Stop insulting the young man who is opening up the truth to you,for your information the man you are heeping insults on rigth now is old enough to marry you, he may be your future hubby you never can tell.

busolayemi: @ Kingwax...ur jst sum annoyin nd disgustin piece of trash who's needs to b noticed...nd yes, u r noticed so parkwell. Nd ur supporter, well av not yet noticed u o...buh I tink ur followin a saddist...chk out his responses...he rily sound like a saddist. Now, to d issue at hand, I have a very caring husband who knos we both work n so knos well dat I nid d help. Wat I dnt get is, if u actually love a woman like u claim to, y allow n watch er crush unda d stress of housechores in d name of bein d head of d family....wats rong in helping er out on sum of dem Forget foreign n africa culture....we r al human...little wonda sum women looks like trash in 2yrs of marriage...is it easy ni? To takia of children, d home, d kitchen nd den a grown up man....I love ma man...God bless u for me....I dnt pray a memba of ma family fall victim of a man like kingmax...nd am so suo d idiot is an igbo man...dey c their wives as properties anyway....if u aint..den I tink u deserve an xplanatn frm ur mom...cos dat blood flows in u

Chrisjane:
poor mentality

Not poor mentality, he was saying the truth. Many women in naija pretend a lot. They want to appear the best but all they say only happens in their dreams. They push their friends to the limit, create wahala. Yet they stick to the bullshit they have. Truly unfair of the poster. She raised a very sensitive topic that may begin to influence women and put homes, especially young ones, in jeopardy and then begin to say every home is different, what works for one might not be the same for the other. To me I believe it is an insult to the intellects here and frequent visitors. If she was seeking attention or trying to create a thread for the first time, only God knows. She also went as far as insulting the men here, stereotyping an ethnic group and so many men began to label her as a bad wife. A woman who forgets she has a home/husband and open her mouths to begin to say rubbish and insult other men is less of a woman and should return to the bush. These women have lost their values and before they corrupt others, they should go back to the bush. For me I think the poster is bad for our society. To stereotype an ethnic group is sick to me and if I know you as a person, I will avoid you like a disease.

It's not a big deal if d man of d huse helps wit d daily duties at home atleast it wld even help d wife not too look aged due to stress.

Couples can reach an understanding on this issue. They should not entertain outside interferance from relations and friends otherwise they will run into problems; the issue of man the head of the home will continue to crop up (as if that was ever in dispute).

Boss13:

You started it. Now I don't believe you. If we come to your house, maybe the reverse of what you telling us might be playing out in your house. You are yet to apologize to the men on this thread for the derogatory statements you made.

Boss, you are definately mistaking me for someone else.

bukatyne: Boss, you are definately mistaking me for someone else.

Oh sorry about that I thought you were the poster. She is very annoying. We are not white people so we should stop pretending to be and respect our culture and heritage. An African man never does chores. If a 21st century man decides to do, the wife should consider it a blessing and not a duty. African women stop sending out the wrong message.

KINGwax: hehehehe, i said it, a bad wife.. Imagine the sterotyping agaisnt the igbo ppl!!! FIY, i'm a yoruba, and girls like u are better avoided!!
Listen. U fool:
I got ppl i love to nip on, like mynd, sexkillz etc, but biliv wax, it's all for fun, nothing serious. But u, from day one is one hell of a rotten animal i detest!! And my rants against u are sooo real.
i repeat, u'll make a bad wife. And ur mother in-law is in some real deep shitt accepting an animal into thier family. I knw dt by d way u jes told me i need an explanation from my MOM!!
I respect other people's mom and in all my yrs of carefree comments, i dnt insult anyone's parent.
As a yoruba, u jes laid a bad example as a racist!!! And it's ur type dt's aborted all their children durin high school!!!
Listen, hold ur fort, u're a bimbo!!!

guy RESPECT to yor yarns.

busolayemi: gone r dose days wen I av tym for responses on nairaland...buh u c madea, forget bou women emancipation...I tink its only normal a man helps his wife...its not jst bou gender equality buh mayb ma background...I av such a lovin dad who wudnt allow ma mum ovastress hersef...dats minus d fact dat a bigger chunk of d financial stress is on him. For instance, he doesn't allow ma mum wake up at nyt to care for d baby as long has d baby's weaned...most nyt, I wake up nd see him in d livin room, carryin d baby on his chest or his neck...jst to lessen d stress for mummy...nd I can't rememba eva seein dem argue talkless fight...so u c, if u feel am talkin cos of waeva ur reasons, den u nid to get to sum homes...I dnt tink it remove anytin frm a man to help his wife out...yes, d wife shdnt take advantage of dat buh at d same tym...men shd learn to help more....wat do u say of men dat can't even cook...if their wife isn't dere, dey turn to mama bash n eateries...I dnt get african men...so complicated...God bless ma hubby thoe...he's a blessin to me*kissesdearie*

so because yor dad does it yor husband too must do it? Wat if yor husband is from a home wer his mum does everytin at home wat happens?

Now am feelin so bad...neva meant for dis to get dis far ppl....nd if in d course of dis discussion I ad step on toes...so sorry...esp d guys/men....I so dnt even know wat to typ...buh one way or d oda, av gained frm dis discussion...tanks everyone

Where is the poster lets us teach her African culture and heritage. She is a disgrace to our society. You do not insult people's mom, you do not insult men, while for fact you have a husband only bush people do. You are a disgrace to African womanhood, a disgrace to our society, a disgrace to your supposedly husband. You think because this is an online forum, you can make derogatory statements and feel good about yourself. You belong to the bush, you are not a modern woman, the bush where there is no values and respect is where your kind belongs. I want you to confront me. Bush woman

APpreciate ur woman. It won't hurt to help out, once in a while

D truth is dat we women love to b hlpd especially by our hubby, it makes US feel loved, we can't deny dat. There is a woman I knw of who wrks, n any day she gets home, she prepares dinner. It was like 20 yrs after marriage dat d man got home and cooked with d help of their daughter dat he realized wat d wife has been passing through. He was astonished, as in, how has she been able 2 go about it 4 so long WITHOUT complaints. He loves her more n can't stop telling d story. He helps out now weneva he gets home b4 her. Wen u see dis couple, u will marvel at how deep dey love each oda. its not dat dey don't have their misunderstanding nw n den, but showing appreciation kindles love. Simple.
Women love 2 b appreciated, I 4 one love it.

Boss13: One thing I understand from this thread is that all the married women who pretend to be married are all blessed with wonderful husbands. Hmmm I thank God for them and I pray it continues like that throughout the marriage. Women please know that men are ego-centric. Women should study the behavior of a male lion - never does anything but sleeps. Yet he commands the respect of the pride and the lioness never disrespects him. Women nothing is more insulting than when you tell your man that this is 21st century (to either backup an action or an argument).

You shall be honoured amongst women!

Paentera:

You shall be honoured amongst women!

Thanks but I Am a man

Boss13:

Thanks but I Am a man

busolayemi: @ Kingwax...ur jst sum annoyin nd disgustin piece of trash who's needs to b noticed...nd yes, u r noticed so parkwell. Nd ur supporter, well av not yet noticed u o...buh I tink ur followin a saddist...chk out his responses...he rily sound like a saddist. Now, to d issue at hand, I have a very caring husband who knos we both work n so knos well dat I nid d help. Wat I dnt get is, if u actually love a woman like u claim to, y allow n watch er crush unda d stress of housechores in d name of bein d head of d family....wats rong in helping er out on sum of dem Forget foreign n africa culture....we r al human...little wonda sum women looks like trash in 2yrs of marriage...is it easy ni? To takia of children, d home, d kitchen nd den a grown up man....I love ma man...God bless u for me....I dnt pray a memba of ma family fall victim of a man like kingmax...nd am so suo d idiot is an igbo man...dey c their wives as properties anyway....if u aint..den I tink u deserve an xplanatn frm ur mom...cos dat blood flows in u

ignorant and proud. You are definitely a bad wife or definitely not married. afterall, you can be whatever on nl.

Originalsly: Like you said that's the way you want it. So who is the head of the house? ...who has the last word?... who wears the pants?...hmmm...the trousers? Every family has a head...one head...is that you? @ topic...I do believe the man should be the provider and the woman take care of the home. Depending on where you live and circumstances it may be necessary for the woman to work. What happens if they both work and the man loses his job? Does he not do anything at home... because it should be done by a woman? I don't agree with that.I see nothing wrong in a man helping out in the home...even if they both work.

No marriage is the same. When we are both working full-time, then yes, I expect the house-chores to be equal. When he was without a job, he took the mainpart. When I was without a job, I took the mainpart. Out of love, not because you HAVE to. I love coming home to dinner on the table, and so does he

bizz: . I k̲̣̣̣̥n̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣w̶̲̥̅̊ U̶̲̥̅̊ have A̶̲̥̅ nice heart but sincerely if U̶̲̥̅ want him to do all U̶̲̥̅̊ do....there is goin to be A̶̲̥̅ prob somday.my advice....just let him help the way he can.

4 years, no problems so far.

ifihearam:

I find everything offensive,marriage is not a competition of independence in anyway. So one woman bron of a woman will expect it as a point of duty for ME(ifihearam)to clean and cook for her(thunder fire her life)why??I dey mad ni? Fine I can do things on my own afterall am nt a dirty sweet man.

I was in capetown sometimes ago and the apartment I shared with a congolese,so we shared kitchen and bathroom,I was cooking one fateful day after washing my dishes when this babe who was also cooking just dropped a bowl where I was washing ad said"please wash it for me" omo if you see my reaction that day,she apologised her heart out,I was very furious,I told her never to repeat this rubbish. She was like,she sends her boyfriend on errands and does house chores for her. I warned her never to try it with me as a matter of fact by all standard she ought to wash my dishes as my tradition demands and she apologised once more and offered to wash my dishes and from there she fell in love with me for being able to handle her.

I can cook for my family once in a very long while(if body sweet me)but for my babe or wife to make it a responsibility then she is tired of the marriage or relationship.

It is a duty for me, and it is a duty for him. To make your spouse happy is the most important thing..if that means cleaning the dishes, or putting on the laundry-machine, and you can`t even do that, well..

And for the part about the woman dis-respecting: I completely agree with you, she did bad there. I would never talk to my husband, or friends, like that.

Michky: Eleyi ti ya were o! So, your expecting me to leave my busy bank job to cater for your sick booty when i can afford a house help eh? Are you sure you're not sick presently?

...no? Everything has it`s limit..I myself would NOT like a stranger to come in my house and clean me and my things, some would be comfortable with it. I am writing what I would like.
Luckily, where I live, if your spouse is that sick, they will give you free from your work, WITH payment, to take care of your spouse.

ON TOPIC.

What people seem to forget, is that I am responding and writing on what works for ME and MY marriage. My words are not the law, every married couple need to find out what works for THEM.
If me and my hubby was both working fulltime, outside the house 9-10 hours every day, and he expected me to take care of ALL the chores, as well as everything with the kids, our marriage would not last long. If I was a housewife, or worked part-time, all/most of the chores would go on me.

All the men here saying "it`s a womans job", I wonder how you would handle the new law here: When you have a baby, the mother get payed for staying home for the first 6months. She can divide it up and stay part time/work part time, and get as much cash every month as she did when she was working. Here comes the scary part for ya`ll:
The FATHER have to take 3months off work, with payment, and stay home alone with the child. What would all of you men do in that situation?? Leave the house to itself while she is working full-time, and expect her to cook and clean everything still..?

busolayemi: sometime last week, I got into a discussion with a male friend of mine and the subject of discussion was that gone are the days when women sit at home to cater for children....These days, its a collective effort...now, that got me thinking if the financial responsibility at the home front is now shared...what happens to the domestic responsibilities....cos I know men who still insist their wife do their laundry and sum chores all in the name of being the man of the house...

There's absolutely nothing on earth i cannot do for my wife when it comes to the issue of domestic chores. It will interest you to know that just yesterday, i paid a courtesy visit to my friend who had a baby a year ago, and because this was the very first time i was seeing the Baby ever since she was born, coupled with the fact that her mum, my friend was busy in the kitchen, i gave a helping. I had to bath the baby, powdered her, creamed her, changed her diaper, fed her, pat her continously at the back while playing some old skool blues to her hearing until she slept off.
So, there's nothing difficult in doing all these and still fending for my family.
But a situation where your type of girls come up here to share or apportion domestic chores all in the name of 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th or even 25th century is totally absurd.
Take a good look at it from this angle. Why don't you suggest that you come ask for my hand in marriage since time is changing? Yes now!

Seriously,I really do appreciate my husband more afta reading sm comment.I pray he dosnt meet friends dt will discorage him frm bn a caring husband all in d name of pride n ego.we hv chosen to love each oda d way Christ has taught us n dts wt matters..

lindiwey: Seriously,I really do appreciate my husband more afta reading sm comment.I pray he dosnt meet friends dt will discorage him frm bn a caring husband all in d name of pride n ego.we hv chosen to love each oda d way Christ has taught us n dts wt matters..

People around you can make you see problems where there was nothing to worry about to begin with..

What duty again nah? A man in d house is a handyman or serviceman or repairman or whatever. Duty na duty. Thank y'll

Ok I'm late to this party and I thank God for letting me see real men here on this thread. Guys, she has apologized and I suppose she is learning from the bashing she's just received. Even Beyonce dey represent to talk of one 'new feminist' crazed Nigerian. Na God help u say I no come in when when the ogbono soup was just about to be ready. You for bow for the ingredient wen I for take cook am.

Even in the U.S with strong women laws, my wife can never give me this crap, NEVER, EVER. Despite her beauty and income she knows her boundaries, she can't even confront or question my authority and decision. The day that happens, there's no need for headache you are simply tired of marraige and prepared for single-motherhood. However I help her do some stuffs of my own volition if I am in a good mood and offcourse provisional monetarily and emotionally. I swear no woman can try shit with me, the day her friend suggested she called the cops because I yelled I actually helped her to do the calling, when they came she said she did not put a call through and she did not need their help either. I am a very loving man, but the day you begin to talk back at me or mandate chore duties, I'll just leave the house for you. Finally she knows very well there are a queue of women out there to do exactly what she might consider impossible. I dey vex sef. Dem never born that woman wey go turn me to houseboy or nanny. Even my daughter sef, I have never changed diapers, I pay for a nanny when necessary.

dick hardener: Even in the U.S with strong women laws, my wife can never give me this crap, NEVER, EVER. Despite her beauty and income she knows her boundaries, she can't even confront or question my authority and decision. The day that happens, there's no need for headache you are simply tired of marraige and prepared for single-motherhood. However I help her do some stuffs of my own volition if I am in a good mood and offcourse provisional monetarily and emotionally. I swear no woman can try shit with me, the day her friend suggested she called the cops because I yelled I actually helped her to do the calling, when they came she said she did not put a call through and she did not need their help either. I am a very loving man, but the day you begin to talk back at me or mandate chore duties, I'll just leave the house for you. Finally she knows very well there are a queue of women out there to do exactly what she might consider impossible. I dey vex sef. Dem never born that woman wey go turn me to houseboy or nanny. Even my daughter sef, I have never changed diapers, I pay for a nanny when necessary.

hmm, so you dont think you should help out at home. My friend . Am disappointed.

Ladies, do yourself a favor and get a domesticated loving man. Not a chauvinist or one that thinks someone's role is this and that.smh

baby_123:



hmm, so you dont think you should help out at home. My friend . Am disappointed.

Ladies, do yourself a favor and get a domesticated loving man. Not a chauvinist or one that thinks someone's role is this and that.smh

babes did you see where I said I help her of my own volition but an obligation is a big resounding capital NO NO

Mr...hardener.

Like I said; every marriage is different, but the rude attitude you got towards your wife is kinda..disturbing, in my eyes.
It seems like "It don`t matter if she don?t act the way I want her to act, cause if she do so, I can always just kick her out and find another woman". For me, that does not show love..

2buff: I take it you were both going to work BEFORE living in the same house.
How were you keeping things together before then? Do it the same way, only this time, y'all have an extra pair of hands... Each other.

You both work. If you are tired when you get back, he/she also is. No one is superman/superwoman. You are both flesh and bone, so do onto him/her as you would have him/her do onto you.

Thank You! *Golden rule of ethics*

baby_123:



hmm, so you dont think you should help out at home. My friend . Am disappointed.

Ladies, do yourself a favor and get a domesticated loving man. Not a chauvinist or one that thinks someone's role is this and that.smh

I am a very understanding man though a chauvanist. My wife isn't a great cook at all but I eat her food with love that way regardless but where we will have a big fat problem is when you want to boss me around or question my authority. Babes the woman knows better I swear. I can tolerate any ill from a woman but to boss me or tell me what to do WALAHI NEVER EVER.

JallowBah: Mr...hardener.

Like I said; every marriage is different, but the rude attitude you got towards your wife is kinda..disturbing, in my eyes.
It seems like "It don`t matter if she don?t act the way I want her to act, cause if she do so, I can always just kick her out and find another woman". For me, that does not show love..

I love her more than she imagines, i'v had to have a little scuffle with my mom (who I love to death) because of her but she sure knows the boundaries

Truckpusher: boy you lied big time....we have more broken homes in the west compared to Nigeria....Nigerian families abroad breaks up mostly when the woman begins to enjoy her new found freedom of expression and sticks it to the man's face which makes the man to become abusive and resentful......what you think is freedom for women in the west is actually breaking up that society and I can assure you that in few years nobody will give a damn abt each other's feeling and welfare ....women are the real builder of homes and the man is to support with everything he has and ensure her security......for you folks that swallows everything sold by the west hook, line and sinker I say goodluck to your generations unborn....Nigeria might be bad, with corrupt govt and all vile and abominable things do happen here but I thank God there are still folks that can still hold their heads high and beat their chest because nothing will shake their sense of morality

There are more broken homes in the west because of their individualistic culture (among other things) and NOT because a loving husband chooses to help his appreciative wife around the house. By your flawed logic you are asserting that:

If a Nigerian man helps with chores, the home will be broken.

I'll give you a moment to process that...

....

....

....

Now tell me, if you are to think like a mature, rational adult, wouldn't you agree that this is just a pointless excuse borne from nothing but pure laziness, irrationality and a clear lack of the human trait of empathy (a feeling you should AT LEAST have for woman you claim to love even if you are a right bastid to everyone else)?
If a woman despises building the family with you to the point she starts "sticking it to your face" when she finally gets free, before getting all riled up, don't you think you oughta also pull back and analyse the situation objectively to be sure YOU are not also the cause of the development?

Marriage should be a joy. It can only be that way for her if you both help and work as a team. If she stays home then it's understandable , but if you are BOTH working, you should help her.
Even if you want to look at it traditionally, by her working, she is already helping your ungrateful azz!