I was wondering, what would it be like if marriage was not taken as seriously as it is in the world today? I was wondering what it would be like if people were not stigmatised for failing to get married. If there was no religious law making it mandatory for people to be married before they can have children, who would benefit more from such a situation and who would miss marriage more?
The way I see it, women would do better in such a scenario. They would have kids and take care of them without worrying about running up and down to cater for the welfare of a man as well as that of their children and they have kids that bear their family names.
Women also do not despise housework and so they would not have any problem with cooking or cleaning or doing any of the other chores that women usually take care of in the house after marriage because many men won't do them.
Regular erm *cough cough* intimate relations would also not be as much a problem for women as much as it is for men because women's libido is not as high as that of men.
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Anyway, I asked this question because it is generally believed that women benefit more from marriages and I just wanted to know how true that belief is.
What do you think? Who would be most badly affected if marriage wasn't a thing? Men or women?

Well...

May be this thread will help.
https://www.nairaland.com/1000285/benefit-more-marriage
may God help us all.

You know who will suffer more if marriages are allowed to run amok in our societies? ALL OF US! You know why? Most of us, including you, would have been a bunch of bastards with a lopsided parental upbringing. How much do you envy that kid brought up only by his/her mum? You see, it's true that marriage is first of all between a man and a woman, but it's also importantly about bringing up a balanced and socially balanced future generations. You could check it out, most street urchins that grow up to become armed robbers, suicide bombers, rapists, fraudsters, assassins, prostitutes and drug addicts came out of dysfunctional homes as you described.

Whoever think women benefit more from marriage is either daft or playing dumb.Speaking of benefits,what exactly do they benefit that the men don't benefit more from?I believe that men that think this way are those who never had any real woman in their lives.

I once asked my hubby this question and his response is this"The only set of women who feel that marriage is their salvation are those who are too lazy to work,A woman that can carter for herself definitely doesn't benefit any more than a man".

Marriage is beneficial to both sexes but the men really benefit more.Common,who doesn't want to come home to hot meals??stay by the side and comfort while she whines in pregnancy painswatch her body get ruined by births while u keep lying that she looks great??Imagine the struggles of getting the kids ready for school while fighting early morning sickness.She still works to assist you and must still submit to ur whims.She does the laundry manually with little or no assistance from u.You still expect sexual gratification when you come home not considering that she is probably exhausted.

I can go on and on on this.Apart from men who single handedly carter for their families,what do other men have to complain about??

Abeg God make me a man in my nextlife and thank you for giving me only sons.A woman's life is not beans,always at the receiving end.Most women won't be married if the society is not so obscessed with marriage and kids.People will just fall in love and enjoy their lives without the hassles of marriage.

Abeg am ranting,make I go chop before .............

^^^

... Ranting with a lot of sense in it. I feel you!

@byvan ...I feel you sis BUT you do know you can share those workload btw yourselves instead of you doing it all...Mo le wa para mi jo ( can't kill myself).

jidegirl12: @byvan ...I feel you sis BUT you do know you can share those workload btw yourselves instead of you doing it all...Mo le wa para mi jo ( can't kill myself).

My dear,how do you sit a man down to tell him you want to share chores,I mean a Naija man?Once a man is good,the chores won't be a problem because he won't complain if some are left undone.Most men are very lazy with house chores and that shouldn't cause a rift once the man is a "loving husband" to you.I do my best and leave the rest for another day,thank God he appreciates all my efforts without criticisms.

Of course, I will never sit mine down too and share chores knowing a how egoistic most of them are and rather pick my battles and use logic to pass my message across and he gets it cos I won't do it.

[CHocolaTE:
]I was wondering, what would it be like if marriage was not taken as seriously as it is in the world today? I was wondering what it would be like if people were not stigmatised for failing to get married. If there was no religious law making it mandatory for people to be married before they can have children, who would benefit more from such a situation and who would miss marriage more?
The way I see it, women would do better in such a scenario. They would have kids and take care of them without worrying about running up and down to cater for the welfare of a man as well as that of their children and they have kids that bear their family names.
Women also do not despise housework and so they would not have any problem with cooking or cleaning or doing any of the other chores that women usually take care of in the house after marriage because many men won't do them.
Regular erm *cough cough* intimate relations would also not be as much a problem for women as much as it is for men because women's libido is not as high as that of men.
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Anyway, I asked this question because it is generally believed that women benefit more from marriages and I just wanted to know how true that belief is.
What do you think? Who would be most badly affected if marriage wasn't a thing? Men or women?

Women benefit from marriage more thats why they long for it more.

Look at the number of single women in churches praying for husband vs the men doing the same

dayokanu:

Women benefit from marriage more thats why they long for it more.

Look at the number of single women in churches praying for husband vs the men doing the same

Lol

dayokanu:

Women benefit from marriage more thats why they long for it more.

Look at the number of single women in churches praying for husband vs the men doing the same

There is a statement about that from Byvan sensible 'rant'

''Most women won't be married if the society is not so obscessed with marriage and kids''

I want to add Religious beliefs to the list of why women long for marraige, the discrimination against single ladies is worst in religious gathering, even against those who have never been married o!

Shinatu:



There is a statement about that from Byvan sensible 'rant'

''Most women won't be married if the society is not so obscessed with marriage and kids''

I want to add Religious beliefs to the list of why women long for marraige, the discrimination against single ladies is worst in religious gathering, even against those who have never been married o!

True!

If all those sentimental BS are removed, who cares about marriage?


[size=5pt]I care anyway.[/size]

Shinatu: There is a statement about that from Byvan sensible 'rant'

''Most women won't be married if the society is not so obscessed with marriage and kids''

I want to add Religious beliefs to the list of why women long for marraige, the discrimination against single ladies is worst in religious gathering, even against those who have never been married o!

Even in non religious cultures women long for marriage more than men. In the West Men are comfortable being live in partners its the women who chorus the put a ring on it

Its women mostly who have the phenomenon of biological clock, late birth might bring deformed children etc. Marriage is an institution to protect women mostly

@Tgirl4real.

We still need marriages, I agree with Alore's post.


@dayokanu

I agree with the biological clock thing , I have a couple of friends who are currently depressed because
the biological clock is ticking and they cannot go against their religious belief and go get what they actually want, which is Children!

dayokanu:

Even in non religious cultures women long for marriage more than men. In the West Men are comfortable being live in partners its the women who chorus the put a ring on it

Its women mostly who have the phenomenon of biological clock, late birth might bring deformed children etc. Marriage is an institution to protect women mostly

Women want the fairy tale wedding and children; unfortunately for many, marriage is the baggage that comes along with these!

Shinatu: @dayokanu

I agree with the biological clock thing , I have a couple of friends who are currently depressed because
the biological clock is ticking and they cannot go against their religious belief and go get what they actually want, which is Children!

So we can both agree that women are the ones that benefit from marriage more. A lot of men that age wont even bother or just have kids outside wedlock and dont even look back

ileobatojo:

Women want the fairy tale wedding and children; unfortunately for many, marriage is the baggage that comes along with these!

Most men just want children and nothing more especially the baggage. The society everywhere measures men by his financial and career success

Human society without marriage and we will be living like wild animals.

dayokanu:

So we can both agree that women are the ones that benefit from marriage more. A lot of men that age wont even bother or just have kids outside wedlock and dont even look back

Women can also have a child outside wedlock, so I don't see how this your point prooves that women benefit more.
Men benefit more because if they choose have a kid outside wedlock, they have to pay for it one way or another. Either they pay a surrogate mother or buy all the buyables for whichever of their girlfriends they decide to have the kid with.
For women, all that is required is someone to sleep with.

@byvan, I too gbadun your first post.
You know book.

byvan:
My dear,how do you sit a man down to tell him you want to share chores,I mean a Naija man?Once a man is good,the chores won't be a problem because he won't complain if some are left undone.Most men are very lazy with house chores and that shouldn't cause a rift once the man is a "loving husband" to you.I do my best and leave the rest for another day,thank God he appreciates all my efforts without criticisms.

jidegirl12: Of course, I will never sit mine down too and share chores knowing a how egoistic most of them are and rather pick my battles and use logic to pass my message across and he gets it cos I won't do it.

I feel so sorry for African women sometimes. Imagine having to sit a man down to tell him that he is supposed to help with housework.
Imagine!
A house that he lives in o!
You have to sit him down to tell him that he is supposed to help with work in the house.

[CHocolaTE:
]

I feel so sorry for African women sometimes. Imagine having to sit a man down to tell him that he is supposed to help with housework.
Imagine!
A house that he lives in o!
You have to sit him down to tell him that he is supposed to help with work in the house.

These men living on their own would probably leave the house the way it is

At least they were living somehow before they got married

dayokanu:

These men living on their own would probably leave the house the way it is

At least they were living somehow before they got married

Hehehe. 'Somehow'
So on their own they live 'somehow' but after marriage they start enjoying well cooked meals and the services of a live-in cleaner and care-taker?
Even more reason why men benefit more.

[CHocolaTE:
]
Hehehe. 'Somehow'
So on their own they live 'somehow' but after marriage they start enjoying well cooked meals and the services of a live-in cleaner and care-taker?
Even more reason why men benefit more.

The guy wont care whatever he gets A guys life is so simple and he has very little needs from Life

His needs are from his career and finances

[CHocolaTE:
]

Hehehe. 'Somehow'
So on their own they live 'somehow' but after marriage they start enjoying well cooked meals and the services of a live-in cleaner and care-taker?
Even more reason why men benefit more.

And that's what you call a knock out!!

@ dayokanu, sincerity pays, even, if its just this once.
We all know and its very obvious that men benefit more in marriages than women.
Consider d following and be sincere.....
1st, in whose name do u just address married women?is it not in their hubby name, dont they have their maiden name,or have u seen men changing his surname to his wife's maiden name? One benefit for getting married,
2ndly, who is acclaimed d head in d marriage, even when its d woman that is d sole provider in d house, and d man has nothing to offer, except climbing d horse, can she be reffered to as d head? Another honour as a married man.
3rdly, who bring forth d children and create time 4 them most, definately women,and in whose name are the children addressed, even when some men do not have anything good to offer d children? Definately men. Another honour as a married man.
4thly, who is d cook at home, how many times have you seen women coming back from work, only for her hubby to have prepared and dished his wife's food on d table, instead, d reverse is always d case, its d wife that will come back from work and rush to d kitchen to prepare food for d family after d stress at work, and even, in some cases, d women's work may even be more stressful than that of d man, and at d end of d day still have to feed d man on d bed with another type of food that majority of men cant do without. Another benefit/honour as a married man.

D list can go on and on, but let me stop here, i just want u to do something, be sincere wth dis question. Thanks.
May God help us all.

We can also ask who desires marriage more? Obviously women.

In the world Men are measured by their success business and financially, Women care largely more about their looks.

Knowing that women depreciate in the looks department after age 40, Women desire to get hitched before they start declining

Look on the average Women desire marriage more than men. You would see a lot of guys who are getting older and not even thinking of marriage

But a woman at a certain age, Marriage is the only thing on her mind. Check on NL, How many women have come to open I need a husband thread vs Men who have done same.

Go to churches, All the "You must get married night" are filled with women.

Some women have money, but in majority of relationships the man is the main earner. Thats why the term bread winner is usually associated with men

Only a woman would bring nothing to a marriage and expect to leave with million belonging to the man

only a woman would argue she expects to be compensated for doing what she longed for all her life(having a child).

Only a woman would have little qualification and expect to live a big life.

Ask most guys that how can you drive a BMW, they would say if I make money,

While some womens answer would be if I marry a rich guy

In most cases women marry up and get many benefits from the union

In typical African marriages, the man goes to his village after getting success and marries a small girl whom he upgrades

E.g Without marriage would Shade Okoya have been able to afford a home in Ikoyi

greatgod2012:
@ dayokanu, sincerity pays, even, if its just this once.

Don't mind him. He knows that he is just arguing blindly, he just doesn't want to give up.

1st, in whose name do u just address married women?is it not in their hubby name, dont they have their maiden name,or have u seen men changing his surname to his wife's maiden name? One benefit for getting married,
May God help us all.

Women bearing husbands' names was something that was done initially because women were regarded as the property of men and because women were not allowed back then to have identities that were separate from that of whichever man they lived with. That was how bearing of husband's names started, it is not even in the Bible. But let me not derail.

dayokanu: We can also ask who desires marriage more? Obviously women.

Please this thread is not about who desires marriage more. It is about WHO BENEFITS FROM MARRIAGE MORE. Did you not read the first post? Of course women desire marriage more, largely because of the pressure put on them by society to get married so that was why I added in the first post that in the absence of this pressure and subsequent decline or elimination of marriages, who is going to lose more?
You know very well that men will lose more if there were more marriages. Stop lying to yourself.

Why all these debates? Stay single forever if you don't want to get married

jmoore: Why all these debates? Stay single forever if you don't want to get married

U can say that again ojare.

jmoore: Why all these debates? Stay single forever if you don't want to get married

I never mentioned anything about not wanting to get married. Why the anger?
Because I said men benefit more from marriages?
Nairaland is a public forum where people with varying ideas and tastes visit. You are sure to find topics that you will not like as well as topics that you will like on this site. It is left to you to avoid whatever topic displeases you instead of making unrelated comments in them.