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Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. - Religion - Nairaland

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Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by r231(m): 1:43pm On Dec 18, 2012
10. "We must pray and fast"
In Yoruba, "e kun fun aduaa". Commonly used in times of tribulation such as Police/EFCC cases, looking for a husband or applying for a UK or US visa.

9. "This is my year of breakthrough"
A new year's eve special. The ready-made lazy man's annual prayer whether or not he has put in an honest day's work the year before, and a popular headline at most money spinning end-of-year religious crusades.

8. "I thank God for your life"
Usually an acknowledgement or appreciation of a benefactor but you scratch your head to find a real meaning to this one. People just drop it anyhow, eg. "I saw Pastor Kososhi drive past me in his Hummer yesterday on Allen Avenue", Reply: "Oh, I thank God for his life".

7. "...but he's a Man of God"
As in the old 'over-the-hill' Brother Jero Pastor who doesn't know how to toast women but secretly lusts after your wife/girlfriend in church. These are the "close your eyes, let us pray" guys who's always around to help or advice, waiting and hoping to take advantage of any misfortune to console his way into your woman's life.

6. "J.E.S.U.S."
Now very popular at Christian weddings across Nigeria as the newly-wed couple cut their cake. This has taken over from the evergreen "3,2,1...". Speaking of weddings, some wack MCs now blackmail the wedding guests by saying "If you want to live to see the new year, let me see your hands up", thus punishing them for not laughing at his dry jokes. Fear has become our God.

5. "I bind you..." (AKA "Holy Ghost Fire! Fire!! Fire!!!"wink
As in, put a curse on you, or threaten you with the wrath of God if you're deemed to be disturbing them for whatever reason. For example, against jobless guys who are proposing marriage, or the Landlord who has come to collect the rent after 8 months!

4. "The Devil is a liar!"
Often used right after surviving a ghastly auto accident, general misfortune, tripping over your children's toys or mistakenly dripping peppersoup on your favourite pink T.M. Lewin shirt!

3. "In the name of Jesus..."
Also abbreviated on Facebook as "IJN" or for maximum effect "in the MIGHTY name of Jesus!". Favourite end-of-sentence soundbite for most Prosperity Pastors on television.

2. "To God be the glory"
The last line of 99.9% of Nollywood films, and fast rising closing remarks at government / corporate seminars (usually just before they share the 'gbemu' in Ghana-must-go bags)

1. "It is well"
Self explanatory enough. Classic soundbite even if it is VERY OBVIOUS that it is not well!

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind" - Robert Nesta Marley.

19 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by saintvc(m): 3:55pm On Dec 18, 2012
9ce observation
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by Freiburger(m): 8:59pm On Dec 18, 2012
What about blood of Jesus when they are scared? grin

4 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by larrymoore(m): 11:43pm On Dec 18, 2012
Pray! Pray!! Pray!!!
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by tpia1: 11:45pm On Dec 18, 2012
Mockers, hmm.

1 Like

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by 80million1: 11:51pm On Dec 18, 2012
*speechless*

See, i don't know ur motive for writing this but whatever it is, it doesn't change my status.

I am PROUD to be a christian and i boldly love Jesus Christ,so u can say what u wana say.

Lemme add one more for u...
LET SOMEBODY SHOUT HALLELUYAH!

I speak for every one proud to be a Christian.

Signed-
#80million and friends.

72 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by patostation(m): 11:52pm On Dec 18, 2012
"Blood of Jesus", an obvious exclamation when danger looms.

2 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by babyosisi(f): 11:52pm On Dec 18, 2012
Die !
Die!!
Die!!!
fall down and die ! grin

1 Like

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by aniffy4eva(m): 11:53pm On Dec 18, 2012
r231: 10. "We must pray and fast"
In Yoruba, "e kun fun aduaa". Commonly used in times of tribulation such as Police/EFCC cases, looking for a husband or applying for a UK or US visa.
CAC Mode.. tongue
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by babyosisi(f): 11:54pm On Dec 18, 2012
Inshallah

( meanwhile the Mallam money changer is short changing your Naira notes)

8 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by Nobody: 11:54pm On Dec 18, 2012
Going Round 'Saturating' things in the 'Blood of Jesus' is another very disgusting soundbite...

WTF does that even mean? Are you imagining yourself covered in imaginary blood?

So gross...
 
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by NRIPRIEST(m): 11:58pm On Dec 18, 2012
I see Nigerian people! Buncha weirdos... grin
"Fire burn them"
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by hydiciousb: 12:09am On Dec 19, 2012
grin grin grin grin

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by konfessor(m): 12:10am On Dec 19, 2012
@op: someone must have dropped you on your head when u were a baby. you probably have a mushed up brain.
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by claremont(m): 12:13am On Dec 19, 2012
'God forbid bad thing' grin

1 Like

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by babyosisi(f): 12:15am On Dec 19, 2012
To God who made me


Everything after that is a lie

4 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by mysticgal(f): 12:25am On Dec 19, 2012
now what do you feel like,men this is pure poo and it made front page,let it make it known to u,u never jam.even in the well it is well.Peace

1 Like

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by cold(m): 12:32am On Dec 19, 2012
Die by fire!Holy Ghost fire!Back to sender!By fire by force!It is not my portion! Who's portion is it

1 Like

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by tpia1: 12:37am On Dec 19, 2012
some parents, smh.

what is it about nl that tends to make people expose their utter s.tupidity?
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by r231(m): 12:38am On Dec 19, 2012
konfessor: @op: someone must have dropped you on your head when u were a baby. you probably have a mushed up brain.

a lot of people ask me how i look so young with my age and my answer is life is too short.....

learn to have fun my friend ......its just a joke

have a laugh, i believed in God just like everybody else....now who is the fool with no sense of humor undecided undecided

7 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by tpia1: 12:39am On Dec 19, 2012
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by babyosisi(f): 12:39am On Dec 19, 2012
Die die die
Die by fire by thunder grin
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by r231(m): 12:41am On Dec 19, 2012

1 Like

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by tpia1: 12:42am On Dec 19, 2012
do any of your donors listed here:

http://www.nairaland.com/1097537/tehn-one-year-old-hooray

use any of those phrases?

maybe you need to shop for atheist or muslim benefactors only.
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by SisiKill1: 12:42am On Dec 19, 2012
My all time favorites. ...

1) I decreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2) I can never be pooooooooooooooooooor [insert Sheeple cries of joy here]

3) Everyone under the sound of my voice

4 ) Do you know who I am?

5) If you doubt me you will die!

6) The Devil saw me and ran away

. . . .Hallaluya!!!!!
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by tpia1: 12:42am On Dec 19, 2012
r231:

and your point is undecided undecided undecided undecided

it was for your igbo fans on the thread.
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by Nobody: 12:43am On Dec 19, 2012
Sisi_Kill: My all time favorites. ...

1) I decreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2) I can never be pooooooooooooooooooor [insert Sheeple cries of joy here]

3) Everyone under the sound of my voice

4 ) Do you know who I am?

5) If you doubt me you will die!

6) The Devil saw me and ran away

. . . .Hallaluya!!!!!



Rotflmaoooooo grin
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by r231(m): 12:44am On Dec 19, 2012
tpia1:

it was for your igbo fans on the thread.

DO YOU EVER MAKE SENSE undecided undecided undecided

What the HELL are you talking about undecided

5 Likes

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by tpia1: 12:44am On Dec 19, 2012
as per topic


r231: Dear Nairalanders,

First we will like to appreciate all of you and our Stakeholders who have been supporting our numerous calls to help those in need, we are ever grateful and pray that the good Lord will always raise help for you in your time of need.




bolded can be added to the list

1 Like

Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by Nobody: 12:44am On Dec 19, 2012
1. It is by the grace of God

2. What God has joint, let no young puzzle put asunder grin
Re: Top Ten Nigerian Religious Soundbites: The Countdown. by tpia1: 12:45am On Dec 19, 2012
r231:

DO YOU EVER MAKE SENSE undecided undecided undecided

What the HELL are you talking about undecided

you were forced to open this thread?

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