Dear landers
I will be glad if yu can advise me on below stated concern
I am currently student in Australia,I met this naija lady online(skype) about a year ago and ever since then we” ve been dating .Although I have never met her before but she sounds too friendly and God fearing to me, aside this she has a good job (she works with MTN) but despite this I make sure I call her daily.
To cut the story short,she lost her mum about two months ago and during this period I was involved in some academic problems which left me incommunicado with her, but the last time I spoke with her prior to the communication break up , she was seriously complaining on how to source for money for her mums burial in which I made her to understand that the burial is not really her priority but her people and she shuld try to safe all wat she can as the main responsibilties of her siblings now fall on her(she has about 4 sis in uni in naija), but she disagrees and insisted its their culture and she must obliged by the rule of the game.
When I called her after the burial and my wahala in school,she was so hard on the phone dat I dissaperaed wen she needed me most,in which I tried to apologise and make her see reasons on wat I went thru during this period.
Though she said she has forgive and forget, I noticed thre was sudden change of attitude from her, if I call her 20times she might just decide to pik once,the same thing go 4my mails sometimes my 50email s = 1mail from her.
Initially she said she was busy sorting things out and she still interested in the relationship ,when I asked her probably if she still annoyed with me, but I remember she once mentioned how her toasters showers naira on her during her mums burial while I sit down in Australia dey do shakara hubby I have tried to mend things but her attitude remains the same.
My question is dis? Do I continue calling her or I should keep silence and watch things as it unfolds, to my little knowledge wen a lady is doing dat thres side attraction, landers please I need yur suggestions

Hi there, I am so sorry for you and believe me, I know, that there are few things in life that are worse than wondering, why do people do this to each other? Why not just be straight up? Why cause unnecessary pain? You know, we humans are a foolish, greedy people, destroying all that is good but what makes it all worthwhile is the way we love, When we love, we will die for our love, we will move mountains, cross oceans for our love, we love like no other and perhaps it is the way we love that makes us go on,

My advice to you, from what you say, is that you should immediately stop contacting this lady. Don't phone and see what happens, One of 2 things will happen and this will give you the answers you need in order to make your decision, Either, she will begin to wonder why you have not phoned and then begin to wonder if you have perhaps forgotten about her, this will then make her begin calling you (and when this happens by the way, answer the first time but during the first minute, interrupt her by saying you have to go, but you will call her back in an hour, DON't call back until at least 4 or 5 hours has passed and then make sure you end the conversation first) This will drive her mad and if she cares, you will have gained her back. The second possibility is that she will not call you at all (this is very rare and more than likely will never happen as I suspect this girl is just taking you for granted) clearly she is confident with the fact that she has won you and that you love you desperately, she has therefore begun taking advantage of this and she needs a wake up call-give her one!

About the events surrounding her mothers passing, stop apologising for not being there, she is also taking advantage in this regard and that is not very fair of her. She should understand that you were also (although your situation was perhaps not as serious as a parents death) going through some tough times.

I know the advice above is difficult because you really really just want to pick up the phone and hear her voice and probably will even begin to make excuses to yourself about having a good reason to phone, but DO NOT, jsut try it, remember by not phoning her for 3 days or so, you will have your answer after a few days and thats all, a few days.
Good luck and let me know what happens okay

@topic
all these long distance relationship sef .my brother,the possibility of success in such relationships is only minute.Ive been into it and I know what am saying.but that is not to say that long distance relationships don't work.you are in australia,she is in nigeria .she asked you for money for her mums burial? .my brother she might be trying to scam you,beware .what happened to her siblings,brothers in particular.much as I have seen in nigeria here,Its very rare to find a situation where the burden of burials lies on the shoulder of a lady.
Ive a little friend of mine "dating" a nigerian in the UK.she met the guy online.the guy sends her MTN top up card worth ^6000 every week just to oil the relationship,while the girl messes around down here.at a point the guy got wiser and stopped.
@poster
I suggest you think seriously about continuing with her.and moreover youve not met her.seeing is believing!.shine your eye!.nothing good might come out of it.Frank advice.

@Poster,
Sorry oh, dont mean to sound judgemental but i think she is a scammer. Shehas realised that she cant get jack from you and so decided to stop talking to you. Thank God you were smart if not you ould have sent money and she will keep coming up with funny stories to get money from you.

aisha2:

@Poster,
Sorry oh, don't mean to sound judgemental but i think she is a scammer. Shehas realised that she can't get jack from you and so decided to stop talking to you. Thank God you were smart if not you ould have sent money and she will keep coming up with funny stories to get money from you.

aisha, clap for urself.
aisha, u talk true jare.

o boy, the girl don see say she no fit get anything from u. to be honest, i doubt she even works with MTN but thats my opinion. o boy, make u check that girl well well

@ samanthaZA
Thanks a lot for your detail advise, let me add that its over one week we spoke last and all has been quiet , not even a flash. The behaviour was highly surprising because she wasn’t like this initially, until the last few months.


@OMO IBO
Yes she works with mtn in V/I she use to send mails through her mtn office mail. I tire for naija babes ooo. Even the so called professional  ladies

Please, forget about this lady. You are not even sure she lost her mother. She has now seen you are not forthcoming with anything and has decided to become cold. For all you know,she has other bobos.
You do not even know this fellow.
I know her type. Just leave her. Ignore her for a long while and see if she comes after you.

Give her space and stop calling her. When she do her shakara finish, she’ll come crawling back to u.

Watch and see.

@ poster
its such a pity you are treated like this, i will seriously advise you to keep low and watch things if shes truly yours she will surely come back to her brains.

@poster
Don't mind them jare, can you give me her number? I can get to talk to her on your behalf. There is no smoke without fire,so i believe there must be something wrong somewhere.
Trust me bro ! Check my profile for my e-mail addy( NOT MY OFFICIAL ADDY )
0803200?

Meet another lady online

At least she has proven to you how "God-fearing" she really is.  You don't want her to prove the rest of her multiple personality syndrome do you?

You have enough problems with school and so on for now.  Please try to concentrate and graduate so a better lady can appreciate all your struggles abroad to become better person in life. I don't believe in long distance relationships anyway. Please face your studies and let her continue with her "religious runs" with her spraying "toasters"!  Another lady will come by as soon as you are ready.

@Poster
take ur time, achieve good things with ur life and dont let anyone you cant see anytime soon give you stress.
Face ur books and comeback to 9ja to share in the loot( e plenty well well) and then all dem babes will follow u.