PLEASE HELP ME:
You people should help me. I’m in love with someone in my office – but she does not love me back. She is the SECRETARY. I was part of the panel that interviewed her. After then, she started feeling something for me [or, so I thought], but at that time, I was not feeling anything for her.

My major problem is that right now, it is as if my eyes have just been opened. I am feeling something for this girl [just about 24 or 25]. But it now appears that she no longer feels me. Instead, she is now talking to some of my colleagues who she once hated. The more she does this, the more jealous I get. My instinct told me that she is using that to make me feel jealous – but maybe I am wrong.

Please you people should not be mad at me. I am honestly seeking your constructive opinion. If you are here to insult me or tell me how stupid I am, please don’t even start it, because [believe me], you CANNOT stand the emotional pressure I am facing right now. I wan die ooo.

THIS THING IS REALLY AFFECTING THE WAY I DO MY JOB. I AM GOING CRAZY. SOME OF MY COLLEAGUES HAVE STARTED COMPLAINING TO ME THAT MY ATTITUDE HAS CHANGED, BUT I CANNOT TELL THEM WHAT PROBLEM IS.

Please I need someone to give me a solution that will work.

The worst part of the story is that I have tried everything to remove her from my mind, but I CANNOT DO IT. The more I try to remove her from my mind, the more I hurt myself. I do not know what to do.  I have only a few options running within my head:

Become hostile to her – so that I can get her off my mind.  Although, I have tried it a little, it is only making things worse for me.

Get another girl somewhere else. My brothers, this one is not easy ooo, because I have not seen another person to replace her. The more I try to get someone else – the more it seems like there is no one who can match her. The fact is that I am stuck on her.

LEAVE THE JOB. But how will I feed, clothe and sustain myself. But will I leave my job because of a babe?

A brother in need,
SHINZO ABE

She liked you. You snubbed her.

She moved on and now your "eyes have been opened"

Guys are so predictable. *yawn*

Buy her a car, you'll get her attention

Geeez, tell her how you feel and stop punishing yourself.

But office romance, ain't really the best.

Don't go crazy yet. . . not yet over.

if u know u r matured enuff to keep an office romance, approach the girl and know her stand. Shikena. If she is not interested, abeg, pls dnt pressure her. Just look for ur babe else where.

brace up and ask her out!

janami
if u know you're matured enough to keep an office romance, approach the girl and know her stand. Shikena. If she is not interested, abeg, please dnt pressure her. Just look for your babe else where.

@ janami
ole nu pa
@ topic
Thats just it fellow if u're matured enough to keep an office romance, just do as janami said.
God bless ya.

@ poster

call a panel and interview her again.

this time fire her so that u don't get crazy.

What might have caused the sudden switch? Did you unknowingly belittled yourself before her (no insult meant). Have you at any time tried to impress her? Did you give her false impression about yourself? Could it also be that she overrated you initially?

Anyway, ask her out; let her know how you feel about her. If she declines, then give her a break and try again in future.

Meanwhile, don't let jealousy be your greatest undoing. Ignore those other colleagues of yours.

@Mortiple,

I think you are a good guy. I was expecting something like your post. To all them: Busta, ThoniaSLim, Janami and Deola. Thanks for your contributions. Funny that you people are even ladies giving me advice on this issue.

I did not do anything with her today, but I believe that I now have an idea where I should start.
Will keep y'all posted.

To Cixluv and D-reloaded: Abeg, I wasn't expecting you guys to get mad at me. Wetin I do?

Thanks

SHINZO ABE

You need not go crazy, millions of pple all over the world are going thru something similar.

go to www.wikipedia.org

type in the world LIMERANCE . solution to your craziness can be found there

Limerence, as posited by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, is an attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic love. The meaning of the word, which was coined by Tennov in 1977, is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person, the limerent object.

@poster,
u need 2 conquer d jealousy first b/4 u can think of d next step.

Just tell her how you feel about her,
Ask her out on a date and see how things go from there.

lik the others ave said, if u can handle office relationship well,den tell her how u feel and stop roasting.

thank you for your contributions,

shinzo abe

You, my friend, are like a dog in a manger. I bet the moment she gives you face again. . .you'll lose interest. Please let her be. . .you had your chance and you BLEW IT!!!!!!!!!!

@ Poster

I would advice you to just completely forget about her and move on, cause this office thing ain't love O!

Ask her out. Stop torturing yourself you might just end up getting sick.

Let him leave the girl alone please

His demented type are all over the place. Those psychos that only wants a girl when other people want her too

If she agrees to be with the slowpoke, he'll then remember how he didnt "like her as much" then start making another idiotic thread titled "how do I make my office girl leave me alone!"

Abeg get out of my face.

Cool down now

ok.

@ Poster,
How can you be productive at work, when all you expend your energy on, is thinking about a secretary at your place of work?

Go crazy for all you want, she will continue to live her own normal life.

All the best.

@poster
who said office Romance doesn't work? it depends on how u handle it
You can find ur soulmate any where.
Stop dying in silence, make ur opinion known to her
U wont have so much to loose if not a bit of heart break if she turns u down
suprisingly the flame might spark off, goodluck

do thet honourable thing - tell her how you feel and then wait for an answer.

if she says NO, then leave her and try again later in the future. if after two trials, she doesnt like u, then leave her and find someone else.

just me

jst ask her out.

oneperson:

do thet honourable thing - tell her how you feel and then wait for an answer.

if she says NO, then leave her and try again later in the future. if after two trials, she doesnt like u, then leave her and find someone else.

just me

Exxxxcuse me? Which Honorable thing will he be doing by telling her how he feels?

Did you miss this part of his post


[size=14pt]

After then, she started feeling something for me [or, so I thought], but at that time, I was not feeling anything for her.

[/size]

Please let's call a spade a spade. . .the only reason he's showing any interest now is because someone else is interested in her. Mr. Poster man, do us all a fovor and go look for another secy somewhere else. LEAVE THIS GIRL ALONE. . . Now THAT would be the Honorable thing.

Honorable my cute behind! Hissss

you were her superior, and you didn't really feel anything for her. believe me, you stopped being her superior the moment you allowed her to find out you have feelings for her which is normal with women. nothing has gone wrong yet, if you play your card well she is going to be your woman.
now start working towards your desire- remember if you really want something there is a big chance you will surely get it when you work towards it.
start from the beginning. yes, go brack to the beginning. try to contain your emotions, let it never show in your behaviour, go back to being her superior, and even though you verbally let her know your feeling(which you must do soonest before you die off in silence) do it like the boss, like the man, like a guy who care but it is no big deal if she says no. recall back your first confidence when she really didn't mattar to you, you Will surely need it to have an edge over her. smile often, be happy, look at her in a romantic way, but not like a loser. yes continue to admire her with confidence, let your stare be like "i can get you"
yes be in charge.
but if it all these does not work- still be your self. allow your self to get hurt, but not carried away, then look for someone to give those feelings to. remember the feeling are yours, they are in your control, if she does not want your love then she does not deserve your love
wish you all the best.

well try and make her happy not just buying her a car

Thanks for your contributions to my post. I really appreciate. However, some of our friends have been a little hostile [without a reason]. Let me just correct some impressions:

I did not start liking her because someone else is indicating interest. The interest just rose at the time it did. Does it not happen to anyother person? Is this peculiar to me alone?

To my friends who are angry with me [Sisikill & D-Reloaded]: I can understand your point, but let me ask you: Have you never behaved this way unknowingly? Personally, I think I just posted my problem for you to profer solutions, not to be insulted.

Even if you want me to leave the girl alone, I think there are better ways to say it without insulting me.

To clear the air: None of my colleagues [or anyone I know] is interested in this lady. At least, I know their girlfriends and to the best of my knowledge, they are really serious with their girlfriends and not thinking of leaving them. So, do you no understand that none of them is dating this particular girl?

Anyway, whatever the case, I have heard what you have to say sha.

Thanks to everybody who contributed to this post.
And also to Sisikill and D-Reloaded.

abeg leave people wey dey talk.

do what your mind tells you.

it is either YES or NO.