Kgdavid: grown men shuld not spend so much time talkin to each other on the phone, your wife probably feels ignored and neglected during that period!

after all the talk una talk from growing up , wetin una still dey talk....u shud be sharing those moments with ur wife and ur family as shes ur other half not ur boyhood friend.....hes no longer ur responsibillty...ur wife is!!!!seriously 2 hours phone calls and on weekends skype.... who the hell does that with a guy?

Hmm...
I don't see any reason why a spouse should ask you to dissociate from your friend of 15years or face divorce if the relationship between you both IS CLEAN.
In my opinion that's kind of harsh. Because from the way i see it he is like a brother and such kind of people are rare to find as well as such kind of friendship is rare.
She just feels threatened cos it appears you are closer to him than your wife and you don't give her attention.
The best solution is this, both you and your wife and your friend and his wife should all go out together on some retreat away from home and work and all and have a weekend of relaxation and then a round table conversation/discussion on one of the days where you guys deal with this issue squarely. Just let this retreat be like some kind of surprise.
I bet you after this retreat (if truly every one opens up and trashes this issue)things would change!

Since Dayo's wife is having same issue with your wife, then you guys are very lucky. Call your wives and have a meeting, just the 4 of you, and explain each other's history and give reasons why the friendship has to continue. If both wives accept it, which I believe they will, then its cool for the marriages, if not, then the women can go ahead with their threats. A man, has to be a man. Full Stop!

Please! Who's talkin about bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh?
These ar two dudes dat've got history.
A case scenario;
if Dayo needs a kidney transplant, who do u tink will giv his/hers witout a 2nd thought?
Dude, i wish u 2 friends were GAY!! Yes Gays.
Makes dis whole childish jealousy easier!!

Dayo shuld hav a fatal accident dat'll cripple him, den u'll see hw dis sweetheart of a wife will fly.
Hypocrits!!
Love is a mirage, but brotherhood is golden.
Ask d army boys!!

Don't u think if their is any strange things already attached in between ur wife and friend.as u said,u ve tried all means to appeal to her,friend always be a friend and number of years being together.u can also call ur friend and try to investigates without being knowing.God wil help u.

breh, your wife shouldnt bring up divorce, but i gotta ask you a question tho, how on earth do u stay on the phone with a nigga with a pri#ick for two hours? imma go straight to the point and ask, nigga are you ga*y? i dont talk to close male friends on the phone for two hours but i definately can play fifa with them for five hours. i mean, everyday?

I wnt to ask a question ooo. What if Dayo is OP's blood brother. Will d wifey complain cos I hv dis call ritual wit my sis every evening aftr wrk. Dnt tink my hubby will tell mi to stop talkin to my sis. Just my 2cents

luvmijeje:
Am I the only one seeing something or am I being dramatic.I rest my case here.

no be one thing fa I dey see plenty. Dnt u hv mind of ur own .

May be you forgot one thing that you are now married, so whatever that happen in that happen in the past between both of you kindly take as past event.then calling another persons wife on phone for hours is ridiculous and suspicious, well you a choice, either your wife or dayo.Now make a choice.

Donlittle: breh, your wife shouldnt bring up divorce, but i gotta ask you a question tho, how on earth do u stay on the phone with a nigga with a pri#ick for two hours? imma go straight to the point and ask, nigga are you ga*y? i dont talk to close male friends on the phone for two hours but i definately can play fifa with them for five hours. i mean, everyday?

Even if im be gay? So?
Dese ar two dudes dat built their lives 2geda, nt just fair weather friends.
If u've neva had such a friend, it'll b hard for u 2 undastnd. It's crazy, bro.

coogar:

i browsed through the whole section and nothing got my mind blown up.....and this is why i am challenging the best writers on there.



go and finish your iyawo nylon bag - i am not going anywhere. i am ready for this challenge anytime any day. it's one thing to write and it's another thing to intelligently fuse words together. ishilove, get ready for the ride of your life.......



what scholarly articles are you talking about? i might have forgotten there was something i ought to have provided. remind me, abeg! you are my favourite sparring partner cos i always win!



haaaaa.......mouth? boy? mouthful?
ishilove - it's like you don't remember i gave your friend a C-minus in the other thread you helped him post some weeks back. like i said, my pen game is out of this world. take your time and get back to me when you are ready for your trip to disneyland!

Your conceit is out of this world. I have dealt with people like you before; all hot air .One minute you challenge a whole section, the next you don't have our time again. Ha!

When it comes down to the nitty gritty, your type end up showing themselves to be filled with bluster, and nothing else.

I feel your wife probably knows something you are not telling us

WEL SPOKEN MY BROTHER!!!!! Give ur wives more attention and quit spending the whole time talking to ur friend. Ur new best friend is now ur wife and if possible call her too on phone !!!!!!!!!!

alutacontinua: Maybe u shld move dis to the family section. But then, seems lyk she might av her reasons. You come back from work, let's assume by 6.00pm and spend 2 hours with ur friend on phone. Let's assume u call ur parents and oda pple too for about about 1 hour too. Dt leaves about an hour or two with ur wife and children before u go to bed. Don't u think u might actually be putting ur friendship before ur family


Also, let's even assume u're ready to give up ut marriage for ur friendship, are u ready to sacrifice ur friend's fanily too since he said his wyf is complaining

I think u know u av a bit of fault, u just don't want to be told what to do bu ur wyf.

If u face ur wyf and give her attention, i doubt she actually would want to come in between u and ur best friend. U're both married now and dt means ur friendship has become secondary.

dayokanu:

Forgiveness? When she threatens because she has a trump card with her? Whats there to forgive.

The only reason the wife and the MIL are being unreasonable is because they felt they have him by the balls regarding the RP.

When the RP gets resolved they should return to the threat of the divorce simples

If the OP feels they are holding him to ransom because of RP, then he should tell them to pocket it!

I don't believe that anybody holds the keys to another's success in his/her hands. You feel I can't have RP without you? Shove it in your pocket!

I don't subscribe to him keeping a grudge and pretending with his wife till she gets him the RP and he then unleashes the dragon.

mentorken05: From what I read...I can say that he is more than a brother to you.let ur wife get dat into her head.Ask her why she hates him around and if there is no good reason from her,den don't listen to her.am sorry but as for me,I can't loose my brother from another mother special thanks to unmeaningless request from my wife... Meanwhile 1st to comment...dancing azonto

you either not married yet or you are one of those old school kind of husband that expect to religate their wife to the background.
Poster
Whatever you shared with your friend in the past is in the past. Friends do not need to talk for hours like lovers. How will you feel if your wife does same?
Both you and your friend need to grow up to the fact that you are now married and your family comes first.

A friend will always be a friend but getting married make ur priorities change. If ur friendship with him is making u not to fulfill ur marital duties like having time for ur family etc, then things should change atleast. There should be a balance between ur family and d outside world. Maybe she even feels jealous that u give more attention to ur friend than u give her and d family. Although she went to far with the divorce, but u have to step into her shoes 4 atleast a second.

@OP, if you will not take any advice from here, take this one: "brothers before hos".

plezant: I wnt to ask a question ooo. What if Dayo is OP's blood brother. Will d wifey complain cos I hv dis call ritual wit my sis every evening aftr wrk. Dnt tink my hubby will tell mi to stop talkin to my sis. Just my 2cents

what did u just say? Ur sister sheybi? U pple are girls and u can even gossip 4 two days. What are two grown up men talking abt 4 2hrs on d fone? Everyday 4 dat matter ooo! Haaaa! Even brothers cant do dat.

Your wife is angry because u spend too much time chatting with your friend while your wife feel sideline, neglected.
U need to balance the time u chat with your friend and your wife. Mend your communication break down with your wife o if not she go leave u.

A good friend is hard to find likewise a good wife. Try to bring in your wife sometimes into your clique that way she feels secure. Unless your friend it's a womanizer that's only when us women hate that type of friend hence they influence our hubby. That's not a reason to threaten divorce Biko.find your own friend and gist for hours while ignoring your hubby lets see how happy he will be.

BoboYekini: @OP, if you will not take any advice from here, take this one: "brothers before hos"

And who is the ho?

Please let your wife and that of Dayo get the life history of you both.
life is sweeter when there is LOVE. I am high impressed the way you guys comes along.
Mind you, other friends are not having it that nice. when a lady wants to deal with you, they will start from your extended family. Then, they will get down to push your own BLOOD away from you so that you can face the BATTLE alone with her.
If not while the threat

My brother i feel you.

I want to suggest just like some of reasonable people have adviced :

Ask her why she doesnt wants you around your brother(from another mother),remember you must not do this why she is upset.

God will see you through.

luvmijeje:
Keep shut! Who is he suppose to turn to,if not the mother of his children,the bone of his bone. He is no longer single and he should start acting that way.

When things go sour and he turns to the wife. Are u sure the wife will b supportive without been silly

alutacontinua:

And out of dt tym dt u're together, u spend 2 hours EVERYDAY speaking with ur friend while she just watches
How about she also decides to spend 2 hours lyk dt with her own friends, most likely after u end ur own call, she picks up her phone and starts making her own calls too


I am not saying u should not remain friends with ur friend, but 2 hours everyday out of 24 hours with a friend for a married man is just waaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy outta line! If it's a once in a while thingy, it's a different case entirely.

True, there should b a balance

Whaaaat! Dis man never settle his case! Nawaaa o!

Sir...thanks for this whole story.but you are on the vedge of losing your relationship if you permit friendship to interrupt your home affair.
Pls talk issues with your wife and get it into her that you really love her and will need her to understand with you in this matter.
Reduce your long hour conversation with dayo and make your wife feel loved

Why are most women in the business of always trying to change guys? Maybe the husband should be taking to his ex- girlfriends

zeefa: I don't really know how to handle this case cos its becoming a huge problem between me & my wife. I have tried to play it to the best of my knowledge but the situation is not getting in anyway better.

I & dayo have been friends for more than 15yrs. We grew up together those days in Ibadan and fortunately, we attended the same university to study different courses. We were in the same faculty of Engineering but different department.

The university I attended is without school accommodation, so we got an apartment close to eachother & sometimes he comes to my place & I go there too.

He loves Beans a lot back then and he happens 2 b a good cook. So most times, I visited him cos of the beans, laced up with Gari egba @ night.

However, we graduated & I was posted to delta state while he went to IMo state. Even at that, he comes to my place. I served in an oil & Gas company and we had enough money to spend.

I used to give him enough money those days cos he was given just a small allawe which cnt take care of all his needs.

After our youth service, I was retained & he moved to the uk for his masters courtesy of the little money I made during my service year.

After 3yrs, I moved too curtesy of him & he helped with part of the bills cos he was working and studying then.

He got married and after about a year I got to uk and I did mine too almost immediately.

But lately, I have been having issues with my wife over the closeness between me & dayo. we have a free calls to ourselves on O2 network. So we talk virtually everyday for more than two hour after work. And weekends,like saturdays, we move from weekend free landline to landline call to skype.

Just yesterday my wife warned me to desist from such altitude or face divorce.

Please, I need decent people in the house to advise me. I can't ask him to stop calling me or visiting me. He once told me about his wife having similar problem with our friendship too. We are just normal friends with no string attached.

Do I call both families together to resolve it or ignore the threat from my wife.

Thanks so much for taken your time to read.

dear i envy your friendship honestly. its rare to have such friend without betrayal.
i am the only daughter and all my life i have been looking for a friend that will be more than a sister to me , though i have such friend but honestly not to this extent.

nobody is wrong btw u and ur wife and nobody is to be blamed, but the two weakness in play here is jealousy and communication gap.
just try to sit her down and ask her some questions ,let her know how he had helped you, be transparent enough to her regarding your discussions with your lovely friend, if possible get her involved in the discussion. make it a family friend affair, i believe you trust your wife and friend so much , some times let your friend call your wife and communicate with her, and u too do same but LET IT BE AS TRANSPARENT AS POSSIBLE.
I DIDNT SEE ANY MUCH ISSUE OR DIFFICULTIES IN THIS MATTER. YOUR LOVELY WIFE IS JUST BEIGN A WOMAN AND A WIFE AS SHE SUPPOSE TO BE, SHE IS NEVER AGAINST YOUR FRIENDSHIP, SHE IS ONLY AGAINST HOW YOU GO ABOUT IT.
NEVER THINK OF DIVORCING HER AT ALL,
IF THE WORST COME, DISCUSS WITH YOUR FRIEND, HE WILL DEFINITELY UNDERSTAND, U WELL SAID THAT HER WIFE WAS COMPLAINING TOO, AND HE TOLD YOU. THIS REQUIRES AN OPEN SOLUTION

alutacontinua: Maybe u shld move dis to the family section. But then, seems lyk she might av her reasons. You come back from work, let's assume by 6.00pm and spend 2 hours with ur friend on phone. Let's assume u call ur parents and oda pple too for about about 1 hour too. Dt leaves about an hour or two with ur wife and children before u go to bed. Don't u think u might actually be putting ur friendship before ur family


Also, let's even assume u're ready to give up ut marriage for ur friendship, are u ready to sacrifice ur friend's fanily too since he said his wyf is complaining

I think u know u av a bit of fault, u just don't want to be told what to do bu ur wyf.

If u face ur wyf and give her attention, i doubt she actually would want to come in between u and ur best friend. U're both married now and dt means ur friendship has become secondary.

Bull! A marriage and a friendship are totally different roles, I wish I had a friend like Dayo sef. Women are just jealous of every shadow I can imagine what would happen if Dayo was a woman! The world would have burned down be that!

Frm d look of things it seems u spend more time wit ur frnd than ur wife and for dat reason she get jealous(u knw we women na). In other for her to know who u really value and loved,she threaten u wit a divorce. But nt too worry all u nid to do is to call the two families together by tellin d wifes all dat trespass b/w u both right frm d beginin as inform of makin d two women knw u both started b4 dey came in. Bt mind u let d meetin b durin ur frnd and his wife visitation,in other for u nt to bring ur wife down. Bt if after d meetin she insist on divorce,then let her do dat on her own. But probably she has a strong reasons 4 dat, which might be dat she had once dated ur frnd b4 and she is now afraid of ur frnd tellin u all dat happened. Just b wise and dnt let wat u build for many yrs to jus b washed away for jus a second.