Meddler: Pls I need to understand what this whole submission business I keep hearing means. Its on NL, in my office and social gatherings. What is it really?
I'm not married lemme quickly put it out there but why are ppl so adamant about this business of a head and tail. What ever happened to patners and being a team because that's how I feel marriage shud be. Raising a family shud be a team efforts where views are aired and decisions are made jointly as one. Off course there's bound to be disagreements from time to time but that's just the dynamics of social interaction. And yes once in a while someone has to back down and let they other person shine. That's just how the team works. It must not always be one person dng the backing down.
A marriage is team effort so when one person falls the other can pick up the slacks. When you co-own a business with someone else both individuals are required to give inputs, make decisions jointly for the good and growth of the business. Both individuals have to pull their weight accordingly and when either of them falls or slacsk off the other person is around to pick up the pieces.
So I ask again what is with all this submission business?

Hi Dear,

God commanded Christian wives to submit to their husbands and husbands love their wives. Submission itself is not bad, it is the interpretation people have come to give it.

A Christian husband is called to love his wife? what is this love? 1Cor13:1 - 8 defines it. It is always kind, patient, tolerant, polite, not boastful nor proud nor jealous, believes all things, has faith in the person, endures all things, always happy when the truth wins etc. You will agree with me that a husband who exhibits all these characteristics has esteemed his wife above himself i.e. he honours her above himself. The wife would reciprocate by honouring the husband (submission) above himself else he's like a fool because he is looking out for her and she is looking out for herself too. A wife would have no problems submitting to a husband who geninuely loves her. The husband makes the wife happy, why should she not make him happy too?

A husband is called to lead his family because he's the source. Ideally, a man decides to get married and seeks the woman they can both build their lives together. The man should have a vision of how his home would be and look for a woman that has a similar vision. This can be loosely termed as 'compatibility'.

A husband is also the head of his family how Jesus Christ is the Head of his Church. The right question should be 'how did Christ head His church?' He did by making sacrifices for her, loving her even when she was unlovable etc. Jesus also said that He did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many. A husband should serve his wife and not the other way round. Jesus showed us examples by washing the feet of his disciples, cooking for them etc.

If you find a Christian man who truly loves you, you will understand this concepts. I actually opened this thread from this POV.

'A man's love makes a woman blossom and that woman takes care of the man to make him blossom too.' Bukatyne 2012

Cheers.

bukatyne:

In fact, submission came up in the NT where wives were told to submit and husbands told to love. The creation story shows oneness and unity in purpose. After the creation, God talked about oneness and not submission. Submission or should I say subordination came after the fall. It was a consequence of their actions. Remember God said ...'because you ...., I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your desire shall be for your husband...'

The OT subordination was NOT a blessing to the woman.

Well before the fall God had decided to make Eve as a "help meet" for Adam who had already been placed as lord over all in the garden.

Your summary here is unbiblical.

Meddler: Pls I need to understand what this whole submission business I keep hearing means. Its on NL, in my office and social gatherings. What is it really?
I'm not married lemme quickly put it out there but why are ppl so adamant about this business of a head and tail. What ever happened to patners and being a team because that's how I feel marriage shud be. Raising a family shud be a team efforts where views are aired and decisions are made jointly as one. Off course there's bound to be disagreements from time to time but that's just the dynamics of social interaction. And yes once in a while someone has to back down and let they other person shine. That's just how the team works. It must not always be one person dng the backing down.
A marriage is team effort so when one person falls the other can pick up the slacks. When you co-own a business with someone else both individuals are required to give inputs, make decisions jointly for the good and growth of the business. Both individuals have to pull their weight accordingly and when either of them falls or slacsk off the other person is around to pick up the pieces.
So I ask again what is with all this submission business?

Submission simply means a woman opting to let her man take the lead in the home. Submission does not mean one person is a servant and the other a Lord.

davidylan:

Well before the fall God had decided to make Eve as a "help meet" for Adam who had already been placed as lord over all in the garden.

Your summary here is unbiblical.

What does Gen 1: 26 - 31 say?

bukatyne:

In fact, submission came up in the NT where wives were told to submit and husbands told to love. The creation story shows oneness and unity in purpose. After the creation, God talked about oneness and not submission. Submission or should I say subordination came after the fall. It was a consequence of their actions. Remember God said ...'because you ...., I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your desire shall be for your husband...'

The OT subordination was NOT a blessing to the woman.

Please, the Bible is not a piece of literature. There is a link between everything, you don't qoute a part without reference to others. what God said in Nbrs 30:1-16 is it a curse. Why are men not shouting up and down that they are cursed abi. please leave this curse of a thing. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow till world never end. He does not change. The whole structure has been built in the old testament and the coming of Jesus Christ was to redeem us and shed light on how to live right with God according to the already created laws in order for everyone of us to make heaven. Now let me reference you to the relationship between parents and children. In the OT. The holy book says in Matthew 15: 17 - 19. that no single i or the dot will by no means pass away. Please it is written in that with all thy getting get understanding Matt 4:7

Witty07:

Please, the Bible is not a piece of literature. There is a link between everything, you don't qoute a part without reference to others. what God said in Nbrs 30:1-16 is it a curse. Why are men not shouting up and down that they are cursed abi. please leave this curse of a thing. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow till world never end. He does not change. The whole structure has been built in the old testament and the coming of Jesus Christ was to redeem us and shed light on how to live right with God according to the already created laws in order for everyone of us to make heaven. Now let me reference you to the relationship between parents and children. In the OT. The holy book says in Matthew 15: 17 - 19. that no single i or the dot will by no means pass away. Please it is written in that with all thy getting get understanding Matt 4:7

Ok

bukatyne:

Hi Dear,

God commanded Christian wives to submit to their husbands and husbands love their wives. Submission itself is not bad, it is the interpretation people have come to give it.

A Christian husband is called to love his wife? what is this love? 1Cor13:1 - 8 defines it. It is always kind, patient, tolerant, polite, not boastful nor proud nor jealous, believes all things, has faith in the person, endures all things, always happy when the truth wins etc. You will agree with me that a husband who exhibits all these characteristics has esteemed his wife above himself i.e. he honours her above himself. The wife would reciprocate by honouring the husband (submission) above himself else he's like a fool because he is looking out for her and she is looking out for herself too. A wife would have no problems submitting to a husband who geninuely loves her. The husband makes the wife happy, why should she not make him happy too?

A husband is called to lead his family because he's the source. Ideally, a man decides to get married and seeks the woman they can both build their lives together. The man should have a vision of how his home would be and look for a woman that has a similar vision. This can be loosely termed as 'compatibility'.

A husband is also the head of his family how Jesus Christ is the Head of his Church. The right question should be 'how did Christ head His church?' He did by making sacrifices for her, loving her even when she was unlovable etc. Jesus also said that He did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many. A husband should serve his wife and not the other way round. Jesus showed us examples by washing the feet of his disciples, cooking for them etc.

If you find a Christian man who truly loves you, you will understand this concepts. I actually opened this thread from this POV.

'A man's love makes a woman blossom and that woman takes care of the man to make him blossom too.' Bukatyne 2012

Cheers.

Now that makes sense. I truly believe in oneness. I'm never going to completely agree with my husband and vice-versa but I do believe we have that responsibility of working together to reach a consensus. I've noticed that Nigerian men (not all) tend to equate submission to "slavery". Now before u start screaming bloody murder let me explain what i mean by "slavery". The fact that you both leave under the same roof and one spouse is left to handle everything in a house while the other one wakes up and does nothing to assist. For example, both husband and wife are employed and work equal amount of hours but only the wife is relegated to take care of all the house chores, cooking, getting the kids ready to work etc. Now I'm not saying the woman should start slacking because she's working but would be so hard for the guy to chip in too. Is that asking for too much?

Meddler:

Now that makes sense. I truly believe in oneness. I'm never going to completely agree with my husband and vice-versa but I do believe we have that responsibility of working together to reach a consensus. I've noticed that Nigerian men (not all) tend to equate submission to "slavery". Now before u start screaming bloody murder let me explain what i mean by "slavery". The fact that you both leave under the same roof and one spouse is left to handle everything in a house while the other one wakes up and does nothing to assist. For example, both husband and wife are employed and work equal amount of hours but only the wife is relegated to take care of all the house chores, cooking, getting the kids ready to work etc. Now I'm not saying the woman should start slacking because she's working but would be so hard for the guy to chip in too. Is that asking for too much?

Dear,

there are a lot of men with these belief system. It will be foolproof to marry a man who doesn't do any of these things and expect him to change in marriage.

It's well

davidylan:

Submission simply means a woman opting to let her man take the lead in the home. Submission does not mean one person is a servant and the other a Lord.

That's what i believe it should be but in the Nigerian setting it seems to be the latter. One being the servant and the other person a Lord.

pro01:

Too much 'exposure' dey worry you. You never ready. Better stay single or find an oyinbo man to marry.

My broda the tin tire me.

fresh_dude: My broda the tin tire me.

What should 'tire' you is the fact that when quality marriages are mentioned, Nigerian men are quick to direct us to the west.