And since you have identified the rebuilding process would work more effectively. What steps have you taken to at least get something running now?

onegig: And since you have identified the rebuilding process would work more effectively. What steps have you taken to at least get something running now?

thank you bro

am trying my best to get a job. something I notice about me since I lost my job is that I av bn very unfortunate in Almost everything. I don't know if it spiritual or normal thing. It's either they just done with recruitment or no vacancy. another thing is that I don't have people around me like before like friends girlfriend all gone. even brothers all avoiding me except my mum.
My downfall started when I I was dating a single mother. she left when everything crumble d.




I need a doctor

onegig: dagentility

I don't think i am in the best position to advice here but i believe in any situation. You just need to take a step back to access things.

I would advise you break away from that "environment" temporarily and see things logically. Is it ever worth your cry? Is that thing that is making you go through this worth the stress? Are you doing yourself any good by sticking somewhere that brings you no joy?

Just picture him having fun while you are here soaking it up, crying and making yourself misreable.

I guess it can be hard but please your personal happiness is more important than any other thing. Just stick around. People with more experience in matters of the heart would be here to help you out soon. Just don't do anything drastic please. Don't stay indoors alone. Find time to go visit friends or do something that takes it off your mind. It can be a short walk and don't listen to those love music. It would just keep reminding you of your hurt.

If he doesn't care, we here care about your happiness. Take care and be strong.

Thanks dear, ur advice will go a long way in making forget him. Its just dat it hasn't happend to me before dats why i'm finding it hard 2 cope with. But all d same thanks, i wil do my best 2 get out of dis miserable situation.

Angeldemivida:
@dagentility
Be strong and forge ahead. Life can be funny, someday he may be the one running back to you.

Thanks dear, i will do my best to move on. Pouring it out here the way it is has helped me alot 2day. Thanks to all who cared.

Safari29:
thank you bro

am trying my best to get a job. something I notice about me since I lost my job is that I av bn very unfortunate in Almost everything. I don't know if it spiritual or normal thing. It's either they just done with recruitment or no vacancy. another thing is that I don't have people around me like before like friends girlfriend all gone. even brothers all avoiding me except my mum.
My downfall started when I I was dating a single mother. she left when everything crumble d.




I need a doctor

Do you have a skill or something?
Anything that can help you get started without waiting to be called to start on a job by a company.
Pull yourself together please.Do you have a laptop or computer?
You can start something with it. I see youngsters getting busy with one money making engagement or the other in the business section.
I mean things are changing right now. When people wake up and run to work, you can actually sit in front of your computer and do one form of trading or the other. Go check them out there, some are doing mini importation. If you have no money to import, look for those that import in the "Do it yourself importation thread" etc and market for them so that you can get your own cut.

Don't feel down okay.

dagentility:
Thanks dear, ur advice will go a long way in making forget him. Its just dat it hasn't happend to me before dats why i'm finding it hard 2 cope with. But all d same thanks, i wil do my best 2 get out of dis miserable situation.

Do your best, Always remember your self worth.
If he doesn't appreciate you and does not consider you good enough for him.
You at least appreciate yourself, don't you?

@Safari29
You see what I was telling you.
See what this dude is doing and making all the money in the internet. https://www.nairaland.com/1499182/making-regular-income-publishing-amazon
If you get busy with these things, you will realize that there's no time to feel down, you can use that downtime creatively to cook up some nice books that will be earning you money monthly and on and on and on.
Things are happening in business section. Real things.

Angeldemivida:

Do your best, Always remember your self worth.
If he doesn't appreciate you and does not consider you good enough for him.
You at least appreciate yourself, don't you?

ya, i do.

Angeldemivida: @Safari29
You see what I was telling you.
See what this dude is doing and making all the money in the internet. https://www.nairaland.com/1499182/making-regular-income-publishing-amazon
If you get busy with these things, you will realize that there's no time to feel down, you can use that downtime creatively to cook up some nice books that will be earning you money monthly and on and on and on.
Things are happening in business section. Real things.

thank you so much am trying it out

I know it will be a great relief for me if this life were to end this very minute - drowning, road crash, Ebola, stray bullet, poison, I won't care. I have made enquiries about getting a job in Iraq or Borno State but nothing yet. Anyway, I know I don't have whatever it is it takes to take that step and end it with my own hands - so no suicider I am.

JuanDeDios: I know it will be a great relief for me if this life were to end this very minute - drowning, road crash, Ebola, stray bullet, poison, I won't care. I have made enquiries about getting a job in Iraq or Borno State but nothing yet. Anyway, I know I don't have whatever it is it takes to take that step and end it with my own hands - so no suicider I am.

Care to expantiate on what you are going through?

JuanDeDios: I know it will be a great relief for me if this life were to end this very minute - drowning, road crash, Ebola, stray bullet, poison, I won't care. I have made enquiries about getting a job in Iraq or Borno State but nothing yet. Anyway, I know I don't have whatever it is it takes to take that step and end it with my own hands - so no suicider I am.

If you wanna be a suicide bomber, there is a slot I can fill you in........


The troubles you see today will become a story tomorrow... Hang in there and keep pushing on.

JuanDeDios: I know it will be a great relief for me if this life were to end this very minute - drowning, road crash, Ebola, stray bullet, poison, I won't care. I have made enquiries about getting a job in Iraq or Borno State but nothing yet. Anyway, I know I don't have whatever it is it takes to take that step and end it with my own hands - so no suicider I am.

Glad you are being strong.
Life is like a Kaleidoscope of many colours. You may be seeing an unpleasant colour today and tomorrow the colour you will see may be heavenly beautiful. I am sure that if the dead ones can see, some people that killed themselves will be crying "how foolish they've been" while looking at the beautiful sides of life they caused themselves to lose out on.
It's foolish to kill oneself because of the troubles of today, you end up losing out on the joys of the good days and years ahead.

It used to be hard for me to think that a Nigerian would ever contemplate suicide but with the things people go through this days and all that, i bless GOD someone decided to create this. Some even get brainwashed too. Most of all, GODly counsel can save. Let's share.

I am very depressed.I am married to a chronic liar and a cheat. I am presently in my worst state. was size12 even after 2kids and now size18. I see no meaning to this anymore

beetruth: I am very depressed.I am married to a chronic liar and a cheat. I am presently in my worst state. was size12 even after 2kids and now size18. I see no meaning to this anymore

[b]Hmmm!


This one is strong...


Okay.. Lemme give this my best shot. It's not easy I am sure as I can't possibly relate to your situation, however I will still try.

You need to snap out of your depression and refocus your life on you and your kids.
Inner strength is what you need to dig deep within yourself to find. Your kids need you very much. Putting on all that weight can't possibly be healthy and except your ultimate plan is to get sick and die, leaving behind your kids for this Man you described to raise, then you need to refocus and do so fast.

I am a strong advocate of 'tears therapy'. Crying always somehow relives a lot of the burdens we carry, particularly the emotional aspect of that burden. Get the tears out of the way and have a lighter heart and a clearer mind. Then restrategise and refocus all your energy on you. Start going to the gym, get a workout routine sorted and stick to it religiously. Get back into shape and treat this like a project. Regain your self confidence and start to love yourself in your skin again. If you are a stay at home mum with little kids, find something outdoors that you can do with your kids or even better, in a group with other women. As you start socializing and meeting new peoples, you would start to feel alive again. If your kids are grown and at school, try getting a job or even starting up a business. Basically, keep your mind busy on something highly challenging, fun and productive. An idle mind is more susceptible to depression than an active one.

Your kids.. Center your life around them and live for them. Engross yourself in raising them and wrap yourself up with them. Use them to find comfort and joy within yourself and your home.

Treat your husband nicely and act like everything is well. If you ever catch him in a lie, with calm and poise, tell him the contradiction in what he said without calling him a lair outrightly.

Example: Bolaji, I thought yesterday you said the stain on your trousers were from the pap that spilled on you during lunch at work, how come today you are saying it's from engine oil?

Ask for the cheating, there isn't that much you can do about that. However, you can work your way back into being a sexyass Vixen and have people admire your look and pray that he realizes just how much he has and why he needs no other woman. If he doesn't, no problem. Being over weight wouldn't help bring your husband back into your arms.

Now despite all I have written, if you know within yourself after some deep thought that you can't deal with the situation you currently find yourself in and that your depression is getting worse, please opt out lest you die there. Get a lawyer and file for divorce and get the courts to award you maintenance (alimony) according to the marriage act of Nigeria.

I never advice seeing a pastor as they tend to over spiritualize a non spiritual problem.

You can talk to either of your parents that is understanding and reasonable enough otherwise, don't do it at all. I have a friend whose father keeps sending her back to her abusive husband because he believes a woman should never leave her matrimonial home no matter what.

If you are spiritual like most Nigerians, you can pray.. I can encourage this as I think prayer can also be a form a of therapy.


In summary, refocus on other important aspects of your life that are within your control like; your weight, your kids and your general well being. Being depressed does nothing to help your case and may lead you to a very low point and in the end, your kids would suffer.

Goodluck.. [/b]

RoyalRoy: Nice one Madcow1.....guess u ain't so mad after all. Lolllz

Yes poster Madcow was great.
Miss Beetruth, Madcow really took time to give you great words.
You see that part about being strong for your kids and for yourself, you have to take that to heart. Don't worry yourself to death because he cheats and lies. If you bring problems on yourself from worrying too much and something happens to you, Life goes on. Mr. Man marries another and keeps rocking and making his body happy. Why don't you concentrate on your well being and happiness now. It's one life, you know. Only one life you've got so live it in spite of what goes on around you.

Remember: Your Well being, your Happiness.

I can relate to some of things here always feeling empty no matter how

No friend no foe always lonely at times I think am on the wrong path everything is just so frustrating I wish I could close my eyes and it all go away
Av learnt to put up face no matter what bt am dying inside seeing me smile doesn't equate to me been happy cus there's a lot behind that smile

Ariyke: I can relate to some of things here always feeling empty no matter how

No friend no foe always lonely at times I think am on the wrong path everything is just so frustrating I wish I could close my eyes and it all go away
Av learnt to put up face no matter what bt am dying inside seeing me smile doesn't equate to me been happy cus there's a lot behind that smile

Inner strength! Inner strength!
Muster it.
Guard it for yourself.
When everything around you is going crazy, the way you never expected.
Be strong for yourself so that the billows can roll pass you without taking you along with it.
Someday you will emerge safe, shake off all the sands and waters of the oceans of life and live on.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Angeldemivida:

Inner strength! Inner strength!
Muster it.
Guard it for yourself.
When everything around you is going crazy, the way you never expected.
Be strong for yourself so that the billows can roll pass you without taking you along with it.
Someday you will emerge safe, shake off all the sands and waters of the oceans of life and live on.
Yeah.
Yeah.

thanks so much av been trying to be strong for my self bt like I said its so frustrating

Ariyke: I can relate to some of things here always feeling empty no matter how

No friend no foe always lonely at times I think am on the wrong path everything is just so frustrating I wish I could close my eyes and it all go away
Av learnt to put up face no matter what bt am dying inside seeing me smile doesn't equate to me been happy cus there's a lot behind that smile

oh girl I know how you feel. Sorry about that it happens attimes. No friends? What about me?
Just let it out and talk to someone. I am always there just in case you need someone to talk to. Take care

joywendy: oh girl I know how you feel. Sorry about that it happens attimes. No friends? What about me?
Just let it out and talk to someone. I am always there just in case you need someone to talk to. Take care

babes of course u are truly my new found friend bt u knw at times u need to see with friends to cheer u up

Ariyke: babes of course u are truly my new found friend bt u knw at times u need to see with friends to cheer u up

thanks I appreciate the kind words
Mmmm...not very true, someone like me I don't have friends around the friends I had in secondary school I lost contact with some and some left the country just a few I have left from secondary school and a few I have in uni at present , the only way I communiate with them is through social media and some times phone calls or text. When I feel down, I just chat with one or two of them and they cheer me up. Though I would like to see them and discuss at large but what can I do? Do I have to start travelling to different part of nigeria because I want to talk to someone? No, it just a waste of time and resources. They say 'if you don't have what you want, you make use of what you have to get what you want'. So cheer up girl and if you really need someone to talk to like face to face don't forget your family members are still there.Hope is not lost, remember that.

joywendy: thanks I appreciate the kind words
Mmmm...not very true, someone like me I don't have friends around the friends I had in secondary school I lost contact with some and some left the country just a few I have left from secondary school and a few I have in uni at present , the only way I communiate with them is through social media and some times phone calls or text. When I feel down, I just chat with one or two of them and they cheer me up. Though I would like to see them and discuss at large but what can I do? Do I have to start travelling to different part of nigeria because I want to talk to someone? No, it just a waste of time and resources. They say 'if you don't have what you want, you make use of what you have to get what you want'. So cheer up girl and if you really need someone to talk to like face to face don't forget your family members are still there.Hope is not lost, remember that.

thanks so much sweet God bless

Ariyke: thanks so much sweet God bless

you are welcome!

Thanks guys for concern. Am fine now.