minded. It's an adjective so deal with it.

BABES

TAKE IT EASY ON HIM SHA

@ OZIOMA Radio

Well, how can a Human like me trade words with a " DAFT"?, Thanks to INTERPOL nabbing your fellow 419/ Yahoozee gangs, I don't have to worry about you, Its a non-starter.

@ NAJA BAGEL

Your Home Work: Google " POTOMAC, MD " and you'll know I don't need to answer your questions concerning ur "UK" classism. get real, most people in NGR have better standard of living than you do. Don't worry, Gordon Brown will expell you prety soon, ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.

@SOPRANO
  you claimed soprano when you can't sing your ghetto national anthem.
  419 is a game,   we're not much in this world that knows how to play it. It's for smart and extra intelligent people from the igbo tribe.
  not for LILY-LIVERED graduates who for their inability to reason beyond an average level tend to stick on a McDonald fast food salary or even hook on welfare to get life going while waiting for a better tomorrow.

  you criticizes nigerian girls because you can't stand their demands, they're made for men like us who has what it takes to maintain an expensive lady, (money dude).
  you can go ahead with your Kenya,ethiopean or Eritrea girls  cause a loaf of bread can make them pack full for you then you have that dirty p**sy all your life,  mugu,

       Can't you hear yourself talking?  wait a new govt. is comming up then there will be a welfare cut.

Peeps why una dey diss una selves over small thing now? abeg evrybody get their own point of view, lets be matured, aight!

SOPRANO, I see you wish to hide yourself here, get back to Jayon's thread and let's continue the riot you started. . . .already missing your self-degrading replies. . .get back jo

@ OZIOMA RADIO

  WELL, YOU JUST PROVE MY POINT: 419 R INTELIGENT? , STEALING FROM THE INNOCENT HAS NO IOTA OF SAVYNESS IN ANY WAY.  
 TRY AND GO TO HAVARD, GET A LAW DEGREE, THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE GUTS TO TALK.
BUT COME TO THINK OF IT, YOU A 419 PERPETRATOR AND I'M A DEFENSE ATTORNEY, YOU JUST MIGHT NEED MY SERVICES ONCE YOU R LOCKED UP,
 BUT UNFORTUNATELY I DON'T DEFEND MISCREATS YOU STEAL FROM THE INNOCENT,
SO PISS-OFF AND GET A LIFE IN JAIL,

@SOPRANO
If actually you're in HARVARD the first thing they should have teaches you is the spelling of HARVARD not HAVARD.
Now I've known your level good bye
will not respond to you again.

dude, u really dont expect to get/use the advice u get here?,

at the end of the day.,, u gotta do what u gotta do

someother poster said something about when u are switching to GET A WIFE MODE,,
follow the dudes advice, there is a lot of diff btw a g/f n a wife

finally u gotta be really strong if u want to go 4 the namibian,
cos of this cultural diff thingy

oziomatv:

@SOPRANO
If actually you're in HARVARD the first thing they should have teaches you is the spelling of HARVARD not HAVARD.
Now I've known your level good bye
will not respond to you again.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Inn-a-resting!

SOPRANO:

@ NAJA BAGEL

Your Home Work: Google " POTOMAC, MD " and you'll know I don't need to answer your questions concerning your "UK" classism. get real, most people in NGR have better standard of living than you do. Don't worry, Gordon Brown will expell you prety soon, ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.

I could tell you to google HOLLYWOOD but it doesn't automatically mean I live there. You're such an idiot!!! Inferiority complex is not a bad thing, all you need to do is go for therapy.

I have neva come across such a pathetic, incompetent, wretched and defunct idiot like you, in all my life.

You're talking about Gordon Brown. . . . . . . LMFAO. . . . . . have you even considered your own economy lately?

It's such a pity; You don't have the sense that God (in all his infinite mercy) gave a GOAT.

My Advise: Go back to School and learn to be articulate and socially intelligent. Gratefully Harvard won't accept you. You will instantly diminish the impeccable reputation they have struggled to build thru the years.

Castrated fool!!!