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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum (13236 Views)
Why Is It A Challenge For Single Mum's To Get Married? / Is It Crazy To Have The Urge To Want To Be A Single Mum? / Am A Single Mum About To Get Married To A Divorcee (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 5:55pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Originalsly: Hmmm...is this how you redeem yourself from the mistake of being a baby momma? Being a single parent is not something to be proud of.Parents should be role models to their children...don't you think? Why find other people to be role models? This is confirming that you yourself believe you are not a good enough parent for your child. So why advise others? If your child is a boy growing up under all your female role models how will he grow up to be a man? Is this not setting the foundation for him to be one of those hmmm...effeminate men? Then making time for yourself by dumping your child off at whoever...is that not typical baby momma mentality? Why would you be surprised if your child follows in your footsteps? We have to be careful of people like you who seek to dilute then destroy African family values. Yes, we made mistakes as teens and got pregnant. Crucify us! Seriously, the sillines of a whole shitload of peeps on here appalls me to no end. Who's talking morality? If anyone thinks they're super duper holy because they're raising their kids in the confines of a marriage, and they're better than everyone else, they should have their heads checked. Some single mothers didn't become so by being promiscous. Get enlightened. And for a continent with such a high premium on 'values', we can see what your values have bought you. Some of us are doing a fine job of parenting already, and when we get wifed by lovely husbands, we'll see what's so 'royal' about you. Oshi. 9 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Policewoman(f): 5:56pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Originalsly: Hmmm...is this how you redeem yourself from the mistake of being a baby momma? Being a single parent is not something to be proud of.Parents should be role models to their children...don't you think? Why find other people to be role models? This is confirming that you yourself believe you are not a good enough parent for your child. So why advise others? If your child is a boy growing up under all your female role models how will he grow up to be a man? Is this not setting the foundation for him to be one of those hmmm...effeminate men? Then making time for yourself by dumping your child off at whoever...is that not typical baby momma mentality? Why would you be surprised if your child follows in your footsteps? We have to be careful of people like you who seek to dilute then destroy African family values.That is exactly what i have against single parenting. When you raise a boy like a woman, without a father figure, why won't he start having feelings for the same sex? |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Ewabeads(f): 5:57pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Please is single mom something to be proud of or what, cos I don't understand this thread. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by supaeagles(m): 5:58pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
sometimes a single parent is better than two (bad) parents or one good and one bad parent! Besides, there will always be extended family, grandparents etc giving support. Our society is known for that. 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by supaeagles(m): 6:00pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Policewoman: That is exactly what i have against single parenting. When you raise a boy like a woman, without a father figure, why won't he start having feelings for the same sex?interesting... is that what you learned in police school ??... apart from learning how to collect money at check point 3 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by slimyem: 6:02pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
anitank: Policewoman: We know how these things start. Our daughters will begin copying the oyibo in ditching marriage and rooting for single parenthood which is unhealthy for a child's raising. However i do not hold anything against those who became single parents for reasons not of their own fault. For these people i hold no grudge...the circumstances surrounding their status is not the point here. Whether they ditched their marriages intentionally,lost their husbands,got pregnant for some guy who won't take responsibilty or some other reason,they are still called the same thing-"Single mothers" and this thread is not about judging them or their decisions. 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 6:04pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Ewa beads: Please is single mom something to be proud of or what, cos I don't understand this thread. No! Its not. But we won't just drop off the earth's surface or fly into space because your tickled or irked. We're extant, but will one day be extinct. Live/deal with it 5 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by mediainspired: 6:06pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
It's ironically, but among young ladies I kind of find the single mums more mature, caring and perceptive - key elements lacking in most single ladies. Interestingly, 50% of the single ladies and brides have committed abortions to cover up societal 'stain.' The other category of marriageable single ladies are those with genuine fear of God (not necessarily the ones that are 'workers' in some social churches & 'know-me-I-know-u' or 'paddy-paddy' clique churches like R**G ooo). Just my honest opinion. I don't talk much, but when I do I could somewhat be too blunt for comfort. Lol. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Rastamann: 6:09pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
When God was creating man, he never created man to be a single parents, so why go against the wish of God, except where one's spouse is dead? |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Sike(m): 6:33pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Single my foot! |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by echivee: 6:35pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Originalsly: Hmmm...is this how you redeem yourself from the mistake of being a baby momma? Being a single parent is not something to be proud of.Parents should be role models to their children...don't you think? Why find other people to be role models? This is confirming that you yourself believe you are not a good enough parent for your child. So why advise others? If your child is a boy growing up under all your female role models how will he grow up to be a man? Is this not setting the foundation for him to be one of those hmmm...effeminate men? Then making time for yourself by dumping your child off at whoever...is that not typical baby momma mentality? Why would you be surprised if your child follows in your footsteps? We have to be careful of people like you who seek to dilute then destroy African family values.You have said it all. We really have to be careful of people whose messages are at variance with our religious and traditional family values. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Bluediamond1(f): 6:36pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
anitank: |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by supaeagles(m): 6:36pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Rastamann: When God was creating man, he never created man to be a single parents, so why go against the wish of God, except where one's spouse is dead?I am not sure this is the right thread for that kind of argument after all people can then argue that the human race evolved (scientifically backed) and were not created (which is a spiritual belief). |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by obinnakenedo(m): 6:36pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
anitank:keep ur article and dont forget ur mood while at it. One more thing, ensure that ur girls recite it too. WTF! |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by youngalex(m): 6:49pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
;DWell,Single mum can be expanded to include widows..that's where I belong I was raised by a woman but ve got the masculine orientation and mindset from uncles and cousins...Single mums shul expand the horison of their children by taking them to strict uncles/cousins who will instill discipline on them esp. The males |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 7:06pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
supaeagles: Rotfl!!! I'm still in shock from that post to be honest. So people truly believe single motherhood leads to homosexuality? Wow! 5 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by damiso(f): 7:09pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Geeez.Nigerians can be judgemental.Gosh |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 7:16pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
So the thinking by some people is that women will read the OP's post and rush out in droves to go and get impregnated out of wedlock right? NL! Always good for the lulz... |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 7:19pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
lovelydoll: I mean I get your point...but the statement in red is very irrelevant to what I said earlier. Except a woman plans to remarry or practice abstinence , how can she be a single mum and BE CLOSE TO GOD as OP suggested? |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by lovelydoll: 7:30pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
ekwah: Again you are not God to tell someone they cannot be close to God because they are a SINGLE mother. the other stuff is up to them. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 7:38pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
lovelydoll: All I did was just state the fact the way it is. Who am I to play God? A = Being a single mum b = Being close to God A and B => abstinence from sex unless one is re-married - a thing that's obviously almost impossible!! OP's suggestion of they 'being close to God' doesn't sound practical to me at all for very obvious reasons. You didn't answer my question. Shout out to all them single mums though, dem strong. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by phineas: 7:44pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
damiso: Geeez.Nigerians can be judgemental.Gosh My sentiments exactly, judgemental hypocrites that's what the majority of nigerians are. Whether a woman decides to raise her family alone or with a man,its really nobody's bussiness to label her good or bad.Its her life and her choice which must be respected. Truth is most Nigerian families leave the responsibility of raising kids solely with the mothers,so a lot of "married" homes actually raise single parent kids add that to the outrageous runaway/absentee dads in Nigeria courtsey of multiple wife scenario,parents living in two diff cities,men shirking their responsibilities etc amongst others,then u see the truth is in Africa,the woman raises the kids. The single mother should be encouraged to do a good job,strengthened and helped by others when possible not condemmed. 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by remioshy(f): 7:46pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Single mum is something you can be proud of if you find yourself in such situation and you raise your child/children well, I happened to find myself in such and never in my wildest dream do I want such, but I was determined to make the best of my situation, I got pregnant in the university but before I could do anything to it , my mother became aware and she refused to let me terminate, my so called boyfriend was willing to accept and get married after my university education, I do love him but I was concerned because he was abusive, while pregnant and after delivery , any love I had for him was beaten out of me, I had to run for my dear life , it was then I made my mother aware of years of abuse and i continued in it because of my child, that if I leave him , who will marry after one, but when I landed in hospital because of the beating, I knew it was time to call it a day, and I vowed that if he remains the only man alive, I rather choose to be single, 20 years after this year , I am yet to sent my eyes on him, he never bothered , I was a single parent for many years and with Gods help and my mum I did my best, The irony of the whole saga is that child then is the only tooth in my mouth now. Sometimes being a single parent is a blessing in disguise, I won't criticise someone who find themself in such 6 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by InvertedHammer: 8:27pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
9jamum: What’s the single most difficult aspect of single parenting? I know, we all have our different answers as the individual challenges differs from state to state and country to country. I complete agree with the fact that a role meant for two mates now belongs to an individual is enough to break one down with enough stress to last a life time....blablablabla..../ Where did this cretin crawl out from? How to be a good single mom? Keep your freaking legs closed. // |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by 9jamum(f): 8:30pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
remioshy: Single mum is something you can be proud of if you find yourself in such situation and you raise your child/children well, I happened to find myself in such and never in my wildest dream do I want such, but I was determined to make the best of my situation, I got pregnant in the university but before I could do anything to it , my mother became aware and she refused to let me terminate, my so called boyfriend was willing to accept and get married after my university education, I do love him but I was concerned because he was abusive, while pregnant and after delivery , any love I had for him was beaten out of me, I had to run for my dear life , it was then I made my mother aware of years of abuse and i continued in it because of my child, that if I leave him , who will marry after one, but when I landed in hospital because of the beating, I knew it was time to call it a day, and I vowed that if he remains the only man alive, I rather choose to be single, 20 years after this year , I am yet to sent my eyes on him, he never bothered , I was a single parent for many years and with Gods help and my mum I did my best,. I appreciate you. Thank you for sharing your experience. 4 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by free2ryhme: 9:04pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
To be a single mum is now a celebrity title abi? Tufikwa !!!!! |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Mustay(m): 9:07pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
anitank: Methinks there's a difference between 'singlehood' and widowhood. The first is by choice, the latter is by circumstance in this context. However, I do know that sometimes the former could be by circumstance, e.g rape inter alias but some are trying to curb the 'single & proud' trend 'cos just like unmarried young/ageing women, it's not something to be proud of HERE. #2kobobservations When the former happens by circumstance, a partner is usually added, not sole proprietorship. HERE, being born out of wedlock is an abomination even though it is ironically becoming a fad in cities. Methinks this is where peeps have issues with, not being a single parent by choice! |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 9:12pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
kokoye: Is this now something to be proud of? It is amazing how ignorant you posters can be Divorce happens you know Men have abandoned their wives and children People also die Is it all single mothers that became single mothers by choice? U sleep and don't wake up tomorrow.,our wife is now a single mother isn't it? 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 9:15pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Ewa beads: Please is single mom something to be proud of or what, cos I don't understand this thread. Sharap! 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by teemilo: 9:17pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Apparently some people 'think' this disrespect of single mothers is d way to discourage others from going down that route... its actually funny but this NL it isn't surprising. The incredibly dense will always be with us. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by kokoye(m): 9:19pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
babyosisi: All I did was ask a question. I never said anything about about it. I have a sister who is a single mom as well..but she wouldnt be if she had her way. But things happen. And I support her in everyway. You are the one who needs to calm down and stop being emotional about it. 1 Like |
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