Woged2005:

Sir, if Nigeria is terribly poor what then will u say abt countries like Eritrea, Ethiopia, Uganda, Burkina Faso, Mali, Buruundi, etc but they don't behave like us?

Lakayana: You sound like a beggar with that mentality. You are only poor when you believe you are. God forbid my Nigeria can never be poor.

Lakayana: But when you are hungry like we are in 9ja when your next door neighbour or even you does not know were the next plate of food is coming from you will not waste food like it is done the white man's land.

Lakayana: how can he say in a crazy country like 9ja with population a of about one hundred and seventy million only 18 million is sick mentally.

debrief08: There is a difference between sharing and begging.
I encourage my son to share oh and also to accept shared items from friends.
One of his best friends lives in an orphanage and he goes for play dates and sleep overs. Now they tell me my son eats a lot there while at home he struggles to eat and finish his meal but when he goes to see his friend he eats and asks for more am sure because he sees other kids eating.
Let us be honest as mothers kids prefer to eat out than eat at home, you can give them swiss chocolate but it is the 10naira sweet their friends eat that will sweet them pass.
I agree that the begging and expectation factor here can be something else but I also see people in so much lack all around while we wind up our windows so we wouldn't deal with the rot in our society.
I understand the greed people talk about and I actually prefer to give when you don't ask me like the cashiers in shops and attendants at parking lots, but I try to give and I am not to proud to receive.
We are all in this boat together and we have to open our minds, life is beyond us and our families, if this country sinks we sink together.
Apart from picking local charities to support we also try to support kids in schools and my husband has a weak spot for widows even though some of them can lie sha. But along the way we learn how to screen and smoke out the lies.
He has mentored a lot of them in growing their small businesses.

Let's look beyond the greedy ones and identify the real people in need and see how we can help.
We are not rich, we barely manage sometimes but we deny ourselves some luxuries our "mates" have so we can share with others.
I am happy I married someone who feels strongly as I do about sharing.
Truth is sometimes I wonder how we get so comfortable riding the worlds flashiest cars and gadgets in the midst of so much lack in our society.
We tell ourselves we have earned it and so should enjoy these things but I always remember the words of God "whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren you do to me"
And "He who gives to the Poor lends to the Lord"
I have watched so many people die and at that moment, their cars and jewleries and all the things we seem so crazy about are a distant memory.
The gap between the rich and dirt poor is scandalous and we term success as money, cars, phones and houses, yet some go to bed hungry and barely have clothes to cover their unclothedness in the same society where private jets are now the latest gadgets

yuzedo:
ƪoƪ! That is a babanla inaccuracy!
I was in Ethiopia in December, I exaggerate not when I say I got BEGGED the life out of by EVERYONE I came in contact with! I got begged for chewing gum at Duty free (the rascally girl seized my entire pack until I pointed out I didn't give her the whole thing. She's like oh, ok..Decency didn't dictate she pick a stick, she took four! As if gum is the antidote to famine!).. Everyone at the hotel begged me. Girls, porters.. Oh my God! Departing, the airport, same thing.. Girls begging for money, I'm like no. Ok, buy me chocolate, I'm like wtf?! Can't you just allow me shop in peace dammit?!
... Sigh! Omo, we try for naija abeg! At least we have small pride & we beg with sense. That Ethiopian experience was so traumatic!

debrief08: There is a difference between sharing and begging.
I encourage my son to share oh and also to accept shared items from friends.
One of his best friends lives in an orphanage and he goes for play dates and sleep overs. Now they tell me my son eats a lot there while at home he struggles to eat and finish his meal but when he goes to see his friend he eats and asks for more am sure because he sees other kids eating.
Let us be honest as mothers kids prefer to eat out than eat at home, you can give them swiss chocolate but it is the 10naira sweet their friends eat that will sweet them pass.
I agree that the begging and expectation factor here can be something else but I also see people in so much lack all around while we wind up our windows so we wouldn't deal with the rot in our society.
I understand the greed people talk about and I actually prefer to give when you don't ask me like the cashiers in shops and attendants at parking lots, but I try to give and I am not to proud to receive.
We are all in this boat together and we have to open our minds, life is beyond us and our families, if this country sinks we sink together.
Apart from picking local charities to support we also try to support kids in schools and my husband has a weak spot for widows even though some of them can lie sha. But along the way we learn how to screen and smoke out the lies.
He has mentored a lot of them in growing their small businesses.

Let's look beyond the greedy ones and identify the real people in need and see how we can help.
We are not rich, we barely manage sometimes but we deny ourselves some luxuries our "mates" have so we can share with others.
I am happy I married someone who feels strongly as I do about sharing.
Truth is sometimes I wonder how we get so comfortable riding the worlds flashiest cars and gadgets in the midst of so much lack in our society.
We tell ourselves we have earned it and so should enjoy these things but I always remember the words of God "whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren you do to me"
And "He who gives to the Poor lends to the Lord"
I have watched so many people die and at that moment, their cars and jewleries and all the things we seem so crazy about are a distant memory.
The gap between the rich and dirt poor is scandalous and we term success as money, cars, phones and houses, yet some go to bed hungry and barely have clothes to cover their unclothedness in the same society where private jets are now the latest gadgets

davidylan:

hahahahahaha nigerians just make claims without thinking most times.

greatgod2012: Yes oo madam CC, always correct, just yesterday, my sister's kids came to play with my kids, and along d line, one of them was begging for biscuits from one of my kids, and d next thing i overheard my first kid telling him is...."dont you have self-esteem, why would you be begging for something, are you a policeman?"
and d other kid answered him....." what is soo special there, everyone begs for one thing or d other" and my kids replied....."noooooooo, its a lie, i have never begged for anything and i've never seen any of my parent begging for anything from anyone, so, its not everyone that begs"..........blah, blah, blah.....
so, op, d basis of my story is that, it lies with d parent, whatever you train your kid with is what he will grow up to be, ......."train a child d way he shall go and when hes old, he will not depart from it"
Anyone that begs cant possibly have that self-esteem and cant attract respect from pple, so, its our duty to teach our children self-esteem, its very important, lets always teach them to be self-dependent and self reliance rather than thinking that someone will help them to solve their problems.
May God help us all.

tpia@:



your sanity is in question.

did you type these:

Lakayana: who's sanity are we talking about is it yours that is in love with me and stalking me about? The beggar that you are. Kiss kiss my poor crazy friend.

ifyalways: @Topic,If you don't show off,live like you own the world,no one would beg-beg you unnecessarily. This is just for those saying their fbk,bbm,and all social sites friends bug them.Keyword is unnecessarily eg asking for BB,weave-on,etc.If you go on social networks to pose you are encouraging and attracting beggars.IMO

Kids would always be kids and won't stop wanting a piece of what their mates have even when they have something bigger and better.I don't know how anyone would talk about self-esteem for a lad of 3 years who just want a piece biscuit from his playmate

In one thread,we agreed its OK as mothers to go down the road to ask our neighbors for oil,salt,crayfish ati iru and today,we are all self sufficient islanders.Not surprised,na nld be dis .

I just give my boys what they need,tell them to ask me or their teacher/nanny if they want any other thing and to share with their mates.Shikena.I'll rather have kids that asked/begged than one who steal because he is too proud to ask

We should watch it,lest we raise non-compassionate kids all in the name of self esteem bla bla.Beggars have always been here and would always be here.

if u think u have 2day and will never seek for help,u don't know 2moro

chaircover:

Thats easy!!! most kids learn by watching you their parents. If you dont beg or keep on asking for favours from people all the time and you keep on drumming it into them the importance of hard work and being self sufficient, then they will get into the habit of being content with what they have no matter how little.

chaircover:

Thats easy!!! most kids learn by watching you their parents. If you dont beg or keep on asking for favours from people all the time and you keep on drumming it into them the importance of hard work and being self sufficient, then they will get into the habit of being content with what they have no matter how little.

Piro4rl: THIS IS REALLY INFORMATIVE.

jasmine21:
I tell u! And very educative too. I've learnt a lot frm dis thread and even understood y I'm so self sufficient. My parents never begged frm anybody and always provided my siblings n I wot we needed n sometimes wanted. That's y I never understand y some pple who r able bodied beg? Any way that's life 4 u.

davidylan:

Its hard to understand since you grew up with parents who could afford your needs AND wants. There are some whose parents cannot afford even their basic needs due to no fault of theirs. There are able-bodied people who are just not as lucky... try to lend a helping hand where you can. As a student in college, i had friends who could not afford anything and we would share whatever little i had. By the end of the week we would all be broke but it was a fun experience. till today (over 8 yrs since we graduated), many of them still search me out to say thank you for the time when i was willing to share with them in their time of need. I dont consider it a huge deal but it is good to know that when others needed help, i was able to do the best i could. You never know who is blessing you in their prayers for that congo of garri you gave them 10 yrs ago.

Today, those same people i could have called "beggars" are doing very well. Even the good book says we should be kind one to another. If you cant afford to give, say so politely and move on. Things like this are not worth starting a thread over...

wy2000:

I disagree with you, begging is a mental state and not determined by how rich or poor you are. My grandfather was soo broke he had only one "church" clothe for about 3 months, but he never begged and will not allow his kids to. He proudly said he achieved everything he did with his sweat and God.

davidylan:

The irony is that even Jesus Christ in the bible had to ask others for food and shelter on occasion. this "i am an island to myself" mentality is even more dangerous than "begging". I will train my kids to be contented with what they have... but i will also train them to remember that no condition is permanent and whenever it lies in your power to help someone less fortunate, do not hesitate to do so with all joy. There are some who "beg" out of greed, but the vast majority do so because they do have a genuine need.

I hope one day many of you "i can never beg" disciples do not get into life and death situations where you need the help of others. Hopefully they wont use your own "principles" to deny you critical help in your own time of need.

davidylan:

The irony is that even Jesus Christ in the bible had to ask others for food and shelter on occasion. this "i am an island to myself" mentality is even more dangerous than "begging". I will train my kids to be contented with what they have... but i will also train them to remember that no condition is permanent and whenever it lies in your power to help someone less fortunate, do not hesitate to do so with all joy. There are some who "beg" out of greed, but the vast majority do so because they do have a genuine need.

I hope one day many of you "i can never beg" disciples do not get into life and death situations where you need the help of others. Hopefully they wont use your own "principles" to deny you critical help in your own time of need.

wy2000:

The irony also is that the bible discourages begging. If we all read where the bible said that if better to be the giver than the receiver, we will beg less.

Begging should be the last resort. And used sparingly, mostly is life threatening situations.

If we all train our kids not to beg, it makes begging rare so that only the really needy will do it.

The OP is not saying that she wants to teach her kids not to give, but NOT to beg. I gave myself as an example of being trained not to beg. My parents taught me to give, in fact, I give so much I am now being warned by my relations that am being taking advantage of.
Even at that, I don't beg, and still find it hard to ask for help, even when I need it. EG at work!

I make a distinction between begging and asking for help. Help is part of humanity, and is one I won't decline.

tagging someone a "beggar" just because they requested something from you, is downright mean spirited. Says more about you than the person you're insulting.

learn to say no if you dont agree with a demand, without demeaning the asker. Some have a genuine need, why generalize and attack personas without distinguishing between a need and a want.