carefreewannabe: Crazy Man, I am wondering what you would do if YOUR WIFE, God forbid, was r.aped and what kind of a father you would be for this child.

In as much as I don't pray for such evil to befall me....but if it does, I would accept what happened and live with the consequence.

I would never be a party to murder.

CrazyMan:
In as much as I don't pray for such evil to befall me....but if it does, I would accept what happened and live with the consequence.

I would never be a party to murder.

It's your human right to have an opinion.

Have you ever visited an orphanage?

CrazyMan:
In as much as I don't pray for such evil to befall me....but if it does, I would accept what happened and live with the consequence.

I would never be a party to murder.

It's your human right to have an opinion.

Have you ever visited an orphanage?

carefreewannabe: It's your human right to have an opinion.

Have you ever visited an orphanage?

I have...and mind you most of them are doing fine.

The was one we visited on valentine's day last year...(Faith orphanage) my self and some of my friends...one of the girls (a teenager) there told us that she wrote jamb, I was very happy for her.

And in case you don't know...they're not all bad...most of them are crafty, they can sew, some plait hairs weavons and all that....

Here in Anambra state, the governor encourages residents of the state to visit orphanages more often....and many people do that...so they're not as malnourished and hungry as you seem to think.

I'm sure that if you hold one of the babies there in your arms for up to 10 minutes you'll kill any one that supports abortion.

They're doing fine because they can sew and do hair. You serious?
Why do you assume I haven't visited an orphanage? And why do you assume I haven't had a baby in my arms? I did have and still I hate nobody.

If you were well informed you would know that MANY people who grow up in orphanages suffer from mental diseases in later life! It's because an orphanage CAN NEVER replace the love of a parent and it's because these children lack a lot. An orphanage can satisfy their basic needs but they will always ask themselves, why is it that my parents didn't want me? This question will have a bad influence on their self-esteem. So don't tell me adoption is such a great option.

.

carefreewannabe: They're doing fine because they can sew and do hair. You serious?
Why do you assume I haven't visited an orphanage? And why do you assume I haven't had a baby in my arms? I did have and still I hate nobody.

What's wrong with you, and why do you seem to have this hatred for orphanage kids....do you expect them to be driving in jeeps?

In case you don't know...most kids who have parental up bringing are worse than them.

Let's me educate you a bit cos I'm perceiving your seeming ignorance...children who grow up in orphanage homes are more disciplined that most brats that grow under a roof...with their folks

In an orphanage home, you're disciplined for every wrong action you make...most of them have very little opportunities in life, therefore they make good use of the few that comes across their way.

Do you know how many fools that eat their parents food till they above 30years...no hope, no future...stop sounding irritating...orphanage children aren't as bad as you think they are.

Truth is every child destiny lies in his hands...

carefreewannabe: If you were well informed you would know that MANY people who grow up in orphanages suffer from mental diseases in later life! It's because an orphanage CAN NEVER replace the love of a parent and it's because these children lack a lot.

Wrong...I've seen parents whose children live in abject poverty they have all kinds of diseases...infact their lives are worse than those kids in the orphanage homes.

carefreewannabe: An orphanage can satisfy their basic needs but they will always ask themselves, why is it that my parents didn't want me? This question will have a bad influence on their self-esteem. So don't tell me adoption is such a great option.

Wrong...how many average parents in Nigeria can you say love their children?

Go to the crime section here on Nairaland and see what parents do to their children....I came across a story on paper where a mother flogged her child to death because of N200...would you call that love?

There are good parents and there are bad parents....so stop making sound as if all parents are good and lovely...there are some that are worse than demons.

Lol its funny that the main people saying that abortion is wrong in rape situations are men, who by the way wont ever have to go through it.

I am pro-choice, I believe every woman has the right to abortion especially when rape is involved. Rape is a whole different ball game. Its going to be tormenting to allow a rape child grow inside of you. Okay even if the woman decides to give the child up for adoption, what happens when in the future the child starts lookin his/her birth parents? Being the curious humans that we are, we would stop at nothing to get a chance at meeting our birth parents. When the child finds his/her birth mother, what do you think the birth mother would go through? The healed wound of being raped would probably re-open. When the child finds out he/she was a rape child, psychological problems will start to take a toll on the child.

All im saying is having a rape child is very risky. But at the end of the day, only the woman that was raped can make the choice.

I'm still not supporting abortion, all i'm saying is that a woman should be allowed to make her choice concerning what will grow in her OWN womb.

Flashaldrin: I'm still not supporting abortion, all i'm saying is that a woman should be allowed to make her choice concerning what will grow in her OWN womb.

And that's the point we have been trying to make

Keep trying

Flashaldrin: I'm still not supporting abortion, all i'm saying is that a woman should be allowed to make her choice concerning what will grow in her OWN womb.

Rubbish....how can you tell someone in trauma and agony (no thanks to the r.apist) to make her choice...what makes you think she would decide properly...

uj_sizzle: Inasmuch as I'm against the whole idea of abortion, honestly if i were molested and pregnant my one and only thought will be to get rid of that child.

R.ape does a lot to the victims psych, having a constant reminder of the horror could slowly kill you in the absence of God's grace. I can't promise to love that child as i should, and I'll feel worse hating it for a crime it didn't commit than killing it in the first place.

and U use "it" to describe the child.

uj_sizzle: @CrazyMan

The trust is you can NEVER understand what it's like to be molested. You're a man, u couldn't possibly get the feeling. A woman who has never been raped can relate better with this than you would as a man cause r.ape is every womans nightmare.

the trauma for a man who is raped is actually worse than that of a woman. note i mean when the man is raped by a fellow man,

monex:

the trauma for a man who is raped is actually worse than that of a woman. note i mean when the man is raped by a fellow man,

LOL forgive me for laughing at this post. I know it is a serious issue, just that I can't begin to imagine how a man would feel after being raped by a fellow man.

monex:

and U use "it" to describe the child.

And what would be the appropriate pronoun?

uj_sizzle: You're simply creating a scenario where the victim views abortion as murder. What if she doesn't? Maybe she sees it as a means to get rid of the 'visual' reminder of her misfortune.
Abortion only becomes an added issue for people who have morality issues probably brought about by religion, not everyone.

It is true that getting rid of the child does not in any way change what she's been through, but it does at least relieve her of the constant reminder. Going through therapy helps one come to terms with the problem, but sometimes staring the product of said event in the face daily or having to spend 9mths of ur life carrying a child you never wanted esp one gotten by such brutal means makes it difficult to move on.

i was waiting for someone to sy this. on point. it really is a question of morality. if the victim sees abortion as murder then she would be worse off aborting the child. but if she doesn't care (a lot of peeps do abortion for the most flimsy of reasons) then the rape demon would be less potent as there would be no reminder.

personally, I am pro-life and would have zero-tolerance for abortion. but i am a neither a lady nor a doctor so it might never be my decision to make. I would never support my wife in such a decision sha.

Honestly I don't know since I am not in the situation and Lord willing would never be.

I am anti-abortion and also sympathetic to the rights of the abused.
Carrying a child is not easy. Imagine having to go through the complications
that comes with pregnancy AND knowing you are carrying the seed of someone
who violated you in the worst way.

It's like being violated all over again...

At the same time I have heard of (in fact I know someone who is the product of) women who have been r@ped, carried the child and either gave them away for adoption or raised them stating that it was God's will that the child was conceived.

Again who knows, I won't say for sure nor will I judge.

linda_1: I would not get an abortion. It would give it up for adoption or keep the baby depend on what my life circumstances were at the time. If, for whatever reason, I decided to keep the baby, I would tell it later in life that I didn't know who it's father was. Yes, I would lie. Why put the kid through the awful details?

If I decided to give it up for adoption, Parents who adopt are not going to care if the baby was a product of rape, they would just be happy to have a child and will love it like nothing else.

Very interesting.

I think all women should make the choice for themselves. No one really knows what they would do until they are in such a situation. However, if a Naija lady is thinking about an abortion, then she is putting her life at risk. If she cannot afford to have it done at a safe medical facility or a neighboring country, then it is better to have the child and give it up for adoption.

monex:

and U use "it" to describe the child.

A lot of people call their unborn babies 'it' when the sex is unknown; doesn't make it any less human.

uj_sizzle:
A lot of people call their unborn babies 'it' when the sex is unknown; doesn't make it any less human.

Ask him what the appropriate pronoun should be

*Kails*:
Honestly I don't know since I am not in the situation and Lord willing would never be.

I am anti-abortion and also sympathetic to the rights of the abused.
Carrying a child is not easy. Imagine having to go through the complications
that comes with pregnancy AND knowing you are carrying the seed of someone
who violated you in the worst way.

It's like being violated all over again...

At the same time I have heard of (in fact I know someone who is the product of) women who have been r@ped, carried the child and either gave them away for adoption or raised them stating that it was God's will that the child was conceived.

Again who knows, I won't say for sure nor will I judge.

yea I am anti-abortion too, I think is not the baby fault and if I was in that situation I would not do abortion. I know 2 girls that was raped and they didn't do abortion. One of these girl is my sister in law, she was raped by his own father at the age of 13, she was very young and in school! Her mom and sisters help her without knowing that she was pregnant by his father they all believe it was someone else, it was a big shock when she open her mouth to tell the true. Now she's 26 and his son 12... she loves his son

I don't know how can someone hate a baby that she carried inside for 9 months, even if I was raped I would love my baby.

linda_1:

yea I am anti-abortion too, I think is not the baby fault and if I was in that situation I would not do abortion. I know 2 girls that was raped and they didn't do abortion. One of these girl is my sister in law, she was raped by his own father at the age of 13, she was very young and in school! Her mom and sisters help her without knowing that she was pregnant by his father they all believe it was someone else, it was a big shock when she open her mouth to tell the true. Now she's 26 and his son 12... she loves his son

I don't know how can someone hate a baby that she carried inside for 9 months, even if I was raped I would love my baby.

You have quite a testimony there sis.
I only know of a few who admitted to being children of r@pe victims and their aggressors.
One's mom was r@ped because she was bi-s3xual and behaved like her male companions. She was attacked for that and ended up conceiving a close friend of mine who was a troubled girl. I mean this girl was WILD! Fighting, bullying, stealing, etc. Her mom loved her to death and still does, but there is still that void in her that she has to fill even as a 26 year old, who herself is now a mother.

Her father knows of her because he was a friend of her mother's back in the 80s and live hundreds of miles away from them. His disgusting actions is the reason for her turmoil and emotional suffering which got worse when another friend of ours told other people at our school what happened. Rightfully so she beat the breaks out of that girl! But it was hard for her.

So although you or even I may consider bringing the child or raising them - again I won't swear I would. - we have to understand there is a lot of baggage we would have to deal with if not that the child may look like the person who did that to us, the child may grow up with emotional and self esteem issues.

It's hard and complicated in all directions. You would have to be strong to get through it.

*Kails*:


You have quite a testimony there sis.
I only know of a few who admitted to being children of r@pe victims and their aggressors.
One's mom was r@ped because she was bi-s3xual and behaved like her male companions. She was attacked for that and ended up conceiving a close friend of mine who was a troubled girl. I mean this girl was WILD! Fighting, bullying, stealing, etc. Her mom loved her to death and still does, but there is still that void in her that she has to fill even as a 26 year old, who herself is now a mother.

Her father knows of her because he was a friend of her mother's back in the 80s and live hundreds of miles away from them. His disgusting actions is the reason for her turmoil and emotional suffering which got worse when another friend of ours told other people at our school what happened. Rightfully so she beat the breaks out of that girl! But it was hard for her.

So although you or even I may consider bringing the child or raising them - again I won't swear I would. - we have to understand there is a lot of baggage we would have to deal with if not that the child may look like the person who did that to us, the child may grow up with emotional and self esteem issues.

It's hard and complicated in all directions. You would have to be strong to get through it.

LOL @ the trouble girl
I agree and I know what you tryin to explain
Everyone see things different and I respect that but in my opinion...abortion is not the right thing.

linda_1:

LOL @ the trouble girl
I agree and I know what you tryin to explain
Everyone see things different and I respect that but in my opinion...abortion is not the right thing.

You're priceless dearie. There are few of ur kind.

linda_1:

LOL @ the trouble girl
I agree and I know what you tryin to explain
Everyone see things different and I respect that but in my opinion...abortion is not the right thing.

Absolutely! I agree.
As I said before I am definitely pro-life.
I was just bringing up an example close to home of the effects r@pe on people
psychologically. It's hard, it's unfortunate BUT it's not impossible to get through and eventually rise above it.

linda_1:

yea I am anti-abortion too, I think is not the baby fault and if I was in that situation I would not do abortion. I know 2 girls that was raped and they didn't do abortion. One of these girl is my sister in law, she was raped by his own father at the age of 13, she was very young and in school! Her mom and sisters help her without knowing that she was pregnant by his father they all believe it was someone else, it was a big shock when she open her mouth to tell the true. Now she's 26 and his son 12... she loves his son

I don't know how can someone hate a baby that she carried inside for 9 months, even if I was raped I would love my baby.

I agree totally! Its a trauma being raped, but another trauma having an abortion, how many die from doing just that, or become infertile? It IS a hard situation, but me? I just cant feel right about murdering that child because his or her father acted in stupidity. things happen for a reason which may not be apparant at that time. Remember This is biologically still your child too. the birth can change things drastically too... sometimes the love comes then

oyinbogirl:

I agree totally! Its a trauma being raped, but another trauma having an abortion, how many die from doing just that, or become infertile? It IS a hard situation, but me? I just cant feel right about murdering that child because his or her father acted in stupidity. things happen for a reason which may not be apparant at that time. Remember This is biologically still your child too. the birth can change things drastically too... sometimes the love comes then

agree
you're right is not the baby's fault, Imagine having abortion and after become infertile?? I would go crazy and guilty for rest of my life!

linda_1:

agree
you're right is not the baby's fault, Imagine having abortion and after become infertile?? I would go crazy and guilty for rest of my life!

Many have ...and probably will continue to do so (pay the ultimate price) Most of us want kids at one point in time. I like the way you think, smart girl and yes i just couldnt live with that kind of crushing guilt. Imagine meeting Mr right and he wants marriage and kids - another loss there

oyinbogirl:


Many have ...and probably will continue to do so (pay the ultimate price) Most of us want kids at one point in time. I like the way you think, smart girl and yes i just couldnt live with that kind of crushing guilt. Imagine meeting Mr right and he wants marriage and kids - another loss there

Well you can always adopt

oyinbogirl:


Many have ...and probably will continue to do so (pay the ultimate price) Most of us want kids at one point in time. I like the way you think, smart girl and yes i just couldnt live with that kind of crushing guilt. Imagine meeting Mr right and he wants marriage and kids - another loss there

That's right, no aborti,on
where are u from?