davidylan: This thread is an agglomeration of people who are simply here by accident of birth. If anyone of us were to be unfortunate to have been born dirt poor in nigeria i wonder if your tone here would be different. People beg in nigeria simply because it is a country where more than 70% live on less than $1 a day... that is a country where more than 75% are living in sheer poverty.

Sir, if Nigeria is terribly poor what then will u say abt countries like Eritrea, Ethiopia, Uganda, Burkina Faso, Mali, Buruundi, etc but they don't behave like us? Nigerians are too very materialistic so people will rather spend on luxuries to impresse than on things that can yield money. Maybe you don't know how much a Brazilian weave costs (abt N30k or more) yet school girls in Nigeria change it like toothpick. How about Black Berries? does a very poor person who cant eat as u described need a N50k blackberry to communicate when N50k put in stock 2day may make her a millionaire at 40yrs? A 19 yrs old girl in USA is working at McDonald's, etc helping parents to pay rent. But send a 19yrs old girl in Nig goods to sell, she will embezzle ur moni and become ur enemy. It's our lifestyle that forces us into poverty. God gave Nigeria everything.

Woged2005:

Sir, if Nigeria is terribly poor what then will u say abt countries like Eritrea, Ethiopia, Uganda, Burkina Faso, Mali, Buruundi, etc but they don't behave like us? Nigerians are too very materialistic so people will rather spend on luxuries to impresse than on things that can yield money. Maybe you don't know how much a Brazilian weave costs (abt N30k or more) yet school girls in Nigeria change it like toothpick. How about Black Berries? does a very poor person who cant eat as u described need a N50k blackberry to communicate when N50k put in stock 2day may make her a millionaire at 40yrs? A 19 yrs old girl in USA is working at McDonald's, etc helping parents to pay rent. But send a 19yrs old girl in Nig goods to sell, she will embezzle ur moni and become ur enemy. It's our lifestyle that forces us into poverty. God gave Nigeria everything.

Do you really know how they behave in those countries

However we have all agreed contentment is KEY and also learning to say NO in a respectful rather than condescending manner

I respect the whites for that.
I once went to watch a movie with my 2 nieces and my wife(Tangled) It came to like 84 gbp with pop corn and see the girl dey calculate
Uncle dont bother that we can buy it on dvd and watch it at home
Unlike her 12 year old counterpart who does not even give a hoot on the cost of the movie not to talk of being concerned


I digress.. Contentment and Discipline ... ish

Bottom line still is how you train your child...
A lot of Nigerians beg because they are lazy and see begging as an easy way out not because they are needy.Its so easy to play on people's emotions and take advantage of it.
Had a friend whose parent's owned a beer palour.She used to stay in the shop on weekends or when free.I went to see her there sometime.She had graduated and awaiting service.
She told each and every man that came in there to drink a tale of how she had not had anything to eat all day and they each gave her "something".I spent about an hour in there and she made about N3000 in my presence!!
She told me that's why she usually came home on weekend while in school.Her parents didn't mind too.As long as the drinks were being paid for and the men were silly enough to believe her stories,all is well!
People like this my friend are every where these days and its not something they started doing suddenly.It must have been a part of them from time and it wasn't discouraged by those around them.
..so I still think its a function of the right upbringing with emphasis on contentedness like everyone else has said.

Woged2005:

Sir, if Nigeria is terribly poor what then will u say abt countries like Eritrea, Ethiopia, Uganda, Burkina Faso, Mali, Buruundi, etc but they don't behave like us? Nigerians are too very materialistic so people will rather spend on luxuries to impresse than on things that can yield money. Maybe you don't know how much a Brazilian weave costs (abt N30k or more) yet school girls in Nigeria change it like toothpick. How about Black Berries? does a very poor person who cant eat as u described need a N50k blackberry to communicate when N50k put in stock 2day may make her a millionaire at 40yrs? A 19 yrs old girl in USA is working at McDonald's, etc helping parents to pay rent. But send a 19yrs old girl in Nig goods to sell, she will embezzle ur moni and become ur enemy. It's our lifestyle that forces us into poverty. God gave Nigeria everything.

hmm and how do you know they dont "behave like us"? Dont they wear brazilian wigs too or is that restricted to nigerians only? There is nothing inherently wrong with the nigerian culture... what we have are people who travel abroad then acquire a false sense of superiority over those who have not yet made it to the airport.

Your examples above are not unique to nigerians. I see plenty of American girls do the same... take a trip to NYC or LA... so many living on credit cards just to keep up with the Joneses.

Like Biolabee said above... teach your kids contentment. If you cannot afford to help those from naija who beg you, just say no and leave it there. Coming online to beat them down and run down the entire country because of your warped idea of a few is not the way to go. I have no problem with helping... but many of us do so in such a condescending manner and yet act surprised when those we help arent falling over themselves to show their gratefulness.

Begi begi things . Honestly, I can never give an able bodied young man, woman or child anything. I can only buy food. Even the disabled sef. The only people I can give are the really elderly or small change if someone is stranded. And I would rather go and purchase the transport by myself. A fool and his money soon part is a wise saying. Money is not easy to make, so I rarely give cash.

@davidlan and biolabee........there is difference btwn pple who actually are in need and pple who try to fool you by making unnecessary beggings.take for instance, a friend of mine told me that im d one to buy d shoe and bag she would use for her wedding for her, ok, no problem, when i was about to go and buy it for her, i called her along, so that she would choose her choice, she asked me, d worth of shoe i wanted to buy for her, i said....btwn #10k and #12k, she said, lailai, if i cant buy her a shoe that worth #50k, i should forget about it, when me sef used #5k shoe for my wedding....can you imagine?
Another example,my hubby usually tell me of one of his colleague, who collect the same salary like him, he and my hubby earn d same amount monthly, but nobody will ever know when he goes to d bank for his salary, and anytime he overhear anyone saying he is going to bank, or he has just come back from bank, he will be hailing them and begging for money....."baba, e ba mi wa nkan nbe, ore, saye fawa boys now, ore, i want to see you, i need some amount, just help me get something, ore, im hungry, afterall you just collect salary.....etc"
d day my hubby stood up to him and said.....but we collect the same salary, was d day he started seeing him as enemy......what am i saying, contentment is d key, whatever one is earning, one should be contented with it, unless ofcourse, its highly necessary to seek for assistance, when it seems unbearable.
For record purpose, im in Nigeria, we aint rich, but we are contented, apart from when i was in university, when i still go to my brothers for assistance, i've never opened my mouth to ask anyone for money or gift, and when you do a favor for me, i make sure i reciprocate within a short period....that is self esteem, nobody can see me coming afar, and say when she gets here, tell her im not around.......no, that has become an embarrasment, the way you carry yourself is d way pple will carry you.
There was a time(when i was single) i was teaching in a private school and collecting #4500, nobody believed me, because, i never complained to anyone, i plan myself on that amount and still had savings. So, its true, things are hard in Nigeria, but that does not mean one should bury his/her self esteem.....contentment is d key........i believe that no matter how poor i am, i will still be better than some.
May God help us all.

chaircover:
most kids learn by watching you their parents. If you dont beg or keep on asking for favours from people all the time and you keep on drumming it into them the importance of hard work and being self sufficient, then they will get into the habit of being content with what they have no matter how little.

True talk

Lock them inside the room 24/7,thats all. *winks*

chaircover:

Thats easy!!! most kids learn by watching you their parents. If you dont beg or keep on asking for favours from people all the time and you keep on drumming it into them the importance of hard work and being self sufficient, then they will get into the habit of being content with what they have no matter how little.

here is a video, to illustrate that Children truly 'see'..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3WioZcjbys

Woged2005: Annoying Begging Culture In Nigeria! How Can One Raise Kids Who Don't Beg?

Please fellow Nigerians how can one raise her kids to avoid this annoying needy, begging culture in Nigeria? I don't know why some people have jobs in Nigeria but cannot afford to renew their rents at the end of the year without help. They can't go to hospital unless you give them money. Some of our ladies greet you with "I hope you have something for me?". Some working ladies are quiting stable relationships simply because the man doesn't 'help' them (meaning he doesn't give them money). What happens to their salary? The grown men 'flash' you with their phone to call back so you'll pay the bill to hear them talk about their problems. 80% of the sermons in the church is actually begging for money sweet-coated under titles like: "breakthrough giving', 'Tithes', 'Sowing seeds', 'invest in your pastor', 'pastor appreciation', etc.

The most annoying are relatives and friends who cut communication with you because you don't send them money & gifts. What do they send to friends and relatives abroad? Afterall Nigeria has Egusi, dried fish, crayfish, ogbono, traditional clothes, beeds, etc that cost a fortune abroad. why can't they send them to friends abroad as gifts unless you give them money to do so?

Why do our people appear too needy and want to be taken care of? I really want to know how to raise kids who don't beg but are self-reliant. The needy culture is very unhealthy.

Post of the week.

Don't worry, your child/children would not have the begging trait - since you apparently do not. Some behaviours are not learnt; they are genetic.

I believe the beggers the OP wants us to discuss are really not the kids but adults that beg to take adavantage of people.
These group of beggers are all over the place and the rate is alarming.
Friends, Family, colleagues etc.
I once told a close pal that i could barely go through a day without meeting someone that will beg in one form or the other.

When I started paying attention, I realised majority just live way above their means.

A friend that is married with kids but still keeps two girlfriends n actually rented an apartment for one, he is always begging.
A cousin in school in Lag that is always broke, the day I entered her apartment, I could not believe how tastefully furnished it was, and she lives n flat. I stopped giving her money n now uncle is a wicked person.
I ve people that buy expensive stuffs (phones,clothes etc )and they beg u to help pay.
The list is endless.

Yes, if u ve, and u are absolutely sure the begger is truly in need, pls give. Sadly, a lot of beggers in Nigeria are just taking advantage of people.

greatgod2012: Yes oo madam CC, always correct, just yesterday, my sister's kids came to play with my kids, and along d line, one of them was begging for biscuits from one of my kids, and d next thing i overheard my first kid telling him is...."dont you have self-esteem, why would you be begging for something, are you a policeman?"
and d other kid answered him....." what is soo special there, everyone begs for one thing or d other" and my kids replied....."noooooooo, its a lie, i have never begged for anything and i've never seen any of my parent begging for anything from anyone, so, its not everyone that begs"..........blah, blah, blah.....
so, op, d basis of my story is that, it lies with d parent, whatever you train your kid with is what he will grow up to be, ......."train a child d way he shall go and when hes old, he will not depart from it"
Anyone that begs cant possibly have that self-esteem and cant attract respect from pple, so, its our duty to teach our children self-esteem, its very important, lets always teach them to be self-dependent and self reliance rather than thinking that someone will help them to solve their problems.
May God help us all.

The policeman part got me criouxly loooling. Choi, our police ofizas don sufa sotey smal pikin dey yab dem...

Self independence stops one from begging.Teach them to stand on their own two feet,they wont beg.Not even for their lives.

Aman that begs is a man on his knees,a man that is fallen.

Another better way,is ensuring you provide for your kids. If you don't provide for your kids, then there is trouble.Parents should learn to take care of their kids,they are your responsibility. If u don't take care of them by providing the basic amenities, then what do u expect them to do?

The obvious thing that i have noticed is that some people have conditioned their life to be a perpetual beggar whether they have or don't while others have learnt to do with what they have no matter the situation.I grew up in quite a poor background and i learnt early enough to do with what i have without recourse to anybody else.in school due to my self sufficiency some thought that i came from a wealthy family always coming to me to beg for one thing or the other even those from a very wealthy family which i sometimes find annoying because i know that their begging is just because of indiscipline .Begging in nigeria context is most times because of indiscipline.Train your Kids to be self sufficient and disciplined .Nobody should relate Nigerian begging culture to issue of people who are truly handicapped sometimes and really needed help.They are 2 extreme situations

Firs of all, u most be rich enough to spoil ur kids with anything they want. Secondly build up a notion dat the are born givers by engaging them in charity. Thirdly let them know u don't ever want dem to beg.

.

Well...my parents thought me and my siblings to be content with what we had whether small or big....and i think that has kept me from begging for anything of any sort. If i need anything....i'd go to them, knowing that they'd give it to me as long as they have the money to get it. I've never begged for anything in my life so far....and i just can't! I'd rather trek a long distance than beg anyone for transport money and i can't accept things from people, no matter how close you are to me except you belong to my family (both nuclear and extended), even if i'm at an event and food is being shared or something, and it doesn't get to me...i wouldn't mind, i wouldn't call you "hey, you've not given me food o" i'd rather remain hungry than do that....it's not pride, it's just who i am! My point is:
1) Teach your kids to be content with the little they have
2) Try as much as possible to provide for their needs
3) Teach your kids how to behave in public

greatgod2012: Yes oo madam CC, always correct, just yesterday, my sister's kids came to play with my kids, and along d line, one of them was begging for biscuits from one of my kids, and d next thing i overheard my first kid telling him is...."dont you have self-esteem, why would you be begging for something, are you a policeman?"
and d other kid answered him....." what is soo special there, everyone begs for one thing or d other" and my kids replied....."noooooooo, its a lie, i have never begged for anything and i've never seen any of my parent begging for anything from anyone, so, its not everyone that begs"..........blah, blah, blah.....
so, op, d basis of my story is that, it lies with d parent, whatever you train your kid with is what he will grow up to be, ......."train a child d way he shall go and when hes old, he will not depart from it"
Anyone that begs cant possibly have that self-esteem and cant attract respect from pple, so, its our duty to teach our children self-esteem, its very important, lets always teach them to be self-dependent and self reliance rather than thinking that someone will help them to solve their problems.
May God help us all.

dis hw u train ur kids to b spoilt brat instead of correcting him to share wit her cousins u r talkin abt hw dey learn frm u not begging.is it a crime to beg or ask after d bible says ask and it shall b given to u. As 4 op begging or asking does not bring abt low self esteem it is how u go abt doin it.so train ur kids to ask wen necessary cos no man is an island.point of correction no human is 100 percent self sufficient .

damiso:

True that sha. Some people beg cos they just think they can.As you said too that is the one that annoys me the MOST.And then in the same begging sentence say stuff like"UK sha,God forbid i can never live here with you people you are trying.God forbid.Naija is the place to make money"Shoooo After you just said can i have your bag?

.

No be small thing o my sister. Somebody is just calling you dindirin for sweating it out in the UK to make ends meet and he/she's asking for things you bought from your sweat in the same sentence.

Some people back home who with korokoro eyes like this produced 7 kids and are now struggling to pay school fees back home want you (who cut your coat according to your cloth) and have 2 or 3 kids and put full STOP to come help them pay the fees.

When I hear that they have another baby I wonder is there no contraceptive in that country? BUT you dare not advice them to stop.
Some turn your enemy just because you don't have money to spray around. The whole thing is frustrating.
We need to change that culture fast. People need to be self-reliant and not "eye" another person's money.

Isn't prayer begging?What does it teach kids?

u are obviously surrounded by beggars.....

i cant remember the last time any of my friends or family members called to beg me for anything, and i must confess they only call to discuss business opportunities with me.

@op, quit messing around with beggars

NIGERIANS are not beggars, they dont sit at home depending on the government to feed them through welfare packages, they are hard working set of people. If they dont call u again, its not because u did not give them money, its because u are unreasonable, just like your post.

Gbam!

damiso:

Oga i will never ever SNEER at people in NEED.NEVER.Fortunately or unfortunately i come from a family that went through both having and not having.Heck my dad got called olowo atijo(rich before before) my some people who were meant to be friends.So as I keep saying no one so far on this thread has said dont give to people who are in need.

The issue is begging people for things that are non essential.I am not one of those people who believe they are better than somebody cos they live abroad.My friends are even always joking that my jokes about how they are enjoying would make anyone hate living abroad ;DSome even say eeeya pele i simply dont know how ur coping without permanent live in domestic help.

In short if it is to beg i should be begging some of my husband relatives that come from.Nigeria cos some shops they enter hen i neva haff the liver if i enter na for 99% off sales .But i wont beg them to buy me Birkin bag cos if i dony carry birkin or mulberry or Ferragamo bag i wont die.

try and read d post ur view is different frm op. ur views r acceptable

davidylan:

hmm and how do you know they dont "behave like us"? Dont they wear brazilian wigs too or is that restricted to nigerians only? There is nothing inherently wrong with the nigerian culture... what we have are people who travel abroad then acquire a false sense of superiority over those who have not yet made it to the airport.

Your examples above are not unique to nigerians. I see plenty of American girls do the same... take a trip to NYC or LA... so many living on credit cards just to keep up with the Joneses.

Like Biolabee said above... teach your kids contentment. If you cannot afford to help those from naija who beg you, just say no and leave it there. Coming online to beat them down and run down the entire country because of your warped idea of a few is not the way to go. I have no problem with helping... but many of us do so in such a condescending manner and yet act surprised when those we help arent falling over themselves to show their gratefulness.

i like ur post. To poster their is joy in giving. It is not ur position to start defining want and need cos wat u feel is a want might mean a need to d other person so if u can give if u can't I don't have. It is very simple

searchcorp: u are obviously surrounded by beggars.....

i cant remember the last time any of my friends or family members called to beg me for anything, and i must confess they only call to discuss business opportunities with me.

@op, quit messing around with beggars

NIGERIANS are not beggars, they dont sit at home depending on the government to feed them through welfare packages, they are hard working set of people. If they dont call u again, its not because u did not give them money, its because u are unreasonable, just like your post.

Gbam!

bros they don't call her because she has attitude problem 4 u to post dis rubbish shows hw u will b responding wen they call.

what about condirion of poverty pls lets pray to god to provide for everyone thanks

loswhite: dis hw u train ur kids to b spoilt brat instead of correcting him to share wit her cousins u r talkin abt hw dey learn frm u not begging.is it a crime to beg or ask after d bible says ask and it shall b given to u. As 4 op begging or asking does not bring abt low self esteem it is how u go abt doin it.so train ur kids to ask wen necessary cos no man is an island.point of correction no human is 100 percent self sufficient .

helloooooo, have you forgotten that its kids im talking about here?

@ op get more perspective abt life itself d only tin constant in life is changes. Lets say there is a child dat comes frm a wealthy home and sum how he lost his dad so he is trying to adjust but he is use to wearing 3000 naira jean. So oneday he ask his uncle for money to buy jean and uncle said hw can u wear a 3000 naira jean wen there is okrika jean dat u can buy 4 200 naira but ur uncles children r wearing d one of 3000 o. I will like to knw hw u will feel @ dat point in time. For me I will b happy if my uncle js say I don't have moni than 4 him to start defining wat shud b my need and want and also wat I shud b contended wit. Life is complex don't start judging ppl b4 u help js help if can and politely say knw if u can't

loswhite: bros they don't call her because she has attitude problem 4 u to post dis rubbish shows hw u will b responding wen they call.

You see, there are different classes of people in Nigeria, its not my fault if the op is surrounded by people who beg (whichever class they belong to), me and my friends in Nigeria are hardworking set of people, as a matter of fact, i have invited white friends i meet abroad in conferences to come over and have some fun in nigeria, i am an ibo boy and i have relatives who didnt go to school, they all have businesses they do, they dont go around begging people for money.

We are a people of great self worth! i sincerely dont understand what the op is saying.... Plus, if the op is smart enough then she doesnt need nairalanders to teach her how to raise her kids. (well, maybe her kids are already showing beggarly symptoms)

greatgod2012:


helloooooo, have you forgotten that its kids im talking about here?

sorry 4 using d word spoil brat. I was adding ur point wit op post together so my point was there is noting wrong with teaching ur kids to b contended and discipline I support dat and also they should respond politely to other kids that ask or beg them 4 sumtin not d way ur kid responded dats wat I was trying to point out.

searchcorp:

You see, there are different classes of people in Nigeria, its not my fault if the op is surrounded by people who beg (whichever class they belong to), me and my friends in Nigeria are hardworking set of people, as a matter of fact, i have invited white friends i meet abroad in conferences to come over and have some fun in nigeria, i am an ibo boy and i have relatives who didnt go to school, they all have businesses they do, they dont go around begging people for money.

We are a people of great self worth! i sincerely dont understand what the op is saying.... Plus, if the op is smart enough then she doesnt need nairalanders to teach her how to raise her kids. (well, maybe her kids are already showing beggarly symptoms)

totally agree wit u