We all know that Nigerian parents are one of a kind,

So we (moi && Shollypopz) have decided to make a thread on the funny things Nigerian parents say.


Feel free to add your own,

Let's have a laugh



I'll start it off.

"Soooo you're giving me dirty looks ehn?!"

(Remote right in front of her)
*Calls you from downstairs*
" E wo omo yi (you this girl), come here and get me the remote, I want to change the channel"

*After screaming your name thrice*
"How many times have I called you?"

"Go and get my belt!!"

"Ehn?.. And so what?!"

"Close the lights, stop wasting electricity"

*Sends you to find something, which you can't find*
"If I find that purse ehn, this house will not contain me and you"

Me: Mum where should I put your purse?
Mum: on my head naw.

"Are we h-age mates?"

"Am I your mate?"

Me: mum you know Will Smith right?
Mum: what is that?!

"I didn't kill my mother, so you will not kill me"

*Looks at report*
"You got a B... What about the people that got an A, do they have two heads?"

*Child crying*
Parent: Why are you crying? Did anyone beat you? Oya my fren HOLD YOUR MOUTH!

"Eh heh... So you have boyfriend! Shey that's why you're talking back to me"
*gets slippers*

"I'm taking, you're talking, how many talkers?!"

"Your head is not correct!"

“If you don’t kneel down there, I’ll show you pepper”

Instead of cursing the child as being unfortunate, Nigerian (esp Yorubas) parent will say :

"What sort of a fortunate child is this"

lwkmd...abiL is officially crazy!!...lmao


so on point..my mom does most of those things you listed up there even "am i your H-age mate?"...lmao


*following with full vigour*

one day(i was still a kid) i was playing footie downstairs, my mom kept screaming

"lala, lala, lala, nwa nkea, inaro anu ife(this child you don't hear words), come up fast"

i thought she has broken her foot bone or something so i flew(i swear i ran like i was flying) upstairs only to meet a

"HELP ME ZIP MY DRESS" (the zip was at the back of her dress) words from her

i was like WTF!!...i stood there staring at her like i was about to explode like a bomb.i swear if 'twas a stranger, i'd have lynched her.lol


if i start writting stuffs like this, NL won't contain it

*following*

Irony at its zenith...

Come and carry me nah.

Have you died before?

Unless you're well out of earshot, your name better not be called thrice. Won ki n pe le meta... _pe.

Aunt: Sholly!! Sholly!!

*I rush down*

Aunt: Go bring my purse

Sholly: hands over purse with left hand

Aunt: Ehn!! Your left hand!! You are giving something with ur left hand, sooner or later you'll start slapping me. C'mon use your right hand!!

I'm like WTF?!

sh*t or stuff

jay bee: sh*t or stuff

stuff ofcourse but you know abiL love to use vulgar words to pass her message across.lol.

I remember when i was still a kid, my dad came to school during our recess to pick me up so that we'll go home together.he couldn't wait for the school to close cos he was going somewhere important.on reaching my class, he saw me doing somersault.he was pissed cos he warned earlier on not to partake in stunts cos of the risks involved.so he walked over to where i was and gave me a deafening slap(first time he ever slapped me).lol.i was still crying when he held me by the ear and said

"YOU NO DEY HEAR WORD NWA A(this child), WHAT IF I GIVE YOU ANOTHER ITOWAI(slap) FOR YOUR DISOBEDIENCE"...lmao @itowai...hahahahahaaha.my ribs o

every person started laughing and i joined them too including my dad.lol..
I remember this stuffs with nostalgia.i wouldn't even think twice if i'm granted a wish to re-live my childhood memories for just a day.

aaawww....lala ur stories are fun to read, I want more! Btw, blame me for d title not abiL.

There was a time I was always wearing big earrings and my Dad told me that the only people that wore big earrings are those looking for husband, can u imagine??

jay bee: sh*t or stuff

Ogbeni, contribute something jor!

ItsModella: Dad: Ehn, did you just talk back to your mother? just kneel down there, are you mad? you're mad. By the time I finish with you ehn, when we say run, you'll fly, when we say jump, you'll swim...id!ot.

Lmaoo at the bolded.



Lalaosky I'm loving your posts.

abiL:


Ogbeni, contribute something jor!

Last born and only boy meant they lived by ma rules

Lol, I want to meet ItsModella's father...that guy is funny!! ARE u mad?? you are mad!! ROFLMAO!!

jay bee:
Last born and only boy meant they lived by ma rules

Negro please!

you're just like your father

**2legit** **2legit** **2legit** *screaming my name* _{of course not 2legit} how many times did i call you

This child don't kill yourself eh

2legit2qwt: you're just like your father

**2legit** **2legit** **2legit** *screaming my name* _{of course not 2legit} how many times did i call you

This child don't kill yourself eh

Or

This child don't kill me o!!

Or

This child, you will not be the end of me o!!
*pulls me by my ear*

Seems Nigerian mothers all have the same vocabulary.

My mum's favourite phrase back in the day was : Ma luu e beeni wipe mi o mo eye to su e (I'll beat you like I don't know which bird shat you!) The woman na case

Ti mo ba deal pelu e tan gbogbo nkan lo ma ma wu e je. ( When I'm done with you, you'll crave everything edible). I dunno why anyone would wanna eat after having their ar/se seriously whooped

naijababe: Seems Nigerian mothers all have the same vocabulary.

My mum's favourite phrase back in the day was : Ma luu e beeni wipe mi o mo eye to su e(I'll beat you like I don't know which bird shat you!) The woman na case

Hahahahaha that's intense.

Thanks for the English translation. Took me some time to read the Yoruba lol.