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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum (13235 Views)
Why Is It A Challenge For Single Mum's To Get Married? / Is It Crazy To Have The Urge To Want To Be A Single Mum? / Am A Single Mum About To Get Married To A Divorcee (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by kokoye(m): 9:21pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
anitank: So..those still looking onto God for the fruit of the womb are not real women?? I rest my case. Good luck |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 9:24pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
kokoye: Your question was a stupeed one then Why ask if single motherhood was something to be proud of when you know there are many ways one can become single and the thread has nothing to do with encouraging people to run out and bear babies out of wedlock Should people go and hide and be ashamed of themselves because they are single mothers? Your sister is a single mother you say,is she less of a parent because she is a single mother? What is wrong in giving tips on how to be a great single mom if that happens to be the position people find themselves in 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by teemilo: 9:25pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Apparently some people 'think' this disrespect of single mothers is d way to discourage others from going down that route... its shouldn't be funny but this NL. The incredibly dense will always be with us. 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by kokoye(m): 9:29pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
babyosisi: First of all, please be respectful. I'm sure I have not said anything disrespecful to you. Again..you need to stop being emotional about this. I never said any of the things you claim I said...you are the one reading meanings into it. Bottomline is I dont know anyone out there who sets out to be a single mom - things happen and you deal with it. Did you set out ..or look forward to being a single mom? Again, I have not said anything bad about single moms..I respect their hussle and pray that God rewards their work. If you want to have a conversation, that's fine, as long as you are respectful. 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 9:34pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
kokoye: Is this now something to be proud of? This is your post above If you feel differently about it now go and modify it rather than pretending that I am making up stuff You haven't said anything bad about single moms Indeed!! 5 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by lovelydoll: 9:43pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
ekwah:They can always repent |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by kokoye(m): 9:44pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
babyosisi: You chose to read meanings into it. I dont have any control over that. There are situations in which I have found myself but it doesnt mean I pray that anyone else should be in such situations. - If I had my way, I wouldnt be in such..so I wont say I'm proud of it...but I'll deal with it. Hope that is clear enough...hence my comment. And since I made that comment..have I said anything else that you deem negative? You just choose to hold on to whatever fuels your anger...I have no control over that as well. Good luck and God bless. 3 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 9:50pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
kokoye: You are a very stubborn man You talk nonsense and you are called out on the nonsense and you twist it around and accuse me of reading meanings Meanings to a simple post that an elementary schooler can understand? Please what is the meaning of your post since you are the only one that knows the real meaning of your post Mchtwwww!!!!! 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by kokoye(m): 9:55pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
^^^ I updated my last post...read it if you want and maybe then you will see the reason behind my comment. You need to control your emotions...we are having a conversation and learning in the process. You dont know who I am and vice versa. I have not for once said anything negative to YOU. Think about that. 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 9:59pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Op,u did well by posting this. Single parenting(women) is very stressful on its own coupled with d image it has in naija. Assuming there is a way we can know,some of us here claiming holy hv either abandoned a pregnant galfriend to her fate or hv kids outside wedlock but of course in NL everybody is perfect and without dent.throut their family history nobody hv done such.its a taboo. In every two or three houses especially public house,u must c one out of wedlock child. Some mums tend to direct their frustration to their kids. Pls if there is one around u,kindly be good to her.she is passin tru a lot and pls can we stop d preaching.an adage in my place says"all dogs eat shi*t but u will always call d one u saw shi*t on its mouth shi*t eater" 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 10:09pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
kokoye: ^^^ Look ,if hammering on my emotions is your way of trying to prove manhood,you better cut that out Ok Enough of that emotional crap talks Moving on!! 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by 9jamum(f): 10:19pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: Op,u did well by posting this. Single parenting(women) is very stressful on its own coupled with d image it has in naija. Thank you for ur comment. We intend to reach out and help wipe away more tears as many are going through so much and silently dying inside. <HolyLand> <SaintLand>. 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 10:22pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
9jamum: What’s the single most difficult aspect of single parenting? I know, we all have our different answers as the individual challenges differs from state to state and country to country. I complete agree with the fact that a role meant for two mates now belongs to an individual is enough to break one down with enough stress to last a life time. I doff my hat for single mothers I have good friends that are single mothers,some by reason of untimely death of their spouses and some by reason of divorce and one was pregnant and decided to leave her abusive fiancé Amazing mothers and great professionals If any woman has been like me with a husband that worked abroad for a period,you will appreciate how tough it is for single mothers My respect for single mothers grew after that experience You are everything and you also have a job to keep down I believe all women with children,single or married can benefit from the list above 4 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 10:24pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Im a damn good single mother and not ashamed of it. 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Truckpusher(m): 10:30pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
SniperInADiaper: Im a damn good single mother and not ashamed of it.hey!.I'll always be by your side ..haters can go to hell,I don't give a fucck abt em 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by 9jamum(f): 10:35pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
SniperInADiaper: Im a damn good single mother and not ashamed of it. I hear you. Keep up the good work! Well done 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 10:51pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Truckpusher: hey!.I'll always be by your side thanks babe |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 11:01pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Absolutely nothing wrong being a single mom!Like I always point out( Ofcourse Pple condemn me),after marriage,what exists is companionship.I can't imagine being in my 50's and my 60 years old,but living husband wud turn to me and say'"honey,you are looking sexy tonight!"I go just slap him old wrinkled face and pray to die peacefully!Anuofia mmadu!Ewure! Sexy ko!Kim Kardashian ni!!!!with my old and wrinkled punnany :DvBiko kwa! |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Originalsly: 11:10pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
slimyem:Too many sperm banks fighting for sperm donors. @moderator....why was my earlier post hidden? Is it because I pushed against this your feminist agenda? |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 11:23pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Originalsly: Too many sperm banks fighting for sperm donors. @moderator....why was my earlier post hidden? Is it because I pushed against this your feminist agenda? Being a strong single mum has nothing to do with feminism. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by 1k001(m): 11:34pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
The best place to be for everyone is a loving stable family with father and mother. Unfortunately this isnt always possible for a variety of reasons. All one can do is make the best of the situation Respect to all the single mothers but remember that all children need a responsible father figure. The kids will do better when such a figuure is available than otherwise 3 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Babe101: 11:48pm On Jun 12, 2013 |
Hmmmm! Everybody in NL is very very holy. Have u never impregnated a girl before? How many girls have aborted pregnancies for u? We all need to know and accept the fact that most ladies do not become single mums deliberately. I have a friend that was dating a guy for 3years, got pregnant and they both decided to get married. After the introduction, the guy suddenly said he was no longer ready to get married and by then she was over 4months pregnant (3wks to d wedding) and he left. Would u now cast blames on this lady for being a single parent? All these holier than thou men around here, u all have sisters. Do pray that problems do not befall them but for now shut up ur mouths cos u would have also been baby daddies as well if not that u have been convincing one girl to keep aborting and aborting for u |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 12:43am On Jun 13, 2013 |
slimyem: What are you the fvcking? And the big thanks goes to the hopeless and clueless sperm receivers that receives anything that shoots out from a pole of MEAT. |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Originalsly: 12:55am On Jun 13, 2013 |
SniperInADiaper:What exactly is meant by a strong single mom? There are many single moms because of very poor decisions on their part ...many because of circumstances like divorce and death. Despite the cause the tips given here are almost entirely based on raising the child surrounded by women and that's what makes it feminist.How can that mom ever be a great mom if she allows her child to grow up without a father figure? If a boy...how would he grow up to be a man? If a girl how would she grow up to relate well with men? You feel me? |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 12:58am On Jun 13, 2013 |
1k001: The best place to be for everyone is a loving stable family with father and mother.Permit me to say that some men irrespective of marital canopy r bad father figure.I've seen grown ups say how they wish they don't hv a dad. Forget what society and religion MOULDED us to be.It can be likewise for a woman but with small %age. Some comments here r really from kids I must say.what do they know about life? When life's pressing issues hit them one way or d other,I don't think they will be so judgemental and harsh without pausin first..... 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by somegirl1: 1:33am On Jun 13, 2013 |
Originalsly: Hmmm...is this how you redeem yourself from the mistake of being a baby momma? Being a single parent is not something to be proud of.Parents should be role models to their children...don't you think? Why find other people to be role models? This is confirming that you yourself believe you are not a good enough parent for your child. So why advise others? If your child is a boy growing up under all your female role models how will he grow up to be a man? Is this not setting the foundation for him to be one of those hmmm...effeminate men? Then making time for yourself by dumping your child off at whoever...is that not typical baby momma mentality? Why would you be surprised if your child follows in your footsteps? We have to be careful of people like you who seek to dilute then destroy African family values. Don't be silly. What are widows and divorced women with children called? Why do you automatically associate single motherhood with promiscuity? Do you not know that women who are truly promiscuous are "smart" enough to ensure they never become single mothers? You are in no position to judge another. 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by 99cent: 3:24am On Jun 13, 2013 |
Originalsly: What exactly is meant by a strong single mom? There are many single moms because of very poor decisions on their part ...many because of circumstances like divorce and death. Despite the cause the tips given here are almost entirely based on raising the child surrounded by women and that's what makes it feminist.How can that mom ever be a great mom if she allows her child to grow up without a father figure? If a boy...how would he grow up to be a man? If a girl how would she grow up to relate well with men? You feel me? You need to go back to school and learn what feminism means. Most single mothers aren't single by choice. some of them are in the circumstance they are in with 50% of the fault going to the man who refuse his responsibility and probably deserted the child and mother. You should be praising the woman because she did not decide to abandon her child on d side of the road out of shame. neither did she abort her baby. What is there not to be joyful about. anything associated with women for some reason is supposed to be a source of scorn and hate. Go and check yourself. feminist or not, she is raising her child that she loves and cares about and looking for tips to do so to the best of her ability. don't know why it is mostly men who are intent on deciding how women should raise their children yet most of them rarely spend more than 30min with their kids a day. shior. @OP, one advice I will give you is to surround yourself with supportive people and move far away from those who are intent upon criticizing and bringing down your confidence in yourself and your ability to raise your child(ren). You may end up getting married to a good husband in the future, otherwise (or until then), look for successful single mothers and learn from them. In fact, I will post one below. 2 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by 99cent: 3:24am On Jun 13, 2013 |
Here is the link to the story of a Nigerian single mom in UK who singlehandedly raised SEVEN kids ( 4 of them are QUADRUPLETS) successfully that they all got into top universities in London and there are doctors, lawyers among them. The story was carried by a british newspaper. She's definitely a supermom. many married women cannot even accomplish such a feat. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1046028/Its-live-HOW-live-says-sink-estate-single-mum-quadruplets-got-universities.html#ixzz2W3k2go9k It takes determination and hard work but do-able. Yes, having a supportive husband is ideal. but life in unpredictable and can turn out in ways that are unexpected. 1 Like |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 3:37am On Jun 13, 2013 |
99cent: Here is the link to the story of a Nigerian single mom in UK who singlehandedly raised SEVEN kids ( 4 of them are QUADRUPLETS) successfully that they all got into top universities in London and there are doctors, lawyers among them. The story was carried by a british newspaper. She's definitely a supermom. many married women cannot even accomplish such a feat. Incidentally I started a thread here in honor of her back in 2008 https://www.nairaland.com/178854/nigerian-single-mother-london-makes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 5:04am On Jun 13, 2013 |
some-girl: I tire o. So you'd rather we aborted our precious kids because in a moment of passion we let a meat pole pour its sperm in us? I'm waiting for the day anyone will insult me about being a single mother. Some of the fawktards talking here have had countless abortions and are going to end up in the TTC thread and tell us how they swear to Thor they were untouched. I'm so proud of my decision to keep my baby, but if I had to do this again, I'll wait until I'm happily married to have him. Simple. And the ones asking about abstinence, google secondary abstinence. Its very possible, very practisable. When you've got such a huge task as single handedly raising children, the least of your problems will be getting laid, I tell you. If you think all these negativity and self imposed authority to judge will reduce the menace of teen pregnancy/promiscuity, keep it up. You apparently have the energy. I got pregnant as a teen, and I've realised my mistakes. Hell, I'm still paying for them. But I'd choose that over not having my son(abortion) and gloating about being a virgin on NL. 4 Likes |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by Nobody: 5:07am On Jun 13, 2013 |
^^^ Gbamest |
Re: Tips To Becoming A Great Single Mum by greatgod2012(f): 6:17am On Jun 13, 2013 |
For those saying single motherhood should not be encouraged, yes, it should not, but some people just find themselves there, with no fault of theirs at all, like when the other partner dies, or he/she is abusive or he/she is dangerous to live with. It is better to be a single mum than to be a victim of circumstances. For example, see Toyin Arowolo's case,(may her soul RIP), is it not better for her to be a single mum than be the dead? It is better to be a single mum than staying with a man who plans to use his wife for money rituals, (strange but very real). I know a woman whom this happened to, but God found a way of delivering her, would you advise such a woman to continue staying with the woman, because single parenting should not be encouraged? Is it not better to be a single mum than to stay with a man who suddenly join an armed robbery group, and you try to discourage him and he threaten to keep you silent forever. Should such a woman stay there, because single motherhod should not be encouraged? What about widows, is it their fault that they are single mums? May God help us all. 3 Likes |
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