I broke up with my ex about 5 months ago while we were in a long distance relationship. Had to do it over the phone. He called me up yesterday talking about him coming back to my city in a few weeks and wanting to talk. He was saying things such as "When we speak in person, I will know how you really feel, I will be able to tell how whats in my heart, and I will if its over or not" and talking about how we are really good friends now since I broke his heart.

As if he doesn't believe its over until I break up with him in person.

At this point, I'm just ready to give him back his stuff he left at my place and wish him well on his life.

My question is how can I do this correctly?

You brokeup with him because of the distance or because you'v gotten a replacement Clearify!

Sijo01: You brokeup with him because of the distance or because you'v gotten a replacement Clearify!

Good question babe

Sijo01: You brokeup with him because of the distance or because you'v gotten a replacement Clearify!

neither, I realized I don't want to marry him and it felt like we were heading in that direction

KateSpade:

neither, I realized I don't want to marry him and it felt like we were heading in that direction

op do u still have feelings for him

190: katie are u nigerian

no

butta: op do u still have feelings for him

yes, some. however, i still don't believe we are right for each other.

KateSpade:

no

ok

When he comes to your city, meet him at a public place, like a park, and take his things along with you. Find a bench, sit him down and tell him it's best for the two of you to part. Give him your main reason/s for making your decision. Be respectful but firm when you speak. In giving him your reason/s, you would help him get some closure too. Since he's someone who doesn't want to let go, it's likely he wouldn't agree with your reasons, BUT HE DOESN'T NEED TO! It doesn't matter whether he agrees with you or not; or thinks you're making a huge mistake. You're making a decision for yourself and you need to be firm with it. Give him his things, tell him "good luck with everything" or whatever else you want your parting words to be and leave. Hope that works, lol. Good luck.

KateSpade: I broke up with my ex about 5 months ago while we were in a long distance relationship. Had to do it over the phone. He called me up yesterday talking about him coming back to my city in a few weeks and wanting to talk. He was saying things such as "When we speak in person, I will know how you really feel, I will be able to tell how whats in my heart, and I will if its over or not" and talking about how we are really good friends now since I broke his heart.

As if he doesn't believe its over until I break up with him in person.

At this point, I'm just ready to give him back his stuff he left at my place and wish him well on his life.

My question is how can I do this correctly?

...sweeery u nid to sleep wit me quick so we can PUNISH HIM!! ..r u light skin?

Yield: When he comes to your city, meet him at a public place, like a park, and take his things along with you. Find a bench, sit him down and tell him it's best for the two of you to part. Give him your main reason/s for making your decision. Be respectful but firm when you speak. In giving him your reason/s, you would help him get some closure too. Since he's someone who doesn't want to let go, it's likely he wouldn't agree with your reasons, BUT HE DOESN'T NEED TO! It doesn't matter whether he agrees with you or not; or thinks you're making a huge mistake. You're making a decision for yourself and you need to be firm with it. Give him his things, tell him "good luck with everything" or whatever else you want your parting words to be and leave. Hope that works, lol. Good luck.

Yeah... That's more like it gurl

Yield: When he comes to your city, meet him at a public place, like a park, and take his things along with you. Find a bench, sit him down and tell him it's best for the two of you to part. Give him your main reason/s for making your decision. Be respectful but firm when you speak. In giving him your reason/s, you would help him get some closure too. Since he's someone who doesn't want to let go, it's likely he wouldn't agree with your reasons, BUT HE DOESN'T NEED TO! It doesn't matter whether he agrees with you or not; or thinks you're making a huge mistake. You're making a decision for yourself and you need to be firm with it. Give him his things, tell him "good luck with everything" or whatever else you want your parting words to be and leave. Hope that works, lol. Good luck.

thanks.

KateSpade: I realized I don't want to marry him and it felt like we were heading in that direction

You all of a sudden REALIZED? I believe there will be a special place in HELL for time wasters. Please "date" only people you CAN marry, there will be a lot less heart breaks, acid baths and damaged emotions. Long distance sucks!

Why do you want to return his things? Are the things that expensive or you've never got him something before? That bit seems childish to me. Or are the things his own personal things?

Anyways, before you go and meet him as planned, you have to be 100% sure of what you want. Sit down and weigh your options again, if you're sure that you don't wanna be with him again, just let him know that and drop all forms of feelings at home when you're going (guilt, passion, pity, anger etc). He's gonna use all methods but you have to be firm and polite. You might want to have a plan for s*x too, do you want a good-bye one or not? If not, maybe you wanna have the talk in a public place and not his house or some private place.

nenergy:
You all of a sudden REALIZED? I believe there will be a special place in HELL for time wasters. Please "date" only people you CAN marry, there will be a lot less heart breaks, acid baths and damaged emotions. Long distance sucks!

I didn't all of a sudden realize and distance wasn't the factor, mainly it was trust. The distance did allow me to overall reflect on the relationship though.

alutacontinua: Why do you want to return his things? Are the things that expensive or you've never got him something before? That bit seems childish to me. Or are the things his own personal things?

Anyways, before you go and meet him as planned, you have to be 100% sure of what you want. Sit down and weigh your options again, if you're sure that you don't wanna be with him again, just let him know that and drop all forms of feelings at home when you're going (guilt, passion, pity, anger etc). He's gonna use all methods but you have to be firm and polite. You might want to have a plan for s*x too, do you want a good-bye one or not? If not, maybe you wanna have the talk in a public place and not his house or some private place.

They are personal items.

I do feel a bit guilty but that's not a reason to stay in a relationship.

and yikes to the good-bye s*x. That's not happening.

KateSpade:

yes, some. however, i still don't believe we are right for each other.

There must be a reason(s) for that. You wanna share...... Heartbreak now be child's play o, so be careful.

Sijo01:

There must be a reason(s) for that. You wanna share...... Heartbreak now be child's play o, so be careful.

He has a lot of redeeming qualities but he doesn't trust me and he is insecure. I know a lot of it stems from his past relationships [he has been cheated on in the past]. I didn't notice it much before the distance because he didn't bring it up too much and I have a tendency of thinking people are joking when they say things I think are absurd. Also, it became a topic in every conversation we had while he was gone. (Questioning me about my whereabouts, who I spend my time with, clothing, saying ppl are putting thoughts in my head). If he felt like he couldn't trust me, he shouldn't have agreed to be in the relationship. No need to waste your money calling me and my money calling you.

He also believes my culture is an issue but he has been aware of that before we even started the relationship. And I did take his concerns to heart and changed a few things for the sake of the relationship but there's only so much a person can bend until they break. If that was such an issue then I shouldn't have been the first woman to meet your mother, and hang around with your brothers and sisters.

He is incapable of making a decision of what he wants and I'm a lot more upfront and I need to be with someone who is decisive. I cannot see myself marrying someone who doesn't trust me and is indecisive, its just not going to happen.

/end rant

KateSpade:

They are personal items.

I do feel a bit guilty but that's not a reason to stay in a relationship.

and yikes to the good-bye s*x. That's not happening.

You might want to work on that guilt before you meet him. If he senses that in you and he's a smart guy, he's gonna use your guilt against you. So, if your mind is made up, drop the guilt at home when you're going. It's your decision and you don't have to feel guilty for it. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. If that is what is best for both of you, then, there's nothing to feel guilty about. You could apologize for wasting his time, though...

alutacontinua:

You might want to work on that guilt before you meet him. If he senses that in you and he's a smart guy, he's gonna use your guilt against you. So, if your mind is made up, drop the guilt at home when you're going. It's your decision and you don't have to feel guilty for it. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. If that is what is best for both of you, then, there's nothing to feel guilty about. You could apologize for wasting his time, though...

thanks!
that apology ain't happening tho.

KateSpade:

no

Good.

Realized I forgot to update this

Ex returned. Met up with him, gave him back his stuff.He acted as if we never broke up. Calling all the time, wanting to see me, inviting me to family events. Let about a week pass to see if any strong feelings arose, they didn't. So I told him to stop calling and that we can't be friends.

nenergy:
You all of a sudden REALIZED? I believe there will be a special place in HELL for time wasters. Please "date" only people you CAN marry, there will be a lot less heart breaks, acid baths and damaged emotions. Long distance sucks!

Most people go into relationships with the best intentions and hopes, but things don't always work out the way we want. It's better to get out of it than stay out of guilt.

It pays to be a player,no time for all these shiiit.
After they still believe that love exists,can you just imagine this?
Fucccck love!