luvmijeje:
Keep shut! Who is he suppose to turn to,if not the mother of his children,the bone of his bone. He is no longer single and he should start acting that way.

Don't pay any attention to him, I'm sure most of the guys advising him to stick to his friend are surely or likely bachelors. This type of problem mostly occurs during the first two years in marriage when guys still act as if they can't be separated from their friends but when reality dawn on them(I.e having to provide for two to three kids+plus the wife and extended family) they adjust and start treating their wives as their number one family.

dayokanu:

People get choked and probably the OP is getting choked

The OP and this woman have no business being married to each other (OP has no business being married, period). They should divorce already and let us hear word abeg.

And you are a guy, you can always tell your guy after 30 mins that "o boy we go yarn next time, you know as madam be"
Your friend will understand .

Another word of advice you will have to shine your eyes well and be 2 steps ahead of her.
Someone who has told you that she will call police on you for assault when you did not do such , will more likely lock you up when she doesn't get her way.
Anytime you are quarrelling with her, record it on your iPhone, because when she calls the police, it's your words against her.
Also store the paper she wrote on about her threats, it might come in handy in the future.
Send her emails where she would be the one replying of her plans to call police on you or record your phone conversations about this threats, this might be handy.
In terms of house contribution, you are in the uk, every1 is equal, make sure the house contribution is half - half, so that in case of a worse scenario, you would not live your life regretting that you put in everything into the relationship, and she gets it all

ebyjoyken: how can you say that, for a marriage to last you have to give up alot of things. You are giving your friend so much attention and less attention to your wife. With the way you are sounding u don't care about ur marriage. What are you discussing with ur friend that u can't discuss once a week. Think before you make a terriable mistake.

EXACTLY!!!
This right here is my point. People have long time friends too.
My dad is likely like you and likes to talk i.e every conversation with this man on the phone is 1+ hours I kid you not. We have family friends. One in particular they went to boarding school together and have been buds since to the point of me living with them when I moved and they were almost like my 2nd parents.

If he and this his friend even talk once a week it would have even been too much because people are fawking busy man. More like every 2 weeks. Give time in between for actual NEW sh1t to happen to discuss over. But a week is just fine in your case.

Your wife is starved senseless. You do not understand what you are doing to her and you have chosen not to understand. Marriage ain't for little schoolyard boys. You should have an accurate understanding of a woman's unique needs before you put a ring on her. It's really not all about money and s3x as you seem to think. You will find that, more than anything else, emotional provision is the best thing you can give a woman. What you are doing to her is the equivalent of she starving you of sex! Get it into your thick skull and act right like the married man you are.

Granted she has problems, but you're not really holding up your side of things either. As a man you are to lead. Do what you should and those who follow you will mirror your actions and do theirs . If not, then that becomes a new discussion...

My brother,ur wife is ur wife n ur friend is ur friend.make a clear distinction btw d 2,but 4 heaven ske,don't let ur wife come btw u n ur friend(who's more like a brother 2 u.some of these women r real dangerous.since ur friend can make his wife understand dat u 2 r close,den same goes 4 ur wife.don't 4 whatever reason,part ways wit ur buddy!

How can you be talking with a man 2hrs everyday? Don't you get bored? There aint no way I'm talking that long with a guy if it's not money related and I can't do it everyday. Most especially when I'm married. 2hrs is a lot of time everyday to be on phone with the same person. Women need attention especially in marriage and you need to give her that.

dayokanu:

You cant interrupt a guy watching Sports oo. Dont even try it

How do you interrupt him if he is at the gym, bar or in the office whiling away time

People get choked and probably the OP is getting choked

Really, he chooses to be choked now that she is pregnant with their child, the woman made a mistake by asking for a divorce, but 2 wrongs don't make a right. A good friend will even tell him to reduce the calls to save his marriage

Ellashow:

Don't pay any attention to him, I'm sure most of the guys advising him to stick to his friend are surely or likely bachelors. This type of problem mostly occurs during the first two years in marriage when guys still act as if they can't be separated from their friends but when reality dawn on them(I.e having to provide for two to three kids+plus the wife and extended family) they adjust and start treating their wives as their number one family.

My dear,U said it all.Most times this so-called best friends/brothers who never allow a guy time for his wife are back-stabbers.Dayo's probably discussing Op's family behind him.I won't even advice Op's wife threaten him with divorce.No,she should simply pull or drag him out of that relationship since he obviously can't set his priorities right.I did the same o.I pulled and I pulled and I pulled...Nonsense.

Most women who are advising the OP to dump his best who BROUGHT him to UK and HELPED pay his bills are selfish,insecure and ingrate bunch. How many of u have really gone out of ur way to displease yourself and please ur best friend if u have ever had one? A man who contributed to your success and probably the reason why she married u. She does not care how u started in life, who helped u, all she cares for is who u have become. Neglecting all the sacrifices borne by ur friend. Maybe ur best friend never treated his siblings the same way. He's a great friend and don't leave him. Women are not like men, if their needs are not taken of by parents, then boyfriends , then husbands. As for men, if their needs are not met by their parents, male friends come in to help.

zeefa:

Well, I don't kw what to say as per your comment. I feel she is just getting jealous unnecessarily. As regards your suggestion, if she decided to pick up calls from any of her female friends too. Franklyspeaking, I won't mind if that will make her happy.
The person in question help her get the materials for her PLAB exams & other stuffz. This person is not just a friend but a brother from another woman ready to do anything for us as a family.

My dear, I can't be given u details of my family on NL. But he has done a lot for her too especially when she was pregnant. His wife don't really complain cos he told me he has warned her never to pokenose into our affair.

But my own wife seems to be strong headed that won't just listen or understand but all she intend to do is 2 dish out the threat of a divorce.

As I said, I will call both party to a meeting on sunday, then I will give the house details on our conclusion. I pray it works, but if things go wrong, I have no choice than to let her go. I respect her a lot & I love her and I don't expect such from a woman that care & love her husband.

Besides, am so grateful for all your advise & suggestions.

excuse me. what was d point of coming to nairaland since u wont have an open mind and listen to peoples' suggestions.u're just picking what u want to hear. my husband has a friend like dt.he comes to d house almost everyday!!and stays till late.which kin thing be dt one?abi na two men I marry? abeg,I told my husband and he toned it down bc me and my hubby are best friends and dt is how it should be.u're married for goodness' sake and somethings should be sacrificed! talking about letting ur wife go tells us about d kind of man u are

steph7: Really, he chooses to be choked now that she is pregnant with their child, the woman made a mistake by asking for a divorce, but 2 wrongs don't make a right. A good friend will even tell him to reduce the calls to save his marriage

So if it isnt the friends call would it be better if it was gym, Bar or work that he is spending the 2hours everyday?

Any woman who use the basis of RP to threaten divorce is not even worth it in the first place. The RP is probably the only positive thing she has

Women can never understand the concept of having a buddy, a brother from another mother. Hence, they get viciously jealous since they don't/can't have this, and they must kill it.
The more one reads on this site, the more I fear women, especially as they will wait until they are safely married to you before starting the torment.

BoboYekini: Women can never understand the concept of having a buddy, a brother from another mother. Hence, they get viciously jealous since they don't/can't have this, and they must kill it.
The more one reads on this site, the more I fear women, especially as they will wait until they are safely married to you before starting the torment.

The same reason its only women who have issues with MIL, friends calling, watching TV, everything.

I know a friend whose wife would rain fire and brimstone the moment his mother comes to visit for a week while the girls mother practically stays with them

Always complaining about one thing or the other

OP,

The advise you have got here so far is worth a million dollars.

Good friends are like stars. You know they are there BUT you may not see them often.

Also perhaps you don't understand women that much.

As it stands, your lady feels like she's only second in the pecking order of your life. Your mate is the first.

Now no woman wants to be no.2.

Talking to your mate daily is not necessary, let alone for 2 hours.

What in the name of pete are you discussing?
It is disrespectful to her. When do you even have time to romance her?

Calling a meeting of both families is immature. Why expose your wife to such embarassment?
Don't you think that could reduce your wife's person in the eyes of your friend? You have a duty to protect her pride as a wife.

Lol, at this point I must ask that age-old question: Is it a nigerian women thing?

dayokanu:

The same reason its only women who have issues with MIL, friends calling, watching TV, everything.

I know a friend whose wife would rain fire and brimstone the moment his mother comes to visit for a week while the girls mother practically stays with them

Always complaining about one thing or the other

But their families are God's greatest creatures to ever walk the planet earth!

adconline:

But their families are God's greatest creatures to ever walk the planet earth!

.

You see they grew up with their family and are sure of their love and goodwill. Of in-laws they can't be so sure. Just human nature.

As long as the man's relationship with his friend is not inordinate or harming the marriage in any way, a man or a woman shouldn't be asked to stop relating with others by their spouses. If anybody gives me such ultimatum, i will feel ill in the relationship as in trapped and bound. Nobody should be made to feel like that.

If she is jealous that the man is giving his buddy too much attention, the man should take correction and give her the attention that she deserves.

zeefa:

Well, I don't kw what to say as per your comment. I feel she is just getting jealous unnecessarily. As regards your suggestion, if she decided to pick up calls from any of her female friends too. Franklyspeaking, I won't mind if that will make her happy.
The person in question help her get the materials for her PLAB exams & other stuffz. This person is not just a friend but a brother from another woman ready to do anything for us as a family.

My dear, I can't be given u details of my family on NL. But he has done a lot for her too especially when she was pregnant. His wife don't really complain cos he told me he has warned her never to pokenose into our affair.

But my own wife seems to be strong headed that won't just listen or understand but all she intend to do is 2 dish out the threat of a divorce.

As I said, I will call both party to a meeting on sunday, then I will give the house details on our conclusion. I pray it works, but if things go wrong, I have no choice than to let her go. I respect her a lot & I love her and I don't expect such from a woman that care & love her husband.

Besides, am so grateful for all your advise & suggestions.

A-a-a-a-h Let her go ke? It hasn't reached the extent of your marriage breaking up because of your buddy. You don't seem like a couple that have much problems. Just give her more attention for now, she may be feeling that you adore that your male friend too much.

MacLovington: .You see they grew up with their family and are sure of their love and goodwill. Of in-laws they can't be so sure. Just human nature.

Do they think the man also deserve this kind of consideration to have a relationship with his family and friends he grew up with?

Or the man should forget his own roots but the wife keep her own?

the way some people take/make outside friendship stronger than their internal relationship is something else.

dayokanu:

Do they think the man also deserve this kind of consideration to have a relationship with his family and friends he grew up with?

Or the man should forget his own roots but the wife keep her own?

MacLovington: .

You see they grew up with their family and are sure of their love and goodwill. Of in-laws they can't be so sure. Just human nature.

And the man came from Mars with no family, friends and root?. Does it ever occur to them that men also view their family with suspicion.. they are either parasites or moochers

armyofone: the way some people take/make outside friendship stronger than their internal relationship is something else.

There is nothing shaking about this union, it's just that the woman is craving for total domination and encapsulation. His family is next!

Your wife threatening you with divorce is not proper. But at the same time , you should learn how to compromise, how about talking with your friend once a week for 4hours instead.And let her know that particular time is for your friend. I dont think both of you have proper communication. You complain your wife is stubborn ,i see you as being stubborn also.You don't see anything wrong with what you are doing , you are married now. Nobody is saying you should end your friendship, your wife probably feels left out. It takes people with matured minds to stay married. There is no point calling your friend, how many times does he call you to come and sort his marital problems. Sit your wife and talk with her, both of you should come to a compromise.

zeefa:

I agreed with your comment. But the truth is that we talk about so many things that will better our life. He helped me with the HSMP program I used 2 enter uk. We don't talk about girls or anything nasty. We talk about his projects, his challenges and I share mine with him. He always advise me even when my wife misbehaves. He is such a good friend and a brother.

. Mr man,nobody is askin u to cut d relationshp between u n ur friend but i bet it with u,everifin in lyf has limits,4 cryin out loud u r not a bachelor who wuldn't get bored alone n spends idle time with his frnd but u are MARRIED 4 God's sake,except u dont love ur wife wella else u av no reason to spend 2hrs on d fone with ur frnd everiday,@least u shuld av rounded up all u wana say by atmost 30mins... Pls sit down and tink about it. 4 dose hu r sayin if ur wife is not cmfortable wit it,u shuld divorce ha,i wuldn't blame dem bcz dey are d type d@ dont value dere women @hme n spend most of dere drinkin n clubing with frnds.. Pls wise up my bros. 1 luv

.....

All this plenty story and advise?

A WOMAN CAN NEVER BE SATISFIED!!! NEVER!!!

only try to manage them...my friend dis is just d begining o.

"managing her" is now totally left to ur discretion and wisdom...different woman different manual.

From your comment i doubt if u really care so much about your wife.Try and put yourself in her shoes.If u let her go will your friend become a mother to your children and come sleep with you at night.Even if u remarry i assure u dis problem will re occur.In marriage regardless of whatever your friend has done for u.Your wife is top priority even before ur parents not to talk of a friend.You need to reexamine yourself.Your attitude will make ur wife resent your friend all the more.

zeefa:

Well, I don't kw what to say as per your comment. I feel she is just getting jealous unnecessarily. As regards your suggestion, if she decided to pick up calls from any of her female friends too. Franklyspeaking, I won't mind if that will make her happy.
The person in question help her get the materials for her PLAB exams & other stuffz. This person is not just a friend but a brother from another woman ready to do anything for us as a family.

My dear, I can't be given u details of my family on NL. But he has done a lot for her too especially when she was pregnant. His wife don't really complain cos he told me he has warned her never to pokenose into our affair.

But my own wife seems to be strong headed that won't just listen or understand but all she intend to do is 2 dish out the threat of a divorce.

As I said, I will call both party to a meeting on sunday, then I will give the house details on our conclusion. I pray it works, but if things go wrong, I have no choice than to let her go. I respect her a lot & I love her and I don't expect such from a woman that care & love her husband.

Besides, am so grateful for all your advise & suggestions.

Why are people like this?
Must every solution teeter on the extreme?

Nobody is saying anybody should be dumped. These 2 guys can remain very good friends....just balance it...it's really simply to me. I'm sure the woman would want nothing better than that to have everybody be on good terms with each other, but provided you are mature enough to listen to her needs and not neglect her in the process or disregard BALANCE.

@OP Are you both talking business? Entrepreneural partnerships? Like I really don't get it...and I really don't get that you don't get it. She probably at this point is suspecting that you are a closet homo. I wouldn't blame her for this suspicion cuz you are exhibiting all the signs, especially for a married man. This is not an insult but a statement of fact. If you don't like it the sound of the fact, then change your behavior towards the situation and fawking grow up.

Cheers.

Had to reread the post to ascertain the OP's gender.

OP: we have a free calls to ourselves on O2 network. So we talk virtually everyday for more than two hour after work . And weekends,like saturdays, we move from weekend free landline to landline call to skype.

I think you are one big liar. All these dayo, morenikeji, MIL, pregnant renny, broken home, pastor, family meeting, the note, red passport, arrest & assault, it's not my story but my friends, DPR, KPMG things na Super Tori.

2buff: Why are people like this?
Must every solution teeter on the extreme?

Nobody is saying anybody should be dumped. These 2 guys can remain very good friends....just balance it...it's really simply to me. I'm sure the woman would want nothing better than that to have everybody be on good terms with each other, but provided you are mature enough to listen to her needs and not neglect her in the process or disregard BALANCE.

@OP Are you both talking business? Entrepreneural partnerships? Like I really don't get it...and I really don't get that you don't get it. She probably at this point is suspecting that you are a closet homo. I wouldn't blame her for this suspicion cuz you are exhibiting all the signs, especially for a married man. This is not an insult but a statement of fact. If you don't like it the sound of the fact, then change your behavior towards the situation and fawking grow up.

Cheers.

So if it was his family he was talking to for 2 hours he would turn from homo to closet incest,
Cant a guy have a life when married apart from look at your wife every damned minute without his sexuality being questioned? Is marriage supposed to be a jailterm where all you do is stare at each other 24-7?

While he is talking to his friend let the wife too get something doing and not turning on the stop clock counting minutes

Come to think of it poster, there may be more to this story than met the eye methinks.
If your wife isn't trying to be jealous or controlling, you can check whether there is another reason that she isn't telling you that is making her want you to cut your friend off. There may be a possiblility that your friend may have made advances to her that she may not want you to know about. You may have to look deeper than the surface to check whether there are other reasons like that. Things are not always as they seem, you know. I'm not concluding that that is what happened, just saying for you to check other motives behind it.
I mean I have heard such cases as a man wanting his wife's maid dismissed because he does not want to fall into the temptations of her attractive features, the reasons wasn't spelt out to the wife clearly and she was a s baffled as you are as to why the man wants the maid dismissed.