IMO, Its your life and God has given you a freewill! You v to move closer to God and hear from him through your spirit linked with his!
During my service year, i met a guy who was interested in me then! I prayed about it and i saw different revelations about his life and family!
On getting to know him better: i discovered the revelations i had were true!
I informed my father in the Lord about this man! The first Q he asked was: What has God shown you? I told him the revelations and he said to me; Wait upon the Lord my daughter!
I ll say as a MOG, He shouldnt say this is your wife or not! You should not be ignorant of spiritual things so that anybody ll not claim to be God‘s servant and tell you things that are not!

You went to ask for God's approval through a man of God & God said nooo! She's not your wife,what else do want to hear? Do you want us here to complicate your issue? Go & read the story of Sampson & others in the bible,then draw your conclusion.Prevention is better than cure,go to other men of God up to 3 places & compare the result. Those that went through that way are not fools.

Tell your man of God that his wife is Ω̶oτ his too

A word is enough for the wise......if he is a true man of God......u better do......@ a point in time......Love wont exist

I am sick & tired of this man of god business. Use your brain, marriage is for you & your family to decide. Pastor is to wed you when time comes.
Pastors ruin a lot of relationships when they have hidden agenda
You will live with the person & bear the consequencies of your choice (good or bad)
Good luck in your choice

Don't know why people must consult men of God on every issue..take responsibility for your actions.

ifihearam: @poster

A man of God you respect,respect on what ground?
You just told us he said you should not marry her,but you have not told us the reasons he gave you.

What were the reasons he gave ?

That's the point, what are his reasons?
There is no point being sentimental about this, if you are not convinced about the pastors statement, then go on with your babe. I believe you have a level of faith, that's why you went to the pastor in the first place.
However, if his reasons are beyond prayer, guy no look back, just quietly time out of that relation

daroz: @OP, u made a big mistake by bringing dis issue to nairaland that is full of atheist & unserious believers. I am not saying u should take d advice of the pastor or discard it, cos I don't know the kind of personality pastor has(if he is a truly called Man of God or one of those fake money inspired God of Men), and d kind of girl u wish to marry. But I want u to have this at the back of your mind,"what an Old man sees while sitting down, a young man may not see while on top of a tree". Sit down and do ur consideration properly, and plss don't also forget to involve ur parents/siblings into the decision making, their stand are also very important.

Did the pastor give him a reason? If the pastor gave him a reason (other than it being an unsuitable bond) then he can look at that and draw his own conclusions. If the pastor did not give him a reason he has every right to try to get further advice.

We base our decisions off information we recieve and this can be through our own deductions or advice from others. Nairaland is as good a portal as any for advice.

Op: I can imagine what you are going through right now. You love a girl and you have already started thinking may be she is the one, so you went for prophetic guidance from a Pastor your respected so well ( may be because he has previously given you prophecies that turned our to be correct) and the result is that this girl you love so much is not your wife. Like some people have mentioned here, Nairaland is not exactly the place to get advice as most people here are not true Christians and even those who are may not share your perspective especially when it comes to accessing the gift of prophecy. My advise, first, let God see that you have not idolized this girl, maintain a open disposition,if God says let go of her, be willing to do just that, it will be hard to hear the truth if you are not prepared to accept it. Take sometime out to fast and pray for specific leading of the Holy Spirit on this matter and stay sensitive to God especially as it relates to how God communicates to you. If at the end of the prayer and fasting you still have peace in your spirit concerning the girl, you may take the final step of approaching another trusted minister of God who has the prophetic auction for confirmation. If you get a go ahead, that confirms the peace you already have but if you still don't get a go ahead, I will advise you start asking for God's grace to let go. Ultimately, if you are not meant to be with this girl, you won't. Love is not enough my broda and on a final note, I think there must be a witness deep within you soul as to whether or not that prophecy is genuine, so do not deceive yourself.



And to all Nairalanders, the fact that you are told someone is not your spouse ( with confirmation from other ministers of God) and you still proceed to marry the person and you people are having a good life right now does not necessarily debunk the prophecies, don't forget, prophecies are for an appointed time. Rather than coming here to encourage other people to shun prophecies, you should be busy praying to God to show you mercy all the way so that the bad prophecies will not come to pass.

You can only say a prophecy is not true if you have spent at least 40 years of marriage with both of you alive, fruitful and fulfilled, otherwise, just stay in your closet asking that God should shame any prophecy the fulfilment of which may bring bitterness into your life.

The fact that there are all sort of ungodly people parading themselves as men of God, especially in Lagos, does not mean there are no true oracle of God here, God still speaks and no matter how deep you are with God, there is still the place of those specially called to the office of Prophet and they are so gifted for the edification of the church, just as the Pastors, Teachers, Workers of miracle etc

You have to be careful of some Men of God.when it comes to marriage issue is better Ʊ allow God to talk to u.Nobody can receive from you except you .

bio12: I love her so much BUT a Man of God I respect very much told me she's not my wife

What do I do?

Whoever that so called man of God is has just told you a lie from the pit of hell. God has never told any man "this is your wife or this one is not your wife" he has left men to choose whosoever they wish to marry from creation. This equally applies to the woman.

When God created Adam he did not impose a wife on him. As much as GOD wanted him to have a wife, he did not impose one on him rather brought the woman to him so he could decide if he wanted her. It was Adam himself that fell in love with the woman and said “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man" (Genesis 2:23)

The idea that somehow God has betrothed a man to a woman or a woman to a man from birth is not found or written anywhere in scriptures. It is the responsibility of man to find a wife amongst the women , and the responsibility of the woman to decide of her own free will to marry a man. This is the sign of adulthood. To start chasing after a pastor, prophet, daddy, mummy, papa, mama, brother or sister to declare unto you who your wife or husband will be is a sign of immaturity (both physical and spiritual).

It is unfortunate that late marriages occur in the christian community today because false teachers have gone out teaching the young ones that they have been betrothed to a particular man or woman. Hence you hear people professing their ignorance saying " He is not the will of God or she is not the will of God" Some of the fraudsters pastors have even created terms such as "perfect will of God" as though some will of God are imperfect.

Every marriage has its own challenge, whether you call it perfect or imperfect will of God, and to think that somehow a marriage will be free of challenges is not to live in reality.

My brother let not your respected MOG lead you astray. The only advice the bible gives corcerning marriage is that the person must be in the Lord. In other words marry someone who share thesame beliefs as you. But then you need to ask yourself other important questions (i.e your decision making process must not be based on dreams, pastor said, or other unreasonable reasons ). Ask yourself: Do I love her? Are we compatible? Do I want to live with her for the rest of my life? What are her strengths and weaknesses and can I cope with them or work on them ? Will I be proud to tell the world she's my wife? etc

Haven said this you can either believe scriptures or man ( MOG or not). At best God can reveal something about the lady to you especially by her character. Even at that the choice is always with you. If you see anything in a dream or vision please do confirm it in reality (in other words ask questions from the person(s) involved) There are many false and useless dreams out there coming out of the fears stored in man.

These verses may be of help

"This is what the LORD has commanded concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, 'Let them marry whom they wish; only they must marry within the family of the tribe of their father.' Numbers 36:6

"Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease." [/b]Jeremiah 29:6

"[b]Whoever finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the LORD." Provers 18:22

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." - I corinthians 7:39

...

baldman: Op: I can imagine what you are going through right now. You love a girl and you have already started thinking may be she is the one, so you went for prophetic guidance from a Pastor your respected so well ( may be because he has previously given you prophecies that turned our to be correct) and the result is that this girl you love so much is not your wife. Like some people have mentioned here, Nairaland is not exactly the place to get advice as most people here are not true Christians and even those who are may not share your perspective especially when it comes to accessing the gift of prophecy. My advise, first, let God see that you have not idolized this girl, maintain a open disposition,if God says let go of her, be willing to do just that, it will be hard to hear the truth if you are not prepared to accept it. Take sometime out to fast and pray for specific leading of the Holy Spirit on this matter and stay sensitive to God especially as it relates to how God communicates to you. If at the end of the prayer and fasting you still have peace in your spirit concerning the girl, you may take the final step of approaching another trusted minister of God who has the prophetic auction for confirmation. If you get a go ahead, that confirms the peace you already have but if you still don't get a go ahead, I will advise you start asking for God's grace to let go. Ultimately, if you are not meant to be with this girl, you won't. Love is not enough my broda and on a final note, I think there must be a witness deep within you soul as to whether or not that prophecy is genuine, so do not deceive yourself.



And to all Nairalanders, the fact that you are told someone is not your spouse ( with confirmation from other ministers of God) and you still proceed to marry the person and you people are having a good life right now does not necessarily debunk the prophecies, don't forget, prophecies are for an appointed time. Rather than coming here to encourage other people to shun prophecies, you should be busy praying to God to show you mercy all the way so that the bad prophecies will not come to pass.

You can only say a prophecy is not true if you have spent at least 40 years of marriage with both of you alive, fruitful and fulfilled, otherwise, just stay in your closet asking that God should shame any prophecy the fulfilment of which may bring bitterness into your life.

The fact that there are all sort of ungodly people parading themselves as men of God, especially in Lagos, does not mean there are no true oracle of God here, God still speaks and no matter how deep you are with God, there is still the place of those specially called to the office of Prophet and they are so gifted for the edification of the church, just as the Pastors, Teachers, Workers of miracle etc

You need to study your bible and start believing it otherwise you may just be at the mercy of fraudster religious guys all the rest of your life. And many of those teaching you these things married their wives as unbelievers and have no reference for such doctrines in scriptures. May God open your eyes

Lemme tell u my own story

When my fiance (at that time)told his mum he wanted to tie the knot with me, she went to several places to pray. They told her that if my husband insists on marrying me, a lot of calamities were going to befall him. She did everything within her power to make sure convince him or change his mind but he insisted that it was me or nobody.please note that my MIL is a very nice woman and treats me like her daughter.

The first prophet told her he was going to lose his job within 6 months after our wedding.
The second one told her(MIL) he was going to run mad if and when he makes love to me.

At first it took us by surprise cos we had prayed and we had a conviction that God had in hand in our being together.

I've been married for a year and 2 months and my husband has not lost his job but instead has gotten a better one less than 7 months after our wedding and neither has he run mad.

So pray and let God lead you.

Have onced ignored a prophecy abt my life on a particular issue Äπϑ I really regretted it big time. If u can't hear frm God ursef, then its best u heed to U̶̲̥̅̊я pastor's advice! To obey is better than to sacrifice.

belabela:

Whoever that so called man of God is has just told you a lie from the pit of hell. God has never told any man "this is your wife or this one is not your wife" he has left men to choose whosoever they wish to marry from creation. This equally applies to the woman.

When God created Adam he did not impose a wife on him. As much as GOD wanted him to have a wife, he did not impose one on him rather brought the woman to him so he could decide if he wanted her. It was Adam himself that fell in love with the woman and said “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man" (Genesis 2:23)

The idea that somehow God has betrothed a man to a woman or a woman to a man from birth is not found or written anywhere in scriptures. It is the responsibility of man to find a wife amongst the women , and the responsibility of the woman to decide of her own free will to marry a man. This is the sign of adulthood. To start chasing after a pastor, prophet, daddy, mummy, papa, mama, brother or sister to declare unto you who your wife or husband will be is a sign of immaturity (both physical and spiritual).

It is unfortunate that late marriages occur in the christian community today because false teachers have gone out teaching the young ones that they have been betrothed to a particular man or woman. Hence you hear people professing their ignorance saying " He is not the will of God or she is not the will of God" Some of the fraudsters pastors have even created terms such as "perfect will of God" as though some will of God are imperfect.

Every marriage has its own challenge, whether you call it perfect or imperfect will of God, and to think that somehow a marriage will be free of challenges is not to live in reality.

My brother let not your respected MOG lead you astray. The only advice the bible gives corcerning marriage is that the person must be in the Lord. In other words marry someone who share thesame beliefs as you. But then you need to ask yourself other important questions (i.e your decision making process must not be based on dreams, pastor said, or other unreasonable reasons ). Ask yourself: Do I love her? Are we compatible? Do I want to live with her for the rest of my life? What are her strengths and weaknesses and can I cope with them or work on them ? Will I be proud to tell the world she's my wife? etc

Haven said this you can either believe scriptures or man ( MOG or not). At best God can reveal something about the lady to you especially by her character. Even at that the choice is always with you. If you see anything in a dream or vision please do confirm it in reality (in other words ask questions from the person(s) involved) There are many false and useless dreams out there coming out of the fears stored in man.

These verses may be of help

"This is what the LORD has commanded concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, 'Let them marry whom they wish; only they must marry within the family of the tribe of their father.' Numbers 36:6

"Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease." [/b]Jeremiah 29:6

"[b]Whoever finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the LORD." Provers 18:22

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." - I corinthians 7:39

You are right but before you crucify the man of God,wait for the details of what the man of God said to bio 12. If God can direct the servant of Abraham to pick a wife for Isaac,why can't a man of God be led or directed by God if he(man of God)ask God to direct his son in the lord to pick a wife? God can direct anyone who asks !-Psalms 37:23''The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives' If the Op fails to ask God and decided to ask the pastor and the pastor decides to ask God,what is wrong with that ?
Abraham sent forth his servant to pick a wife for his son Isaac but the servant was reasonable enough to remember to ask for God's direction to do the picking !-Genesis 24:12-15''Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor''
Belabela,we are suppose to ask God our selves but if the pastor is for real,i do not see anything wrong in doing that ! The true man of God can pray concerning it and can be shown something that you have not seen,though would have seen but becos of our dilapidated relationship with God ! If the OP is for real(a relationship with God) and the pastor is for real as well,i advice the Op runs back to God and see if he will not get same confirmation.
God bless us all

Becacia_Barbie: Have onced ignored a prophecy abt my life on a particular issue Äπϑ I really regretted it big time. If u can't hear frm God ursef, then its best u heed to U̶̲̥̅̊я pastor's advice! To obey is better than to sacrifice.

God bless you !
''Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.'-Proverb 11:14
"Listen to my words: "When there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams.''-Numbers 12:6

If you can't hear from God urself,listen to the true man of God !
God bless us all

there's ntin prayer can nt do, pray n get d revelation by urself, jst take charge [color=#006600][/color]

belabela:

You need to study your bible and start believing it otherwise you may just be at the mercy of fraudster religious guys all the rest of your life. And many of those teaching you these things married their wives as unbelievers and have no reference for such doctrines in scriptures. May God open your eyes

At Belabela, I don't get the premises upon which you came to the above conclusion or advice and I am not really certain if same was directed at me or the OP, but in anycase, my warning is that there are indeed true children of God who are gifted in prophecy, that gift is biblical and it is well rooted even in the new testament, so when we come out to say, people should disregard 'thou sayeth the Lord' and only do things as they think fit, we may be creating a problem rather than solving it. Every child of God has a measure of the spirit of God so ordinarily should be self sufficient, but God still deemed it fit to give a measure of the gifts of the spirit to as many as would desire it( the gifts of the spirit are the only things the Bible says we should covet) for the edification of the church. SO there are real prophets and God has so appointed them for the edification of the church. That I got from my Bible. The fantastic thing about the bible is that it is the standard against which every word of prophecy is to be tested.

How long have you been a christian because christianity means the one who has a relationship with Christ who is God. The pastor is supposed to lead you to Christ and teach you how to establish a one on one relationship with Jesus. The rest is God and You. Ask God Himself, he is nearer to you (man is a spirit being) than your skin. If you draw near, He would draw near too! Whether or not He answers you there and then, just keep talking to Him and trust that He hears you. Soon, very soon, He will surprise you with some answers but note that the communication line must be clear... meaning no negative thoughts and deeds, look into the mirror (Bible) to make sure the fruits of the spirit abound in you (Galatians 5), nobody is perfect but our hearts must desire God through obedience which God Himself calls "Love for Him".

On the other hand, if you are convinced your pastor is well in tune with God, then listen to him after you must have prayed to get confirmation in your spirit. If it is God's will, you will experience so much peace in your heart, otherwise you'll be confused still.

Having a word from your pastor and still wanting a comfirmation from this forum, is a sign that you are confused. no peace (like Kayode Ezekiel Salako of 65 pastors'fame). I pray for God's guidance and goodluck.

Normally the deep mutual feelings you share with your partner brings you together in marriage, but when one suddenly needs confirmation from a third and even fourth party of what one feels, then that one is confused and should go slow and pray again and again until ones heart finds peace. Confusion is not God but a heart full of peace is God-sign.

baldman:

At Belabela, I don't get the premises upon which you came to the above conclusion or advice and I am not really certain if same was directed at me or the OP, but in anycase, my warning is that there are indeed true children of God who are gifted in prophecy, that gift is biblical and it is well rooted even in the new testament, so when we come out to say, people should disregard 'thou sayeth the Lord' and only do things as they think fit, we may be creating a problem rather than solving it. Every child of God has a measure of the spirit of God so ordinarily should be self sufficient, but God still deemed it fit to give a measure of the gifts of the spirit to as many as would desire it( the gifts of the spirit are the only things the Bible says we should covet) for the edification of the church. SO there are real prophets and God has so appointed them for the edification of the church. That I got from my Bible. The fantastic thing about the bible is that it is the standard against which every word of prophecy is to be tested.

I wouldn't mind asking a friendship from you ! The subtlety in which you presented ur point is in no doubt that of a regenerated christian !
God bless u

Becacia_Barbie: Have onced ignored a prophecy abt my life on a particular issue Äπϑ I really regretted it big time. If u can't hear frm God ursef, then its best u heed to U̶̲̥̅̊я pastor's advice! To obey is better than to sacrifice.

Your theology is quite disturbing. The Spirit of the Lord dwells in all children of God. As a matter of fact it is the seal of their sonship. If any cannot hear from the Lord how then will they know that their pastors are saying the truth. First of all if anything said to you is contrary to the word of God, you may as well discard it. Prophecy is not meant to put you in bondage nor put you in fear. It is a message from the Lord and the purpose of prophecy is more important than the prophecy.

Just because you ignored a thing and regret it later does not translate to a theology. You know why you ignored it, if you had no reason for ignoring it then you should have no reason to complain. We are talking about the decision that every man must make you are saying ask your pastor. Did your pastor make the decision to follow Christ for you? On your wedding day were you asked " Did the Holy Spirit tell you this is your husband?" or haven't those who understand scripture not lay it down to ask you " Do you take this man as your husband or do you take this woman as your wife?"

Get your bible read it and pray to God to interpret the word unto you and stop following prophecies about. The totality of prophecy is in Christ and written in scriptures. if there is anymore thing to know the Holy Spirit will teach you.

belabela:

Your theology is quite disturbing. The Spirit of the Lord dwells in all children of God. As a matter of fact it is the seal of their sonship. If any cannot hear from the Lord how then will they know that their pastors are saying the truth. First of all if anything said to you is contrary to the word of God, you may as well discard it. Prophecy is not meant to put you in bondage nor put you in fear. It is a message from the Lord and the purpose of prophecy is more important than the prophecy.

Just because you ignored a thing and regret it later does not translate to a theology. You know why you ignored it, if you had no reason for ignoring it then you should have no reason to complain. We are talking about the decision that every man must make you are saying ask your pastor. Did your pastor make the decision to follow Christ for you? On your wedding day were you asked " Did the Holy Spirit tell you this is your husband?" or haven't those who understand scripture not lay it down to ask you " Do you take this man as your husband or do you take this woman as your wife?"

Get your bible read it and pray to God to interpret the word unto you and stop following prophecies about. The totality of prophecy is in Christ and written in scriptures. if there is anymore thing to know the Holy Spirit will teach you.

You said to him: ''take up his bible and read it'' And i ask, if i finish studying my bible should i still fellowship with other believers or go to gatherings where we have other believers ? If yes, Why ? And if No please give me reasons as well !
Thank God i'm learning !
God help us

belabela:

Your theology is quite disturbing. The Spirit of the Lord dwells in all children of God. As a matter of fact it is the seal of their sonship. If any cannot hear from the Lord how then will they know that their pastors are saying the truth. First of all if anything said to you is contrary to the word of God, you may as well discard it. Prophecy is not meant to put you in bondage nor put you in fear. It is a message from the Lord and the purpose of prophecy is more important than the prophecy.

Just because you ignored a thing and regret it later does not translate to a theology. You know why you ignored it, if you had no reason for ignoring it then you should have no reason to complain. We are talking about the decision that every man must make you are saying ask your pastor. Did your pastor make the decision to follow Christ for you? On your wedding day were you asked " Did the Holy Spirit tell you this is your husband?" or haven't those who understand scripture not lay it down to ask you " Do you take this man as your husband or do you take this woman as your wife?"

Get your bible read it and pray to God to interpret the word unto you and stop following prophecies about. The totality of prophecy is in Christ and written in scriptures. if there is anymore thing to know the Holy Spirit will teach you.

You said to him: ''Get your bible read it'' And i ask, if i finish studying my bible should i still fellowship with other believers or go to gatherings where we have other believers ? If yes, Why ? And if No please give me reasons as well !
Thank God i'm learning !
God help us

m.k.o2005:

You are right but before you crucify the man of God,wait for the details of what the man of God said to bio 12. If God can direct the servant of Abraham to pick a wife for Isaac,why can't a man of God be led or directed by God if he(man of God)ask God to direct his son in the lord to pick a wife? God can direct anyone who asks !-Psalms 37:23''The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives' If the Op fails to ask God and decided to ask the pastor and the pastor decides to ask God,what is wrong with that ?
Abraham sent forth his servant to pick a wife for his son Isaac but the servant was reasonable enough to remember to ask for God's direction to do the picking !-Genesis 24:12-15''Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor''
Belabela,we are suppose to ask God our selves but if the pastor is for real,i do not see anything wrong in doing that ! The true man of God can pray concerning it and can be shown something that you have not seen,though would have seen but becos of our dilapidated relationship with God ! If the OP is for real(a relationship with God) and the pastor is for real as well,i advice the Op runs back to God and see if he will not get same confirmation.
God bless us all

My brother whether pastor is real or not it is solely your responsibility to choose your wife. It is shear arrogance for one man to claim somebody is not your wife, and what is preventing him from telling you your wife. The only problem is that God can only guide you he will never impose anybody on you.

Let's go back to the story of Abraham, his servant, Rebecca and Isaac

First of all getting a wife is a favour from the Lord which Abraham is aware of. Again Abraham knows that God does not impose a woman on a man and vice versa hence he said:

“The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” - Genesis 24: 7-8

Abraham first had a desire that his son should marry from among his people. God did not decide that for him

He is fully aware that a lady may say yes or no. God does not betroth anyone to another

He asked for guidance and God's favour for his servant who will go to get a wife for Isaac.


Note that the wife is not for the servant but for Isaac. Now Abraham's servant decided to put a fleece before the Lord.

'Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”


Fleece does not guarantee that God was in a thing but it has been an ancient method used throughout the old testament and even in the choosing of Matthias to replace Judas Iscariot. However we know that it is not a reliable way to ascertain that God has made the choice.


Abraham's servant had to propose to Rebecca by putting a gold ring on her nose which her brothers spotted and knew a man was interested in her. And even at that the servant was not saying " I am sure this woman is Isaac's wife. He waited for Rebecca to make her choice.

Then they said, “Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she said

To meet any man or woman is by divine providence, to speak to the woman or propose is left to you and to have a marriage both parties must agree they want to go on this journey. Where did you see Rebecca asking her brothers if she should follow them? No where! She is more mature than most of the ladies in our churches today. And her brothers are more knowledgeable than the pastors we have today.

In our culture where parents allow their children to bring their fiancé/e home, many young people would not in any way be like Rebecca who had her own mind they work by illusion or what their pastor said which is pathetic.

Every child of God is led/guided by the Holy Spirit, and the pastor is not the one to validate the Spirit of God. Rather it is the other way round. that is why the decision is yours not your pastor's. Many pastors will do well by staying in their duty post and not trying to be God over men.

baldman:

At Belabela, I don't get the premises upon which you came to the above conclusion or advice and I am not really certain if same was directed at me or the OP, but in anycase, my warning is that there are indeed true children of God who are gifted in prophecy, that gift is biblical and it is well rooted even in the new testament, so when we come out to say, people should disregard 'thou sayeth the Lord' and only do things as they think fit, we may be creating a problem rather than solving it. Every child of God has a measure of the spirit of God so ordinarily should be self sufficient, but God still deemed it fit to give a measure of the gifts of the spirit to as many as would desire it( the gifts of the spirit are the only things the Bible says we should covet) for the edification of the church. SO there are real prophets and God has so appointed them for the edification of the church. That I got from my Bible. The fantastic thing about the bible is that it is the standard against which every word of prophecy is to be tested.

It was actually directed at you and I completely agree with you that prophecy is a gift that is used to edify the church of God. God has a nature and Jonah understood the nature of God. When a message is given from the Lord it is called a prophecy. That message normally has a purpose and if the purpose is not known then you miss the whole essence of the prophecy. Why did God send Jonah to Nineveh? To warn the people of an impending destruction. However the people were not destroyed because they repented and God does not despise a man with a contrite heart and an humble spirit. If God send a message to a church that there will be famine in the land. The church should ask what is it that the Lord require us to do? if God says the some devils have agreed to cause a road accident for members going on mission to a village, is God saying they shouldn't go anymore? NO! he is calling their attention to prayer. They are already engaged in a spiritual battle which they will win in God. But somebody can foolishly go about saying God says do not go to preach in that village cos their will be accident.

Now we are talking about marriage. It is not the nature of God to impose a wife on anyone or tell someone "that is not your wife" at least not the supreme God. Marriage is not a subconscious exercise or what somebody else will decide for you. Every marriage has its challenges whether 1 million pastors say it's from God or not. Man is not a zombie as not to know what they want and why they make their decision. Most of the times it is fear of the future that make brethren stand before diviners ( aka prophets) to tell them who they should marry. That is not from God.

m.k.o2005:

You said to him: ''Get your bible read it'' And i ask, if i finish studying my bible should i still fellowship with other believers or go to gatherings where we have other believers ? If yes, Why ? And if No please give me reasons as well !
Thank God i'm learning !
God help us

I don't like the thought that you seem to be deliberately trying to misunderstand our brother. But, are you indeed doing so? I doubt that his post could be read to mean that there is no need to gather with other believers, I'm sure that all he has been saying is that the individual believer is responsible to the Lord for his personal decisions. It's irresponsible to constantly seek other children of God however more mature to take decisions for them. That is contra the Cross and contra everything Christ means.

I hope you understand.

m.k.o2005:

You said to him: ''Get your bible read it'' And i ask, if i finish studying my bible should i still fellowship with other believers or go to gatherings where we have other believers ? If yes, Why ? And if No please give me reasons as well !
Thank God i'm learning !
God help us

The bible is clear that we should fellowship with one another. It is necessary for rebuke, correction, edification, teaching, encouragement and growth. However we must be careful not to put the pastor or the "church" above God or his word. We must be like the Berean Christians. Many so called believers today do not believe the bible rather their pastors who come up with strange revelations that have no relevance to scriptures. One of such is the left behind series by Tim Layhe that has no bearing with the word of God or that people should dream and see visions before they choose who they will marry which is foreign to scriptures or the teachings of the apostles.
Another is that pastors are Levites and so they are entitled to tithes of fellow brethren, a complete disregard for the death of Christ and scriptures that clearly says in Christ there are no Jews let alone Levites.

We need to fellowship with fellow believers so that we do not get carried away by these doctrine of demons (another gospel) that are flying around in the media today and by which Christianity is defined unfortunately.

A man may preach for 2 hours only what the Spirit of God teaches you from the sermon is relevant to your spiritual growth otherwise it is just entertainment. Revelations chapters 1 -3 gives us an idea of how much a Christian church can become so cold that even Christ may have to stand behind the door knocking if someone in the church can open the door to him.

Hope it answers your questions