This girl claims to love me but she is changing. I dont really blame her because i am far from her but she is still 19. I met her in 2006 while on holidays in Lagos, she was very young then so we had nothing much going on between us.I realised the implications of dating a 17 year old girl, so i abstained from everything that define love affair.I denied myself fun because of my love for her and because of how we met. A lot of things happened that brought me closer to her. Forr example, the day she was born was the day my grand mum died. The first time i met her was my own birthday and the first time i visited Nigeria from abroad was her own birthday. I am not a super fan of superstition but when it concerns you, you pay a little attention. Her parents found out about US and beat her. SHE ran out to the church parish. Her mother threatened to deal with me. I summoned enough courage, with the help of little whiskey and confronted the parents the same day. I told them everything i have told the girl and made them understand that they didnt have to beat her like that. I also told them that we all have to go to the parish house and bring her back. The father agreed and i went to the parish house with him and get the girl back home. I left town after some weeks without touching her and went back to my base. She is in school now. I call her every day from where i am. I pay money into her account without the knowledge of her parents. I call her parents atleast once in two weeks because i later became good friend of the family. Now the girl is changing. I know how this sounds but i must know what to do before its late for me. I called her roommate last night at about 12 :30 am and she grudginly told me that the girl went out. I called again this morning and the girl reluctantly told me that she went to see her friend. Which friend i enquired and the answer i got was that its non of my business. I was tempted to hang the phone but i dont like to get angry easily. I excused my self and cut the line. I want some advice from people who knows where this girl is heading. I also want some boys to put themselves in my shoes and tell me what they will do, Thank you.

please advice

@poster

im not disputing d fact dat she might have someone else,but i ask u,why did u call her room mate?y not d girl,some of room mates can be very jealous,since u provide ur girl wt everything and maybe nobody is providing for d room mate,so jealousy comes in,i think u should settle scores wt d girl and not d room mate

nice question chinda, she doesnt use phones at the moment. she gave me that number to reach her. she said the school prohibits phones and i also wonder why her roommate has a phone.

nice question chinda, she doesnt use phones at the moment. she gave me that number to reach her. she said the school prohibits phones and i also wonder why her roommate has a phone.

if d room mate uses a phone,then y is she not having one?i must say my brother it is really suspicious u know,my advise to u is dat u take things easy ok?just be very careful wt ur heart,because its a battle u might win or loose,like i said she might be innocent ,and she might have also found someone else,so its a 50-50 thing.

I feel you have every right to speculate on her actions, the phone thing and all that. But wait, don't rush into anything like throwing accuses yet, you need to hear her own side of the story but when you do, do it with your eyes wide open. Your girlfriend might have gone to a night party and her roomate didn't see it fit to disclose such to you. Remember she's just nineteen and her parents don't live with her in school. Just me speculating anyway

Poster, u said u finally got her on phone and she said is non of ur business, My advice for u is to give ur self a break. Don't call her for atleast two weeks, it will be very hard to do since u are highly emotionally attached to her, but that is the only way out. The more u call her the less her attraction for u. After two weeks if you decide to call her, and she ask, tell her u have decided not to mind her business again, tell her u just want to know how she is fairing, discuss general things like "how is ur mum and friends" and hang up. Make sure u don't talk about luv until she blames her self. There are many things u need to know about women, if you can read this blog, www.datingkeys..com/ . bet me, she will be the one calling u.

my view on long-distance relationships?

I don't like them at all.

In my experience, distance almost ALWAYS kills
attraction, and most long distance relationships DO fail in
the long run. (Probably around 90 percent.) So unless you've
already been going out with a girl for a LONG time, do NOT
start a long-distance relationship with her. It will NOT be
worth it.

At the end of the day, the outcome of your long-
distance relationship will depend on your MUTUAL attraction.
It means the attraction on BOTH ends has to stay HIGH. If your
attraction for her falls, then you won't want to have a
relationship with her anymore. The same goes for her. If her
attraction for you falls too low, she won't want to commit
to the relationship either. She'll probably start screwing
around with other guys behind your back. How well she behaves
while you're away will mostly depend on how much she is attracted
to you.


Loyalty is also important. Some girls are more loyal
than others. HOWEVER, I wouldn't count on this one because
it's out of your control. When your girlfriend is alone across
the sea and her very friendly (and well-hung) roommate opens
up a bottle of nice wine and invites her to taste it with him,
it won't take too long until the are cuddling in front of the
fireplace. It's just very hard for women to say "no" in this
kind of situation, when there's nobody around to rat on her.

Lesson of the day: If you're going to enter a long-
distance relationship, know what you're going into. You've
been warned!

And oh, here's a reminder, in addition to my free
email newsletter, I also have a killer downloadable course
called the "Smart Dating Course". It's literraly JAM PACKED
with dozens and dozens of SPECIFIC TECHNIQUES that you can
use RIGHT NOW to increase your success with women.

I've spent a lot of time, effort, and energy in
creating this system. I believe that ANY guy can use the
"Smart Dating Course" to IMMEDIATELY start meeting and
dating women, without having to "hyponize" them,
"manipulate them", or any of that junk

Poster is hard to do, but it is better you hult urself than another person to hurt you

Try read this blog www.datingkeys..com/ or email me at geoffery2@gmail.com

my advice is that you try and pay her some visit in school. There you can settle every scores you have with her.

Thanks to all, all advices are appreciated.

@poster

Ur girl is beginning to sound pathetic
Sometimes we dont kwn what we have until we lose it
I guess she doesn't know and might not get to kwn until,

The distance can also be a contributing factor
Dont give up on what u feel for her yet, a heart-heart talk might make things right again
If not, then take a walk, she doesnt worth ur love and sacrifice. goodluck

You are very far from each other and maybe someone she is seeing regularly is warming her. You know the nearer the warmer

has these been going on for some time now,
if yes, guy ur problems u have not discovered yet and the better for you to find and know why

and if ur answer is no, then u need to calm down, get to talk with her and i will say prepare ur mind for the worst since u are emotionally attached, and

u didn't say how she feels about you, is it the same way you feel about her. i want to know

for now a talk with her will do

Steroid101:

Poster, u said u finally got her on phone and she said is non of your business, My advice for u is to give your self a break. Don't call her for atleast two weeks, it will be very hard to do since u are highly emotionally attached to her, but that is the only way out. The more u call her the less her attraction for u. After two weeks if you decide to call her, and she ask, tell her u have decided not to mind her business again, tell her u just want to know how she is fairing, discuss general things like "how is your mum and friends" and hang up. Make sure u don't talk about love until she blames her self. There are many things u need to know about women, if you can read this blog, www.datingkeys..com/ . bet me, she will be the one calling u.

I'll have to go with steroid101 on this . . . funny name tho
we girls really love to be chased.
give her some space . . .see if she'll be worried bout u or try to contact u. If she does, then she's got feelings for u.

his_grace:

open your eyes, your ears, get your di ck erect and open your butt hole and realise that she doesnt give a damn about u - she sleeps around - can't u see?

I'm afraid, I've got to agree with his_grace on this.

A lot of things are pretty obvious, though I get the feeling you don't want to admit what you already know / suspect.

I think this is clear enough for u to see,but,bad thought are not always advisable.
It's better u find out wht exactly is wrong with ur relationship with.As relationship
involves sacrifice,i'll advce u to leave whtever u're doing where u are n attend to
this issue on ground.wish u luck, safe.

annboga:


I think this is clear enough for u to see,but,bad thought are not always advisable.
It's better u find out wht exactly is wrong with your relationship with.As relationship
involves sacrifice,i'll advce u to leave whtever u're doing where u are n attend to
this issue on ground.wish u luck, safe.

I will get through it. thank you. i am sure there is always a solution to every given problem.

his_grace:

Thank you Sienna - for once you are becoming my lover.

h-u-h

Dude stop acting like a sucker. first off why are you putting money in her account and she's not even calling? and why are you calling her family if you marry her are you marrying them?

That girl is in school with all the other boys running around her, you think she is thinking of you? i bet she only thinks of you when she goes to her bank account and her and her friends are all laughing at you because you are a sucker.
What ever happened to the women around where you currently live? i'm sure where ever you are there are Niaja women there if your excuse is that you don't want someone of a different race.

you know in you heart of heart that as soon as a woman's attitude change ( i know you know what i mean) the relationship is about over. Besides why are you so attached to someone who is just a friend and you never did anything with her or to her? i can go on and on it would all just point to you being a sucker.

@Sam milla

Look here Bro'. Give this girl a break and take a time out. Don't rush into conclusions and don't be fooled. This girl is only 19 and she's already got this much game? wonder what she will do when she hit 25. Also you forgot to tell us if she ever did such a thing b/4. And also if you are so hard on her whereabouts. She might be a little tired of your global monitoring systems.

Another thing is that you didn't tell us how old you are. She's only 19 and might be feeling left out among her younger friends and their male counter part. She might be feeling a little squeezed. Give her time to figure herself out, she is not even old enough to decide on what she wants. Goodluck bro'.

omega25red:

Dude stop acting like a sucker. first off why are you putting money in her account and she's not even calling? and why are you calling her family if you marry her are you marrying them?

That girl is in school with all the other boys running around her, you think she is thinking of you? i bet she only thinks of you when she goes to her bank account and her and her friends are all laughing at you because you are a sucker.
What ever happened to the women around where you currently live? i'm sure where ever you are there are Niaja women there if your excuse is that you don't want someone of a different race.

you know in you heart of heart that as soon as a woman's attitude change ( i know you know what i mean) the relationship is about over. Besides why are you so attached to someone who is just a friend and you never did anything with her or to her? i can go on and on it would all just point to you being a sucker.

@omega25red
I can see you have already concluded she is cheating on me. And that makes me a sucker. I guess you have never found your self in a situation where you have to decide against your own wishes. She is my girlfriend and i love her. So if you just conclude that i am a devil by giving her my money or that she is a devil because of what she said, or that i am a sucker because i call her family, then find me a lady who is perfect. I needed to hear from people who passed through this kind of experience and i am happy that i saw their replies. Stop trying to paint me with a coward brush because i could forget about her in a minute but that is not a guarantee that the next girl will be an angel. Thanks for opening my eyes anyway but i prefer to close them back.

guy,
men u dey try o! and they are very few men like u . i really do apprecite guys like u, my advice is dat u give her space and see weda she ll call u, if she does fine,, but let her know u were not happy about wat happened. but if she does not in say a whole month, ! do wat u wish but the truth is dat there is no point sending (caring) a babe that does not send U.
kapish

Why are you calling her everyday? It can become stifling at some point . . . try and space it out, u're giving her the impression that u're too clingy and women generally dont like that. Besides u can survive without her.

Why pay money into her account? u're not yet her husband . . . allow her father to take care of his responsibilities.

4Him:

Why are you calling her everyday? It can become stifling at some point . . . try and space it out, u're giving her the impression that u're too clingy and women generally don't like that. Besides u can survive without her.

Why pay money into her account? u're not yet her husband . . . allow her father to take care of his responsibilities.

Thanks for that piece of infomation but dont blame me if i say that it was another persons idea for me to make her feel that i am not too far from home by calling her regularly. I will practice your idea and see if it will work.

Why are you calling her everyday? It can become stifling at some point . . . try and space it out, u're giving her the impression that u're too clingy and women generally don't like that. Besides u can survive without her.

Why pay money into her account? u're not yet her husband . . . allow her father to take care of his responsibilities.

Best one here!. . .

But ma own view is that. .
She aint into you anymore. . . . she's got someone else. .wise up bro

sucka for love

SAM MILLA:

@omega25red
I can see you have already concluded she is cheating on me. And that makes me a sucker. I guess you have never found your self in a situation where you have to decide against your own wishes. She is my girlfriend and i love her. So if you just conclude that i am a devil by giving her my money or that she is a devil because of what she said, or that i am a sucker because i call her family, then find me a lady who is perfect. I needed to hear from people who passed through this kind of experience and i am happy that i saw their replies. Stop trying to paint me with a coward brush because i could forget about her in a minute but that is not a guarantee that the next girl will be an angel. Thanks for opening my eyes anyway but i prefer to close them back.

first off let me apologize for being so abusive to you i was just trying to help in my own was because it seems like the tactful advice the rest of the folks on here are giving you is no making enough of an impact
I know someone here in the Bronx who went home and hooked up with a young girl who he thought wanted him long story short when she finally got to the states he found out that not only has that girl slept with his brother but she also had a boyfriend here this is just an example of the horror stories that i have come across.
True talk that no one is perfect but i know you can see the writing on the wall that you may or may not be waisting your time and effort while you could be giving your love to someone else who needs and deserves it.

if you notice there aren't too many women who are responding to your post because they know whats going on (at least some of the usual suspects would have given you an input by now)

anyway I'm sorry that i called you a sucker though i believe that and i know love is hard but you shouldn't have to wait for someone to send you a registered letter tellling they don't want you before you figure it out most especially that she is young and in uni with all the parties and boys all around her.

@poster
you sound much older than this girl.

1.  you should never get involved in a long distance relationship

2.  If you are looking for a lady to start a relationship, dealing with a teenager is not the best way to go about it.


I do not understand why you have to put yourself through this kind of "sugar daddy/sugar baby" romance.  When you decide to fool around with little girls who have eyes for little boys, this is the result.  Look baby, I was a 19 year old too in a University in Nigeria.  If you think this girl will sit and close her legs waiting for you in NIGERIA for that matter. . .you must be joking!   Come hell or high water. .  .the kind of dudes I went to school with will not let you have a moment's peace till you give up that cookie.   In the classrooms they are pinching your arse.  In the hostels, they never leave your bed till dawn. . . giving you the sweetest rap lyrics of your life. Infact a 19 year old girl in any University in Nigeria is a dude magnet, no matter how born again or ugly! The attention is fun and the hormones are raging. You have only become her "mumu money bag". Love has nothng to do with this equation.  You are only interested in her young body, not even her mind. . . that comes with a price. You cannot even list specific qualities that attract you to this girl but her youth.

In all honesty, at 19, I would be doing the same thing this girl is doing to you. I[b] will use your money to sponsor birthday parties for my cutest boyfriends. [/b] Since you refused to "touch"me, I really do not have any "fond memories" of what your love feels like.   So let us keep it at sending money into ma account, and let others "touch me" in your absence.  A 19 year old girl only remembers who lights her fire more than who sends her money.  You might not be the only one sending her money. . . .so nothing special there.  Infact, you might be the poorest of the "money miss roads"! She is only acting her age.  I don't know if you are acting yours.


Please get you a real woman, if you are looking for a long term relationship! This child is still going through the motions, just like you are.

Thank you for sharing!

I think you're wrong AJ. The posters profile says he's 23yrs (don't know if that's his real age) but if it is, I don't see nothing wrong or sugardaddy about a 23yrs old guy dating a 19yrs old girl.

@SAM MILLA:
This whole thing seems or look like you two didn't define your relationship or what you guys are from day one. You also admit to not being involve in anything that defines love or affair with her! inother words she might think you're father X-mas or some money miss road. For a girl to tell you that what she do/does is not your business says it all.

Use your tongue to count your teeth.

prince_onx:

I think you're wrong AJ. The posters profile says he's 23yrs (don't know if that's his real age) but if it is, I don't see nothing wrong or sugardaddy about a 23yrs old guy dating a 19yrs old girl.

I did not look at his profile.  Not many 23 year old guys will do all these things this guy is doing.  Long distance?

So no girls to spend money on where he is "abroad"?  Well someone else will definitely "touch" her before he gets back to his depreciated merchandise! In a Nigerian University for that matter.  Is it not the same Nigerian University I went to?

Frankly a 19 year old girl and a 23 year old dude=puppy crush.  Both are not ready for anything serious but jazz around!