You know the guys that send you cryptic messages when what they really want to do is break up with you. Rather than just saying it, they come up with a line which is not meant to hurt your feelings, but makes you feel
worse when you really know what they are saying?

The ultimate best line is, "It's not you, it's me." They actually do mean it is you. It is never them.

Then there is the, "I need a break. Some space and time for myself." The message is actually, " You are smothering me. I don't want to be with you.
I'd rather be single."

Another doozy would have to be, "I have a really busy schedule right now and a complicated life at the moment." Why doesn't he just admit that you are not the only woman he is seeing and juggling them all is just getting to be too much? He is feeling the need to narrow down the women in his life and you are not on the finals list.

How about, "I need to spend more time with my friends and go back to having my guys nights out." Obviously he would rather get drunk with a bunch of foolish, single men, than to spend a romantic evening with you. Good riddance to him.

A real put down is, " I think of you as a sister." How lame is that? Why did he ask you out in the first place? Does he actually have an incestuous bone in his body?

The final piste resistance must be, "I'm no longer attracted to you as I once was." How about just coming right out and telling us that they had no idea why they went out with us in the first place?

Men, just come right out and tell us what you really mean so that we are not forced to read between the lines. It will save every one from a lot of torture.

You are on a roll today!

How about, "I was in a serious relationship before and was hurt so I'm still trying to get over that."

Why not just say, "I just want sex with no commitment."

I hope they really don't think we fall for these lines.

i said it before and i will keep saying it men are difficult to understand sometimes even worse than women

@seun if that is d case then women are also easy to understand but men do not make the effort.. we want sex, food, comfort, love... and men are only stonger physically that is about it, well there are some women that are stonger than men even physically...we women are stonger mentally, emotionally and in every way possible. remember we women actually rule the world. with every successful man is a woman.....

You are very right, Seun. Men just want sex and food. Status and respect falls in there as well. But I do think that women are a bit more complex.

Dont blame the men, it is a dog eat dog game.
Women are full of shakara, so wisemen have learnt how to beat them to their game, especially Nigerian girls, especially those that live abroad, they want to be more than the Oyinbo themselves.
Jo chop their Congo clean mouth as if though nothing happen-ala Fela.

Men need to understand the total make-up of a woman just as women need to understand how a man thinks.

dablessed:

Men need to understand the total make-up of a woman just as women need to understand how a man thinks.

No man can ever understand a woman, it is needless trying.
As for the man , how simple. All a man thinks about a woman is as an object of pleasure.
If you doubt me fall prey, after the orange juice is sucked dry, you will end up in the bin bag.

[glow=red,2,300]There is more respect in a man coming outright and saying whatever he has on mind. It might hurt but believe me with time the woman would respect such a man, instead of beating about the bush. Brothers in the house ponder on this![/glow][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

I hardly debate on gender issues because i believe everybody is different. No man is exactly like the other. Same for ladies. Remeber,ladies jilt as well. I wouldnt say all ladies are promiscous just because i see prostitues everywhere. I detest generalization. We r all different.
I'll be angry if my girl tells me u men do this and that. Its means she doesnt see me but 'men' which defeats d purpose of our relationship. It should be personal. Talk to LAYI (not men).
U ladies get the wrong catch because most times u give out the wrong signals.
I have seen relationships fail and i've seen many more blossom. There'll always be friction even in normal friendships.
Take your time and date your 'BEST FRIEND'. Dont just hop in and out. Its worth the wait.

"Take your time and date your best friend."

That has to be the line of the day when it comes to this. You are so correct.

Thanx vexxy.. and u r so prettyrrect too. I mean u r pretty sorry correct. In fact both. Thanks anyway.

I want food, yes, true.
I want sex, yes, true.
But I want love too. And I want to be happy with someone. And sometimes, I just want some pleasure...

But will you ladies actually consent if a guy comes outright and says he wants to have sex with you. The answer is a definite "no" in about 90% of the cases. And I won't just ask for that straight away. I need to get to know the person I'm dealing with better before we start taking things further.

And another thing is with most women, there's a lot of emotional attachment to sex. It's something taken very seriously, and thus, their so-called "shakara", and their hard-to-get ways...

Oh well.

@ layi: Thank you

@ shockreaction: I have no doubt that men want love, we all do at some point. But I find that a lot of men, not all, feel they are loved through sex. There is no doubt that sex is important in a relationship (marriage) but to just give it away to every girlfriend or "sex partner" is not the way to truly find happiness and/or lasting pleasure.

If a man comes right out and asks for sex, I would think that he does not care about me or even wants to care about me. He is just looking to satisfy his needs. I would see him as being selfish, rude, and disrespectful. So when you said that 90% of women would say no, I believe that.

Lets stop all this very long talk.
Seun i quite agree with you 100%

I will like to add a little something.
Men need essentially 2 things, Sex and Food. When they are not doing either, they are thinking about it, Unless they are sleeping(in which case they are dreaming about both too). Men if u ask me are simple to understand. Guyz love sex, food and (sleep,or more sex or more food as the case may be). That is just guyz 4 u.
But this does not mean that they are not capable of loving.

I believe that, sage.

About the topic, My guy-friend once told me, Nice pants (trouser), but i bet it'd look better as my foot mat. I was ....i later saw it on the net, and i realised it was a joke. But i got so mad at him, and i just couldn't understand why he said my pant would be better as his foot mat.

Men are like so unpredictable if you cant predict them. You feel me right?

i feel u girl.

They are impossible.
the best way to understand men is by not trying to understand themat all.
if not you will go gaga.

Are ladies predictable?

No.

In my own opinion, very many of men want sex as women also do. It doesn't mean all they want is sex.

@ vexxy
Good.

Diff folks for diff ppl.
This shouldnt be a topic anyway cos ladies r guilty of same..

Layi, you are right. Both men and women are guilty for not saying what they mean, and not meaning what they say.

Or as to not make a generalization like that, some men and some women are guilty of these things as well.

bobs.. this just the truth and nothing but it... u r damn right.. but most of the time u force us to do that ? u know...
but ill never and never be a man like that anymore after all i've been through
paso

Guys pls why the pissing contest, uv come around to that age old BS argument that women are better than men and vice versa. This is an age old BS argument that no side ever wins. Generalisations really are the source of all the agro btw the sexes. Really i pity the women who think that all men are the same with the same behavioural patterns and so therefore they do not need to understand their man (if uv seen 2 can play that game wit morris chestnut n vivica fox ul get my drift). if u dont take the effort dont complain wen the sh..t hits the fan. besides wats wrong with breakin up with a woman? must we marry every woman we date? is a relationship a prison? am sure even the women wont want that.

A relationship is about discovery its not a prison sentence, pple change, cos a man once said he loves u and that changes that doesnt mean he lied at the time, it may just mean that his feelings hav changed so do u now chain the guy down? no, u let him go!. u may think me selfish but really, if i find out i dont jell with a woman i make for the door; if my reasons are deemed inappropriate, so be it!

Women like to assume too many things; for instance, even when in a "fling" which a partner knows that its all about the sex and nothing else, my experience is that if ur the kind of guy who can afford some of the good things in life, do ur "business" very well and u treat the woman like a lady, she will begin to think things that will only lead to her hurt in the end.

lastly i think wen there is a break up there is too hasty a move to condem the man, from my experience, women usually hav their fair share of the blame, it is thus simply escapist to blame the men alone, why not try thi, wen next any of u girls suffers a break up, sit down think it thru mayb u did som things wrong, mayb the signs were there that u were nt compatible bt for reasons best known to u, u decided to forge on, basically learn something copnstructive from the break up and pls stop lashing out at men as the cause of all ur problem its simply unproductive.

Men r............. oh what can I say? The topic seems exhausted. Women r ............ Nothing's coming to this head of mine.

Men r not predictable. No that's not true cos my father is predictable. When I was a child, When I did a thing, I know almost always know what my father would do to me.

So, I therefore say, some men r predictable whereas most r not.

For women, I think they r mostly unpredictable and r 2 b held responsible for a 6o% of every break up.

when some men say they love u,than they really love you

but not all of them to be trusted

Thank's for putting your message out. I am a newly single after 6.5 yrs. He told me he needed his space, but still wanted to go out together. I am confused by this. Why? Because I realize that when a man tells a woman that he "needs his space" that he is wants to do his "own thing." Is he trying not to hurt me more than he already has by saying he still wants to date? I hope someone has an answer.

Most of the time when they say the need space they probably mean they want to do something but if you know the kinda guy he is have faith.

well in my own point i belive when u see a gurl thats is kinda serious for relationship, it might take a longer period for her to say yes to you, not asif she is not intrested, just wanna be carefull, When a Guy tells a lady "I LOVE YOU" he might mean what he says, why gurls feels "shit thats not true".

A gurl once asked me how many ladies have i told " i love you" and what went wrong ?? you see a gurl belives that in any break-up in relationship, it's the fault of the guy, men i don't belive that cos it really from the ladies,

So i do belive men do really mean what they say to ladies only the fools who likes playing with heart. yarn bolls