mollytinrox:


I tire o. So you'd rather we aborted our precious kids because in a moment of passion we let a meat pole pour its sperm in us?

I'm waiting for the day anyone will insult me about being a single mother.

Some of the fawktards talking here have had countless abortions and are going to end up in the TTC thread and tell us how they swear to Thor they were untouched. I'm so proud of my decision to keep my baby, but if I had to do this again, I'll wait until I'm happily married to have him. Simple.

And the ones asking about abstinence, google secondary abstinence. Its very possible, very practisable. When you've got such a huge task as single handedly raising children, the least of your problems will be getting laid, I tell you.

If you think all these negativity and self imposed authority to judge will reduce the menace of teen pregnancy/promiscuity, keep it up. You apparently have the energy.

I got pregnant as a teen, and I've realised my mistakes. Hell, I'm still paying for them. But I'd choose that over not having my son(abortion) and gloating about being a virgin on NL.

kudos to you!!!
May God continue to bless you.
I admire your wisdom and courage.
It is well with you and your son.
My regards to him, hes lucky to have someone like you.

From what my own experience.i think Nigerian women r catching d western madness called single mamaism..it's such a pity they feel its something great but really it sucks and its crazy..there is absolutely nothing cool bout single mother ism..so to me,this thread is shit

sanniemoe: From what my own experience.i think Nigerian women r catching d western madness called single mamaism..it's such a pity they feel its something great but really it sucks and its crazy..there is absolutely nothing cool bout single mother ism..so to me,this thread is shit

What a coincidence.. There is absolutely nothing cool about you. You suck and are crazy.

I always have this special respect for anyone i see or know who is a single parent but not promiscus. I doff my cap for them. Anything could have gone wrong.

Some of the people condemning them are worse, i mean, some of them have had several abortions done, and yet, they will open their mouth and be insulting those who are wise and couageous enough to have their baby and take care of them. Posterity will judge. Karma never dies, each and everyone of us will definately reap what we sow.
@single mums in the house, kudos to you!
Im not a single mum but i wont think it twice if there are better reasons for me to be one.
May God help us all.

What of someone who was married with 5 kids and the good for nothing husband decided to walk out because his wife was holding down his destiny (oloshious somebody ......some spiritual leaders ehn I shake my head)? She becomes a single mum by default? Are we not meant to judge the f.ool who deserted his kids? Noooo trust Nigerians who may not know the full story to condemn her rather than think and wonder how hard it is to raise 5 kids on your own.

I hate the baby momma syndrome as it is in the west cos its really irritating.Girls getting pregnant so as to claim state benefits and all, this should not be encouraged in any form and I am happy that the Govt is closing such loopholes.That said there are genuine mistakes in this category as well,so even I do not have the right to condemn even those that were teen moms.I guess its tjose that go on to havr 3, 4 that sometimes give these ones too bad names.

I dont think anyone would really want to be a single mum in Nigeria cos its hard.Kudos to them for keeping their babies in a society where abortion can be done as easily as buying paracetamol.

Its not a lifestyle choice in Nigeria as it maybr in the west fot reasons I highlighted earlier (which should be discouraged) so lets lay down on the holy holy pls.I respect people raising kids on their own cos even with two hands on parents it aint easy.

Besides I the judgement and criticism was uncalled for as this thread is not titled"Benefits of being a single mum or Become a single mum".Its just to encourage those who already are.Its like divorced people going"20 tips for a better marriage" thread to start shouting marriagr is a fraud.

SniperInADiaper:

What a coincidence.. There is absolutely nothing cool about you. You suck and are crazy.

Lol..your father is craZy..guess u one of d single mamas..look,apart from widows,legally separated women and a few out there,if u a single mum,then u shit...

sanniemoe:

Lol..your father is craZy..guess u one of d single mamas..look,apart from widows,legally separated women and a few out there,if u a single mum,then u shit...

Id rather be a happy single mother than with a guy who is of no benefit to my family.

SniperInADiaper:

Id rather be a happy single mother than with a guy who is of no benefit to my family.

With this kind of mindset.u already on your way being one but mind U,all that glitter no b jewelry o.what happens to working hard to make him change..u think being a single mama is cool,may God be with U if that path seem so appealing to you..

sanniemoe:

With this kind of mindset.u already on your way being one but mind U,all that glitter no b jewelry o.what happens to working hard to make him change..u think being a single mama is cool,may God be with U if that path seem so appealing to you..

You missed the part where I said Im a damn good single mother.

Its not a path I chose because its appealing.. but Im not ashamed for being on this path. You continue hating on single mothers. I pray your wife doesnt end up one.

SniperInADiaper:

You missed the part where I said Im a damn good single mother.

Its not a path I chose because its appealing.. but Im not ashamed for being on this path. You continue hating on single mothers. I pray your wife doesnt end up one.

First,I'm a single good looking and hardworking gidi hustla.2nd,I so much believe in family values,I would do ANYTHING ,EVERYTHING TO MAKE AND KEEP MY FAMILY..sorry,I missed out d part of u being a single mama.so cos devil has given u a pair of shoe to wear and God has helped u rock d shoe conveniently,u feel its cool to encourage other beautiful innocent young ladies to wear it..SMH..dunno ur story but I insist.single mamaism is evil to our society...

greatgod2012:


kudos to you!!!
May God continue to bless you.
I admire your wisdom and courage.
It is well with you and your son.
My regards to him, hes lucky to have someone like you.

Thanks ma.

I admire you a lot in this section.
I'll tell my Beebee Madam said 'May God help us all(both)'.

sanniemoe:

First,I'm a single good looking and hardworking gidi hustla.2nd,I so much believe in family values,I would do ANYTHING ,EVERYTHING TO MAKE AND KEEP MY FAMILY..sorry,I missed out d part of u being a single mama.so cos devil has given u a pair of shoe to wear and God has helped u rock d shoe conveniently,u feel its cool to encourage other beautiful innocent young ladies to wear it..SMH..dunno ur story but I insist.single mamaism is evil to our society...

I dont encourage anybody to be a single mother.. But I do encourage them to step up to bullies like you who think its ok to knock a lady down when she is trying her damndest to be a mother to a child when the guy just walks out like a damn fool. Why are you going to judge a lady without even knowing her story. The lady you see on the street that is a single mother could have lost her husband in an accident or she could have been ra.ped. Instead of looking down on them and assuming the worst, perhaps you should encourage them to raise decent children.

SniperInADiaper:

I dont encourage anybody to be a single mother.. But I do encourage them to step up to bullies like you who think its ok to knock a lady down when she is trying her damndest to be a mother to a child when the guy just walks out like a damn fool. Why are you going to judge a lady without even knowing her story. The lady you see on the street that is a single mother could have lost her husband in an accident or she could have been ra.ped. Instead of looking down on them and assuming the worst, perhaps you should encourage them to raise decent children.

Guess u raised in the west..lol..take a chill pill babe..read my first post again...I am not a bully o..I respect women but if u cross ur line,I go take necessary action..I am not a white man,I am not in a white man's land...and I didn't judge u but for calling me a bully,me too will judge u...what's ur story?why r u a single mum?.why did ur man walkout on u?is it cos u feel u too good or better 2 listen to a man?or cos u cheated??
Look,that Man U feel is too bad for u was snatched by a more responsible level headed lady..mschew..Oshi o da Nile pako

sanniemoe:
Guess u raised in the west..lol..take a chill pill babe..read my first post again...I am not a bully o..I respect women but if u cross ur line,I go take necessary action..I am not a white man,I am not in a white man's land...and I didn't judge u but for calling me a bully,me too will judge u...what's ur story?why r u a single mum?.why did ur man walkout on u?is it cos u feel u too good or better 2 listen to a man?or cos u cheated??
Look,that Man U feel is too bad for u was snatched by a more responsible level headed lady..mschew..Oshi o da Nile pako

Eh my man didnt walk out... He died

SniperInADiaper:

Eh my man didnt walk out... He died

[quote author=SniperInADiaper]

Hmm hmmm...*speechless*....can see why U called me a bully...may his gentle soul rest in perfect peace..babe,I am not a bully.i respect ladies a lot but truth is d young generation of modern Nigeria deliberately set out to be baby mama..heard chics tell me they don't want a fam,all they want is d child..dated a few single mothers and from their stories,could pick they had loving husbands but they were way too stubborn,irresponsible and conceited..they had ego like d height of heaven,arrogance was embedded in their DNA..this made the husband leave caring less about his kids..I'm sorry boo,I didn't judge u..we both saw this from different perspective..
Oya,me sef deserve apology for all d names u called me..lol

[quote author=sanniemoe][/quote]

All is well

SniperInADiaper:

All is well

I like U.. U bold..I'm sorry if I hurt u..It wasn't intentional.u came with full derogatory force...I'm sorry..

This post is disheartening, are you ladies of nowadays accepting your defeat of not being able to manage a marriage successfully?Is your sefish and selfcentered attitude gettin over you? Is there anywhere in the Bible where single parenting is preached?There are some cases of widowhood am not talking of that...is the OP encouraging single parenting Omg!!!There are so many factors that leads to all these...the strange culture of the western world we are practicing now is not in our culture...Our women of today are so reckless in that the moment they get a kid,forget all that make dem a real woman to her man..Then women of nowadays love money more than their life..another factor is we do not seek God's directive before going into marriage,in the spiritual world,there is a sign that male and female has..its either circle,triangle,rectagle to mention but a few...if a circle man went ahead to marry a triangle woman,there is going to be problem in that marriage,you might call this a trash,but that's the truth..so its both our fault for not seeking Gods face before choosing a partner,as long as a man can meet a little of ur need,or can buy you recharge card,or take you out,the next thing is marriage.Do we even look at the family and background of the man or woman??Is the ladies mother not a single parent?Is her mother a wayward person? Do they have elements of witchcraft in their family?Is the man from polygamous home??If he is,then don't ever try to stop him if he choose to marry another woman..Let's go spiritual..Abraham lied to a king that his wife is his sister...Isaac did same,,and it make Jacob too a 419,can you see that..A woman can never stay alone not to talk of single handedly taking care of children alone...Can a vehincle drive itself Without a driver?Women are vehincles that carry children while men are the drivers...a vehincle moving without a driver will surely crash...take note.I have so many spiritual instances to butress my point NO to single parenting..

sanniemoe:

I like U.. U bold..I'm sorry if I hurt u..It wasn't intentional.u came with full derogatory force...I'm sorry..

Takes more than that to hurt me. No apology needed.

single parenthood is not something that a sane person should aim at, it is a situation u find yourself. For instance will it make sense to give tips as to how to become a great poor man.no one should pray for single motherhood but if it happens make the most of it.

Mustay:

Methinks there's a difference between 'singlehood' and widowhood. The first is by choice, the latter is by circumstance in this context.

However, I do know that sometimes the former could be by circumstance, e.g rape inter alias but some are trying to curb the 'single & proud' trend 'cos just like unmarried young/ageing women, it's not something to be proud of HERE. #2kobobservations

When the former happens by circumstance, a partner is usually added, not sole proprietorship. HERE, being born out of wedlock is an abomination even though it is ironically becoming a fad in cities. Methinks this is where peeps have issues with, not being a single parent by choice!

i hate narrating my story on here because i wouldn't want any form of sympathy. But to make it clear to u, i am not a widow.... my fiance died 2weeks to our wedding after an 8 year relationship and a 4 year old son


God rest his soul!

[quote author=charles424]This post is disheartening....is the OP encouraging single parenting Omg!!!...Our women of today are so reckless in that the moment they get a kid,forget all that make dem a real woman to her man..Then women of nowadays love money more than their life..I have so many spiritual instances to butress my point NO to single parenting..

Guy you are just a bunch of contradictions,single parents men or women are capable of raising great kids,it has everything to do with the individual and Gods grace not their relationship status.

You remind me of the proverbial pharisee that is not on the path and will not let others be,even Jesus did not condem the woman in adultery how your own come be? Whether by choice or by chance there will always be single parents in our society,if you can't support them with kindness either by words or deeds,then by all means be quiet and don't make their lives more difficult with ur hypocrital judgemental stand.

Op I'm with you on this post,empower your kids in everyway possible,teach them their success is your success.

My observation,kids from single parents are mostly independent,mature and goal oriented early in life while their mates are clowning away....

LOL @ "our strong African morals and values"

See where such strong morals and values has taken us to as a nation. Wicked and corrupt leaders, snake oil salesmen masquerading as religious leaders, kidnapping on the rise, ritual killings, girls hawking their bodies to the highest bidder for the sake of Brazilian hair and the latest blackberry phone, lack of welfare for the disabled and weak in society, 'bigmanism' and oppression, religious intolerance and bigotry, ethnicism, nepotism and jingoism. The list is endless.

"strong African morals and values" Abeg nor make me laff piss for bodi.

What’s the single most difficult aspect of single parenting? I know, we all have our different answers as the individual challenges differs from state to state and country to country. I complete agree with the fact that a role meant for two mates now belongs to an individual is enough to break one down with enough stress to last a life time.

However, despite what you read from the media and hear, being a single mother is not all bad news. To encourage our beautiful strong single mothers out there are these tips to becoming a great single mum help ease through the journey.

1.Maintain a relationship with God.
Whatever your religious inclination, talking to your God through prayers and reading your Holy Bible, Quran etc will only require a few minutes or hour of your time in the day. Doing this will refresh your soul, give you inner peace and renewal, hope, especially if you are facing different challenges.

2. Seek out role models:
Single mums and her child(ren) can flourish. The first step is to make a list of other single mums or children raised by single mums who inspire you and refer to it as whenever they are going through a difficult day. The world is amazed how Obama turned out good from such a background.
Do i really need a role mode in ds area? As for me NO.
I shld remain who i am and try to be a good and responsible mother & model to my daughter which am trying my best possible to be.

3. Find a work schedule that suits your life style and family.
Do not be afraid to express your needs to your employers by telling him or her you are a single mum / parent. Most of them will understand and assist you in getting a flexible work schedule.
I have never for once be ashamed dat am a single mum right from when i was pregnant even in my place of work. this has really helped me a lot. My boss understands that i have to pick my baby at creche be4 630pm so i close 5pm on d dot or few minutes after.

4. Do not freak out over things beyond your control –  if your child’s father promises to show up unannounced during an event at your child’s school. Do not loose your beauty sleep over it. That’s his wahala not yours! I havent had ds experience andi dont pray to have it

5. Do make out a ‘me – time”.
Being a single mum is hard work, so you deserve time off every now and then. When you create free time for yourself, you can enjoy going to the salon or spending time with friends after having left your child(ren) in the capable hands of either a baby sitter,  another single mum friend or neighbour.

6. Be yourself.
Do not compete with yourself. This is because, nobody is keeping scores on the unmade beds, unclean breakfast dishes and toys scattered about on some chaotic morning. Please, focus on doing the most important things to avoid lateness for you and your child (dren). These include bathing, getting dresses, having breakfast and leaving for school/ work for both you and the child(ren). You can always get back to doing these chores later.
I think i am d best mum in town ! i get remarks every time @ school and anywhere u see my baby for a fantanstic job.
I pack well prepared meals for my baby everyday from breakfast to lunch with snacks & drinks.
She is always the first student to get to school. when dey dont see her by 640am, dey know something has happened cos by 615-620am she alrdy at school. She is always active and neat.
I clean my house every Saturday! My sink is thoroughly clean be4 i go to bed only if dre is no lite to pump water.
Thank God for my girl cos she is been so cooperative.

Finally, this tend to reduce or completely take the pressure off you whilst spending more quality time with your child (ren).


Though i didnt plan to be a single mum at the same time i ddnt regret being one cos having that baby has opened my eyes to so many things and has stopped m e from doing so many things. I have been more responsible as a woman.
Having a child has tot me how to be very careful when i am dealing with men again.
The only thing i can say i miss is s3x cos i used to be active but dat is not my priority now but how to gve dat girl d best.
I want to believe i will get married some day but aint desperate about marriage cos i dont pray to make another mistake.
May God help us all


www.singlenaijamum.com

@Phineas, @Nikkykay, @nep2ra @anitank ( your story melts my heart) @josite @SniperInADiaper amongs others
I want to appreciate you for ur comments.

Thank u

Next on singlenaijamum.com is what the law says about all of this. Keep a date with this page
www.singlenaijamum.com

@mollytinrox, not forgetting you among the list I had mentioned. Kudos. Wishing you all the best as u bring up your son.

sanniemoe:

I like U.. U bold..I'm sorry if I hurt u..It wasn't intentional.u came with full derogatory force...I'm sorry..

Nice one it takes a big man to step down...
@Sniper well played

@op nice advise. Situations can actually make a woman a single mom. Being a single mom doesn't affect a child's upbringing except if the lady is too bad or devilish. There are children, infact majority of children who grew up under the roof of both their mothers and their fathers are either rapists, vagabonds, riff raffs, prostitutes, cultists, sex maniacs, thieves, very obstinate, disrespectful, defiled, indiscipline, immoral, cheats, murderers, thugs, the list is just endless. The bible says "it is neither he that willeth nor of he that runnet but of God that showeth mercy". It doesn't really has to do with having a husband or not but having the mercy of God on your life for God said "I will have mercy on whom i will have mercy". So a woman training her child with her husband doesn't guarantte that the child will be discipline or upright. For divorcees, you are suppose to be a single mom(and can remarry if you wish) only when your husband indulges in adultery, that is the bible standard. However if you can forgive and be at peace in your heart, then shun divorce.

Greatest tip of all: DON'T BE A SINGLE MUM! Unless you are unfortunately widowed, divorced through no fault of yours or molested which resulted in an unwanted pregnancy.

Having said that, we are all human and make silly mistakes once in a while, if you fall in the once in a while category and was strong enough to keep the baby and LEARN from your mistake (God bless you), then I raise my hat to you and pray that God sends you a loving partner.

Unless you belong in any of the categories above, there is NOTHING strong, brave, independent or whatever word you want to fool yourself with in being a single mum.

Sound children (the future of our planet) need to be raised in a balanced home with loving parents - male and female!

I wanted to apologise for my next sentence, but the truth will be the truth. A woman can seldom raise a sound man by herself and vice versa.

See all the men running their mouths as if they are not usually the reason we have single mothers. Mstcheeewww!

@ OP,I take a bow as I say thank you....and keep ur blog going strong,a place where singleparents can find advice and help.since naija snoots won't offer a finger to help.

Pls consider single parents,not just mums.some men raise kids without their mothers too,let's not marginalize.

phineas: @ OP,I take a bow as I say thank you....and keep ur blog going strong,a place where singleparents can find advice and help.since naija snoots won't offer a finger to help.

Pls consider single parents,not just mums.some men raise kids without their mothers too,let's not marginalize.

Point noted. I have actually spoken to a number of young hurting single dads and also those who have come to terms with their situations and making the best out of it. Its a different world it actually depends on how you choose to look at the glass. Thank you
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