Well as you know i just have to make things happen for myself.

My most vivid experience goes like this,

On the day I was to fly to the uk, I made sure I ate a kingsized plate of garri and okazi soup, since it may be my last garri for a long time. The flight I used was a virgin flight, and we were served all sorts of burgers, tea, and desserts and I just couldn't reject them, as I had paid a lot for the ticket from ph to london.

Two hours into the flight, I started sweating profusely, as my stomach was rumbling real bad. In short it was like the third world war was taking place in my stomach. One fine girl even invited me to chat with her but I said no to avoid embarassing myself. I was so pressed that I felt sick and the thought of using the toilet on the plane was out of the question because I knew the kind of bombs I would release.

So I waited until the plane landed at Gatwick airport, rushed to be among the first five to exit the plane, and as soon as we made it out of the tunnel headed straight for the toilet.(Thank God say oyibo get tissue for all their toilet). What happened next is not to be mentioned here. But I pity the people who cleaned the toilet that day.

Phew.

@ papas. onijekuje. you wanted to eat all your money's worth ehn?
i dont blame you. i did the same thing first time i came abroad. i asked for any and everything o, all those canned drinks they serve, i asked for every single type (at different times though), i packed all the snacks including those of my sisters in my bag. remain small make i pack the headphones, blankets, pillows etc. the flight attendants tire for me o.

i was like what? shebi i paid for it now? shuuu!

Any more first experience in the US, tell me more, I love to hear yours!!!

Got on a perimeter in one of the majoy US cities and could not understand why I kept arriving at the same spot after driving around it like 5 times in more than 2 hours and my gas tank was almost bone dry.

I had forget to exit off the "perimeter" and just kept driving around thinking it was a "straight" road.

Now I know a "perimeter" is a circular intra-state highway not a linear inter-state highway!!!!!!

Very first time I visited---had the opportunity of working in a Nigerian restuarant in Houston Texas for some holiday job money with my aunt's Shola Shola # of course.  Stout, Heineken and Malt were served and I started collecting the bottles in one corner, instead of throwing them in the trash.

The owner of the place had to tell me "This is not Nigeria ok?  We do not save used bottles here" .  Felt very humiliated then. Now it is funny to me.

I am just loving this thread As for me, I used to confuse sausage and bacon. The breakfast guy at my school will ask me which I wanted and I keep telling him, I want the round one. He goes "sausage"? I go, whichever is the round one! Those were the days I tell ya

Or the use of "soda" in restaurants and fast food joints. It was a long time before I realized they did not mean "club soda" as it is used in Nigeria.

No, I want coke or sprite.

But those are sodas ma'am.

Oh?---okay!

Or went to church and picked up a collection envelope as the man offered me the basket as I was heading out of the church.  Did not realize it was for people who did not have time to pay their "offerings" while in church.  The usher did not say a word. 


I got into the car before I realized what I had done-----stolen someone's money from an offering basket.  The envelope was sealed and you could see a check inside. I ran back and returned it--Explained to the guy that I thought it was an empty envelope to be mailed from home.  He just smiled. I could only imagine what went through the oyinbo man's mind----------


NIGERIANS AGAIN!!!!

Papas=funny

Very funny experiences, i've been lmfao

This happened in 1994, u.k not u.s

We were at the heathrow airport on our way back to nigeria from the u.k. My senior sister wanted to use the toilet so i followed her, after a while, i decided to wait outside in front of the toilet.

BY the time she came out, her face was white with thick hand washing liquid soap all over her face. The lady that was cleaning the toilet floor just pointed at her face and started laughing.

I now joined and was laughing real hard at her .I then asked her what she put on her face, she said her face was dry so pressed out some lotion from the machine and rubbed it on her face, she didnt realise it was hand washing liquid that came out of the dispenser and not face lotion.

Lots of funny stuffs here.You guys makes my day. My first time in Holland was really terrible and i had a big travelling bag with me. I remmber at the Airport using the wrong elevator steps. The steps where coming down while i was to go up,at the end i had to ran up stairs. I nearly died.
always had stomach upset froming drinking milks, During summer the sun stayed late so i was like when it's dark i will have dinner. I was so hungry that later realized that's it almost 11:00 pm,
Was always scared of the cops and people where very freindly to me, i remeber taking wrong buses and droping off at the middle of know where. My first time on a bicycle during the winter peak to go do groceries 6km away. I nearly passed away from fatique on my way back, And people always asking you if you are from Zimbabwe or Ghana.
I remeber trying to pull the Dutch girls at clubs and at parties and how i longed to make love to my first white lady, i later did,the girls where cream with nice bodies and tits.I remmber a girl a made love to when she come a thick white fluid came out of her vulva.The sight was bright taking and my neighbours had us groaning.
Also in the grocery stores,the workers always keep track of us. Too much memories i can't write them all. I went cycling and all most lost my fingers because i had no gloves on,very painful. In the summer staying in doors with the heat and not evening thinking of going for a walk or just to to the terras

papas experience and suzi's really got me rolling on the floor with laughter.

There are real interesting stories here

Took a friend of mine to a restuarant the other day.He had just arrived from Nigeria.As it was in the morning I ordered a full english breakfast for both of us.When it arrived I told my friend there was pork in it as he is a muslim.He then proceeded to ask what the pork was and I pointed at the bacon.Before I could say jack robinson he beckoned to the waitress to change his "pork bacon" to "chicken or goat bacon".

i wanted to cross a street and i thought the traffic light would stop when i get there. Not knowing that i had to press a button for the traffic light to pass me.i waited patiently fo rover 30 minutes , the pedestrian light did not pass me.

After about 30 minutes i had to cross the street like that oh (nothing dey happen) .

Another day iwanted to enter a building and i needed to press a button for the door to open,i just went straigth to the door thinking it would just open( automatic door). I had to form(pretend) that i had a phone call and just left the door( naija no dey carry last).

LMAOF @ chicken or goat bacon that had everyone in my office laughing

when i came to the US i didn't know that some parts of the subway(train) would only allow you to go downtown on one side and uptown on one side so i made a mistake and i entered the downtown side when i was supposed to be going uptown. By the time i noticed that i was going the wrong way i had already gone too far from my house and i didn't have any money on me to buy another ride to take me uptown. So i had to walk from like 135 street to 174th street looking at the amount of streets between them you would think it's not that far but i hadn't considered the name streets the blocked roads and bridges i had to walk over while following the numbers too. By the time i got home my mother was so mad at me that she started yelling "so oti bere si ma hang out pelu awon omo oni drug abi"( accusing me of hanging out with drug dealers) mind you i just got to the US and i'm looking at her like if it wasn't that i was so tired i might have to slap the crap out of you(you know that thought you have in your head but can't say) then i went straight to bed and my knees were throbbing for a few days not to mention my sister kept laughing at me.

@ blueband
Stop it dude, u really cracked me up. Goat or chicken bacon. phew!

We were just @ home in London and a friend told us that when he arrived , he wanted to use the elevator but was really scared so he ended up legging in and out which turn to awilo dance.

Another lady i went to pick @ the airport was so scared that she could not use the elevator but at the end i have to hold her hand.

Infact me i Bleep up well well, after using the toilet inside the plane then i flushed it and here comes a power air flush,i thought `ve damage the plane i quickly ran out.

The last one : everyone was on a queue for a bus before i realise myself i was inside the bus,everybody was annoyed. since then every thing just changed .

More replies,

hmnnn before i went to USA i had gone to Europe but the first experience i remember is in the subway in London.i was like 9 and i had to put the ticket through the readable slot.mehn i spent so much time figuring out where to put it.The lady behind showed me.i was busy frontin when my mum wanted to show me thinkin it was nothin.

These stories are simply delightful!   Thank you all for sharing!

I can only wonder what sort of challenges await me when I come to Nigeria for the first time!   

Dont live in the U.S but I visit once in a while. When I was about 12 or so my family went to this 'all-you-can-eat' place and I went to get some ice cream from the ice-cream dispenser. After 10 minutes of staring at the 10 plus knobs on the machine and using style to look round for a waitress to help, me I went ahead and began dispensing. So I waited for the ice cream to come out and I kept waiting. Ah ah nothing, so I tried another knob. By this time I was beginning to feel foolish so I went back to our table to ask my mum what was wrong with the machine. On arriving at the table my mum pointed in the direction of the machine. To my horror I saw a large puddle of ice cream on the floor and a restaurant full of oyinbos staring at me in shock,

I dont think I've experienced any other major embarrassment but there have been several lessons learnt in the U.S mehn, That's were I learnt about in-sink-erators, pizza cutters, nite light, the list goes on o.

LOL @ almondjoy's soda experience. I have had a few like those in the U.S. Even till this very day when I go to the Mickey dees in yankee and they ask me 'Orange soda?' I still look at them as if ''what the hell, mehn nah Fanta I asked for o!"

lol at the person who collected beer bottles in a restaurant,

Till today my mother collects plastic bags when she is in the U.S (and this woman is a seasoned traveller o!). Then she uses it for dustbin at home in Lagos,

Landed In amsterdam on me way to the US. Went to use the restroom and had no clue it was an automatic flush, so after carrying out my business and was busy pulling up my pants, the toilet just flushed on its own accord I nearly jumped outta my skin.
Landed in san francisco and all the ladies I walked pass were smiling at me, thought it was because I was cute not knowing it's the culture out here. Glad I didnt approach any females.
First two days in Mview I didnt eat anything tangible cos I didnt know where the restaurants were and was too proud to ask. Third day I summoned courage and asked and was directed to castro street where i found dozens of restaurants, I was all chinese food thereafter for the entire semester.

chei i don laff tire[color=][/color]

This is the funniest thread i have ever come accross in Nairaland. Could see myself all over in many of the stories, the plane, buses, soda, food stories etc.

guess any nigerian travelling abroad for the 1st time should read all this.

Ok, let me share this. It was in UK, where I was working. I had bought this bunch of banana on my way to work, It was launch time, was very hungry, so I went inside the car brought the bunch of banana to the staff room, started gulping the banana one after the other until I almost finish the whole bunch, when I look up I saw all eyes on me. When I got home and told my friends they had a good laugh at me. said I must have shown them we are truly living with monkeys in Africa. Wished I had eaten the banana inside my car jeje.

this my husbands experience.

wen we first arrived US we were facing all the many challenges that the average new comer has.No job and broke .at sometime.

One day,We needed to buy somethings from the shop and had no money except for tthe coins wc were mostly the pennies.
My husband picked the items he wanted from the shop and carried his bag of coins to the cashier to pay.
they counted kept counting piling and packing away the coins and other customers queued up looking pitifully at him.
When the coins completed he mad et to leave and a elderly white lady dashhed him a dollar note.

i came in to USA with immigrant visa yesterday still new and no jobs , no international driving licence and transcipt from my university in nigeria not ready yet

mercydrops:

i came in to USA with immigrant visa yesterday still new and no jobs , no international driving licence and transcipt from my university in nigeria not ready yet

welcome,just breath,relax and try to sort ur school situation out,things will fall into place with time.good luck.