nikkykay: Thanks guys displaying maturity on ds thread
God will help us all
He will give us wisdom on how to train our children in a way dat they wont fail us and also He will give these children a good heart dat wont make them derail from the good path we are showing them

jidegirl12:

Lol

Oprah is the most respectable intelligent, successful role model in the entire World hence my reason for saying human WILL as per her Quote that said

damiso: [/b]

@bolded is why I would prefer marriage counselling.Families however neutral they may try to be often add their own prejudices and sometimes this is like adding fuel to a fire.If I listened to some kain counselling from my family hen, I would make my husband spend all his money while I stash mine building houses and investments In Nigeria.And am not talking OUR property am talking Mine.And you know what now I kinda see where those individuals are coming from cos they trusted their husbands with their finances and these men ended up marrying second wives.So for them marriage is be smart, cunning or get screwed.
How wont that colour their advice if asked to counsel a young couple going through a rough patch.
For me counselling, psycology(not just marriage) is sometimes needed in this modern world we are trying to navigate.I was typical naija who was like who needs counselling.But when I had mild PND, my hubby could not stop me crying, my pastor kept telling me to pray, talking to a proffesional helped aloooot.

damiso: [/b]

@bolded is why I would prefer marriage counselling.Families however neutral they may try to be often add their own prejudices and sometimes this is like adding fuel to a fire.If I listened to some kain counselling from my family hen, I would make my husband spend all his money while I stash mine building houses and investments In Nigeria.And am not talking OUR property am talking Mine.And you know what now I kinda see where those individuals are coming from cos they trusted their husbands with their finances and these men ended up marrying second wives.So for them marriage is be smart, cunning or get screwed.
How wont that colour their advice if asked to counsel a young couple going through a rough patch.
For me counselling, psycology(not just marriage) is sometimes needed in this modern world we are trying to navigate.I was typical naija who was like who needs counselling.But when I had mild PND, my hubby could not stop me crying, my pastor kept telling me to pray, talking to a proffesional helped aloooot.

biolabee: good stuff guys... threads on NL can be devoid of rancour...

would just to add the child going rotten is also punushment...
jacobs who was a good father (waiting for bellong ) had a son who slept with his concubine

Samuel died unhappy

tsmith:



, I see we are rather similar; navigating this westerner world with our cultural background, it a tough mix. But as an appendix to your post from way back 'Can a mother have it all', i'd say yes we can. It's only a matter of time ans striking the right balance.

bukatyne:

Remember Jacob was a cheat? Reuben sleeping with his wife, his kids lying to him about Joseph are the prices he paid for his sins

biolabee:

Then no one is perfect then except Jesu
and Enoch.,..


The Bible me i dey read these guys were polygamous, drinkers, adulterers and rap.ists (of their half sister sef)

biolabee:

Then no one is perfect then except Jesu
and Enoch.,..

The Bible me i dey read these guys were polygamous, drinkers, adulterers and rap.ists (of their half sister sef)

Thus God never look for the perfect ones, else, Jesus Himself would not have chosen a cocky (peter), thief (Judas) and unbeliever (Thomas) as disciples . . .Always willing to work with us, just the way we are

nikkykay: Thanks guys displaying maturity on ds thread
God will help us all
He will give us wisdom on how to train our children in a way dat they wont fail us and also He will give these children a good heart dat wont make them derail from the good path we are showing them

bukatyne:

Read Matthew 5:48

48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

biolabee:

you for quote am na
may god help us

Fhemmmy:

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. . . . But this verse here is not saying that you are perfect like your heavenly father, just saying, we should aspire to be better

Fhemmmy:

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. . . . But this verse here is not saying that you are perfect like your heavenly father, just saying, we should aspire to be better

bukatyne:

The key word is aspire or work towards being better. Our imperfection is not an excuse to misdo!

biolabee:

I agree sir.. since the good master also said no one is good except one.. but i get her POV at least...

Fhemmmy:

While i would copy her way of doing buz, i wont listen to her parental advice cos she aint one and neither would i listen to her approach on how to take care of my home . . . . Lol

jidegirl12:

Ofcourse you'll chose the biz idea first

On a serious note, she never gave any parental advice, BUT she's surrounded by top experts in various fields ( Phil, Oz, Rabbi and so on) and she learns from them too, as per the WILL , I only used that to broaden kids Responsibility and accountability after parents training.

Good discourse tho

Yes oh, i will take the business part first, cos i hope to get better in my business and all that , , , Lol, but when it comes to how to raise home and the rest, i will go to the manual of He that created it ALL . .

biolabee: good stuff guys... threads on NL can be devoid of rancour...

would just to add the child going rotten is also punushment...
jacobs who was a good father (waiting for bellong ) had a son who slept with his concubine

Samuel died unhappy

bellong:

My point was not specifically that good fathers always end up having good children. It was only to point out the weakness of David as per fatherhood. However, proportion of fathers who raised their children in the right way and their children turned out good are very high compared to the other.

What I personally observed over the years is that parents most times wait for their children to start talking before being trained or corrected about any negative character. You hear things like, he is still too young to understand, he doesn't know what they are doing etc....

Starting early and being a good father outweighs not being one. If at the end they turn out bad, at least you have peace on your part.

Jacob was a fraudster . The kids are already grown before he encountered divine transformation at bethel. We could also infer that because he hated Leah, he didn't pay attention to her children compared to Joseph and Benjamin from his beloved wife.

Samuel did his best and died happy because he didn't die of regret from failure of fatherhood like his "mentor" Eli.

bellong:

My point was not specifically that good fathers always end up having good children. It was only to point out the weakness of David as per fatherhood. However, proportion of fathers who raised their children in the right way and their children turned out good are very high compared to the other.

What I personally observed over the years is that parents most times wait for their children to start talking before being trained or corrected about any negative character. You hear things like, he is still too young to understand, he doesn't know what they are doing etc....

Starting early and being a good father outweighs not being one. If at the end they turn out bad, at least you have peace on your part.

Jacob was a fraudster . The kids are already grown before he encountered divine transformation at bethel. We could also infer that because he hated Leah, he didn't pay attention to her children compared to Joseph and Benjamin from his beloved wife.

Samuel did his best and died happy because he didn't die of regret from failure of fatherhood like his "mentor" Eli.

biolabee: Hmmm.....

No father will die 'happy' or fulfilled that he tried his best and he lost his child(ren)

At least not ME

Remember the shephard left 99 to get back the ONE

As humans we will try but God blesses the efoorts because destiny stealers abound every where

biolabee: Hmmm.....

No father will die 'happy' or fulfilled that he tried his best and he lost his child(ren)

At least not ME

Remember the shephard left 99 to get back the ONE

As humans we will try but God blesses the efoorts because destiny stealers abound every where

Fhemmmy:

Words of wisdom . . .

Ayee Idris: Thanks for all the comments. Just one observation. I read earlier that when someone wrote that unless the counselor has been married successfully for many years, he will not be willing to go to one. I beg to differ. It is like saying unless a doctor has delivered hundreds of babies, he cannot deliver mine. Counselors are specially trained. They don't need to have 20 years experience in marriage before they can give marital advice. All they need is the skill and experience from dealing with other couples in similar situations, not their private lives. My two cents

Fhemmmy:

I see where you are coming from, but experience in book when it comes to psychology and medicine are not same . . . A counselor that is yet to marry has nothing to offer me than what she has read in a book, and again, most of the books are written for a different culture than ours . . .
What will he/she tells me to do if i am facing a rough marriage? he/she is yet to experience one

Ayee Idris:

what if the counselor has successfully dealt with other couples with similar problems like yours?

Fhemmmy:

How would i measure the her successfully dealt with other couples with similar problems . . .

Ayee Idris:

She will have records, won't she? Will you measure the number of times your doctor has done an operation before you allow him do it on you?

nikkykay: The issue is do our couples practice the kinda love dey practice in the western world?
No matter how westernised we try to be, we still have the culture thing flowing in our blood.
A white man can still forgive his wife for committing adultery after going thru counseling but Africa/ Nigerian Man is NO
Do we have d issue of submission in d white couples' marriage? NO but it is a must in Nigerian marriage
So if marriage counseling is working for them there it may not work in Nigeria
IMO.