What Can Make You Disown Your Child? - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Can Make You Disown Your Child? (12379 Views)
Photo: What Would You Do If You Came Home And Saw Your Child Like This!! / Parents Of Girl Who Kidnapped Herself Disown Her.(pic) / What Will Make You Disown Your Child? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)
| What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by greatgod2012(f): 7:54pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
Hi peeps, Yesterday, i went to my mom's place to visit, and a certain younger friend(omo afe) of hers also came to visit, and along the line with their discussion, i overheard the woman telling my mom that she had disowned her son, because the boy had refused to yield or listen to elderly advice, she said the boy had joined bad groups who smokes, drinks, womanises, and that she even heard that those groups he joined are cultists, she said, she had talked to him severally, but the boy refused to adhere. Therefore, with her hubby's support, they had jointly decided to disown the boy. She told my mum that she had called him and gave him 7 days ultimatum to choose between the group and them(parent), if after the 7 days, the boy has not changed and leave the groups, they will completely disown him and even publicise it in some of the national newspapers. After she left, i asked my mum of the boy's age, and she said.....around 18/19. I asked if hes already in school, she said, hes yet to gain an admission, but has refused to live with his mum, they dont even know where he sleeps, he only comes home once in a while. Now, my question is, is this right? Arent other better ways to go about this than disowning the boy? Can such decision have any effect(negative or positive) on the boy? Can anyone here do the same? Lets discuss and learn. So, over to you, hopefully, many may likely benefit from this thread. Thanks in anticipation and may God help all parents. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by jmoore(m): 8:51pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
Do you really know what some of these parents go through? Most of these bad children are giving their parents high blood pressure. Some of them even fight with their parents. 5 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by ayobase(m): 8:59pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
Its never right, and should never be condoned......it should be stated as crime! The reason why some children will go astray is always when they are being pushed to the wall against their wills....instead of supporting, the parents tend to dictate over them...... The parents are often always the cause of disowning their children....THEY DEMAND TOO MUCH! Disown? So, u wanna say u don't OWN YOUR child again....Foolish, barbaric and godless act! It reminds of a case of Pastor's daughter in Ibadan........make we leave tori for another day! Even Baba God for heaven wouldn't disown despite all our sins and sins......if I were Jesus, I wouldn't have died for mankind. Imagine, they preferred that thief and murderer to Jesus that meant no harm! As far as I'm concerned, there is difference between disowning and parking aside! To crown it up, he/she that disowns should forget about making heaven....SIMPLE! 4 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by ayobase(m): 9:01pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
Do you know what the children also do go through from their parents? jmoore: Do you really know what some of these parents go through? 2 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 9:04pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
U cannot verbally disown ur child. I don't know abt d constitution but even if u do,it holds no ground. Yes children can be a disapointmnt sometimes but that doesn't call for verbally disownin ur blood! Nothing pass lv.it conquers all. even if ur child is facing firin squard,has humiliated and even beat u,still muster d courage to say child I lv u even though I hate ur xter.wish it would hv bn diff. As for any parent that thinks bc they gave birth to u and that gave them d right to talk to d child anyway,I pity such pple cos they really don't know d abcd of parentin. Word r d most powerful weapon on earth.even in heaven. David wasn't really that good but he always turn away God's wrath with pleasin words! One of d reasons I like watching western movies.u hardly c them curse their children unlike our own,no matter how bad d kid is. As for that woman,tell her that somebody said she failed as a mother.train up a child d way he will grow... C her mouth like I want to disown my son. ,u even no try at all! If na me,by d time I finish with that woman,she will go and look for her son and ask for forgiveness! Patience,endurance,perseverance, faith,hope and most importantly love are every parent's companion 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by jmoore(m): 9:09pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
ayobase: Do you know what the children also do go through from their parents?I have a case study. This boy is the bad apple in the family, he even fights with his own father and insults him publicly. His siblings are good. Some parents try to raise their kids the right way but some kids end up choosing a bad lifestyle. How can a son threaten to kill his own father. And you think the father will stand and watch? 4 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 9:54pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Stegomiah: 11:52pm On Jun 15, 2013 |
Only a parent dat does not reason well, will disown his/her child. Someone you carried for 9 months and went thru d agony of labour for, someone you fed, sheltered, loved and cared for, someone u've been investing on all dis yl, someone you paid tuition fees, clothed... No mata wat, a parent should never disown his/her child. Aldo some children can make like frustrating 4 one, but dats y u ar a parent, be patient, be vigilant, live an examplary life, handle dem with care, apply discipline when needed, you also need Gods wisdom and grace. Lyk some one said 'if you will know what ur child/children will become or turn out to be in life, many would av a rethink b4 procreating. The armed robbers, scammers etc, and great Men like obama, Gani, chinua ar all someones child. Lyk i said earlier it takes wisdom and the grace of God to train up a child, and if u've done ur best and d child isn't wat u desire him 2be, pray nd leave it 2 God. Even jesus christ could not save dem all, judas was an exemption. Under no circumstance should one give up on his/her child, giving up does not end the chances of his/her life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it evergetting better. 3 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by coogar: 12:11am On Jun 16, 2013 |
greatgod2012: why not? no one has to put up with any form of abuse. i would definitely write off my child if he's abusive and if he displays all the characters you listed above. he smokes, drinks, womanises and he's not even doing anything in school? his mates at 18/19 are defending the honour of their respective countries in war-torn areas and this irresponsible boy is bent on dragging his family name in mud. to hell with such child..... i would grass him, i would personally pay soldiers to ship his arsë to a military camp where he can learn responsibility. errrrrrrrrrrrr, lest i forget, where's the boy's father? 9 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by armyofone(m): 3:06am On Jun 16, 2013 |
I have 6packs of Heineken for you. coogar: |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by ayobase(m): 6:46am On Jun 16, 2013 |
coogar: U aint disowning him after-all...just wanna discipline him...the LOVE will always be there! But u got me cracked up sha! |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by biolabee(m): 8:15am On Jun 16, 2013 |
@stegomiah pray you don't have a hellish brood then you will know who is not reasoning well Sweet post coogar: |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 8:16am On Jun 16, 2013 |
Mr Cooger,u rnt serious! U still didn't disown him! Hv u any right to disown ur child? Stuck like superglue to u! For that woman to open her mouth and utter rubbish with d consent of her hubby,the two of them r complete FAILURE! God knows what they must hv bn stufin into his head!now they want to act d good parents that hv bn tryin soooo hard to make him change. Givin him ultimatum! What kind of parents r they? |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by biolabee(m): 9:25am On Jun 16, 2013 |
I don't think you have enough info to label another parent as a failure I assume you are a parent yourself Some treess just yield bad fruit No fault of no one We hear of judges who have cultists as sons Pastors have one black sheep I think generally we are too quick to judge considering we don't know what this boy has put his parents through Any kawyer in the house, can you legally disown a child I know of disinheriting Aside, watched menace 2 society yesterday and saw that the issues dogging blacks 20 yrs ago are still relevant today yellowpawpaw: Mr Cooger,u rnt serious! U still didn't disown him! 1 Like |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 10:03am On Jun 16, 2013 |
biolabee: I don't think you have enough info to label another parent as a failureI called them failure bc of what came out from her mouth.period. If she can say that outside,I wonder what goes behind d closed door. As u disown ur child instead of lookin for help till thy kingdom come even if it is not workin,r they better off.I tell u such parent usually die bitter! My uncle disowned his son when I was a kid.till today as an adult,I hv never set my eyes on that guy.heard he is in lagos.only sufaced wen d dad died.even though others were doin well,he was very bitter.set out search party once for d guy,begged for forgiveness but d guy didn't bulge.one day,d man slumped and that was all.still d guy's name is in d kindred's register.no matter how bad,such words must not come out of ur mouth!pple don beg d guy tire cos they now know what he do and where he lives,he said he is not part of d family.so sad,I feel for him. That's why I'm against this very well. Read my first post.out of anger,we can spout anything from our mouth but we must forever live with d consequence. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by biolabee(m): 10:44am On Jun 16, 2013 |
Hmmm... I get you but calling others parental failures considering we also don't know the future is what I was getting at In the example you brought up, are you saying the father tried to reconcile with his son before he died and did the son find his path eventually yellowpawpaw: |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 1:53pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Mr biolabee,I call them failures bc they hv given up on their son. Failure means when u didn't get something right and u give up even if u've bn tryin ur best to get it. I will give u another example. Durin d bakassi tyme,I hapned to witness one of their bizzare killin unintentionally at my place. I knew one of d guys kild.early forty kind of guy.he was bad,every body knows.but on dat day,what caught my attention was d mum.she insisted on seein her son for d last time even in such a bad situation. She was wailing.pple were consolin her.I can't start narratin what she said cos I even cried.pple cried with her.she didn't give up even in death and we all know she did her best.get it? Like I said earlier,any parent that said s/he will disown admitted s/he is a failure. Durin uni,one bad guy in d nebor hood was know for doin it all wrong.a time he was mentally unstable.guess d dad?a well know and respected prof.d guy left d family house and was livin alone. A caricature.he has bn taken to rehab,counseled many times.I still remember d dad's numerous visits and humiliation but that man didn't give up.that guy spent more than 8yrs in school.d last time I went to dat school,I met him.he actually stopd me.I wanted to run but they told me that he is ok now and a grad.it took d family yrs of constantly showing lv and it paid off. Even if it didn't,u can't disown. God still show lv to us despite our shortcomings.spouses still show lv to abbusive and bad mates even when pple thing they r crazy cos they hope dat there will be change one day.how much more ur child! I think I can't explain my statement more than this.thank u. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by biolabee(m): 2:20pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Hmmmm I get what you saying however remember parents are humans also The prayer is that our efforts on them are not wasted May God help us all yellowpawpaw: Mr biolabee,I call them failures bc they hv given up on their son. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Winneygirl(f): 2:42pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
My worry about all these 'prodigal sons' is that they get involved in so many evils that endangers their lives. Some of them lose their lives before they regain their senses. . There was dis rebellious boy whose Mum threatened to disown him. Somehow they got into an argument and d boy told his Mum that he was going to lie down in d middle of d highway so dat a verhicle would run over him. Boy rushed out of the house to carry out his threat. The mother followed to see if he had d guts to do it. When he got close enough to d main road, the mum pulled him back out of fear and started begging him. . He was killed by some unknown people some months later. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by bellong: 2:45pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Disowning a "rotten" child will not make him/her become good but will harden the child to continue with his atrocities. The best bet in dealing with such children is endurance, patience, wisdom and prayer. Above all showing them love that will one day catch up with them to change. However, lawyers should help answer the question if there is a legal provision for disowning an erring child. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by greatgod2012(f): 3:51pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
coogar: coogar, you got me rolling on the floor laughing. Did you read the part where i typed that both the mum and the dad had jointly decided to disown him. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by greatgod2012(f): 4:03pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: U cannot verbally disown ur child. I don't know abt d constitution but even if u do,it holds no ground. i cant easily and quickly call them failures, only God knows how hard they have tried to make the boy what they wanted him to be, which the boy have refused to cooperate with them. However, i dont believe that disowning him can be a better thing to do, they could have adopted a better technique like what coogar said(hiring a soldier to discipline him), or changing his enviroment or any other better method. May God help us all. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by k2039: 4:08pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
IMHO, his parents have done nothing wrong. If they want to live long, that's just the best thing to do. Any child that disgraces my surname is gone for good in my own books. As a matter of fact I agree with the point where she said they would publicise it in the paper that he is no longer their son, that way they aren't claiming any responsibility for his actions. About the consequences, the boy chose is path. For the parents since they have other kids, they can just focus on those ones. Alafia lo ju, ti eniyan o ba bi omo amo ti o ba bi alafia, o san ju omo jatijati lo. 2 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by greatgod2012(f): 4:10pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
chaircover: How do you disown your child anyway. Do you suddenly just stop loving the child or what? yes, we may think so, but, who knows, how the boy had pushed them to the wall before they can come to such conclusion, however, other methods can still be employed instead of disowning the boy, and who knows, whether the threat they gave him can make him have a change of heart. May God help all parents and let not our efforts on our children be in vain. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by baby124: 4:18pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
This was a popular threat of my father's to his sons. It is not easy raising many boys. So many different characters and they spring up surprises every year. Would I disown a child? Absolutely. If that child is hell bent sending me to the grave, and I have tried all I can for the child. Some children are really really bad. Some parents have serial killers on their hands as children e.g cult members, armed robbers, kidnappers and terrorists. I am sorry, I could never love such a child. Or even want to associate a name I have worked to hard to build with such a child. Because I know I would have tried my best in raising them. Disowning a child means he is no longer entitled to answer your name, identify with your family or family house. He is also not entitled to any inheritance after your death. So many children end up killing their parents, I will rather distance myself and write that child off. Even if he/she kills me. I know at the end of the day, the person is not entitled to my good work, hard work and struggles. Shikena. I will not take disgrace from any child, I didn't do such to my parents. 3 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by greatgod2012(f): 4:20pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
bellong: Disowning a "rotten" child will not make him/her become good but will harden the child to continue with his atrocities. The best bet in dealing with such children is endurance, patience, wisdom and prayer. Above all showing them love that will one day catch up with them to change. im also expecting lawyersor should i say a law enforcing person to come and educate us. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 4:26pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
I can't think of a reason why I'd disown my child but I will go to any length to set him right including going coogar's way. 1 Like |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 4:27pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
would disowning make the boy turn good boy? is like using a sledge hammer to kill an ant. the woman was only hiding her failure as a parent by doing that. Me disown my child,never....i would rather pray he/she turns good,no situation in life is irredeemable.. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by k2039: 4:48pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Yomieluv: would disowning make the boy turn good boy?God forbid this occurence. But what if he doesn't change?. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 7:15pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
k2039:you keep talking to him,it will get to a point,he would have a rethink about his life na. i would rather keep talking to him,than totallt disown him. |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Mynd44: 7:47pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
Yomieluv: you keep talking to him,it will get to a point,he would have a rethink about his life na.When your own son becomes a terror suspect and decides to use your boysquarters as a base for his boys and him. Keep talking oooo 3 Likes |
| Re: What Can Make You Disown Your Child? by Nobody: 8:04pm On Jun 16, 2013 |
first,for a child to be wayward shows that the parents have failed in their responsibilities. a good parent would first look at the loopholes they failed,then try to correct it. Mynd_44: |
10 Wonderful Reasons To Be Grateful To Your Mother / Help Me Out -my Wife Change Completely After Wedding / Married Guys; How Did You Cope During Your First Year In Marriage?
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 95 |