i dont understand how someone can disowned his/her biological child

Without wasting of our time. I think we need legally opinion on this issue.

coogar:

why not?
no one has to put up with any form of abuse. i would definitely write off my child if he's abusive and if he displays all the characters you listed above.

he smokes, drinks, womanises and he's not even doing anything in school? his mates at 18/19 are defending the honour of their respective countries in war-torn areas and this irresponsible boy is bent on dragging his family name in mud.

to hell with such child.....
i would grass him, i would personally pay soldiers to ship his arsë to a military camp where he can learn responsibility. errrrrrrrrrrrr, lest i forget, where's the boy's father?

Evidently, you are still a teenager or in your early 20s. Only a bachelor with self-acclaimed righteousness would spit the way you just did. For one ...

coogar: he smokes, drinks, womanises and he's not even doing anything in school? his mates at 18/19 are defending the honour of their respective countries in war-torn areas and this irresponsible boy is bent on dragging his family name in mud.

Show me a parent, no matter their current position, who didn't go through this stage. even pastor Adeboye was still hitting the bottles in his 30s before he met God. You already know Pastor Chris Okotie's case right? Pastor Jide Ituah Ighalo, one of my favs, was a chronic womaniser before he met God. Obama admitted to using syringe in his late teens and early 20s. Your leaders in Naija did all these things in their prime years. Ask from those motivational speakers who encourage youth to live godly lives now, they went through this stage. The VC of my alma mater, a genuine born again, a very humble man, discussed with us how his life was before he became born again -'skunk, scooby doo and booze'. Just two weeks ago, a Jamaican pastor in my church, surprisingly preached on accepting God and he cited his own life...even after marriage, he was still seriously womanising and rolling 'igbo'...
Now tell me, Mr freddy Coogar, if all these guys were disowned by their parents then because of these things, how many of them would have become great today? Parents don't reason the way young boys do, especially mothers. what I put my own mother through, trust me, I can't even say it...but she bore it all...now, she is the happiest woman I know of. If she had disowned me when i was doing all those stuffs, bros, life wouldnt be the same mehn.
So, no, disowning a child isnt ideal...and no man, regardless of the situation should disown his child(ren).

yuzedo: Na God go punish dat pikin wey wen fall my hand! Ah go waste am!

*Dies.

People, especially women who claim to disown the kids they pushed with all the mind blowing pains, are just jokers. They should find out where they failed in the training of that kid along the line.

Disowning the wayward child may be hard but it wiil help the child to be serious about life. Personally, i will reccommend this method as a threat to the child and not completely, some children need to be drilled so that they can come to their right senses. Nowadays, many children are overpampered by their parent.

When it comes to persecution, i mean a muslim parent disowning the child as a result of his conversion to christianity then it becomes a serious case. Only God can save the child. I believe with prayer, patience and humilty, the parent will come back to their right senses.

Parent should always be around during the formative years to talk, correct, rebuke, if possible beat the child so that when the child becomes and adult, he will be responsible.
We prefer to travel and make more money than staying at home to monitor the child.

God will help us.

I rest my case.

God bless you.

God2man

If my child marries a non-African (non-black), then I will not only disown him/her, but I will hold a funeral, because that child is dead to me.

delors:
Evidently, you are still a teenager or in your early 20s. Only a bachelor with self-acclaimed righteousness would spit the way you just did.

you lack cognitive reasoning.....
what has been a teen or an adolescent gotta do with telling it as it is? mr. septuagenarian, were you a perpetual drunk, chainsmoker, chronic womaniser and a truant at age 18/19? most of the people i grew up with weren't........so i really don't know what you are on about?

For one ... Show me a parent, no matter their current position, who didn't go through this stage. even pastor Adeboye was still hitting the bottles in his 30s before he met God. You already know Pastor Chris Okotie's case right? Pastor Jide Ituah Ighalo, one of my favs, was a chronic womaniser before he met God. Obama admitted to using syringe in his late teens and early 20s. Your leaders in Naija did all these things in their prime years. Ask from those motivational speakers who encourage youth to live godly lives now, they went through this stage. The VC of my alma mater, a genuine born again, a very humble man, discussed with us how his life was before he became born again -'skunk, scooby doo and booze'. Just two weeks ago, a Jamaican pastor in my church, surprisingly preached on accepting God and he cited his own life...even after marriage, he was still seriously womanising and rolling 'igbo'...
Now tell me, Mr freddy Coogar, if all these guys were disowned by their parents then because of these things, how many of them would have become great today? Parents don't reason the way young boys do, especially mothers. what I put my own mother through, trust me, I can't even say it...but she bore it all...now, she is the happiest woman I know of. If she had disowned me when i was doing all those stuffs, bros, life wouldnt be the same mehn.
So, no, disowning a child isnt ideal...and no man, regardless of the situation should disown his child(ren).

2000 words and yet no common sense in your write-up! all these people you mentioned still managed to complete their degrees in their respective choice of discipline.

the best student in my set was a user.......and this lad would practically write codes that would make bill gates green with envy!

my problem with this irresponsible soul is not his social vices of smoking and drinking - it's his lack of foresight that education is a very vital important tool in this day and age.......

the pastor adeboye you mentioned is a Ph.D holder in applied mathematics! using him to draw parallels to this lad is a daft analogy. i don't care how many bottles he hits or how many women he slaughters as long as he makes education is #1 priority!

Nothing, i pray.

bellong: Disowning a "rotten" child will not make him/her become good but will harden the child to continue with his atrocities. The best bet in dealing with such children is endurance, patience, wisdom and prayer. Above all showing them love that will one day catch up with them to change.

However, lawyers should help answer the question if there is a legal provision for disowning an erring child.

Legally, there is no provision for 'disowning' The only thing you can do is to write a will and exclude him from it. God help you if you die intestate (without a will), and the court appoints an administrator to distribute your property, he'll have as much right to it as your non-disowned children. Besides, you cannot compel him to drop your surname!
Scripturally, if God loved us while we were yet sinners and released his only begotten son to die a shameful death, on no account should a parent disown a child.
PS: Prayerfully train a child the way he should go, and spare yourself a lifetime of pain and stress.

chaircover: How do you disown your child anyway. Do you suddenly just stop loving the child or what?

I can understand their frustration but verbally disowning him is not the answer to their problem. A child is permanently linked to his/her parents for life so they are just wasting time.

You can legally untie the knot by advertising it in the papers. The reason is that often times when the child commits a crime and disappears, the police will come to arrest the parents as a first step (which on its own is an illegality). However, if you publicly disown such a child, then his sins will be visited on him only. What you are saing essentially by that act is that i am no longer your mum or dad, i will extend no welfare to you and do not extend anything good or bad to me. Thenceforth, you have become alien and indeed stop answering or bearing my name.

The bad side is that a really bad pickin will come back and eliminate the man (or woman) sometime someday

coogar:

you lack cognitive reasoning.....
what has been a teen or an adolescent gotta do with telling it as it is? mr. septuagenarian, were you a perpetual drunk, chainsmoker, chronic womaniser and a truant at age 18/19? most of the people i grew up with weren't........so i really don't know what you are on about?

2000 words and yet no common sense in your write-up! all these people you mentioned still managed to complete their degrees in their respective choice of discipline.

the best student in my set was a user.......and this lad would practically write codes that would make bill gates green with envy!

my problem with this irresponsible soul is not his social vices of smoking and drinking - it's his lack of foresight that education is a very vital important tool in this day and age.......

the pastor adeboye you mentioned is a Ph.D holder in applied mathematics! using him to draw parallels to this lad is a daft analogy. i don't care how many bottles he hits or how many women he slaughters as long as he makes education is #1 priority!

Fredddddy Coogar! You keep surprising me with the way you write some times. I merely pointed out why it isnt ideal to disown a child because of his/her waywardness in the early age, and booom! na to insult n yab u fit do. Brainless. My analogies are on point. Those guys I mentioned were wayward in their early years and I have seen worse. Students dropping out of school because of their waywardness, yet their parents never disown or ship their a%% to any gitmo. Stop talking trash bro. Address the point. I know a friend, female, my course mate back then, she was always rocking parties, smoking anything, jumping on anything erect. Eventually, she was advised to withdraw in 300L. Her parents enrolled her at a private school after wards, now, a graduate n masters holder, married n doing just fine. If her father/mother had shipped her b*tt to a gitmo (as u would have done) or disowned her, she probably wouldnt be working as an economist in a cool firm now.
Think with your brain, not ur a$$. (count the words again n tell me it makes no sense )

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

delors:
Fredddddy Coogar! You keep surprising me with the way you write some times. I merely pointed out why it isnt ideal to disown a child because of his/her waywardness in the early age, and booom! na to insult n yab u fit do. Brainless. My analogies are on point. Those guys I mentioned were wayward in their early years and I have seen worse. Students dropping out of school because of their waywardness, yet their parents never disown or ship their a%% to any gitmo. Stop talking trash bro. Address the point.

18/19 is not early age - the boy is old!
he's been spoken to by the parents. they have asked him to choose between them and his army of hoodlums, he has made his choice. besides, he's stopped listening! how soon before this lad gets into big trouble....

I know a friend, female, my course mate back then, she was always rocking parties, smoking anything, jumping on anything erect. Eventually, she was advised to withdraw in 300L. Her parents enrolled her at a private school after wards, now, a graduate n masters holder, married n doing just fine. If her father/mother had shipped her b*tt to a gitmo (as u would have done) or disowned her, she probably wouldnt be working as an economist in a cool firm now.
Think with your brain, not ur a$$. (count the words again n tell me it makes no sense )

be smart, don't be a rëtard!
your female friend listened and was ready to change. she didn't abandon her home for some cult girls. how can you not see you keep making daft analogies? are you recto-cranially inverted?

Parenting is not a job we can quit or walk away from. Parents should always try different ways to help their children learn right from wrong. I agree, there are children that are hard to raise cuz they have bad attitude and don't obey. These are the kids who need more love and attention. Parents should lead by example.

coogar:

you lack cognitive reasoning.....
what has been a teen or an adolescent gotta do with telling it as it is? mr. septuagenarian, were you a perpetual drunk, chainsmoker, chronic womaniser and a truant at age 18/19? most of the people i grew up with weren't........so i really don't know what you are on about?





2000 words and yet no common sense in your write-up! all these people you mentioned still managed to complete their degrees in their respective choice of discipline.

the best student in my set was a user.......and this lad would practically write codes that would make bill gates green with envy!

my problem with this irresponsible soul is not his social vices of smoking and drinking - it's his lack of foresight that education is a very vital important tool in this day and age.......

the pastor adeboye you mentioned is a Ph.D holder in applied mathematics! using him to draw parallels to this lad is a daft analogy. i don't care how many bottles he hits or how many women he slaughters as long as he makes education is #1 priority!

Guy, why have you too given up on this boy? You talk as if it's too late for him to back to school.

That said, and as CC earlier asked, how do you disown a child afterall, by causing your womb that bore him, or by putting up a disclaimer that you never gave birth to such child? Then who did?

ayobase: Its never right, and should never be condoned......it should be stated as crime!

The reason why some children will go astray is always when they are being pushed to the wall against their wills....instead of supporting, the parents tend to dictate over them......
The parents are often always the cause of disowning their children....THEY DEMAND TOO MUCH!

Disown?
So, u wanna say u don't OWN YOUR child again....Foolish, barbaric and godless act!

It reminds of a case of Pastor's daughter in Ibadan........make we leave tori for another day!

Even Baba God for heaven wouldn't disown despite all our sins and sins......if I were Jesus, I wouldn't have died for mankind. Imagine, they preferred that thief and murderer to Jesus that meant no harm!

As far as I'm concerned, there is difference between disowning and parking aside!

To crown it up, he/she that disowns should forget about making heaven....SIMPLE!

But that pastor no disown d daughter sha o cos dt daughter rocks like heaven and she so famous

Yomieluv: train a child in the way of God,and he wont depart from it..
a person would always make a reference to his upbringing ,no matter what.

when i got admission,my mum pleaded with me never to become a cultist,that kept me going through out my university days....
i had so many temptation,but i always remember the promises i made to my mum....

meaning that i stuck to her training on me.

parental responsibility goes on long way in a child life.

So cos ur mum begged U not to join cult was d reason y u didn't join or cos she was always crying,that was y u turned good...SMH

People who need children can't conceive while some morons have 9.

Nothing can make me disown my child.

sanniemoe:

But that pastor no disown d daughter sha o cos dt daughter rocks like heaven and she so famous

Thank God sombody knows about her...the daughter is now a changed person.....TOLERANCE and PRAYER!

delors:

Evidently, you are still a teenager or in your early 20s. Only a bachelor with self-acclaimed righteousness would spit the way you just did. For one ... Show me a parent, no matter their current position, who didn't go through this stage. even pastor Adeboye was still hitting the bottles in his 30s before he met God. You already know Pastor Chris Okotie's case right? Pastor Jide Ituah Ighalo, one of my favs, was a chronic womaniser before he met God. Obama admitted to using syringe in his late teens and early 20s. Your leaders in Naija did all these things in their prime years. Ask from those motivational speakers who encourage youth to live godly lives now, they went through this stage. The VC of my alma mater, a genuine born again, a very humble man, discussed with us how his life was before he became born again -'skunk, scooby doo and booze'. Just two weeks ago, a Jamaican pastor in my church, surprisingly preached on accepting God and he cited his own life...even after marriage, he was still seriously womanising and rolling 'igbo'...
Now tell me, Mr freddy Coogar, if all these guys were disowned by their parents then because of these things, how many of them would have become great today? Parents don't reason the way young boys do, especially mothers. what I put my own mother through, trust me, I can't even say it...but she bore it all...now, she is the happiest woman I know of. If she had disowned me when i was doing all those stuffs, bros, life wouldnt be the same mehn.
So, no, disowning a child isnt ideal...and no man, regardless of the situation should disown his child(ren).

Excellent post. Disowning a child for smoking, drinking and womanizing is quite ridiculous. And laughable.

coogar:

you lack cognitive reasoning.....
what has been a teen or an adolescent gotta do with telling it as it is? mr. septuagenarian, were you a perpetual drunk, chainsmoker, chronic womaniser and a truant at age 18/19? most of the people i grew up with weren't........so i really don't know what you are on about?





2000 words and yet no common sense in your write-up! all these people you mentioned still managed to complete their degrees in their respective choice of discipline.

the best student in my set was a user.......and this lad would practically write codes that would make bill gates green with envy!

my problem with this irresponsible soul is not his social vices of smoking and drinking - it's his lack of foresight that education is a very vital important tool in this day and age.......

the pastor adeboye you mentioned is a Ph.D holder in applied mathematics! using him to draw parallels to this lad is a daft analogy. i don't care how many bottles he hits or how many women he slaughters as long as he makes education is #1 priority!

And education is morally transforming right?
They're many educated prostitutes and so on. very educated. Vice is perpetrated by all in all strata of society.
Education makes you a better person!! - watch the film "chasing maddock"
the man who orchestrated the financial collapse in the U.S that spread its ripple effect globally.
wasnt he educated?!
As for the education thing, what about rich dropouts who jettisoned school?!
Education , with an evil mind only creates smarter miscreants.
They're chemist creating designer steriods and dope - aint they educated?
nuclear bomb facilities in North korea made by illiterates?
Enron and financial scandals in corporate world orchestrated by dunces!

At teenage hood most people are trying to meet the status quo and gain an identity.
guys want to prove themselves to their friends - that they can get a girl, smoke ,drink -
in later years they may see it all as foolishness , some may even become experts at it,
and become addicted chronic practitioners but the parents should know this - they themselves passed thru this phases -
Not throw threats of disowment at the child.

coogar:

18/19 is not early age - the boy is old!
he's been spoken to by the parents. they have asked him to choose between them and his army of hoodlums, he has made his choice. besides, he's stopped listening! how soon before this lad gets into big trouble....




be smart, don't be a rëtard!
your female friend listened and was ready to change. she didn't abandon her home for some cult girls. how can you not see you keep making daft analogies? are you recto-cranially inverted?

so 18/19 is beyond repair!!.
if the parents do this they'll b the biggest fools on th planet.
Wat can the young man be if the parent keep working on him till say he's 29!! ten years frm now!!.
if the parents insists on visiting the parents of his bad friends and talking to them. and wrning the children.
if the parents insists on creating a conducive family in the home.
some parents make their home a hell hole, always criticizing , washing down the child , dehumanising and insulting
the child in the name of "advising" or "talking " to the child. and when the child is old enough , he doesnt want
to come home, he stays out. out with who!! wrong gangs.
Have the parents checked themselvs.
Fathers and mothers should first befriend their children, make it easy for their children to approach them and say
their mind to them - picture GOD , he is open to being approached 24/7. He says come boldly to the throne of grace
...(Talking of the BIble God here). He want to have fellowship with his children, are earthly father/mothers the same.
Does it suprise you that most chldren identify mor with their mothers cuz their mothers wer mor ACCESSIBLE -
and thru friendship /fellowship with the mom, they DELIBERATELY wouldnt want to do anything to HURT her cuz
the value the RELATIONSHIP, most parents have zilch skill and building relatioships. Then wonder why the children
go bad - fyi, the japanese cult gangs use this principle to bring in more members into their gangs.
They befriend, and in a cold world where no body really cares about the "miscreant" son , the
termed useless person opens up to the new friend and thru their friendship he's enticed to joining the gang
and they stay cuz of the sense of "family" in the gang!!.
Think on these.
There's more to bringing up a child than always correcting.

It's only in Naija that people even bother with this type of unnecessary arguments. In most developed countries, an 18-year old is a full-grown adult that's absolutely free to do as he/she pleases. Families don't even bother to go through the elaborate ritual of "disowning"... when the child's craze becomes too much to handle, they just call the cops and file a restraining order. C'est fini! That child can waka about as he/she pleases because adults are held fully accountable for their choices.

jmoore:
I have a case study. This boy is the bad apple in the family, he even fights with his own father and insults him publicly. His siblings are good.
Some parents try to raise their kids the right way but some kids end up choosing a bad lifestyle.
How can a son threaten to kill his own father. And you think the father will stand and watch?

At some points, the parents didn't train him well. Remember, you don't treat all the children in same manner as some need more strict discipline than the others. Therefore, you cannot conclude that he is the bad apple if the parents were expecting him to conform like the other kids without sensing the need for different measures while training them.

when i discover ma child is in facebook,twitter,2go and nairaland or any social network or when ma child dancing asonto or alingo dance.when i discover ma child is in facebook,twitter,2go and nairaland or any social network or when ma child dancing asonto or alingo dance.when i discover ma child is in facebook,twitter,2go and nairaland or any social network or when ma child dancing asonto or alingo dance.

coogar:

18/19 is not early age - the boy is old!
he's been spoken to by the parents. they have asked him to choose between them and his army of hoodlums, he has made his choice. besides, he's stopped listening! how soon before this lad gets into big trouble....


be smart, don't be a rëtard!
your female friend listened and was ready to change. she didn't abandon her home for some cult girls. how can you not see you keep making daft analogies? are you recto-cranially inverted?

...And Mr Gorilla, when I said 'advised to withdraw', unless you have never been to a higher institution, it means rusticated! Getting rusticated after 3years (+ x) in a renowned university studying one of the topmost courses, you should understand what that means. A mother could have a heart attack for that and a father could weep because of that...So wake up from you deep slumber. You must have missed your bus, better take you back to school toddler.

delors:
...And Mr Gorilla, when I said 'advised to withdraw', unless you have never been to a higher institution, it means rusticated! Getting rusticated after 3years (+ x) in a renowned university studying one of the topmost courses, you should understand what that means. A mother could have a heart attack for that and a father could weep because of that...So wake up from you deep slumber. You must have missed your bus, better take you back to school toddler.

you must function on a single-digit IQ....
advised to withdraw? so? you want to compare someone who is actually in school writing exams to the other guy that cannot even gain an admission and not even interested to try at all?

the problem with sheep like you is the ineptitude and the lack of common sense to pick out what's right from wrong. i still have mad respect for a student who failed in school to the one who isn't even trying at all. your female friend is light years ahead of this lad. no comparison should be drawn unless of course, you dwell in a parallel universe.

kambo:
And education is morally transforming right?

it's the least requirement in nigeria.....
we are talking about a son whose parents are ready to sponsor his education and he doesn't seem to be interested.....on top of that, he's ornery!

They're many educated prostitutes and so on. very educated. Vice is perpetrated by all in all strata of society. Education makes you a better person!! - watch the film "chasing maddock"
the man who orchestrated the financial collapse in the U.S that spread its ripple effect globally.
wasnt he educated?!
As for the education thing, what about rich dropouts who jettisoned school?!
Education , with an evil mind only creates smarter miscreants.
They're chemist creating designer steriods and dope - aint they educated?
nuclear bomb facilities in North korea made by illiterates?
Enron and financial scandals in corporate world orchestrated by dunces!

heap of codswallop!
there are many educated pröstitutes? whose fault is that? the individual or the government of the country that cannot provide employment?

don't send your child to school because there are chemists providing designer steroids, there are engineers designing missiles that can wipe off the surface of the earth. what a way to argue - because planes can crash then people should be walking from one continent to another, right?

there goes your window of intelligence.....

At teenage hood most people are trying to meet the status quo and gain an identity.
guys want to prove themselves to their friends - that they can get a girl, smoke ,drink -
in later years they may see it all as foolishness , some may even become experts at it,
and become addicted chronic practitioners but the parents should know this - they themselves passed thru this phases -
Not throw threats of disowment at the child.

in the adolescent state, people are trying to gain an identity but they do that while their eyes are firmly on the ball(education). i doubt his parents would have complained if he's in a university studying accounting even with his vices multiplied by 10.

attempting to meet the status quo and education can co-exist!

jmoore:

I have a case study. This boy is the bad apple in the family, he even fights with his own father and insults him publicly. His siblings are good.
Some parents try to raise their kids the right way but some kids end up choosing a bad lifestyle.
How can a son threaten to kill his own father. And you think the father will stand and watch?

such matter as become a spiritual matter they should consult God on the matter. imaging a mother that should be the one going out to make sure a children life is worth it, but ironically she is even the one talking about disowning her child.