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Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Poll: Should wives have to submit and obey?

Yes: 79% (39 votes)
No: 20% (10 votes)
This poll has ended

How Many Ladies Can Act Like This Lady If They Catch Their Husbands Cheating? / Husbands Who Demand Their Wives Submit Their Salaries To Them / Ephesians 5:22: Wives, Submit To Your Husbands As To The Lord (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by DaHitler(m): 12:58pm On May 18, 2006
Exactly, summit to your husbands. And by the way, do not complain once you start getting hit.

Happy Marriage. grin
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by alheri(f): 9:51am On May 19, 2006
@ono, how I go forget you my brother? Am doing okay, just been outta town and a little busy lately. You were only try to back up your opinions which you've got a right to.

@Afeni, sorry to say but what a dumb statement that was or should I say equation, SUBMMISION=GETTING HIT? OMG, LOL, you make yourself sound so ST*P*D!
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Allwell(m): 11:31am On May 19, 2006
i don't know what which 'good book" the author of this post may have in mind but I'd know that the Bible talks about wives submitting themselves to their husband and husband loving their wives as Christ love the church.

Now if you take that into perspective, that doesn't say women should be slaves. Christ died for us all (his church), so the husband should be able to show similar love. The husband need not take the bullet to show he love his wife, but he can show his love by doing the dishes, picking the kids from school, bathing 'em, telling them bed time stories and praying with the family.

And my dear pals, if you think these things are not possible, i can say they are cos my Dad did all that and even more, and cos of this, my mom sure loves him. they've been married for more than 20 years and still counting!

We must not be cynical about the scriptures but study it with an open mind. The bible talks about the sheep being in submission to the shepherd and the shepherd loving the sheep. Husband love your wife and vice versa. Peace
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by babymine(f): 11:44am On May 19, 2006
Yes they should. Being submissive doesn't mean you have to be foolish or stupid.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Skidoc(m): 12:43pm On May 19, 2006
babymine:

Yes they should. Being submissive doesn't mean you have to be foolish or stupid.

But that's what it literarily means. If the question is "should wives be supportive, cooperative or any other word that doesn't suggest subservience, then yes! But submissive? NO! Even I still prefer helper/helpful/helpmeet/helpmate to "submissive".
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by nkechy: 2:37pm On May 19, 2006
wives submi to y not well dont let him ride though we r in a jet age brodda luna fish tongue
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Nalijah(f): 3:09pm On May 19, 2006
I shall remain submissive it hasn't hurt me yet.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Nalijah(f): 3:11pm On May 19, 2006
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Afeni said, "I do not like submissive women. I like my women more on the independent side."

Afeni you want woman to boss you around o! cheesy
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by DaHitler(m): 3:56pm On May 19, 2006
Independent is not even remotely related to bossing around. shocked
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mide2(f): 11:01pm On May 19, 2006
Being submissive to a Loving husband will definitely DO NO HARM BUT GOOD.
Not being a dunce or an irritating fool, but a submissive wife that any loving man will feel confident to let her operate even his life machine/ ventilator.
My mom has being submissive for 27 years and as a witness, she has never being in the shadows/backseat, she's always being beside my dad at the wheel and its being the most pleasurable ride to say the least.
i would definitely follow suite. Eni bi ni la jo ( You've got to take after your parent, so to speak)
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 9:52am On May 20, 2006
The woman taht lives downstairs gets bashed von her husband everyday.
she has lost the one or other tooth. and she stays with her husband.
I thing her children schould be like her .
The son should beat up his wife and the daughter should get beating up.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by goodguy(m): 4:21pm On May 20, 2006
Mamaput, it's either you're not reading/understanding people's posts here, or you're deliberately ignoring their true meanings. Which one is it?!
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 5:29pm On May 20, 2006
( You've got to take after your parent, so to speak
)
what dose this statement mean
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Nia: 9:52pm On May 20, 2006
mamaput:

The woman taht lives downstairs gets bashed von her husband everyday.
she has lost the one or other tooth. and she stays with her husband.
I thing her children schould be like her .
The son should beat up his wife and the daughter should get beating up.

LOL
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by goodguy(m): 10:10pm On May 20, 2006
mamaput:

)
what dose this statement mean


That conclusion was to back up the post that she made. It's not meant to be applied generally.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mide2(f): 10:16pm On May 20, 2006
mamaput:

)
what dose this statement mean


Mamaput, i've not known you to read lines in posts in isolation of the whole paragraph. I only translated the yoruba adage i posted into English so that the non yoruba speaking would be carried along.
And if i may ask, which part of ''So to speak don't you understand ? I couldn't get to translate the yoruba saying correctly with its meaning unaltered was why i put the ''so to speak''
Wake up, my dear, it's 10'oclock, I know you know where it is.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 10:49pm On May 20, 2006
I do not want to take after my parents and i do not want my kids to take after me.I want them to be better than me.

I am not your dear just for the record
and am not your mate i can sleep as long as i like.
once more your statement
You've got to take after your parent, so to speak)
what is there in so to speak about it.

And one more thing you know nothing about me
Your Yoruba proverb is the backup to the whole statement you made ,Is that not what you have said all along you want to be like your parents.
Thats good for you .
But you must accept that there are people that think different .
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by goodguy(m): 11:00pm On May 20, 2006
Mamaput, you have to note the context in which she made that statement. That way, you wouldn't have to get yourself worked up over nothing.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 11:08pm On May 20, 2006
Its not her statement that is annoying me but the personal insults.
whatdose she mean by wake up
and what dose she mean by my dear
Did i insult her in anyway tell me.?

she should attack my statement and not me thats just it.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by goodguy(m): 11:13pm On May 20, 2006
In support of your notion about not submitting yourself to any man, your posts implied that you started taking things personal, especially when you seemed not to agree with any lady who would submit to her husband. Therefore, I wouldn't blame her for playing along also.

In any way, I'll leave you two to sort out your differences. Shalom!
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mide2(f): 11:22pm On May 20, 2006
I don't insult people , and i certainly wouldn't start with you.
Good to know though that you're not my mate, and you are not my dear, points noted.
Abt the adage, it was to drive home my point, and you or anybody is entitled to your opinion and your wishes.
I wasn't attacking you as you put it, but was only replying your post. I DON'T DO INSULTS.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 11:34pm On May 20, 2006
@goodguy
I did not expect anyother statement from you .

Ihope you keep your promise and stay out.
No one here is related to be so why should i take anything personal.
I take things personal when people start getting personal.
And its my good right to be faithful to myself.
At my age i see things in a different light. My mates have different problems in their marrage than they did with 20 30. Am fed up of seeing the wife taking the blame for everything and the man goes free all in the name of submitt, tolerate , and endure.
A man beats up the wife :yes she must have done something wrong
The nabours call the police ; why the hell did she have to shout so loud scandal
At the end of the day its called knell down and beg him.
I have enough problems of my own .
Do you know how many times i have taken women to the hospital
How often i listen to their tales of woe all in that name?
I even landed in hospital myself not because of a wife basher but because their problems did not become my stomach,.(Ulser).
After that i put a stop to it i do not listen to any husband wife problem and i take nobody to any were.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by gigitte(f): 11:35pm On May 20, 2006
the first poster is grossly misguided, in reading the post below, please remember that two kinds of differently but equal important submissions are being asked of her. the woman's submission might seem to be only thing mentioned, but if you are a mature adult, you will see that a reciprocity is being asked of the man, one deep and layerful in meaning. i found the article below to be excellent. submission here is something beautiful, i love and cherish you so much that i give myself up to you


[b]Submission of wives to husbands

Certain passages of Paul speak about authority and submission. In today's Church, influenced by feminist thinking, these passages are not at all popular. In fact, they are often edited by rectors during Mass so as not to "offend" females in the congregation. The passages are Colossians 3:18-20 and Ephesians 5:22-32.

Both passages start out with the thorny teaching that wives should be submissive to their husbands. The Letter to the Ephesians says:

"Wives should be submissive to their husbands as if to the Lord because the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of his body the church, as well as its savior. As the church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church. He gave himself up for her to make her holy, purifying her in the bath of water by the power of the word to present to himself a glorious church, holy and immaculate, without stain or wrinkle or anything of that sort.

"Husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Observe that no one ever hates his own flesh; no, he nourishes it and takes care of it as Christ cares for the church—for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and the two shall be made into one.' This is a great foreshadowing; I mean that it refers to Christ and the church" (Eph. 5:22-32).

No one likes the idea of submission. Pride rebels against it, and it is possible that being submissive could lead to exploitation. In our day it is believed that one who is submissive lacks dignity. Such a person is giving up his rights and permitting himself to be oppressed. Submission is for caves, not free people. It is to be avoided at all costs.

Yet women are told that they are the ones who are supposed to be submissive—and to their husbands, no less! Many modern exegetes simply dismiss these Pauline verses as historically conditioned. They argue that, at the time Paul was writing, submissiveness was a woman's lot, and the apostle was merely articulating this outdated ethic. Since women had no authority, the only thing they could do was be submissive. Authority was solely in the hands of men. Thus male authority is equated with power—the evil power of patriarchy.

It is a mistake to believe that these Pauline passages are theologically outdated, fit only for cutting with the feminist razor. Rather they should be understood in light of the <real> meaning of authority. Not only are we in desperate need of a good theology of submission, but we are in need of a good theology of male authority based on the teaching of Ephesians 5. Yes, wives are instructed to be submissive to their husbands, because the husband is head of his wife as Christ is head of the Church, but the husband is also instructed to love his wife.

What does love mean but to give oneself over to another? The husband is to <give himself up> for his wife as Christ gave himself up for the Church. This is a form of submission—a form as deep and as serious as the submission of wives. The husband's reciprocal submission to his wife is the only way her submission could make any sense. In the Christian religion, obedience and submission to another's authority is never due to tyranny or despotism, but to love and a covenant between persons that respects the freedom of each.

If these Pauline passages are historically conditioned, they are so only in that their author bluntly states the duty of the wife. According to that culture, female submission was nothing new. What is new (and entirely changes the meaning of feminine submission) is Paul's instruction to husbands.

John Paul calls the teaching of Ephesians the "Gospel Innovation" because for the first time the truth about men and women is revealed. A <mutual submission> exists between spouses.[20] The wife is not to submit to a spouse who lords his authority over her. Not at all! He is instructed to give himself up for her. In the Christian dispensation, husbands are expected to do something entirely new based on the example of Christ and the sacramental role of the husband in making Christ real in the world: fully to serve their wives—instead of wives simply serving and obeying them.

The most profound form of submission is to die for another. When a person dies for another, he has truly submitted himself to that other person. He has spent himself for the good of the other.

It is important to notice that the instruction to wives on being submissive to their husbands is not unqualified. They should be submissive to them "as if to the Lord." Submission is based on the one-flesh nature of Christian marriage, in which it is presupposed that husbands will love their wives as Christ loves his Church. The wife also has authority. She is the body of her husband, as verses 28-29 state. As the body is in a one-flesh unity with the head, she can and must call her husband to do what the head is supposed to do in the fulfillment of this living sacrament of Christ and the Church.

Husbands and wives do not have authority for the sake of exercising power over each another. If this were the case their relation would be one of constant tension and disharmony. Authority and submission exist to create a one-flesh unity. Authority exists to serve the bond. It is exercised for the good of the bond, so that the marriage will be a good marriage, so that the spouses can do what is good for their marriage together. The person who exercises authority does not do so for the sake of being served. It is exercised so that his <marriage> may be served.

What does all this authority and submission mean in practical terms? Let me give some examples. If the wife is in the habit of spending money in a manner detrimental to the family budget, her husband can require that she cease doing so—and she should obey. If a husband does not want to work and so is neglecting his duty towards his wife and children, his wife can require that he go out and get a job, and he should obey.

If the husband or the wife is becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict, the spouse should require that he or she get proper treatment, and the impaired spouse should obey. If a spouse is doing something immoral, such as using contraception or cheating on the income tax, the other spouse can and should exercise authority and require that this immoral behavior be stopped.[/b]

copyright:Monica Migliorino Miller
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mamaput(f): 11:43pm On May 20, 2006
@ mide2
just forget the whole issue .
I hate talk about who said what and who did not say.
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mide2(f): 11:52pm On May 20, 2006
Ok @mamaput, I feel better it's sorted, I don't like stepping on toes.


In my earlier post i intentionally put the words submitting to a Loving husband, Loving husband boldly written. It's a 50- 50 game, shared responsibilty.
The husband is to  LOVE the wife( and a loving husband would certainly not beat up his wife or even intentionally do the slightest thing to hurt her feelings) and the Wife to submit to the loving husband. Once the initial factor of a loving husband is missed, then i rest my case on submission, becos it wouldn't work out.
I wouldn't advise a badly treated wife to submit to her hussy, i'd rather advise her to stand up for herself, in anyway she feels the best (either thru fight or flight).
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by whoknoxluv(m): 2:25pm On May 29, 2006
YES, cos the bible supported it and what ever the bible says i am in support
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Coco29(f): 1:08pm On May 30, 2006
smiley smiley smileyi believe that a relationship should be 50/50 the wife respect her husband and the husband respects his wife. They are both equal, that is how i saw my father and mother and i live my life the same. if a man feels that he wants to come into my life and tell me what to do he can take his ring and put where the sun don't shine. i refuse to submit 100% to any man even (DE-ANGELO SORRY BABY) angry angry
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Coco29(f): 1:12pm On May 30, 2006
AFENI


YOU WOULD NEED TO HAVE A WIFE LIKE ME, HIT ME ONCE AND YOU WOULD BE DRAGGING YR BODY BACK HOME TO MUM. THAT IS IF U COULD MOVE angry angry grin
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by DaHitler(m): 1:23pm On May 30, 2006
I don't hit. However, I will leave if your cooking doesn't improve.  smiley
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Rhodalyn(f): 1:36pm On May 30, 2006
stupid kid!
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by Coco29(f): 2:02pm On May 30, 2006
seun

some one has been telling you our secrets. huh
Re: Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands? by mazaje(m): 5:16pm On Jan 23, 2007
personally i believe the wife should submit to her husband but she shouldnt be a fool and do that at her own expense else the husband will always take advantage of her, since it is widely believed that the man is the head of the home the wife has to submit to him so that there wont be friction between them, we respect and kind of submit to our bosses at our places of work or in school some of them respect us back and treat us right while others take advantage of the situation but the truth remains, there can never be two masters in a house. submittion doesnt mean slavery but absolute respect , it also means tolerance and unity, kind of like going out of ur way to make sure u please ur man so that he too will do the same for you.

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