One thing I understand from this thread is that all the married women who pretend to be married are all blessed with wonderful husbands. Hmmm I thank God for them and I pray it continues like that throughout the marriage. Women please know that men are ego-centric. Women should study the behavior of a male lion - never does anything but sleeps. Yet he commands the respect of the pride and the lioness never disrespects him. Women nothing is more insulting than when you tell your man that this is 21st century (to either backup an action or an argument).

JallowBah: He works, I works.
He pays, I pay ( house, food, bills. )
I buy my own beauty-things with my own money, he buys whatever he needs with his money.
I clean, he clean.
I cook, he cook.
I get up with the kid in the night, so does he. ( After breastfeeding stopped.. )

And for me, that is how I want it. I do not wish to go to my husband and ask for money for clothes, shoes, or a coffee for that matter. And I do not wish to put the whole responsibility for bills on him either.

. I k̲̣̣̣̥n̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣w̶̲̥̅̊ U̶̲̥̅̊ have A̶̲̥̅ nice heart but sincerely if U̶̲̥̅ want him to do all U̶̲̥̅̊ do....there is goin to be A̶̲̥̅ prob somday.my advice....just let him help the way he can.

So many player haters running loose around hia!

*but mehnnn! some girls got it all really twisted o...who'll blame them when full able body-ed men climb da pulpit to cause more havoc in marriages than any good.

Una too get time. Open ya mouth and tell me its my turn to cook. The next day you will have two or more babes in the same house cooking for me with strict instructions to bundle you out if you misbehave. They will stay in that house till you either change or unilaterally move. what nonesense?

My mother never gave and still hasent given my dad bull--shiit and i will not take it from any woman. I will love and respect you, lend a helping hand as often as necessary, but take it as a right and put you where you should be

Boss13: One thing I understand from this thread is that all the married women who pretend to be married are all blessed with wonderful husbands. Hmmm I thank God for them and I pray it continues like that throughout the marriage. Women please know that men are ego-centric. Women should study the behavior of a male lion - never does anything but sleeps. Yet he commands the respect of the pride and the lioness never disrespects him. Women nothing is more insulting than when you tell your man that this is 21st century (to either backup an action or an argument).

. U̶̲̥̅̊ r so so damn right..

bukatyne: Boss, Some couples have bonded so well that the man/woman doesn't need to tell the other what to do. They see their partner working/spending and automatically know when to come in.

Abeg stop the hypothesis, we live in the real world. Many men in marriages tolerate their wives because they don't want to create an issue. An angry woman is a dangerous woman. A man who wants a happy home knows that and will want to maintain peace in the home and not about bonding. Come and hear what married men say to their friends even your own husband, if you are part of the women pretending to be married.

Boss13:

Abeg stop the hypothesis, we live in the real world. Many men in marriages tolerate their wives because they don't want to create an issue. An angry woman is a dangerous woman. A man who wants a happy home knows that and will want to maintain peace in the home and not about bonding. Come and hear what married men say to their friends even your own husband, if you are part of the women pretending to be married.

Boss, I talking of the real world. And no, I am not married, I am engaged. Do you know what bonding means?

loswhite: wats is there to carry your own child in d middle of night n y do you hav to think dat ur father did dat because he wants to reduce stress frm ur mum pls 4 ur info men luv their kids n they won't mind bathing or dressing them but what we hate its when u start saying I will cook today n 2 Moro will be ur turn dats wat is annoying .4. Ladies if u want ur husband to help tell him politely n jokingly trust me he will gladly do more than wat u ask.
But 4 those ladies dat cums to nairaland n say I work n he works so there 4 we must share d domestic works I tink is not abt d work but more of competition which is bad 4 relationship

. Gbam....nice one

For those bragging women who claim their husbands help out with chores, lets do a test (well this will be my last response for now, I am in a training session). When next your man is doing home chores, go to him and tell him - baby don't worry, I will handle it. Go and watch tv. If he insist on still doing it (he is doing it for love). If he abandons the chores for tv I guess you know the answer. But you have to promise that there will be no consequences.

Go and test your hubands, tomorrow is weekend. You can come back and tell us (be honest) because I will ask specific questions.

bukatyne: Boss, I talking of the real world. And no, I am not married, I am engaged. Do you know what bonding means?

The only bond I know is hydrocarbon bond in chemistry. If you mean husband and wife bond in marriage - hell no. It is called understanding. Knowing your partner. Tolerating your partner and forgiving your partner's mistake. Me, I no know wet in be bonding - sorry oh. Good to know you are engaged, be good to your future husband, many men are scared to marry. Our women are turning into monsters

Really, see wahala
I wee for naija, all my tears go for naija, there is no hope

Aggrippa: a man`s duty in the HOME NOWADAYS IS TO BE WASHING PLATE and also bathing the woman and their children

God forbids ! am a lady but i hate to see a man lowered to a position of a maid accept he is a maid.mi first boyfriend i left to marry mi hubby(yes av only dated two guys and married one )is because of this.the guy wants to cook,clean and even wash mi pant and it really irritated me .i wasn't brought up that way so it was so strange i thought the guy was possessed.MY MAN SHOULD MAN UP,HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CLEAN AND COOK TO SHOW LOVE EXCEPT WHEN HE WANTS TO.I WORK AND TAKE CARE OF MI HOME AND I TAKE IT AS MI RIGHT.EVERYTHING FROM CLEANING,TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND COOKING IS MINE TO DO AND THE SECRET LADIES IS THAT WAY,HE WANTS TO HELP OFTEN COS HE WANTS TO BE PART OF THE HOME MAKING ! IF YOU CANT DO IT ALL GET A HOUSE- HELP,COOK,DRIVER ETC IF YOU CAN AFFORD BUT PLEASE DON'T FORCE THE GUY TO DO IT.ME PERSONALLY I HATE WEAK MEN(bring on the bashing,i wont be coming back to this page to read it )

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devour129: God forbids ! am a lady but i hate to see a man lowered to a position of a maid accept he is a maid.mi first boyfriend i left to marry mi hubby(yes av only dated two guys and married one )is because of this.the guy wants to cook,clean and even wash mi pant and it really irritated me .i wasn't brought up that way so it was so strange i thought the guy was possessed.MY MAN SHOULD MAN UP,HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CLEAN AND COOK TO SHOW LOVE EXCEPT WHEN HE WANTS TO.I WORK AND TAKE CARE OF MI HOME AND I TAKE IT AS MI RIGHT.EVERYTHING FROM CLEANING,TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND COOKING IS MINE TO DO AND THE SECRET LADIES IS THAT WAY,HE WANTS TO HELP OFTEN COS HE WANTS TO BE PART OF THE HOME MAKING ! IF YOU CANT DO IT ALL GET A HOUSE- HELP,COOK,DRIVER ETC IF YOU CAN AFFORD BUT PLEASE DON'T FORCE THE GUY TO DO IT.ME PERSONALLY I HATE WEAK MEN(bring on the bashing,i wont be coming back to this page to read it )

. Ur hubby must be A̶̲̥̅ lucky man.....

Op you are very razz even more razz than mrschima . Anyway my brothers don't mind the old hag , who gon marry this type of girl smh.
Sorry ain't gonna buy your story

Boss13:

The only bond I know is hydrocarbon bond in chemistry. If you mean husband and wife bond in marriage - hell no. It is called understanding. Knowing your partner. Tolerating your partner and forgiving your partner's mistake. Me, I no know wet in be bonding - sorry oh. Good to know you are engaged, be good to your future husband, many men are scared to marry. Our women are turning into monsters

You call it understanding, I call it bonding. Maybe women are becoming monsters because the men got there first. As for been good to my guy, don't worry we are been BEST to each other I also think the attitude our society has towards marriage is wrong. it's not a do or die affaair. it's beautiful but for the right reasons. Maybe the guys are scared to marry because they have not found the woman they love and what to spend the rest of their lives with. They don't need to hurry, they keep looking, behave their best, develop desirable qualities like kindness, genuiue love, trust, patience, hunility, gentleness etc and the right woman will come along. All the best.

busolayemi: u dnt av to undastand...as long as u undastand d flow of discussion...if u av sumtin contribute, do...if not f**k off

.Your education is a waste if u keep up with this nasty writing and attitude...

busolayemi: Sumtyms I wonda aw dis men cope b4 dey got married...its ppl like dem dat kip a dirty room nd patronize mama bash's stupidly prepared meal...gosh!

many bachelors can cook and clean their home before marriage plus mama bash food is not stupidly prepared.

truth is things like good sex and good food and no longer the prerogative of married men.

busolayemi: Sumtyms I wonda aw dis men cope b4 dey got married...its ppl like dem dat kip a dirty room nd patronize mama bash's stupidly prepared meal...gosh!

many bachelors can cook and clean their home before marriage plus mama bash food is not stupidly prepared.

truth is things like good sex and good food are no longer the prerogative of married men.

[sup][/sup][left][/left]is not compulsory your man must do house chores for you or at worst share it 50 / 50 with you.
most times we women cause problems for ourselves because we keep comparing our spouses with our neighbours, friends or relatives spouses. first understand your man, his beliefs, background, upbringing and strenghts before you embark on the journey of trying to force a horse to drink water.

Men generally love their free time at home just like kids. some are domesticated while most of them are not, so find out whom you are married to before you start sharing chores or having too much expectations from him in that regard. depending on your environment and other peculiar conditions, financial status and your ability to have help ( maybe relative or paid help), i believe we woman should manage our house chores and appreciate help when we get from our spouses, and free them when we don't. afterall some women don't help financially even when they are capable and some of such homes are still functional because the man is tolerant about it.

is all just maturity amongst mates, the way you make your bed....

2buff:

This is Nigerian thinking. You better hope you STAY in Nigerian then and not leave.
That is why Nigerian homes breakup here, unless you don't want her to work. But if she has to work, do ALL that, and sex you on top in this part of the world....You suppose pity am naw.

interesting. so nigerian homes have more breakups and divorces than western homes. that's some surprising statistic.

busolayemi: u dnt av to undastand...as long as u undastand d flow of discussion...if u av sumtin contribute, do...if not f**k off

i think you made a mistake with this remark. you attacked your only alibi.

The responces from the females give credence to why many of them are still single and may remain so.
You accepted the white man culture in the name of civilization, how many of your culture did they borrow and even with these yeye culture we know the rate of divorce in the so called developed countries.
Moreso, you women talk as if you are responsible for the financila upkeep of the home, of which we all know how hard it is for you to drop a dime.
Let that wise single and seriously searching lady grab your husband....

devour129: God forbids ! am a lady but i hate to see a man lowered to a position of a maid accept he is a maid.mi first boyfriend i left to marry mi hubby(yes av only dated two guys and married one )is because of this.the guy wants to cook,clean and even wash mi pant and it really irritated me .i wasn't brought up that way so it was so strange i thought the guy was possessed.MY MAN SHOULD MAN UP,HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CLEAN AND COOK TO SHOW LOVE EXCEPT WHEN HE WANTS TO.I WORK AND TAKE CARE OF MI HOME AND I TAKE IT AS MI RIGHT.EVERYTHING FROM CLEANING,TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND COOKING IS MINE TO DO AND THE SECRET LADIES IS THAT WAY,HE WANTS TO HELP OFTEN COS HE WANTS TO BE PART OF THE HOME MAKING ! IF YOU CANT DO IT ALL GET A HOUSE- HELP,COOK,DRIVER ETC IF YOU CAN AFFORD BUT PLEASE DON'T FORCE THE GUY TO DO IT.ME PERSONALLY I HATE WEAK MEN(bring on the bashing,i wont be coming back to this page to read it )

Sweetheart, I wouldn't bash you but the bolded is wrong. Everyone have their preference but a wife who does those things is not a slave or a maid.

No be now again wen wife de wash husband cloth, cook and sweep and still care for the kids. Haba! dem be slaves? Any man wen no de help him wife they do all these things belong to the Stone Age after all, women de work and earn money too. Dem fit hold their own. Man wen no fit do this things by hand fit hire and pay house help.

KINGwax: hehehehe, i said it, a bad wife.. Imagine the sterotyping agaisnt the igbo ppl!!! FIY, i'm a yoruba, and girls like u are better avoided!!
Listen. U fool:
I got ppl i love to nip on, like mynd, sexkillz etc, but biliv wax, it's all for fun, nothing serious. But u, from day one is one hell of a rotten animal i detest!! And my rants against u are sooo real.
i repeat, u'll make a bad wife. And ur mother in-law is in some real deep shitt accepting an animal into thier family. I knw dt by d way u jes told me i need an explanation from my MOM!!
I respect other people's mom and in all my yrs of carefree comments, i dnt insult anyone's parent.
As a yoruba, u jes laid a bad example as a racist!!! And it's ur type dt's aborted all their children durin high school!!!
Listen, hold ur fort, u're a bimbo!!!

So on point! That girl is just a monke/y. I pity her in-laws and her husband to-be. The duty of men has been provider and women chores. Just imagine, that ediot of a monkey wanting me to prove my manliness by washing her bra once in a while. Stupi/d! OP's excuse for men sharing chores is shared financial responsibilities abi? Senseless. Let me put it straight. A man's job in the home is providing and providing only. Take it or leave it.

JallowBah: He works, I works.
He pays, I pay ( house, food, bills. )
I buy my own beauty-things with my own money, he buys whatever he needs with his money.
I clean, he clean.
I cook, he cook.
I get up with the kid in the night, so does he. ( After breastfeeding stopped.. )

And for me, that is how I want it. I do not wish to go to my husband and ask for money for clothes, shoes, or a coffee for that matter. And I do not wish to put the whole responsibility for bills on him either.

If I comment nw u girls will say I am a chauvinist!!!the way this write up dey turn my belle ehn! Hw does dis kind of girl or the poster intend to get married in naija,even if they do they must be bad wives.

2buff:

This is Nigerian thinking. You better hope you STAY in Nigerian then and not leave.
That is why Nigerian homes breakup here, unless you don't want her to work. But if she has to work, do ALL that, and sex you on top in this part of the world....You suppose pity am naw.

You know that is not true...Nigerian marriages still last longer than what is obtainable in the western world.

The divorce rate in the US is now between 40 and 60%...i.e. For every three marriages in the US, two will be heading into divorce. You can say the same with Nigeria.

This high rate of divorce is not unrelated to the equality agenda been pushed. That said, If both parties work, there should be some sharing in the house...but I still hold it firm that the ladies should be in charge of the kitchen, what I mean by this is...She directs all eating affairs for the family, this does not mean that, she should be cooking everyday or every-time, she can decide either dinning-out, cooking, ordering-in, buffet, etc....she owns it; however, this should not be done often, am still from the old school, who beliefs that, my wife and not some other woman or man(at the restaurant, hotel, dinner, etc) should prepare my food.

I do not care doing the laundry, or doing the dishes or cleaning the furniture, or giving the kids bath and preparing them for school...even if she wants some time out away from the kids to be with her friends, so that they can do those 'female stuff' that is kool with me as well....I go out with my friends away from the kids, why shouldn't she...sometimes I take the kids away from the house to the

Michky: So on point! That girl is just a monke/y. I pity her in-laws and her husband to-be. The duty of men has been provider and women chores. Just imagine, that ediot of a monkey wanting me to prove my manliness by washing her bra once in a while. Stupi/d! OP's excuse for[b] men sharing chores is shared financial responsibilities abi[/b]? Senseless. Let me put it straight. A man's job in the home is providing and providing only. Take it or leave it.

shared financial responsibilities is not enough justification for shared chores?

ifihearam:

If I comment nw u girls will say I am a chauvinist!!!the way this write up dey turn my belle ehn! Hw does dis kind of girl or the poster intend to get married in naija,even if they do they must be bad wives.

Can you just explain to me what you find offensive in the post you quoted?

devour129: God forbids ! am a lady but i hate to see a man lowered to a position of a maid accept he is a maid.mi first boyfriend i left to marry mi hubby(yes av only dated two guys and married one )is because of this.the guy wants to cook,clean and even wash mi pant and it really irritated me .i wasn't brought up that way so it was so strange i thought the guy was possessed.MY MAN SHOULD MAN UP,HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CLEAN AND COOK TO SHOW LOVE EXCEPT WHEN HE WANTS TO.I WORK AND TAKE CARE OF MI HOME AND I TAKE IT AS MI RIGHT.EVERYTHING FROM CLEANING,TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND COOKING IS MINE TO DO AND THE SECRET LADIES IS THAT WAY,HE WANTS TO HELP OFTEN COS HE WANTS TO BE PART OF THE HOME MAKING ! IF YOU CANT DO IT ALL GET A HOUSE- HELP,COOK,DRIVER ETC IF YOU CAN AFFORD BUT PLEASE DON'T FORCE THE GUY TO DO IT.ME PERSONALLY I HATE WEAK MEN(bring on the bashing,i wont be coming back to this page to read it )

God bless your marriage and parents who brought you up properly like a typical nigerian woman,I pray for you,may your children(female)never have a trait of the op or her supporters,they will never get married or stay long in marriage.

devour129: God forbids ! am a lady but i hate to see a man lowered to a position of a maid accept he is a maid.mi first boyfriend i left to marry mi hubby(yes av only dated two guys and married one )is because of this.the guy wants to cook,clean and even wash mi pant and it really irritated me .i wasn't brought up that way so it was so strange i thought the guy was possessed.MY MAN SHOULD MAN UP,HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CLEAN AND COOK TO SHOW LOVE EXCEPT WHEN HE WANTS TO.I WORK AND TAKE CARE OF MI HOME AND I TAKE IT AS MI RIGHT.EVERYTHING FROM CLEANING,TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND COOKING IS MINE TO DO AND THE SECRET LADIES IS THAT WAY,HE WANTS TO HELP OFTEN COS HE WANTS TO BE PART OF THE HOME MAKING ! IF YOU CANT DO IT ALL GET A HOUSE- HELP,COOK,DRIVER ETC IF YOU CAN AFFORD BUT PLEASE DON'T FORCE THE GUY TO DO IT.ME PERSONALLY I HATE WEAK MEN(bring on the bashing,i wont be coming back to this page to read it )

You've said it , as it is... Thumbs up.... But I wonder the mindset some women av these days...it baffles me, sha.. For marriage to be peaceful and loving, it can never be 50-50. ... A man cannot be a woman because he is married.. Nah, not logical.. Thank God, am not lazy.