In this part of the world, whenever a lady is marrying a guy, she should have it in mind that she's not getting married to the man alone, but also to his family. And this has always been an issue with most wives. Especially when it comes to the issue of having a nosy mother-in-law.

Most ladies look forward to getting married and having the full love and attention of their husband. but its only few of them that take their husband's family into consideration before and after the wedding. we are africans, and not oyibos (white people) whose interpretation of marriage has to do with only the husband,the wife and kid(s). Any other person or family member is usually not in the picture. Unlike what we practice here in Nigeria, where a wife must be ready to accept and embrace every member of her hubby's family including the ones in the village, whether she likes it or not. and most times, they're bound to be in her face all the time, and even having more influence in her home than her.

And this is where most wives usually have problems with their mother-in-laws, if she's the nosy or troublesome type. but there is nothing a lady can do about it. Cos you can never know the true characters of your inlaws to- be, before getting married. and if you are married to a man who has a stong tie/bond with his family, his love for you may not be enough to protect you from the fangs of his family members if you're not that loved or accepted by them. that's why some wives go out of their way to please their inlaws, something they wouldnt want to do on a good day. but being an african man, family comes first to most men. and when I mean family, I'm talking about his extended family members. they dont joke with their mothers and siblings sometimes. That's why a wife to- be, must be prepared for the challenges ahead. cos waiting and looking forward to getting married, is just a tip of the iceberg, compare to what marriage really is, when it comes to an african setting... but come o, how can a woman be at peace with her mother-in-law? for, I find it hard to accept that all mother-in-laws are as mean as most wives would want us to believe. there should be some good ones nah...Abi no be so?

OK

Instead of wasting your time here writing epistle to nairaland, convert this rare talent giving talks on marriages and counselling for a fee to young and married people desirous of a change in their relationships.

LastApostle: Instead of wasting your time here writing epistle to nairaland, convert this rare talent giving talks on marriages and counselling for a fee to young and married people desirous of a change in their relationships.

Thanks. and noted

LastApostle: Instead of wasting your time here writing epistle to nairaland, convert this rare talent giving talks on marriages and counselling for a fee to young and married people desirous of a change in their relationships.

Well said!

LastApostle: Instead of wasting your time here writing epistle to nairaland, convert this rare talent giving talks on marriages and counselling for a fee to young and married people desirous of a change in their relationships.

First time I will quote you.

Nice

Mynd_44:
First time I will quote you.

Nice

Anu mpam, undo your quote and better keep hoarding it. Seun is not asking for a fee using the quote function if you are not in the know

I for one would NEVER marry a man who is still tied to his parents apron strings. It is very wrong for a man to put anybody before his immediate family, even the bible said a man shall LEAVE his family and be joined to his wife and they two shall become one. So any man who allows his 'meddlesome' family to mess with his real family is not only a weakling But Also not worth getting married to. And any lady who doesn't know to some extent the nature of her in laws before getting married is also a slacker. What is courtship for? In my books, it's not only the man that should be evaluated during courtship.

Bludeville: I for one would NEVER marry a man who is still tied to his parents apron strings. It is very wrong for a man to put anybody before his immediate family, even the bible said a man shall LEAVE his family and be joined to his wife and they two shall become one. So any man who allows his 'meddlesome' family to mess with his real family is not only a weakling But Also not worth getting married to. And any lady who doesn't know to some extent the nature of her in laws before getting married is also a slacker. What is courtship for? In my books, it's not only the man that should be evaluated during courtship.

In context the bible says that but in reality you have to strike a balance and draw boundaries. There is also no amount of knowing your in laws that would prepare you enough for the entire journey . Situations arise and you would be surprised how people bend under pressure.

Why do in-laws still butt into the marriage of their relatives in this day and age?
Is it not high time marriage became an affair between only the married couples rather than the married couple plus the entire clan?

I don't even like the idea of marrying a man's family (or marrying a woman's family in the case of the man), it is a cause of trouble in many marriages.......some in-laws don't know how to respect their relative's spouse or respect the privacy of their marriage.